I originally wanted to write a story about how mentally resilient Russian Women can be but instead I ended up writing about what many of these ladies go through on a daily basis. I think this post is equally effective in illustrating my original point about their general fortitude. The following scenario in itself is fictional but every element is completely grounded in everyday reality here. Click the various links below to see more images.
Did you know that only 34% of Russian families own cars and the rest rely on various forms of public transportation to get around?
Now at first glance this may not seem so bad but when you combine this with extreme weather and a lack of modern infrastructure for the vast majority of the country outside of Moscow, a whole different set of visuals comes to mind.
In the winter, a typical Russian girl may wear a heavy fur coat weighing up to 10 pounds in order to protect her from the elements. This is usually done in conjunction with knee length winter boots with at least a 3 inch heel because looking her best in public is never an option for her.
(If she doesn’t have a fur coat then a heavy ankle length felt coat or nylon winter jacket with goose down and fur lining also works equally well.)
Now try to imagine this young lady waiting up to 2 hours after work at an unsheltered bus stop in minus 30 C weather along with dozens of other cold and unhappy people as another sub-zero Siberian night quickly rolls in. If there’s any wind this minus 30 will instantly feel like minus 40 on any exposed part of her body. Now even-though her coat has a gorgeous protective fur hood around her head, her face is still exposed and is especially sensitive to the pounding icy winds as her cheeks flush bright red due to the frozen and tiny broken blood vessels just beneath the surface of her skin.
Her mini-bus (or mashrutka) finally rolls up with 16 people already crammed inside like sardines. It’s standing room only for the lucky 4 strangers who managed to fight their way in with her. They may say “standing room” but it’s not really the case because the low roof of the mini-bus forces her and the other passengers on their feet to hunch over and grab a support grip and often the person next to them for support while the momentum of the van throws everybody from side to side. She probably won’t be stuck in this position for the entire 45 minute trip home because somebody sitting next to her will inevitably get off at an earlier stop and then she’ll be relieved to take it and finally sit down.
The air inside is equally frozen and the smoky white puffs of exhaled breath from the passengers has created a frozen glaze on the windows which prevents anyone from seeing their location let alone knowing where their next bus stop is. The heavily tattooed driver is smoking Marlboro Reds (and by default so is everyone else because of his 2nd hand smoke) while blasting an obnoxious mix of electronic polka prison music called “chanson” that is literally composed and sung by incarcerated criminals.
“… I’m sorry i’m such a bad boy… Please forgive me mama… I was drunk when I killed her..”
If the driver is feeling generous he will call out the bus stops as he approaches them but often no-one will hear him above the crowded clamor of the van. In-spite of this, somehow our Russian lady manages to get enough visual cues to her location through the smeared and melted hand prints on the frozen windows and calls out to the driver to stop.
“Nosto-novke Pazhaluda!”
The driver comes to a sliding stop on the ice. He only saw 2 other crashes on the slick roads this evening so traffic really wasn’t that bad today. He’s more worried about the traffic cops stopping him and shaking him down for the usual bribe that he can’t afford to pay.
Our young lady now has to squeeze through the compacted bodies in her way to reach the handle to open the van’s sliding door. She’s not worried about any cad coping a feel of her ass right now because she’s protected by a few inches of fur and clothes, but in the summer when she’s only wearing a loose top and mini-skirt it can be a whole different story.
She survived the commute to her local bus stop or “ostonovka” but now it’s time to walk through the uneven mounds of glazed ice on the sidewalk to the corner market so she can get groceries on her way home.
The market itself looks like a scene out of a horror movie. The foundations are uneven as one side slowly sinks into the mud below. The exterior walls are made from brick and old cracked wooden panels. The roof is dangerously ringed with large hanging icicles that could easily impale somebody when they eventually fall. The two windows on either side of the entrance are protected from intruders by a twisted pattern of rusted iron re-bar made to look like a spiders web.
None of this is given the slightest thought as she approaches the heavy black metal door to the market. The door itself looks no different then the ones you’d find in the solitary confinement section of a prison. There is a locked waist high sliding panel that would be perfect for handing a prisoner his meal but in this case it’s used to sell late night bottles of beer and vodka to the neighborhood alcoholics who need their fix no matter what time it is.
She uses both hands and most of her body weight to swing open the door and enters into a room that is no bigger then the typical living room of a small apartment. There are a series of ledges that ring the room displaying different Russian food products. They usually display only one or two different brands for items like pasta, rice, porridge, and canned goods but there is always an entire ledge or wall devoted to displaying about thirty different brands of vodkas and roughly 20 various grades of beer. The vodkas range from the small 250 ml “one hit wonders” that cost about 50 cents to the expensive, elaborate and artistically designed bottles that are made to look like fine female sculptures or even a Kalishnikov automatic rifle.
The wooden floor is smeared with melted mud that’s been tracked in by other customers and it hardly seems like a sanitary place to buy food but the older babushkas behind the refrigerated display counter don’t really pay attention because they’re too busy trying to find change (that they always never seem to have) for the 500 ruble note (about 15 dollars) that she hands to them for the groceries. Cash only in a place like this.. no credit or debit cards here.
Two plastic bags are filled with a few dried sausages, canned food, bottled water, vegetables, imported fruit and a hard loaf of uncut black bread. She now turns and carries the bags with her hands side by side as she uses her shoulder to shove the door outward for her quick escape before the door forcefully speeds back with a loud metallic clang against it’s heavy frame.
It’s not the weekend so the number of used cigarette butts, empty bottles, and broken glass around the surrounding area is still relatively sparse. The rotating metal trash cans welded next to the fractured park benches are not over flowing with garbage yet. But even in this freezing cold, the distinct smell of rotting beer and urine still lingers near the garbage dumpster she directly passes just outside the market.
Through the icy roads she goes, past the neighborhood bust of Lenin so prominently displayed in the local park, and weaving through the monolithic blocks of Soviet era housing compounds which are standard homes for most Russian people.
The bags swing heavily from her sides but their weight gives her added leverage by holding her down to the ice as she shifts her feet in quick short slides that move her forward like a girl learning how to roller skate for the first time. It would be interesting to note that she’s mastered this fine art of walking in high heel boots by the time she was just a school girl.
Walking in winter is actually not so bad compared to the spring when the snow melts and the black water combines with mud and leaking car oil which openly sloshes around in huge pools on the streets because Soviet era central planning never had the wisdom to build water runoff drains or storm sewers to handle the rain or snow melt. In the spring there is so much mud and black slush that people throw down broken bricks and planks of wood in order to create a makeshift stepping stone bridge through the grime. Even with these improvised measures there’s simply no avoiding the mud and daily effort must always go into cleaning their boots once they reach home.
After nearly 3 hours she’s finally reached her building. Taking a taxi could really have helped her and by western standards 8 to 10 dollars for a ride home may not seem like much but when the average monthly salary is only 150 to 300 dollars, taking a taxi is simply not an option when 10 rubles is all it usually takes to ride the “mashrutka” which she just came out from. Taking the bus is even cheaper but it would have easily added another hour to her trip due to it’s lumbering slow speed and even more crowded conditions.
Her colorless and gray 12 story housing complex is nearly identical in every way to the ten others in her block. She’s lived here for all 24 years of her life but she still feels lucky because she knows that the taller buildings like her’s are more “modern” then the standard 4 or 5 story buildings with no elevators that most everyone from the older generation lives in. The old folks can still make it up and down the 4 story stairwell but they would never make it up to the 9th floor where she lives when the elevator inevitably fails or get’s shut down past 9 pm.
Today is not her day it seems.
The lift is out of order again and no attempts have been made to repair it yet. She can quickly see this with the crude “Nyet Rabotet” sign taped on its door. Without breaking her stride she heads for the dimly lit and heavily graffitied stairwell. She knows that the faster she climbs these stairs without stopping, the easier it will be to push through and quickly reach her floor.
She’s normally very happy to live on the 9th floor in order to have the relatively good view of the city that she does. Sometimes she’s even happy to take on this often mandatory exercise and climb the 9 flights to keep her attractive slim body in shape. But today after such a long and cold wait at the bus stop she really could have used a quick elevator ride to her door.
2nd floor..
Past the rows of small blue mail boxes.. lots of junk mail and payment notices are scattered on the dirty bare concrete floor.
3rd floor..
There’s an old man with a cane slowly walking down stairs. His breath reeks with alcohol as his hand trembles on the raw iron railing he uses to guide himself down.
5th floor..
Complete blackness and she reaches into her coat pocket with great difficulty to pull out her mobile phone for illumination as the grocery bags are cutting the circulation to her hands. It seems like nobody on this floor really cares about putting their own bulb into the hallway light socket.
6th floor..
Three teenage boys about 16 years of age are hanging out on the stairwell and sharing a large 5 litter bottle of strong Siberian beer, smoking cigarettes and trying to talk like gangsters. One of them already has a bruised and black eye. She completely ignore the hooligans in training as she squeezes through the stairs between them.
7th floor..
Breathing really hard and her legs are starting to cramp. She really doesn’t like this floor because she’s seen an occasional syringe on the ground during the past year.
9th floor..
Home at last.. and with her last bit of strength she presses the door bell. Mama’s been waiting and quickly opens the door for her. The smile they share is real and heartfelt even as she’s still trying to catch her breath. Mama quickly grabs the bags from her and heads to the kitchen.
Being the only daughter is always a big responsibility and tonight is no different as she quickly shed’s her fur coat and places it on the hallway hook and then unzips her long winter boots before heading to the bathroom to freshen up a little.
After washing up she instinctively heads to the tiny 35 square foot kitchen to help her mother with the cooking. Her mama can tell by the time that her daughters has had a long commute home so she tells her to feed the cat and to go relax in the small living room. She obliges but not until she gets a chance to embrace and carry her large fluffy cat onto the small sofa next to the TV.
In fifteen minutes a few modest pieces of pan fried chicken, borch soup, sour cream, and sliced black bread are waiting for her on the tiny kitchen table that only the two of them dine on. She pours the hot tea for mama and chit chats about her day as they start to eat.
There is genuine love and warmth in this home. The simple mercury thermometer attached to the outside kitchen window pane starts dipping down to minus 35 C but you would never feel this chill as the radiator beneath the table keeps both of their legs toasty. Mama’s had her usual long work day too but the pride she feels in her beautiful daughter is more then enough to compensate for the hardships.
She only hopes that someday her daughter will be blessed to find a good husband who can someday bless her with beautiful grandchildren.
Mama reverently looks towards the small pictures of Orthodox Christian icons adorning her kitchen wall and wonders.
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I have never been more thankful to live where I live. I know for a fact that I would survive for about 5 seconds in Russia.
In-spite all of the obvious challenges, the irony of living here is that I’ve never felt more “alive” than in my entire life. Everything described above is something that I have literally lived through and I believe that I’m a better and stronger man because of it.
However, also keep in mind that Russia is not always like what I described above.
We have good weather months, a growing number of modern shops and slowly expanding infrastructure.. But as with many developing countries massive problems such as corruption still plagues these people and this country has a long ways to travel before anyone can claim that my story above doesn’t somehow represent the majority of Russians in the country.
BTW I’ll be looking forward to the day when this story will NOT be an accurate reflection of the current state of affairs in Russia.
So am I. I believe that Russia has a lot to offer. My comment was meant to be a testament to the women there. To deal with that everyday and to see it as being no big deal is a feat indeed. They are brave!
I’m guessing this would be in one of the smaller cities or am i wrong and this takes place within moscow. I’ve heard of how bad living conditions can get, but i guess if your not rich things can be tough. i am eagerly awaiting part 2 to find out more.
Steve,
You guessed right. In Moscow things can be just as bad and gap between rich and poor is very big. Middle class group is very small. Moscow has a lot of stores and restaurants, but what is use of them if one doesn’t have money? Dangerous slippy slope here is to not concentrate only on material things (unfortunately a lot of people do), but to preserve your dignity and soul, and don’t make your life about greed and judging people by what they have and not what they are. I’m lucky that I’m surrounded by people of a true character and looking for the same in my future spouse.
RW, you get me into mood to philosophize again.
))
Hi Evsuhka,
The middle class in the United States is in a serious bind, too. Real wages for the middle class have declined steadily for over 30 years. Increasingly, couples in this group have seen their options decrease with those wages. The government had good intentions in trying to make housing more affordable for this group, but, unfortunately, financiers with a greedy fetish for securitization and speculation, old fashioned Main Street speculators, brokers and, yes, some people diving in too far made the situation worse.
Globalization, which in my opinion is simply a natural evolution, has enriched the upper class beyond comprehension, but, thus far, the middle class has suffered the most with the resulting migration of jobs to low wage countries.
Once again, I am a bit off topic, but since all this directly impacts men and women wishing to start families, I do think it is relevant. It’s important, too, for people everywhere to understand that the capitalism we Americans have aggressively exported with religious zeal for decades has its pitfalls, too. Personally, I think it is the best of several bad systems, but, unlike most businessmen, I think some of the programs seen in Europe(branded as socialistic here) work wonderfully in softening the hard edges of captitalism.
Sam, would you agree that a big part of our problem in NA is that we simply (as a people, overall) don’t seem willing to accept any middle ground on nearly anything? There’s the ‘left’ and the ‘right’ but there really isn’t any ‘moderate’ party. There’s ‘capitalism’ or ‘socialism’ but no ‘realism’. We have room for conservatives and liberals to bicker constantly over how things ‘must be’ without giving a single breath to what ‘could’ be. Yet even when there is a move towards the middle, even that must be bastardized into some completely inflexible. Gender neutralization would be one of those supposed compromises which has only deemed everyone to be bland and impersonal.
I believe we can have capitalism with socialist segments functioning right along side. I believe we can have gender equality without gender blending and quota ‘protection’. I fail to understand why we can not afford the luxury of intelligence which allows influences from anywhere without having to destroy the basic logic we stand on.
As a nation, America could choose to be isolationist, but we don’t. We could choose to force compliance of immigration and naturalization the way that other countries do, but we don’t. We could make our system the most progressive in the world by simply allowing equal access to the process despite not having any party affiliation, but unfortunately, we don’t.
The world is so much more than we seem to want it to be. It isn’t black and white. It isn’t right or left. The vast majority is filling the middle ground yet we offer no viable representation of the masses.
RW,
Amazing essay! Thank you. It brings memories back. Even though I’m from Moscow where things are more comfortable and our apartment was on second floor, this “survivor mode” we lived in was described very well in your post. It’s true that it makes you appreciate little things in life and should be no surprise to tourist why people look grouchy on streets, but as you pointed out, when we get home – it’s all about family, love, and warmth we share.
Now living in Chicago,there are pretty bad winters too with a lot of snow (believe me digging my car out of snow in the morning on the way to work is no fun exercise), but public transportation is much more comfortable and use of car make life way easier. And still I hope to preserve that felling of appreciation of a small basic things in life and will work very hard on passing it down to my children. My parents dreamed of best material things they wanted to give me and couldn’t, but instead they gave me much more – feeling of being loved, respected, support of a family and appreciation of life itself.
RW, you deep understanding of Russian culture and life in Russia amazes me and it’s a pleasure to read your posts.
Evushka
Evushka it’s always great when a Russian lady like you endorses the material on this site. I actually feel quite honored to have the understanding that I do because I’m an outsider to Russia and it’s people like yourselves that are living breathing embodiments of your deep and great culture.
I’m always happy to do my part to communicate what the “Secret Russian Soul” is all about to the rest of the world.
Thank you for the article. This is the “real truth”. Every word. I started to feel so proud of our women. We live in such bad conditions and still have time to laugh, to dream and to believe in happy future.
Privyet Jenya!
Hey what is a sexy engineer like you doing in a place like this?
Glad to have you on-board darling.. and thanks for the sincere and heart-felt comment.
Jenya,
Its really nice to see you are still watching things here and I’m one who is happy to see your response.
Will we be hearing more of your thoughts again in the near future?
(I sure hope so)
rw_man,
This story rips at my senses knowing in my heart that it is probably as common as the sun rising in the morning. It is hard for me to imagine the quality of character required to face that life everyday with dignity intact. Being young, smart, and hard working but still seeing your options so limited must be damaging to one’s spirit, yet these people accept it all with conviction and determination. I am very impressed.
There were many times in my youth when I silently cursed everyone who was living a more enjoyable, less burdened life than we farm kids knew. It always seemed as if we were the last to enjoy any convenience of the emerging technology in the 50s and 60s. Added to the scenario was the fact that my dad’s uncle was the family elder who made the majority of decisions regarding procedures on all four of the combined properties, and he was very set in his archaic ways, preferring a team of horses for most field work and deeply despising tractors specifically and mechanized farming in general.
The first house my dad bought in town after the family farms were broken up would fit inside about half of my current home. Even with that leap forward in lifestyle, I was still quite put out by sharing a room with my brother for the rest of our childhood, having to walk or bicycle a mile to school rather than having a bus meet me in front of our country house, and being firmly told that I could no longer drive the truck whenever I liked, until I was ‘old enough’.
Yet even in my early 20s during the time when I was wandering the country trying to ‘find myself’ and had no money to speak of, no dependable car or place to call home, I felt like I was luckier than many people. I could see guys that had been homeless for years, by no real fault of their own, while I was actually choosing to hitch-hike everywhere, sleep in Salvation Army drop boxes and panhandle around bus stations. At that time, the only real sacrifice I’d made was my self respect. I had seen but apparently not understood the value of family and roots.
The more you speak of these women and their lives, the more respect I have for them. I know that anyone can choose to handle daily challenges or adversity in many different ways, but those who face it and move through it in the way which you’ve described are the ones we should all aspire to emulate. They set a higher bar than those who have much but offer little.
Richard I think the key word for both of your experiences.. actually all of our life experiences is “Humanity”.
We all have felt it to various degrees in our life but I’ve never been so humbled by its presence like I have when I’m around these true ladies. It’s the deepest emotional and spiritual currency I know of and I’m very fortunate to have a trans-formative existence and identity because of it.
When I’m near my wife or with other close friends like Jenya or Masha I feel some very deep masculine genetic triggers going off and the simple clarity that comes with it is profound.
I know in the US there are more then a few women who like to label themselves as “goddesses”. But the grand irony with these Russian Girls is that they would never label or see themselves this way but they are the ones who most appropriately carry that divine feminine energy.
Oops.. time for me to go make an offering
Well described, took me right back to my time in Moscow.
Yes our winters can be quite bad. But I don’t think that there are any “markets” left, like the one RW described.
Bad, but beautiful
I wouldn’t know about the markets, I mostly did my shopping at Ashan or the MGU kiosks/shops. But the heavy doors, icicles and “uneven mounds of glazed ice” I definitely remember!
Ken,
I want to start by saying that I am not attacking anything you’ve said here, but I am trying to play devil’s advocate in this response.
It may have to do with the current state of affairs in NA and the way things are for people growing up here, but it is my considered opinion that people don’t need to “fall in love” again and again, over the years if they were really “in love” to begin with.
In this regard, our modern NA culture is entirely set in the results of feminism’s destructive power. The whole concept of ‘falling out of love’ with someone was coined by the feminist movement before we were even born.
I still contend that we, as a people, completely lack a working understanding of love. Maybe not everyone as I’m sure that some of us would still be able to see it if we were fortunate enough to find it. However, we have become far too accustomed to using the word ‘love’ for a multitude of feelings which have virtually nothing to do with love. For example, “I love that car”, “I love the new programming schedule”, “I love the way she makes me feel”, etc. These feelings aren’t love and consequently, by misuse of the word with such regularity, we have lost any grasp of its true meaning. We are desensitized to the joy and exhilaration of being in love because we attach the word to every minute segment of our relationships and our lives, rather than saving it for describing the entire cumulative process.
First of all, love is found WITHIN a relationship. It is NOT the sensation you get when first seeing a person that you want to meet, get to know better or sleep with. What’s more, so called ‘chemistry’ is NOT predicated on appearances or first impressions, either. That ‘chemistry’ which some people might or might not have in a relationship is just a small part of the bigger puzzle which we should identify as ‘love’. Love is an emotional connection, NOT a physical one. Good sex, despite popular thinking, is NOT what love is all about.
If you can imagine having a daughter and trying to teach her about love and relationships, would you lead her to believe that she will only understand ‘love’ after sleeping with any or every guy that she meets? I certainly hope not. The real love that we are trying to discover for ourselves and to pass along to our children is so much more than sexual satisfaction, but the world is out to discount emotions and place all value on the tangible, physical acts. It is just a continuation of placing selfish desires over meaningful interaction.
Never let it be said that I do not appreciate a strong physical relationship. In my opinion marriage is only strengthened by a good sex life. But if sex is the strongest part of a marriage, the marriage CAN NOT LAST. Sex alone will never permanently bind a relationship.
So, what are we looking for? (How much room do we have here?)
When we can be with someone in any situation, stand together on the serious points and laugh together on the humorous ones; when we are like minded and generally looking for how to best serve our partner before our self; when we are uncomfortable being apart and tense waiting to be together; when we can hardly imagine years passing without being in each others’ arms day after day; that is a beginning to a loving relationship. If those sorts of feelings begin to wane after a few years, then you were substituting lust in place of love all along.
Any time that you stand next to a couple that have been married for 30 or 40 years and you see the sparkle in her eyes looking at her husband, or see the way he touches her as if there is no other woman alive on the entire planet, you are witness to true love. If you see that in a couple who have faced tremendous ups and downs both professionally and personally, you are witnessing true love. If you see those things in a couple after burying a child, you are blessed to be seeing true love. Those sights are from personal experience and all from one couple that I’ve known for more than 25 years. But I have seen all of those things in more than one couple, and in fact in many couples. I know that such love exists because I have seen it. I know that such people exist because I can talk to them any time I choose: they are real people.
Will we all know that kind of love? Sorry, but I personally doubt it. CAN we all know that kind of love? Surely we can, but never before understanding that this is what true love looks like and deciding not to settle for anything less.
Insanity has been described as doing the same thing while expecting different results. As long as we continue to seek ‘love’ in an environment which knows very little about ‘love’, it is unlikely that we will ever enjoy the benefits of a truly loving relationship.
Richard,
No problem and no offense taken.
The ladies know what I’m taking about. If not, and one of them requests, I can more specifically describe the misused and rather meaningless phrase of “Falling in love”. I understand the etymology of it all too well.
“If you can imagine having a daughter…”
I have two teen daughters.
“Insanity has been described as doing the same thing while expecting different results.”
Agreed.
Thanks Richard.
Since I am here:
Ladies,
What qualities or characteristics in a man would you like to be able to brag to your Mom or best friends about? What about after 5 or 10 years of marriage? What do you think would make you proud of him as a man and as your husband? I can guess but I’d like your comments.
Thanks for your input!
-Ken
RW,
Thanks for another great post. I can’t imagine having to deal with that kind of ordeal of getting to and from work. What rugged people.
A few minutes ago I heard a couple of ladies complain about having to walk too far (from an air-conditioned car) in the parking lot to an air-conditioned store. They were sweating in the summertime heat and had to walk no more than 300 feet. I actually heard them gasping as if climbing stairs. Age? Looked like late 20′s. I wish this was uncommon but it’s not. What else could a man offer the ladies in the parking lot- A PIGGY-BACK RIDE?!
At 250lbs each…I’ll pass, thank you very much.
The toughness of the FSU ladies is unexpectedly appealing!
What man WOULDN’T want to honor, provide for, support and protect a woman like the lady in your story. Lazy, fragile, weak, bitchy, “feminist influenced” ladies, in contrast, are so unappealing as to make lonliness look good! Clearly “feminine” doesn’t mean “fragile”.
Thanks again RW!
-Ken
PS: The girl looks like a sweetheart. I think she’d get a piggyback ride anywhere she needed, and flowers as well!
Your welcome Ken..
There’s always a culture shock when visiting this part of the world and getting to see all of this stuff first hand.
But the bigger shock for me, (which goes along the lines with what you are saying) is that I couldn’t believe how “tough” yet how feminine these ladies were. There were more then a few times when I was a little anxious to try something new here that looked hazardous (like taking public transportation) yet the girls themselves would completely take all of this in stride. So yes.. there is a huge attractiveness factor from a man’s perspective when you see ladies like this indeed.
You know rw, It just occurred to me that so many of the women in America are also very tough, but it is toughness TOWARDS MEN. They “Hold their ground”, “Won’t put up with this or that”,”Have no problem telling a man the way it’s going to be”, or to “Let him know where he stands”, if he’s ALLOWED to stand! Her “toughness” in my opinion, seems to stem from insecurity. A strong masculine man with a defined sense of self seems to be a threat to this type of woman. Perhaps she’s come to believe that such a man SHOULD NOT be in charge, in control, he CANNOT be trusted to be dominant or to take the lead. It’s HER life NOT HIS!! True, true…keep it honey. Shallow men need you.
In stark and delightful contrast…if FSU women are “tough and rugged” in dealing with such an environment (which actually appears mind-numbing by N/A standards), and she still maintains her gentle, feminine presence so that at the end of the day she is caring and kind to her family or her man? THAT is incredibly endearing. Your story really explains a lot, possibly (Though not likely) more than you realize.
I can only hope to be able to share a life with a woman of that caliber and character. My desire, naturally, would be to make her life much, much easier. A man will do anything for a good woman!
Thanks rw,
Ken
That’s a heck of a fine observation you have there Ken. You are right on the money.. AW tend to be not necessarily strong but aggressive with a chip on their shoulder towards Men. And the interesting thing is as you noted in your previous comment… they can often be quite weak when it comes to any environmental challenges.. hmmm looks like we are dealing with an interesting case of reverse opposites here.
rw there’s a ad in the Atlanta Airport that shows a huge face of an African woman and it says “She is Powerful!”. Then it asks that we help her so that she can achieve her potential.
Now we can donate money to help a “Powerful” woman actually achieve her own potential. Hahah we can’t leave “Powerful Women” to succeed on their own now can we? That would be …unequal and unfair I guess.
Learning that Russian women are NOT looking to be “rescued from their lives” makes them that much more desirable. Of course we’ll try.
Here’s my ad:
“Powerful Man” needs “Feminine FSU Woman” to achieve his potential AND her potential.
Now THAT sounds fair and equal!
-Ken
*Cheers again* NA society doesn’t actually teach girls to be strong. It teaches them that they’re strong despite not actually having to deal with anything. The first thing I would do if I moved to Russia would be to walk up to the closest attractive woman and say ” Teach me.” In this respect (and in many others, although we can get into that later) I feel like the society I live in has failed me. When life’s trials and tribulations finally appear, we either have to teach ourselves to deal with it, or we fail and never recover. Thank god that I didn’t fail.
Ken what you saw in the Atlanta Airport looks like pure Orwell to me.
“She is Powerful”
“Ignorance is Strength”
“War is Peace”
“Freedom is Slavery”
I ask people all the time to be VERY careful of the words that the “powers that be” try to introduce and take control of..
And your example seems to be a perfect example of that.
“Give your money so that she may be more powerful”
We saw an excellent film last night that I HIGHLY recommend for everyone that is very relevant to this discussion.
V is for Vendetta
It has an incredibly relevant plot and even more stunning dialog.
It has the following quote from the dissident lesbian character named Valerie who was held in a gulag detention center. Before she dies from torture and abuse she is writing her secret diary and says the following.
“I remember how the meaning of words began to change. How unfamiliar words like ‘collateral’ and ‘rendition’ became frightening.”
This was a very powerful moment in the film because
there are forces throughout history and in our own society that understand the controlling power of language.
Feminism is a perfect example of a hostile anti-family, anti-male AND anti-female political movement that has absolutely captured the “discussion landscape” of North America and the West.
Examine the following common feminist accusations carefully..
“You just want a woman that needs to be rescued.”
“You just want a submissive woman.”
In both cases the implication is that the woman you desire is “weak” thus implying that she is a “lesser woman” and therefore “socially undesirable”.
The ultimate implication that Feminist try to frighten you into “thought submission” with is that YOU are “socially undesirable” for wanting a woman like this in the first place.
But the opposite side of this coin exposes the secret ideas that the Feminists truly wish to promote.
“You should subjugate yourself to a dominating woman.”
“You should sleep with a woman who is your competitor and rival.”
The words and language these feminist use are exceptionally powerful because they immediately control and restrict the thoughts of an un-aware person who is exposed to it.
So PLEASE be careful when you make the statement
“Russian Women are not looking to be rescued from their lives.”
Because as I’ve written in an earlier post..
http://russianwomentruth.com/the-secret-of-a-real-womans-inner-desire/
WHAT IS WRONG WITH BEING RESCUED?
Christianity itself is based on the premise of being rescued except that it’s called “Being Saved”.
What heterosexual woman (including so-called feminists) on this earth has never had the fantasy of a knight in shining armor coming to sweep her away on his white horse?
Even we Men need to be rescued..
How many poems or love songs are based on the Love of a Woman saving the soul and life of a Man?
The key issue with this word “Rescue” is the other question that needs to be asked.
Does the person in question DESERVE to be rescued?
In the case of my story of a typical Russian Girl above.. Does she deserve to be rescued?
Absolutely..
Would she ever overtly ask for it?
NEVER..
Traditional Russian Ladies have a level of pride and honor (often to a fault) that would rather see themselves perish then to be labeled as desperate.
And believe me I see this all the time with the women here.
And you may find this fascinating but this cultural value is in itself a POWERFUL Survival Mechanism.
Because these women understand an important part of human nature very well. Some examples..
People who appear hungry often never get fed.
Men who appear hungry for a woman will never get a date.
People who look like they are desperate for money will never get the amount they really need.
Or in short..
If you want something badly.. you must be prepared to walk away from it.
Trust me Ken.. The Russians are absolute masters at this ability to control people’s perceptions of themselves.
This goes very very deep into their culture and history. And this is especially the case with their women.
The biggest mistake any American or Western Man can make in regards to these women is to think of them as “desperate” and to roll into town thinking that their status as a US Passport Holder with some money is going to automatically win them some beautiful woman without the all important respect that needs to be demonstrated.
With the exception of the prostitutes and gold diggers that have a radar for guys like this..
Normal girls would rather die alone then let themselves give into this.
Gillian I can certainly relate to your desire to learn what these people know. My mind was really an empty sponge when I first got here and that is the beautiful thing about living overseas because the locals you are with often feel the same way about you.
Here’s an interesting story.. Often times I get asked by the locals how could I come to Siberia on my own and survive.. Gee weren’t you afraid?
I would turn around and ask them.. Do you have small babies and old people in Siberia?
And they would say of course!
Then I would turn around and say.. well if small babies and old people can survive here that means that a grown man like me can too!
Thanks rw,
This is the kind of dialogue I get the most out of.
You’re correct that the bastardization of WORDS is by design and a very damaging. I find myself using words and phrases not because I like them, but because it’s what people understand. I was “chastised” for using the phrase “Falling in love”, though I know it is an improper phrase, but understood. The word “Love” is too vague, “God” is not “Gods name, “Tolerance” promotes hate, “Equality” means Hell-on-earth. I am a regular listener to Infowars, as I suspect you are rw, and I understand that some things I can change and some I can’t. I won’t discuss the resistance I’m waging against the kind of people that Aaron Russo interviewed, but I am definitely awake and doing my part.
About your comment:
“So PLEASE be careful when you make the statement”
“Russian Women are not looking to be rescued from their lives.”
I completely accept your correction, because in my heart, I’d LOVE (intensely desire) to be the Knight in Shinning Armor. What an honor it would be to provide what only a strong man could provide. I WANT to rescue a woman, but not a hateful, feminist-influenced type, as you pointed out.
The (N/A ladies) Personals Profiles I’ve seen lately include many comments as these:
-I don’t need a man, I want one.
-I have my life and you need yours too.
-I DO NOT need to be rescued.
-I want a partner, not a superior.
-I have my friends, you need yours too.
-I don’t cook and I won’t clean up your mess.
-I’m not your mom.
Your comment:
“Just as a woman dreams of being rescued, men also dream of rescuing”.
YES YES YES!!!! RESCUE ME FROM THE ORKS WE’VE BEEN TOLD ARE WOMEN!!! AAAARRRRGGGG!!!!
Sorry….I needed that. I’ll behave.
Rw you commented:
“Traditional Russian Ladies have a level of pride and honor (often to a fault) that would rather see themselves perish then to be labeled as desperate.”
I said:
“Russian Women are not looking to be rescued from their lives.”
Here’s a better-worded phrase, which needed to be to be corrected as you masterfully pointed out:
“Russian Women are not looking to be rescued from their lives of desperate poverty, hardship and harsh conditions, but they know that if they ARE “rescued” by an honorable, masculine man things will naturally be much better, balanced and complete.” “They will have children a family and love that will last a lifetime.”
rw_man, as I try to wrap my brain around this incredibly enjoyable study, am I right in saying, “Russian women intensely WANT to be rescued from a life of living alone, from a lack of manly protection, manly affection, manly friendship, manly intimacy for making babies and a sexual relationship. Russian women deeply understand that they must provide what the manly-man wants (Beauty, femininity, sensuality, loveliness, cooking, support…) so that she stands a better chance of being “rescued”? And that, “She refuses to let harsh conditions, limited financial resources or the bleak selection of local men lower her self-respect to the level of ‘Desperate or Needy”.
If you’re too busy to comment send me to more of your previous posts. This education is broader than I thought it would be.
Thanks,
-ken
Ken in short..
Yes if these women are “approached” by the right man (notice I didn’t say “find”) then there is a clear expectation on their part of moving the relationship towards marriage. And this is something I love about these women. There is no ambiguity.. no “it’s complicated” BS.. These women have absolute clarity with the direction that needs to be taken with a serious relationship.
Also.. I’m glad you are really “getting it” as far as language and words are concerned. Just be careful when you use the word “desperate poverty” because believe it or not 300 dollars a month is doing OK here. In fact I’ve done it myself for the first several years.. I treated it like an education and an adventure and I was never disappointed by it either.
The thing that everyone needs to understand about normal Russian people here is that things may not look pretty and in fact.. yes.. many things appear very broken down.. but guess what.. it often still works. Russians and people from the FSU have had to deal with 4 generations of Communism with very few consumer items available for the public. This has forced them to become quite resourceful and indeed in-genius in making things work.
So believe it or not.. the girl in my story and her mother are not in anyway near the “desperate poverty” line even if they do make collectively about 400 to 600 dollars a month.
Bottom line.. these people are tough, resilient, and in many ways ingenious in the ways they have adapted to their environment..
And yes that sure as hell makes the women all the more desirable.
BTW.. Yes I truly respect what guys like Alex Jones are doing. I just wish Aaron Russo was still around because his political exposes in film and tv have deeply moved me as well. If you are in with that crowd I would really appreciate if you turn them on to my site because I’m hitting it from what I think is a unique perspective and I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. Thanks..
“These women have absolute clarity with the direction that needs to be taken with a serious relationship.”
Hmmm, and all this WITHOUT feminism. Go figure.
rw_man I’m promoting your site but would like to do so in a bigger way. Consider my work environment. 250,000 passengers a day. Let’s just leave it at that. (Plausible deniability).
Your comment:
“I think is a unique perspective and I’m sure you know what I’m talking about”.
Definitely! There are very hard times coming. Masculine, honorable men will certainly be back in style! I wonder what the unemployed, homeless male-hating feminists are going to do in the event of an economic meltdown. Kill and skin a buck? They will still get attention from men. LOTS of men.
As you know the Patriot crowd is a rugged, tough-minded group. Yes I will help some of these men discover Russianwomentruth. I do feel bad for the married ones when they discover that their wives are virtually men, with boobs. Hopefully the wives come around and act like women again.
Frankly I like the idea of marrying a woman that was raised without any exposure to American style feminist ideology. Then there’s nothing to undo!
out of curiosity, what is your work, ken??
Wolverine,
I set up a business to do contract work primarily at Hartsfield Atlanta Airport, though I’m free to work wherever I want.
And you?
I do many things… The chief of which is running the family’s 3000 acre organic farm, and some friends and I are building a worldwide communications and IT company… I mostly do the hardware work. If they need a prototype of some kind of rack, or something built, I get a phone call….
If you want to know more of anything, leave me your email addy…
I don’t have permission from GL to tell more than that for now. I do believe that our communications products will help those who are looking for their other halves in russia… If GL gives permission, as more would sound like an add, I’ll tell more…
You’re in the right business Wolverine. I keep trying to grow organic veggies in a small garden and the deer, rabbits and squirrels eat everything from seed to grown plants.
Oops, wrong forum for this!
Do you have a spare anon email to put up here, because my only working one is my business email. Can’t put that on a public forum. I build cabinet prototypes for electronics as well.
You say:
“I do believe that our communications products will help those who are looking for their other halves in russia”.
Yup, we need to talk. rw, you there? (:
Wolverine and Ken,
I’m liking the sounds of this current discussion. Let me know whenever the need for someone with a lot of promotion, marketing and sales comes up. Many of us here have a common goal and I think it goes beyond simply meeting our own personal wants, needs and desires. Helping others to succeed in any venture allows us to succeed as well.
you can reach me at amosfella@hotmail.com.
Yes, I can use the marketing help. Most definitely…
I can explain more in a private email.
Please feel free to contact me, Richard.
rw,
Your last post just adds more power to the whole story. So few people appreciate the strength in everyday words and consequently misuse them or simply fail to realize what they are saying at times.
This inner strength of the people in the FSU would be enviable all by itself, but to add their level of humility as well just boggles the western mind. I can hardly recall more than a handful of young people on this continent who carry themselves with such class.
Truly amazing.
“Why did American feminism evolve in such a way that we think of biology as destiny, and that destiny as a prison? Why are we so willing to surrender the parts and processes that makes us female rather than demanding that society support them? We’ve broken down doors and cracked glass ceilings, when what we need to do is redesign the building.”
I thought you might appreciate some parts of this quote.
That’s a pretty interesting quote, Gillian. Doesn’t it seem funny that the “strides forward” with the feminist movement have left so many women still feeling so unfulfilled? There should be opportunity for those who choose change, but why did the feminist movement have to badger and condemn the women who were content, comfortable and happy with the status quo?
From this old fashion guy’s perspective, the ‘old building’ was designed pretty good.
I miss the family structure and values I saw growing up. It was what I assumed I would have for my life as an adult. It is all that I have ever wanted for my life, and now to show my daughter. Unfortunately, she is never going to see all of that first hand like I saw it as a child. That breaks my heart.
Wow it is a really great article.
When you all the time doing this you never think that it can be some another way.
But when I was spending winter in California, I was telling the god every day “thank you”
for this opportunity. After 20 years living in Siberia you appreciate sun and hot weather
every day!!!! And even when it is raining you never complain, because you know that in Siberia it is -40 C now.
Thank you for this article.
Hi Masha,
You know I honestly thought that Siberia was such a frozen wasteland that it was reserved mostly for prisoners as a form of punishment!! If I was told that anti-social, tough,rugged men lived there I would have accepted that. But to see such feminine, lovely, beautiful dolls living there (WITHOUT whining) just plain makes me feel stupid. I need to get out more!!!
I hate the cold,(+20F is cold to me), but I would be happy to freeze to death in the arms of one of you angels.
Haha…Just stand me up like a fence post until spring. I’ll be the only smiling fence post in Siberia!
Reminds me of somewhere I used to live that was very rural and poor, except we didn’t have the cold of Russia, just wind and rain.
One thing that can be said- don’t you appreciate coming home! I used to spend two hours travelling on buses getting back home then my mum would give me some hot chocolate and I felt like I was in heaven.
To appreciate what is good in life, we need to be able to compare it to what we have suffered through. To be born with all life’s luxuries doesn’t do you any good. It’s not called ‘spoilt’ for no reason. Learning, growing, surviving… this is what we are to do on this beautiful earth!
I hope all these Russian girls will get the lives they have dreamed of, and they will be all the more happier than spoilt American girls, who won’t notice their blessings.
My mother told me every night to thank God for 10 things that day- try it!
Your mother is a very intelligent woman, Bella. I think that thanking God for 10 things each night is a wonderful idea.
Western girls (and men as well) have had so much for so long that most of us take it all for granted. We wake up each morning knowing that the worst might be not having our first choice for dinner this evening.
As a boy on the farm, we were more thankful for even our meals and our house because we worked so much harder for it all.
Blessings to you and your mum.
I like to hear stories like this Bella. I wish we in America would or could enjoy more of the things that really matter, like having a loving Mom at home to create a warm, nurturing environment for her family.
It’s hard to believe millions of us have so deluded into thinking that your story would actually show your Mom as the “victim”, suppressed and forced into bondage. When she “Discovers” her “Victimhood”, the family can’t possibly survive.
Bella I hope you’re able to create that kind of heavenly atmosphere for your children. Unfortunately you have a society working against you, but you sound like you’ll find a way.
When something is done out of love it is never a burden or a bondage. I think this is the problem with Americanised culture today. That tells you that you shouldn’t do anything for anyone, that every man is an island. The community spirit is gone. And in fact the best thing for the soul is to turn it outwards, to other people, to care for those you love.
I find myself lucky that although I grew up in a Western country it wasn’t a materialistic, feminist or Americanised upbringing, so now I am an adult I can steer clear of those things, and I will make sure any children I have will have all the blessings I did. I do think I will have to move out of the UK now, though- times are changing, and nice places to raise children are becoming few and far between. As we are such a small island we get polluted quickly by any Americanism, or economic or political issues. My country looks very different to me than in did even recently. The place where I lived as a teenager didn’t even have a Macdonalds 10 years ago- not for 100 km!
I hope that you wake up the men in your life WITH this site, so that they will understand and appreciate what you want to bring to them and the family.
As crazy as it now sounds, I actually accepted (But resented) so much of the feminist ideology as “the way it is”. Not anymore! And I will NEVER look at the Orks we call women, or the dysfunctional families as acceptable again.
Why not try create a small circle of supportive, like-minded friends by getting together and reading over these forums? An easy “doorway” is to ask them what they think about it, or that you need their opinion.
Just a thought.
-Ken
Bella, your life analogies are powerful to me. In some ways I can relate to the comparisons that you draw between growing up in an area of modernized thinking but seemingly without many of the pitfalls we all know to exist there.
The small, rural community where I lived as a teenager was then, and in many ways still is today, one of the landlocked ‘islands’ of stubbornness against change. While I used to be offended by how backward it seemed to me in my youth, it is now that I look longingly to that tiny Midwestern burg as a possible refuge for raising my daughter.
As a boy, the closest thing to fast food was the A&W Root Beer stand where ‘car hops’ brought your order to the car and hung a tray on the driver’s window. It was only 10 or 12 years ago that a McDonalds appeared about a mile or two out of town, near the freeway. While it caught the attention of the community for a while, I noticed on our last few visits that almost all of the cars in the McDonalds parking lot belong to tourists and the A&W still feeds most of the locals that don’t feel like cooking on any given day.
It is also admirable that your intention when raising children is to instill those values that you learned in them; passing the blessings you knew to another generation.
Hi Richard.
I like reading your memories. I’ve always wanted to visit rural America. I don’t suppose you have visited Europe? I would be grateful for any advice on countries I should look at. I am planning to do my master’s degree in another country to test it out as such, then hopefully settle down there.
There have been so many changes around me even with my young age. How I spent my childhood sounds almost unbelievably twee- just running around the countryside as free as a bird, surrounded by real fruit trees which I took fruit home from as if it was nothing, swimming in the lake… that lake is now too polluted for people to swim in, parents are too scared to let their children play outside or eat any food that doesn’t come wrapped in plastic, kids today are choked on gadgets and stay inside all the time getting fat and angry.
Another thing worth a mention- growing up in my little bubble, parents were stricter on their children and expected them to grow up as respectable adults. If a girl couldn’t cook, had no manners, etc., she was showing her family up, publicly demonstrating that she had bad parents who couldn’t raise their kids properly, and she would never be able to look after a family herself or get a good husband. It was just awful, unthinkable. And bad behaviour around others was completely forbidden, you wouldn’t catch us feeling free to run and scream and jump round my mother’s friend’s houses, going crazy ‘cos I’m just a kid’, I had to be good and quiet and occupy myself by drawing pictures or something. When I go to mass on a sunday now, even in church children are playing with cars and hitting each other and shouting. My partner made some sort of annoyed noise once and the mother glared at him as if to say, ‘these are children, you can’t put rules on children!’ It’s healthier for everyone if kids know they DON’T come first, mummy and daddy and other adults come first. That was my definite place in my life and that of all my friends. This was only about 15 years ago, how can things have changed so much?
This is turning into another rant! I love this site, thank you for giving me somewhere to share my thoughts on all this.
Bella,
Thanks for the nice thoughts, I also enjoy your experience and perspective.
To be honest, I don’t think that what you’ve said about children and discipline was a rant. Of course that might be because I agree so much with what you are saying.
I was raised in a place and time where an inappropriate comment or speaking up out of turn would earn children a swift slap to the face. Though I have never agreed with that particular form of punishing children, the simple reality is that kids in my part of the world learned respectful behavior very early in life and for the most part are respectful adults today.
I am fortunate enough to work with various groups of children through our church and I have occasionally seen the type of misbehavior you speak of, as well some of the parents criticisms when others try to correct it. It is as hard for me to understand the parents allowing their kids to act out, as it is for those parents to understand why I feel that I should put a stop to it whenever it happens.
I also agree firmly that children must understand their place in all social dynamics.
Today after I picked my daughter up from her overnight slumber party we went to a lunch with some church friends. As it turned out, my daughter was the only child there and she was quickly bored. A couple of times she walked over to lean against me and sigh loudly. I excused us and took her to another room, told her to sit down, then I explained that her overnight birthday party left her tired but that it was not an excuse to interrupt everyone else. Also that punishing her would make her weekend go from fun to frustration quickly so she was to sit in the chair until I said she could come back with the rest of us. I checked on her in a few minutes and she was sleeping.
To me, children want constant attention and to get it they will sometimes misbehave thinking that it is the quickest way to get noticed. But if the rules are clear and firm from the very beginning, they will generally only ‘test’ those rules from time to time, and usually only when some sort of distraction (lack of sleep, boredom, desire to get somewhere, etc) takes them out of their clear thinking mode.
In those situations, any of us can only be as good of parents as we know how to be based mostly on what we saw as children. By having a very strict father, my goal was to never have my children live in fear of punishment, but rather understand and respect the rules we all must live by.
As we were leaving our lunch today my daughter apologized for fussing in front of our friends and when we got home, we cuddled on the couch watching a movie.
I surely feel blessed with a smart and well behaved little girl but I do take some credit for always being open and honest with her and also letting her know that rules of behavior are unchanging and must be followed at any age.
Bella,
I’m sorry for forgetting to respond to your question about other countries I’ve visited.
It might be that my perspectives are somewhat limited because my trips have always been faster or shorter than I would have liked.
London and southern England was a trip I would do again any time. I like the variety of people who all call themselves “Brits”. Just crossing the city there are noticeable subcultures even before the racial and ethnic differences are added. In one part of London a person you don’t know might ask if you are going to finish the last few chips on your plate, while 5 kilometers away you wouldn’t be allowed to share part of your meal with your partner. Also, the level of friendliness changes within different parts of the city. Shopping was much more fun than I expected, for some reason. The ‘tube’ was wonderful for getting around and cab drivers seemed willing and able to pop off historical tid-bits at a moment’s notice. I also loved trying to follow dialects and slang from area to area around southern England.
Paris was a day trip for me but not one I would want to try again unless I was attached at the hip to a local person. The word ‘helpful’ doesn’t seem to translate into French for many outsiders, and being American cut my chances at courtesy dramatically.
Rome is an amazing place for history and culture, as is every other part of Italy that I saw. Outstanding food anywhere you go and we found friendly people wherever we stopped. However, Rome is also the car theft capitol of the world and rental cars are listed by their company as stolen before you even make the police report. The explanation I got was, “You should have parked where the company recommended”. Driving isn’t bad in the countryside but the streets of Rome are a dangerous place for slow reflexes or weak constitutions.
Other stops I’ve made in Europe were too short to see or do anything outside of meetings or commitments.
One place in the world that I think everyone should try to visit is Hong Kong. That is the most diverse area I’ve seen and for young women, it is a shopping ‘dream come true’. European designer’s have manufactured their lines there for decades and so have all of the knock off artists. Yet the quality of brand name ‘seconds’ and non brand name first run clothing for women is incredible. The average working girl in downtown Hong Kong City looks like she’s just stepped off the runway and by world standards, the clothes they are wearing come cheap. When I was last there the exchange was 8 HK dollars to 1 US dollar and even at par, their clothing was still less expensive than I could find the same thing for in the states. I was amazed at the prices. What’s more, there are hundreds of places to buy ‘seconds’ which are virtually indistinguishable from the items which shipped. A woman at a factory outlet store showed me how tiny of a flaw it took to discount a piece of clothing and I thought she was kidding. (I got an $80 long sleeve silk blouse for $7 US because there was a barely visible flaw smaller than a finger nail clipping on the back near the waist) There were many other things I enjoyed about HK and food was near the top, but outside of Europe, that would be my first choice for an interesting place to study while traveling.
And to be honest, I think that traveling rural America is a great way to see and understand what makes us Yankees tick. The farm country, the small towns, light industrial cities and open highways tend to sing a certain tune of values and pride that is fast becoming lost to all of time. Small town people in mid America are a little strange by world standards, but they care about each other and if you win them over, you are part of the family for life.
Any place is a good place if you get there with an open heart and an open mind.
My state is not a real big and I live also in the midwest or what other people will call the great plains (sadly not the real midwestern parts such as Wyoming). However, I feel the rural south and rural midwest has had alot of changes to it and most of them forced on the magority. I have to agree that the rural community has not been know to accept change. And of course those politcaly liberal like to mock this.
RW_man, whose photo is that? SHe looks angelic.
One day in the life of Ivana Denisovna.
Test
Test back
I can’t help but feel like this is dramatized a bit. Not that all of this isn’t true. But it really isn’t that bad. I mean this isn’t such a terrible life. The toilets and toilet paper are bad, the food is good but all the same, all the stores are repeats of each other, and the buses are not spacious. But it isn’t as if any of these things are going to kill you. I’ve only been here for a month, but my lady has me living more or less like a local.
My mother always used to say “it builds character.” The locals don’t think of their lives as hard, and they would understand neither foreign admiration nor foreign pity.
The day you describe is, to me, preferable to a life with a Suburban and a beemer in the garage of a ranch house in a fringe Atlanta subdivision. That is the definition of soul crushing.
Cody,
You said:
“The day you describe is, to me, preferable to a life with a Suburban and a beemer in the garage of a ranch house in a fringe Atlanta subdivision. That is the definition of soul crushing”.
Being in Atlanta for the last 20 years I concur that this place is exhausting to live in. “Country folk” can’t imagine how it sucks the life out of you when a 25 mile drive can take 1-2 hours to drive because of brutal traffic. I pass by no less than 20 traffic cops (and dozens of “Law enforcement” video cameras) a day eagerly waiting for an excuse to earn money for their bosses by writing us tickets. We earn plenty of money but the system leeches it out with amazing efficiency even if you try to be frugal.
Families are a disaster, our educational system is horrendous, crime is everywhere but who cares?? We have big, beautiful buildings, millions of pretty, flashy lights, 24-hour Walmarts and two financed cars in every over-priced house!!
You know Cody…-40C and the “Hard life” is looking better every day!
“The day you describe is, to me, preferable to a life with a Suburban and a beemer in the garage of a ranch house in a fringe Atlanta subdivision. That is the definition of soul crushing.”
I can’t help but think that it apparently doesn’t take much to crush your soul then
Ok, be honest now Hazel. Are we really just spoiled???
I’ll just cower as I wait for the response. ):
Well… I certainly think it makes very little sense to on the one hand admire and praise Russian women for their fortitude and grace in overcoming harsh conditions and on the other hand just giving up and apparently not really feeling that living in conditions you would consider be “soul crushing” is the perfect chance to develop those qualities in yourself and strengthen your soul in the process.
If it is a noble challenge in Russia to make a welcoming home out of a tiny appartment, why is the challenge not equally noble in an Atlanta subdivision?
If being hardworking is meaningful in Russia, is it not equally meaningful in Atlanta, even if you’re just one of the crowd? You mention the traffic you have to go through… Why is hassle of that not comparable to the long trip our semi-fictional Russian girl has to go through? Yet the point of this whole story is that she nevertheless stays soulful where you apparently find it soul crushing.
Apart from that, it seems to me that there are plenty of ways to find meaning in your life from a “ranch house in a fringe Atlanta subdivision”. Plenty of ways to channel your spirit into something good and beautiful. You could pour your energy into making a magical garden. You could get involved with charity. Write a book. I don’t know, all sorts of things!
Lastly, if I was looking for a husband then I would probably be a little put off by statements of this kind that seem to communicate that he doesn’t really want stability and predictability. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t be willing to move to different countries with him or go backpacking or whatevet. But I would want someone who is able to “sit still” and whose soul is not so easily crushed
Wow, what a humbling answer. BTW the smiley face helped ease the pain. You’re a sweetheart.
May I redeem myself? I won’t dismiss the chastisement about whining. You’re right.
“Soul Crushing” isn’t a term I’d used, but exhausting is more of my experience. Tiring and frustrating would fit as well but not overwhelming. “Sucking the life” was a bad choice of dramatic words.
You helped me take inventory and realize that I have been in this city working and living successfully for nearly 30 years so I must have developed enough character and fortitude to adapt. I occasionally vent but overall I’m known as a perpetual optimist, even through many extremely difficult tragedies and setbacks. I love my life, but I’m ambitious enough to seek and strive for the changes to make it even better, rather than just enjoy the status quo and settle for mediocrity. Even in this stressful environment I created a company from nothing and invent tool systems for a hobby. Leading my life where I want it to go as a single parent with no help for 14 years, with very limited time has been a tremendous undertaking, which still hasn’t dampened my spirits. Man, I feel quite good about my soulfulness.
I do enjoy clowning around and discuss going to Siberia but my work is here, so I imagine extended trips back to Siberia or Russia for family would be more realistic. So just as my wife would probably want to keep me from freezing to death or sticking my tongue to a flag pole, I would want to remove discomforts and dangers on my end as well. I guess this could be “Channeling my spirit into something good and beautiful”. Thanks again!
As for “plenty of ways to find meaning in your life”. My thoughts?
Atlanta does have many, many things to do. Great activities, I garden, cycle, go to museums, swim, fish, nurture good friendships etc. but it doesn’t give anywhere the depth of meaning and purpose that a good relationship with a good woman brings.
This is my reason for becoming discontent with certain aspects of our Westernized, feminist saturated society. (This does not justify the childish whining of mine). Feminism in America contaminates families. It helps produces rude, disrespectful children.
So a man bringing a FSU woman into this culture may very well end up with a Westernized, feminized woman as many American men are warning us about. Women have a hard time resisting the “Glories” of Feminism. Why seek an international marriage? To NOT be with a Feminist.
Thus NOT staying in a city such as Atlanta is about more than traffic or crowds. It’s about proactively preserving the relationship. Sounds like wise leadership to me.
I still think you’re a sweetheart and I’m not saying anything to be rude.
So when you say,”I would want someone who is able to “sit still”.” perhaps he’s interested in creating an environment where he feels your marriage stands that best chance of not being so heavily influenced by bad cultural beliefs, even if it means abandoning his homeland. Maybe he IS sitting still. But he knows it’s not a good place when he is joined by a family. He may be demonstrating courage and strength, not weakness.
As for making the place where you are a haven; it is certainly doable in Atlanta, but having lived here for a long time, it would add more burdens than are necessary. It would put a very heavy burden on my wife and children. I know plenty of families struggling with issues involving the anti-family, immoral and harmful influences.
The environment is very easy to deal with, but our culture is nearly impossible.
Thank you for helping me realize how well I’ve handled it all, and in stride too!!
Yes you definitely rattled some common sense into my head and allowed me to see that I was, in fact whining.(How do you make the blushing face?)
I just printed your comment and put it on my fridge! I needed that.
2-hours in an air-conditioned car vs what the lady does. Haha it’s official. My head does fit you know where!
Thanks Hazel,
-Ken
Clearly I failed to communicate what I meant by soul crushing.
I meant two cars in every garage..
All chasing after the same dream manufactured by auto industry lobbied highways and subsidized loans on McMansions identically sitting all in a row and destined to fall to pieces in 20 years.
I meant false facades of prosperity while families suffer from seas of debt and never realize low interest rates and federal housing policy encourages them to dive deeper.
I meant the individual soul gets crushed by seas of conformity and an absolute inability of the next generation to look beyond their fathers’ generation and realize that America hasn’t always been this way.
I meant that life in a place I describe gets so isolated in its sameness that the products of these environments are immeasurably dissociated with the other world around them, unable to understand anything that does not fit in to the little box that’s been their reality. Unable to understand that America was never destined to develop this ways and that there are reasons it has.
And that these reasons are power and money.
Living in Chicago, the next class coming to college is always full of suburban trust fund babies who are absolutely afraid of any part of the city that isn’t full of Targets and Wal-marts. It’s genuinely sad to see young people afraid of the life that theirs were built on, afraid of any part of America that retains some smidgeon of diversity and culture. My university is near an African American neighborhood full of old mansions and vacant lots. My peers are oblivious to the history and heritage around them, oblivious to the urban diversity and activity.
In four years they will return to the suburbs and live in their parents’ house with hopes of landing a tech job designing complex circuitry. They will talk their whole lives about how they were once on the South side of Chicago on the green line, and some black dude passed them, kicked them and yelled, “What the —- you doin in my hood, you cracker ass white boy!”
It’s sad, it’s terribly, terribly sad, and if that’s not “soul crushing” then you tell me what is.
Great point Hazel, regarding the difference between real hardship and hardship perceived while living in relative comfort. But I think that this is a huge reason for admiring people from countries outside of NA.
We have so much here that our bad day has to do with being stuck in traffic for an extra 20 minutes more than usual. Here we get upset that we can’t buy a bigger house when 4,000 sq. ft. seems cramped even though it is only cramped by our over indulgence in needless consumerism.
When I list my complaints and sorrows at the end of the day, it is usually followed by a much longer list of things I am truly thankful for.
I got your meaning even though it may have sounded like ‘the good life’ wasn’t good enough. By further explaining it the way you just have, I think many of us can relate to the frustration you feel.
When I was your age, my idealistic ravings about the direction our country was going in, were viewed by most people as some mild form of clinical insanity. Take some comfort in knowing that this is one situation which will never change. Most of your peers may think you’re a nut bar, but you are right. Our nation is crawling with those ‘suburban trust fund babies’ and several other levels of entitlement thinkers. It does suck the life out of a clear thinking individual to be surrounded by such a mire of negativity and mediocrity. Finding a way to change your circumstances based on the strong feelings you have about your surroundings is just good thinking.
When I left that part of the country I was not much older than you are now. I hit Seattle knowing of only 2 things about my ‘new home’. Seattle was where the Space Needle was and I used to watch a TV show called Here Come the Brides which was about the pioneering days of that region. Beyond those two things I wouldn’t have been able to say for sure if the locals rode horses and spoke in some native tongue.
But after a couple of years not working steadily in Wisconsin and Illinois, and having no chance to move up beyond factory flunky or farm boy if I could find regular employment, it took only 4 days to get a job offer on the coast, without even asking for one, and it was in my chosen field. Any unemployment from that day until now has been entirely by choice.
A change of venue can very easily be a change of life. If you are in an area where you feel that few if any people share your way of thinking, it is in your personal best interest to get away as quickly as you can. In a day or two you can find a city or region which better suits your personal beliefs. Associate with like minded individuals so that you can keep your core beliefs intact. Support and be supported, but never lose your objectivity or flexibility.
This is a repeat. I’m hoping for any input specifically from the ladies if you don’t mind.
Thanks.
I enjoy the thought provoking nature of this site, but never imagined for a moment that I would be a good candidate for a 20′s woman who wants a new family. I have too much wisdom to play that game even if an eager-to-marry young lady may feel that the age difference is acceptable. I’m a very young 45, and I don’t really think a 25 year old lady understands just how old 45 is.
Up to 10 years younger, in my mind is as big of an age difference as I can see (For me), primarily because so many women my age act as is they’re ready for an old-folks home. I’m sorry but I’m just warming up for life, NOT retiring. Would I like a young 20′s sweety in my arms? Ummm hell yes, comes to mind, if I may be honest. Maybe it’s a guy thing.
But I know I could offer a MUCH better life to an older woman that has older children, wisdom, experiences, an appreciation of what I offer, and she would be highly motivated to make the relationship work, just as I would.
Therefore…I hope to badger the (30′s)divorced, widowed (just so you didn’t do it) ladies WITH children (You don’t want more) sitting on the sideline to give us “older guys” an understanding of what you need, want of hope for in a “N/A” man. How could we be a blessing to your family, as opposed to just you?
I have my popcorn so I’m ready! C:
-Ken
I’m 25, so can’t really help you
OMG your just a baby!!! (:
That made me feel soooo old.
I can’t resist piling on. I’m all of 21.
Hey, Ken, you aren’t helping a guy bearing down on 50-years-old at all.
Hazel is 25, but I think she has the perspective of an old guy like you. Hehehe!
Haha sorry about that Sam. A great mind named Napoleon Hill studied human success for 25 years and concluded that men rarely if ever, do anything significant in their lives BEFORE the age of 45! Friend, we’re just warming up!!
I’m so completely comfortable with my age and getting older. A friend of mine has a Mom that I enjoy talking to that helps me keep it all in perspective. She is 97 and still drives her car around Atlanta. She discusses complex issues as if a college student as well. She calls 65 year olds children!
To her I’m a baby! She’s happy to be 97 because those that are 105 have been dead a while.
Life is so enjoyable I’m not going to act like the Hollywood crowd that can’t accept physical aging with dignity. I’m determined to gain so much wisdom and understanding that those around me will never tire of my company, just like the 97 year old lady. By the way, she is a beautiful example of a feminine, poised and dignified lady. I’d take her out to dinner any day.
For me, I find that a very deep belief that my life is being governed by a loving creator God allows a few gray hairs and wrinkles to seem so insignificant. I’m here for a purpose and my body is designed to handle that purpose, and the the tasks I’m to handle adjust with my age.
Oh I do fight it with brutal workouts, miles of walking, swimming, a great diet etc, but I’m not 25 and really don’t want to be. I really like my wisdom and understanding. I work hard to have so much to bring to the table that a loving, feminine lady, say around 35, would feel blessed to be with this young 45 yr old.
21 and 25 are VERY, very young, and that isn’t taking anything away from their intellect, education, maturity or experiences.
But having BEEN 21 and 25 and 35 and 45…I can say 21 and 25 is MILES away from 45, unless you vegetate and stop growing. Then when you’re 45 you won’t have any more wisdom or understanding than you do now.
I see plenty of 45 yr olds with no vision or passion in their eyes, only recycle bits of useless news and comfortable over-used habits.
Richard mentioned that his 45yr old EX acts like a kid would in High School. My 45 yr old ex is also a childish yet OLD 45. Many people my age are very uneducated, unwise, lack understanding, have warped views of the world around them and just won’t try to improve themselves.
I haven’t watched TV since 1985 unless I’m stuck where a TV is on. Why would I?? I’m too busy living. Besides TV is a horrible intellectual diet. Oh I know, “I just watch the weather and the discovery channel”, my deluded, intellectually lazy friends always say (Which is a lie) as they slowly ruin their health and lose any desire for experiencing life.
They look bad physically and act like old people, afraid to climb a tree or go skating with the kids, or learn some new languages.
Getting older isn’t the same as acting old. I refuse to act old. THAT’S a choice, aging isn’t. Gaining wisdom, maturity and character ISN’T automatic. (I don’t claim to be qualified to lecture, I’m just ranting).
BTW for some reason God never removes an “Older guys” fascination with the beauty of a feminine young lady. So ladies please forgive us if we stare! If you knew how nice you look, you’d understand. (:
-Ken
Excellent,Ken, excellent. You are much wiser than I thought you were, a doggone sage for an Atlanta boy!!!
I do hope you find that girl, because I want to sing at your wedding. If Richard will join in, we’ll do a nice hymn, classical, country, DISCO, or rock number or anything else you desire. Maybe Hazel can play the violin or something. Hey, I was thinking about something like “We Are Family”. What do you think?
Very true, Ken, every bit of it.
Sam, I’ve gone a bit baritone over the years so I hope we need a bass vocal in this choir. There must be some Beatles tune that would fit our purpose, or maybe the Animals or Rolling Stones.
Oh boy this may get me in trouble but the Rolling Stones, the Beatles and Sister Sledge are a liiiiittle bit before my time.
Now I CAN relate with REO, Styx, Blondie, Boston and even the pinky-wagging Rod Stewart.
Hey for all you youtherlings here’s a great older song. Very touching.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MKJin92wx8
Youtherlings? Yes, I just invent a word.
Reminisce gentlemen! C:
-Ken
Okay, Ken, since you were just opening your eyes for the first time at the beginning of the British invasion, I’ll give ya’ a little break on my “oldies” groups.
I saw Rod Stewart with the Faces when he still looked like a kid, and I still was one.
I’m right there with REO, STYX and Boston, though. And that’s a great song that you linked.
“youtherlings”
Cool word. I’ll have to see where I can use that in my writing.
Boston A Man I’ll Never Be Lyrics
If I said what’s on my mind
You’d turn and walk away
Disappearing way back in your dreams
It’s so hard to be unkind
So easy just to say
That everything is just the way it seems
You look up at me
And somewhere in your mind you see
A man I’ll never be
If only I could find a way
I’d feel like I’m the man you believe I am
And it gets harder every day for me
To hide behind this dream you see
A man I’ll never be
I can’t get any stronger
I can’t climb any higher
You’ll never know just how hard I’ve tried
Cry a little longer
And hold a little tighter
Emotions can’t be satisfied
You look up at me
And somewhere in your mind you see
A man I’ll never be
If only I could find a way
I’d feel like I’m the man you believe I am
And it gets harder every day for me
To hide behind this dream you see
A man I’ll never be
(scholz)
It is a great song, Ken, and the message is something to think about. What would this world be without music?
That is a nice song. Sadly todays songs are not very good. Sometimes I wonder if about what it would be like to be a teen in the 60s or 70s. I also wished I could have experienced the 80s as a teen for some reason. My teen years were experienced in the 90s. Interesting anything based on the 70s clothes and jewelery was very popular then. Things have changed of course even in the 90s the ability to play an instrument was important. Can’t say that nowdays though. I am 29 years old. Hazel did you experience any of the 1990s as a teen? I am assuming you able to.
Hi, Westerngirl, how are you? Hopefully Hazel will not mind—–I am like a proud uncle or something—but have you checked out the picture she posted at her blog today? Wow! She looks great and the red coat is gorgeous. Red is really becoming on the majority of you girls!
The music was fabulous in those days. I really liked the R&B groups of that era, too. Earth, Wind and Fire’s “Let’s Groove Tonight”, The Isley Brother’s “Who’s That Lady” and dozens more were enjoyed by a totally integrated bunch of young folks in my region.
I’m with you Sam on Hazel’s red coat with the simple black dress. Great look. (by the way Hazel, I like your taste in shoes, too)
I heard someone mention shoes and coat and I came running! Ha! Hazel, I hadn’t realized you had a site! What beautiful pictures of your country and your outfits! Love the Vivienne Westwood shoes! (I shouldn’t know that, but I spend far too much time “studying” fashion!) I will keep checking back for more!
On a side note, I keep toying with the idea of starting a blog with pictures of feminine outfits that I put together if nothing more than to just inspire other ladies to embrace their feminine side! I have a new laptop with a camera, so I’ve been snapping shots everyday–yikes! I don’t know I might be too shy…maybe I’ll just leave that to the Russian ladies!
Sigh…
Anna,
I don’t know designers but I appreciate nice shoes. Hazel’s red and pink hearts tie the outfit up nicely with the black stockings.
Those Terra Plana’s with the laces at the toe are pretty darn cute, too, in my opinion.
Richard, you do have a nice sense of fashion, don’t you? I can tell! Yes, I do drool over designers, but I am not a snob about it. At this time in my life I really can’t afford them anyway and get most of my clothes at thrift stores/consignment shops and make my own “designer” outfits! Many of my outfits from head to toe probably cost less than $10!
Anna,
I dearly love and respect every woman that can see fashion as a creative endeavor for personal expression. The fact that some gals are forced by circumstance to make or procure their look and style on a shoestring budget is all the more appealing to me.
When I worked shooting models there were many times that I was more impressed by the clothes the girls wore to the studio than what they were to be photographed in.
Thrift stores are a gold mine of fashion even if something you buy there is only the base for building an entirely different item or outfit. Thank God some ladies ignore the ignorant old stigmas about ‘where’ their clothing was purchased.
Let me know when your blog opens. I’ll be watching.
Richard, I love how you write! You always sound so gracious–like a true gentleman! There’s a lucky woman out there!
Thank you for all of the kind words. I’m in agreement with you that it is always nice to see women (and men) express themselves through fashion rather than trying to look like an exact replica of everyone else.
I myself am a huge fan of thrift stores! I have a friend who always says, “Oh, you look nice…where did you get that?!” I say, “The thrift store.” The next thing I always hear is “Ewww!” which always makes me laugh. After working years in retail, however, I can tell you “new” clothes have been tried on sometimes hundreds of times before purchase, so there really isn’t that much difference between the thrift store and a “new” store except for the price!
That is wonderful that you are an accomplished photographer! You must have so many great stories about what goes on behind the scenes with the models, etc. I’m afraid I’m probably the last human being in the developed world to use a disposable camera! I’m slowly becoming more tech-savvy.
Ok, so the pressure’s on. I’ll try to put some thoughts together for a blog:) A skilled photographer and model I am not…so maybe I will ask you for some advice!
Do take care, Richard!
What a surprise to wake up to all those compliments! Thank you everbody!
Westerngirl,
I was 13 in 1998, so yes, a little bit.
Anna,
I say do it! I’d love to see your outfits!
Thank you, Hazel! I will at least consider it then!
Hazel,
I’m glad Sam explained how to get to your blog. I didn’t want to ask.
Though I couldn’t identify a “Pump” or a “Terra Plana” in a line up, I do know what looks good and you look adorable! You’re a beautiful lady.
Oh yeah…the clothes look great too!
-Ken
Hello Sam I am doing good. It is to hear from you. How are you doing? Hazel has a good sense of fashion. I will have to look at her blog again. I think she posted a link to it on this website somewhere. But I have seen pictures that she posted and know she wears great outfits. My sister is a year older then her. I will have to look at the bands you listed.
I am doing great, Westerngirl. It’s amazing how much better an outdoorsman feels at 80 some degrees F versus 90 some degrees F.
) It is simply gorgeous here in North Carolina today.
Of course, you can just click on Hazel’s name in the comment just above yours to go to her blog. Hazel understands this to a fault(and you do, too), but if I could tell young women anything(from the perspective of an older guy), it is that one doesn’t need to resort to outlandish clothing and behavior to express her uniqueness and individuality. Of course, it is equally important to understand that one doesn’t need to conform to some widely accepted and supported concept of beautiful and attractive to garner attention either. As all the wise say, “Be true and be you, and good things will follow”. It’s a real pleasure to know you girls that understand that.
I hope you will listen to those songs. The list of music I don’t like is very, very short, so I could list favorites for you for hours. My hope is that music has brought you as much joy as it has me.
Sam, I like the fact the weather is cooling down some. I heard about huricane Earl and that if touched some of North Carolina. I saw the picture Hazel took. Yes, it is a great outfit and classy. The red coat is nice. I like the outfit and would go as far to say it is a good outfit to wear not only in public but nice enough to wear at an interview for example. I will get back to you on the songs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq9_XoSjzzA
Hi Westerngirl,
The link above will take you to the song “Trail of Tears” by Eric Johnson. I love the artist and the song.
Thanks for the link on youtube. That song was nice.
I am really glad you took the time to listen to the song, Westerngirl. There are some clear parallels between the historical atrocities of Russia and the United States. Though they were removed in two to three different blocks, the song you listened to recounts the forced removal of 14,000 Cherokee Indians from their ancestral homelands in the Appalachian Mountains of the Carolinas and Georgia. The Indians were first housed in stockades and then in the winter of 1838-39 marched some 1,200 miles to Oklahoma. Some 4,000 Indians died enroute due to starvation, disease and exposure. The Indians called the trail, “The place where they cried”. It later became known as the Trail of Tears.
Though they have been romantacized and idealized and their internal and external skirmishes minimized through time, the Cherokee were undoubtedly great stewards of the land, and they had an almost supernatural respect for all living things. Despite our best efforts, we modern folks leave a huge footprint in the natural world. Our activities have created severe imbalances and the results of such distortions are painfully clear.
Excuse the translation error: Cherokee call this trail Nunna-da-ul-tsun-yi, meaning “The Place Where They Cried.”
One last thing about the video, Westerngirl: Eric Johnson wears that band jacket from time to time in homage to Jimi Hendrix, one of his primary musical influences. Eric and the late Stevie Ray Vaughn, both Texans, are(were)quick to acknowledge musicians whose shoulders they stand on. Stevie’s influences included a host of lesser known black musicians and he sung their praises constantly. That pleases me to no end, and I am proud that two Southern men of my generation are/were big enough and gracious enough to do so.
Hello Westerngirl,
I think you got the better deal. Have you even SEEN an 8-track? (Sam and Richard turn the other way) Haha try going to a friends house with a portable record player and records, which skip and make static as they get scratched.
The cassette players put out a LOT of static and an irritating HISSSSSSSS. The sound was nothing like it is today, and as a teen, you likely couldn’t afford a big collection of music. Try finding your favorite song on a cassette. Fast forward…rewind…flip the cassette over.
Music videos were on TV in the 80′s, but TV’s had terrible sound, and MOM wouldn’t let you crank the volume because you blew the last 4 sets of speakers and put the cat on Prozac.
The “portable” headsets we terrible and, brace yourself…NO YouTube!!
You youtherlings, on the other hand, can listen to all of the classics with crystal clear sound for free (you criminal), and add video to them, send them to anyone you want (like fellow criminals), and take 5 million songs with you in your POCKET! Now THAT is cool!!!
Dear, even though we had funky clothes, hair and behavior, which I miss terribly and our parents cried about, …you really got the best of both worlds!! Just don’t do the tattoo thing. That fashion statement kinda sticks with you.
As usual, that’s just my unsolicited opinion. C:
-Ken
Ken,
Have you been following the recording industry and their return to producing high quality vinyl?
Some music aficionados are tired of the sterile sounding CDs, sighting the ‘lack of distinguishable character’ in the recordings. I totally agree that something about digital recording process leaves the music “too” perfect.
After a lifetime of photography, I am the same way with digital imagery. I vastly prefer my film cameras for tactile reality over the hospital cleanliness which digital offers.
I think it’s actually sad for the younger people who will likely never see or know the difference between truly capturing a sight or sound verses just digitally ‘copying’ it.
I haven’t heard. “Distinguishable character?” I’m one of those people that can’t distinguish, say, vocals from a violin in music. I don’t have an ear tuned to music like you guys. Thank God for karaoke YouTube clips!!
Being a music connoisseur you would probably appreciate listening to Emily Bear play the piano, or Connie Talbott sing.
I don’t want to be plastering links up here, but these two angels left me speechless, but I imagine a “music person” would be floored.
Photography is a great hobby. I don’t have any appreciable skills with it but I try to capture moments and images as best I can.
Do you have any images published online?
I am as awe struck by kids like Emily and Connie as you are, Ken. I watch these two and others like them in stunned silence. Anyone who remembers struggling through music lessons as a child has to wonder how so much talent can just ‘appear’ in some kids. And to top it off they are still these innocent little people that tend to act just like their peers at times.
The bits I’ve heard about Sony and a few others building state of the art facilities for producing ‘archive vinyl’ have been popping up more recently. There is a difference, albeit a small one for most of us, between ‘mastering’ techniques in the recording industry. Not understanding the technical side of it all that well, I think that the digital equipment removes extra steps in the process, which increases quality from ‘master’ to ‘working’ to ‘retail’ copies of the music. As I understand it, the old tape to metal to vinyl process lost clarity and picked up extraneous sounds with each of those generations. That was one reason that the real stuffy purest record collectors were always searching for European pressings from some of the smaller producers. Less production meant better quality records.
So the buzz now is that many people miss that less than perfect sound and because the companies can utilize some of the new technology in making the old style of product, we might be able to get the best of both worlds.
The way that this connects to my photography is that I see digital images as something like a copy machine. Something two dimensional is copied onto something else that is two dimensional. It may be an oversimplification of the thought but I feel that the digital images lack depth and body just as digital recordings lack the occasional audio aberration. In both cases the result may be ‘better’ but it has lost its character.
In the old days of film photography, most pros worked with transparencies rather than negatives for crisper, clearer image quality. The problem was that to make a print, you would have to take a picture of your transparency and then print from the negative. Good photographers had the process down to an art when along came direct printing from the transparencies with a whole new set of challenges. As that new technology was refined to its pinnacle, we entered computer enhanced imagery and soon after that we were on to digital photography.
Well now, as with revisiting vinyl records, we are also finding that we may have walked away from our old reliable film just a few moments too soon.
Adding the new knowledge and technology to the old base gives us a level of quality we didn’t know we could reach before and the added benefit of product longevity that we once enjoyed.
While there are many world class photographers that have completely ditched their film gear, and are making very good livings after those changes, in my personal opinion, the level of sophistication and maturity of the consumer is lower overall.
Most people see a powerful image and take it at face value. That’s fine. But comparing the image quality of an Adams, Avedon or Leibovitz print to any of the modern ‘masters’ of photography would be unfair.
Surely the photographers that I’ve mentioned are the top of the top, but their equipment and the film medium allowed for and required contemplation of their art and together those factors produced timeless images.
As far as my work appearing on the internet, it is mostly my stubborn resistance of the technology mixed with the fact that many of my originals are long gone, but I’ve never tried to find a place in cyberspace for my stuff. To be honest most of what I do now is more for me than for any customer so I’m more content to stay with the process of creating.
And I am pretty far from the thread topic now so I better leave it there.
My dad had some 8 tracks and some records. As a kid and teen cassettes were around but CD’s came out and replaced them real fast. I had a walkman (my parents handed down to me). I remember also turning the cassette after all the songs played. That may explaine why my sister was more determine to move to CDs (you don’t have to turn them over. later on a portable CD player (the bad thing is you had to be careful walking or the CD would skip). I do like my ipod and think it is meets the list of best modern electronics invented. Looking back in the 90s the interent and computers have come along way. I understand there were computers in the 80s (Maybe I can google some picture to see how big they look). Dvds are nice. It is interesting to see how the image is different on vhs vs dvds. Yes, we have clear images and clear music but I do not like modern musicians such as Lady Gaga (for example). Well I better stop. I will soon post a good review concerning the article. P.s. I do not plan on getting a tatto. Funny how now people are lining up and paying to have them removed.
Richard,
While listening to the song Ken linked, I jotted down some points where I thought your baritone contribution would be just lovely. We’ll have to study the lyrics posted above and prepare for our contribution to the weddding to come. I’m hoping Rw_man and his gorgeous bride can do some interpretive dancing for us. Since Russia is synonymous with classical ballet and prima ballerinas, it would be most appropriate to include a dance in the ceremony.
Better yet Richard and Sam, how about multiple weddings!
If GL takes the pictures they will be the only wedding albums with nothing but beautiful ladies in it, not a man to be seen except for part of an arm he couldn’t photoshop out.
Well gentlemen…you in?
RW_MAN
I have read this article about “A day in the Life of a Russian Girl” part 1 and i must say that it may appear grim existance when we compare to what we know in the west however they or she may not know anything different as this is what they or she is accustomed to.For someone like me and my proffession the iron curtain as it was formerly known has been of interest to me such that i wish to learn more and when i recollect from my time in the Balkans there is a striking similarity to aspects of this article.I wonder if the girl who i think is stunning by the way in the picture used for this article is the girl you have wrote about because i think if the oppurtunity arose where she could improve her situation would she take it or remain faithfull to the life she knows.
I admire Russian women greatly, far more than the typical Western woman. I mean, to live every day with such will, and the ability to take pleasure from the simple yet truly good aspects of life…what woman in the Western world can boast of such strength and such amazing traits? I may be young, but I am more mature than others my age, and I can say without a doubt that I have more respect for Russian woman than I ever had for a Western woman.
Although I understand where you are coming from try not to generalize too much.. We certainly have our saints and sinners in this country as well just like in any other location. Just keep in mind that we do have a pretty significant percentage of women who possess great beauty and even more valuable feminine traditions.
When may we read Part 2? Inquiring minds want to know!
Awesome question Bob! I´m waiting for part 2 aswell =)
I actually wrote some lyrics to a future song based on what I read here in part 1, so please give me some more material, rw_man
Who is the girl in the foto??
MAN! Russia sounds super-rough. This confirms what I’ve read/heard elsewhere, but it helps to have it made personal the way you tell it here.
In America these conditions would make such a place the most debased of ghettos. But out heroines still love and genuinely comfort each other.
Those are them women I want in my corner.
What this tells me is that I do NOT understand these people. If I lived there I’d get my ass kicked AND grow in ways I can’t imagine today… if I survived.