This is as outrageous as it gets.
It’s the ultimate insult for Russian Women who certainly don’t deserve to be marketed as commodities.
And it’s the ultimate sham for Men who are led to believe they can build their future family on a twisted “Win a Wife” radio promotion sponsored by an unscrupulous marriage agency.
If you’ve ever wondered why I’m not the biggest fan of marriage agencies, you’ll have no better explanation than the article below.
I previously wrote an article about how marriage agencies like this are marketing to the “Lowest Common Denominator”. Unfortunately for all of us, when this happens any good or noble intentions for finding real love is twisted beyond recognition and existing destructive stereotypes are only enforced.
Alberta radio station’s ‘Win a Wife’ contest angers MLA
Alberta’s minister of employment and immigration has blasted an Edmonton radio station for holding a contest to “win” a Russian wife.
The rock station The Bear is soliciting applications for “holy matrimony with a hot foreign chick.” The winner will get a roundtrip to Russia, 13 nights’ accommodation and $500 spending cash.
The contest is a joint effort between the station and A Volga Girl, an American-based matchmaking service that facilitates romances between Russian women and foreign suitors. The winner will receive a $750 “personal introduction package” from the company, which includes correspondence with three to five Russian women.
Thomas Lukaszuk, a Progressive Conservative MLA for the riding of Edmonton-Castle Downs, wrote on Facebook and Twitter that the contest was “deplorable” and demanded an apology from the station.
“The implied comparison of a wife being a prize that can be won like any other object just doesn’t sound good and it doesn’t feel right,” Lukaszuk told the Star.
He pulled his ministry’s advertising from the station in protest.
Rob Vavrek, the Bear’s brand director, compared the contest to the reality show The Bachelor, which follows a single man as he dates a pool of women with the goal of selecting one for marriage.
“The same rigorous selection criteria and principles of mutual consent, respect and freedom of choice for each participant are at the heart of this contest,” Vavrek told the Star in an email.
Men interested in entering the contest have until Sept. 29 to fill out an online form, which asks “what you have to offer a smoking hot foreign girl” and “top three benefits of having a wife.”
The contest’s rules outline how the five finalists must undergo a live, on-air character assessment from friends and family, as well as tests from a psychologist to determine their “suitability for marriage.”
Vavrek added that A Volga Girl is “a serious and renowned company with offices in Canada, providing single and consenting adults, screened and selected, the opportunity to contact and meet each other in the hopes of developing a serious relationship.”
However, Lukaszuk said that argument is “willful ignorance.”
“If one was to become a little bit more familiar with the situation of women in other countries, you would soon realize that our definition of consent definitely doesn’t apply to them. This is either coerced consent or consent out of sheer necessity,” Lukaszuk said.
The matchmaking service has resulted in hundreds of engagements and marriages in its 12 years in business, said Mark Scrivener, manager of the Canadian office.
“It’s just like any other dating service with the exception of the distance,” Scrivener said.
So far, the Bear has posted the entry forms of 68 men online.
The criticism comes a week after an uproar over an Edmonton hair salon’s controversial ad. The ad featured a woman who appeared to have been beaten.
(read the original article here)
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This type of advertising for a radio station isn’t all that surprising, I grew up and live in Alberta, where this contest is being held; Edmonton is a predominantly blue collar city which is headquarters to most of Alberta’s oil and gas services sector(drilling, rig and field workers etc).
The other city, Calgary is a very much more white collar city which has a much more cosmopolitan view of things and is headquarters to the major oil and gas companies in Canada.
It’s sad that an idiotic radio station does this but with a predominantly blue collar audience this doesn’t surprise me at all.
This is another type of stupid PR stunt to get cheap ratings and it really is at the expense of Russian women. There are a lot of redneck idiots who buy into the foreign wife stereotype and now a so called “reputable” company like A Volga Girl steps forward for some cheap and free advertising.
BTW, Edmonton is currently the murder capital of Canada with 23 murders this year, Calgary has the same population and has had 2 homicides so far.
What does this have to do with this ad? In Calgary no radio station here would even think about such a marketing stunt, the image of the city is always a concern, there would be such an uproar that any media outlet promoting this type of contest would be inundated with complaints. I’m personally annoyed that someone could think of a wife as some thing you can “win”, but as I’ve said Edmonton(also nicknamed Deadmonton by the locals) is another world entirely, even though it’s in the same province as where I live the blue collar mentality is strong and this type of contest would appeal to such an audience.
Don’t be surprised if they continue to hold such contests, this one has drawn enough publicity to make it worthwhile to the station in terms of exposure.
Westerners can be so pathetic with their stereotypical worldviews.
It is sadly a big truth what you say, we are born in a society of stereotypes and to remain “happy” in it we got to stick to them or be left alone in the mind understanding the prison that we built all this years and understanding that for most that prison will be the whole world.
It would be great to see a bunch of applications from men who know what a bunch of b.s. this sort of thing is. Then maybe the “winner” could openly denounce the “human commodity” image which is being promoted by this campaign.
It is interesting to see how Canadians think. I dated a Jewish/French woman from Montreal a few years back and she had much of the same feelings about Edmonton. She called it Pub country. I actually like pubs. lol I wouldn’t sweat it too much, when the guy gets to Moscow he will have his ass handed to him if he has a bad attitude. By the way I have been to North Western Ontario several times and the people have been very nice.
Didn’t know you were from cowtown… Maybe we should meet up for a visit…
I would be called a Calgary snob but I’ve met people who have left Edmonton for good and it’s Pub country but not in a good way. It’s not the English style Pub where it’s the center of the community, it’s more like the American bars where people go to get drunk and then pull a fight outside.
The reason for the attitude is not because the people are poor, it’s the very opposite, there is too much money pouring in from the Oil and Gas industry. It’s where an 18 yr old high school dropout can be making $75,000-$100,000 a year within 5 years working the oil rigs.
And Edmonton is a tame place compared to some towns in Northern Alberta like Fort McMurray, where an decent rig and oil sands worker can pull in $200K/year at the age of 25! It’s a Gold Rush town with the same mentality as the Yukon gold rush when it comes to money.
Now what happens when you get young men with lots of money to spend?, they’re worked like dogs for 6-8 months of the year and have nothing to do the rest of the time? Lots of booze and drugs available from the US and lots of women who can earn twice as the men is professional “services”. STDs are rampant up there as well as domestic violence because of the long winter nights, booze and cold.
Put a decent Russian woman in that mess? What sane woman would want to marry and live in such an atmosphere?
Boomtowns are rough places to be and it can be bad in Northern Alberta if you’re not careful.
I have been to hundreds of bars in the US and have never been in a fight, don’t believe Jersey Shore. As bad as the Edmonton boys are they are no match for a savy Moscow woman. I have been to Moscow and talked to women, Russian “businessmen” and former military officers. I have faith in the inteligence of a college educated Moscovite to be able to see through a B.S. line of a boomtown cowboy. I would hope that at some point the winner of this contest would realize that he has been given a chance to form a meaningful relationship with a lovely lady. I have never been to Edmonton but I manage to find nice people everywere I go, I suspect Edmonton is no different. Look at me, defending Canada to a Canadian. lol
It seems that canadian’s national passtime is being down on themselves…
Not everyone in Edmonton is an idiot except for a lot of the politicians who rule from there. But my impression of the town has always been that it’s a blue collar town with the mentality that goes along with it. They do have an excellent university but the predominant industry there is the oil service sector.
As I mentioned before they have about 10x the number of murders that Calgary has had this year and that tells you something about what the culture is like. Too much fast money and too many people making it too fast and spending it even faster.
A Moscovite I don’t think would go near the place or even Western Canada, unless it were Vancouver, we are simply too backwoods compared to a major capital like Moscow.
And the kind of men entering this type of contest I would almost certainly bet isn’t going to be one of the enlightened, well educated types that are apparently found on reality tv shows like “the Bachelor”. It’s more likely going to be an oil service worker or a Rig pig considering the type of demographic this radio station caters to.
GRY,
I sure agree that no self respecting woman from any country would look forward to getting sentenced to a life around the sort of environment you are talking about. What’s more, I doubt that a smart young Russian girl would want to leave the prospects of marrying into excessive alcoholism at home in exchange for being married to the same sort of man in Canada or anyplace else.
By the way, and please don’t take offense to this, but from my time around Northern Alberta and The Territories, I can assure you that any connection between drugs and the US is an absolute myth. The drug trade to those oil camps and the gold mining towns as well, doesn’t make a single stop in the states on the way north. If anything, the only midway points between South America and Ft. McMurray or Yellow Knife are Toronto and Vancouver. Too many of my friends in law enforcement have followed those routes in building their cases. Yankee drug runners “wish” they could get a piece of that action.
Richard,
No offense taken, but no matter where the drugs come from they are a major problem in Northern Alberta, and as you’ve stated the Yanks only wish they could get into the action.
I know people who have lived and in some cases were born up there and they’ve said things are bad in some of the boomtowns. The oil companies run tight, “clean” camps which means absolutely no alcohol or drugs and they have a zero tolerance, fire them on the spot policy.
Many of the workers are from elsewhere and don’t originally come from Alberta, with little to do except work in a high pressure job this takes a huge toll and some of the men need “aids” to help them relax. Drug use is a huge problem and it fuels the gangs bringing in the stuff from the major urban centers.
Agree with every word rw_man This is sick! What right do these people have to exploit Russian women this way? Or any woman for that matter regardless of nationalty!
How can this be compared to reality TV show? I am not a fan of reality TV by any means, but this is still completely different. In a reality TV program the women have to volunteer to sign up for the show and they know exactly what they are getting themselves into and what the risks are. But a woman on the other side of the planet would have absolutely no idea that she is being exploited for the sake of commercial value, and that for me makes this all the more heart breaking.
As for a respected marriage agency in “A Volga Girl” helping to fund this atrocity then they should be ashamed!
I have just clicked on the website and under the link it says “Russian Girls, Mail Order Brides, Russan Wives and Russian Women at A Volga Girl”. (well I guess they mean in that order!)
I just hope this competition is stopped before innocent Russian women get emotionally or even physcially hurt, because I for one, would be very concerned about the type of men this advertisment would attract!
Thanks for reading take care
Jamie
My fiance lives close to the city of Kursk, the site of the largest tank battle in world history. The Germans underestimated the Russians and they were defeated. One Russian officer laughingly said, “What did the Germans think they would come in here with their shinny boots and that it would be easy?” So it is when you underestimate someone. As was said in the blog about the daily life of a Russian woman, everything is more difficult. I was in Sevastopol only one hour and saw a guy get his face kicked in by three guys. Then we turned the corner and saw a guy pulling up the shirt of a hooker. Don’t kid yourself, Russian women have seen it all, they will not be impressed by rude behavior. Russian women do not need American or Canadian to resque them. To think of them as helpless victoms is to insult them and to underestimate them.
I agree with you the biggest problem here is the fact that western culture ALWAYS wants to “save” and “enlighten” everybody else for a better life, while our lives are still a bit of fucked up because nobody’s happy, bit of tragiccomical isn’t?
I was wondering today what life was like before the world was such a mess. Without the advantage of roads and wheels a man might have lived his entire existence, born and buried, in the range of a 1 to 2 mile radius. How did this man manage to meet a good traditional woman to marry in such a slow paced small space? When I ride my bike, with the convenience of black top trails and bridges, I’ll trek out around 15 to 20 miles. A week ago I was headed back on a new route and stopped at a fountain for a drink. Not knowing quite sure where I was at, I asked an attractive and single (she didn’t have a ring on her finger) woman who was stopped there as well how far it was to the next town. She acted so disgusted that I would approach her and ask such a question, mumbled “7 miles” and wafted her hand as if she was flicking off a fly. I said “Thank you” and buzzed off. This is the typical reaction I get from modern women and it’s as if they are conditioned to be defensive. I’ve often believed through our advancements we’ve regressed and the more important question for me is this – How does a well intentioned man meet a good traditional woman to marry in such a fast paced open space? I’ve never been to one but was considering signing up for a speed dating event in October. Does anyone have an opinion on speed dating?
Mick,
This is just one man’s opinion, but first off, try to view speed dating as a form of entertainment. Never think of it as meeting someone special. Go in with NO expectations what-so-ever. Once you have decided not to be let down by the results, anything good that happens is a bonus. Franklin said something to the effect; “If I start my day considering that everything could go bad, an average day will seem good”. All of these “trick dating” things should be viewed in that same light.
The woman you asked about distance to the next town is so painfully typical of our average NA woman of today that I think I knew what her reply was going to be before you told us. How sad, eh?
When I had lots of disposable income I tried very hard to hide my wealth by avoiding flashy toys and clothes, etc. My one big treat was a rather understated man’s diamond ring which I still wear today. But I drove old cars and wore jeans and t-shirts while my business friends told me how wrong my thinking was. When I succumbed slightly and bought a very nice sports car and some nicer than average clothes, I really did start meeting more beautiful, young ladies. Meeting is the key word here. Meeting them and finding out how shallow and unattractive they really were was the underlying reality of the situation. Ever since I have worn jeans and t-shirts and drove modest cars (most of the time) and I don’t meet those beauties any more. I think I’m better for the experience in many ways.
The real tragedy here is I have to consider traveling halfway around the planet to find a decent woman. I can’t believe there isn’t one good woman left for me. I feel like I missed the boat. It’s not these women who need rescued but men like me who are cast out like relics and don’t fit into a modern society that is moving more and more away from a traditional family structure and values.
Mick, look on the bright side. If you correspond with a lovely lady for several months and you wish to visit her then you can combine sightseeing with your trip. Rent a two bedroom apartment in Moscow or St. Petersburg and plan to have fun even if it is not a love connection. If you are a gentleman you will have a lovely guide for the city at the least. Why do you feel that you have missed the boat? There are many lovely older Russian ladies that have very tradition values. Try to have contacts in the city you visit. The company you rent the apartment from can supply English speaking contacts. You will need a driver to and from the airport, the rest of the time you can use street taxis or the metro or walk. This trip is very possible, I did it. If you wish to ride the trans-siberian train maybe you could use this blogs host as a contact. If you ride second or third class you will meet people on the train, Russians love to share their food. Bring some vodka and meat,chesse and bread and you will be popular. By the way vodka is sold on the train but it is ilegal to have it. lol I wish you the best of luck and will help you any way I can. Tim
It really is a tragedy that NA women today are still stubborn enough and foolish enough to stick with the feminist b.s. that led us all to this place in history, even knowing that it hasn’t been good for either gender.
We’ve all heard the old saying, “Insanity is doing the same thing while expecting different results”. The women complain that we (men) don’t allow them to be “equals” even though it has lowered them from being admired and sought after to being more like ‘one of the guys’. But maybe the shortfall of traditionally minded men is that we somehow expect to keep treating these women well despite their refusal to accept an elevated status.
In the past I have always tried to show women a certain kind of respect that is unique to them because of all that women offer just for being women. Apparently, showing them that special treatment is a character flaw on my part. But by continuing to think that treating these modern NA women in a manner befitting a lady, I will most likely stay single for the remainder of my life.
Whether or not there is even one good woman left for you or me or any of the other guys like us, is probably not the real question. I’m sure there are many wonderful ladies around the NA continent. Finding them is another story all together.
We’ve occasionally seen women on this site who write letters which are supportive to the ideals of femininity over feminism and the joy of being a real woman. I would love to see those women not only continue to show their support here, but also (as some do) spread the word that there are real men around who still believe that women are more attractive and more valuable contributors to our society when they stop trying to compete with men for every single thing they do in life.
Here’s a little exercise for you younger men to try when you meet a woman and you think you want to build a meaningful relationship with them. Remember to try this only after you’ve been dating a while and are comfortable doing almost anything together with your mutual friends.
If you don’t already own one, go out and buy a classic board game or two and have a game night with a few couples that you and your lady friend know pretty well. Play the game as best as you can but only from a purely strategic standpoint. Play to win, but play more to observe. You will probably see a few very clear dynamics develop as the game progresses. (I’ve been an avid board game collector for most of my life and have hosted many game nights with friends of all ages and social standings) The first thing you will probably see is women slowly forming alliances. They will usually do it very quietly, but sometimes they are right up front with it. Watching more closely you will see that the general mentality of women playing these games is not primarily to succeed themselves, but to actually stomp out their opponents first; particularly the guys playing. Whether a farmer, a businessman or a soldier, men generally see winning as a way of measuring accomplishment through a series of goals met along the way. Women see this process (especially against men) as a way to prove they can annihilate their competitors first, and then maybe win the game as a side bar to it all. What’s more, watching tables of only women playing board games together, the level of devious fury can get very entertaining. Most of the traits that these same women attribute negatively to men in daily life are accentuated tenfold by the girls when they have no men to compete with while gaming. If it weren’t such a sign of deep seated anxiety towards men, these expressions would be quite humorous.
My daughter has friends over often and board games are one of her favorite activities. She has gotten most of her friends hooked on these old games as well, but she is already aware that many of her friends are NOT friendly when they get to the game table. I’ve taught my daughter the strategic intricacies of several classic games and the joy of plotting a victory via thinking ahead, as one would need to do in chess, but she now knows that most of these other young girls have been learning “life skills” from their modern NA mommies. It has been a very good opportunity for my daughter to see the difference between good and bad sportsmanship.
Last night I watched a documentary on Jackie Kennedy. I have admired this woman on many levels over the years, and even more so after working on a movie about her life back in the 80s. She was a career woman who worked shoulder to shoulder with men in a predominately male dominated field and she was good enough at her job to be their equal, yet she never demanded preference or priority. She did her job and she did it well and was respected for it. When she married John Kennedy, she became the American version of national royalty at a time when feminism was on the precipice of breaking out from the shadows. Jackie became a wife first, a mother second, then a first lady and eventually a strong asset as a bit of a dignitary. When her husband was killed, she stoically took charge of everything that needed to be done, and she did it all with character and dignity. Her later marriage to Onasis was a very wise and strategic move which was motivated, for the most part, by her maternal instincts. Once, while speaking about the predominate feminists of the day, Jackie said, “I just don’t understand these women. What better life is there for a woman beyond being a good wife and mother?” Granted, she was pretty young at the time, and there was a point later in life where she also applauded women who were fighting for equality in the work force, but never did she reject tradition in exchange for feminism. She agreed with equal pay for equal performance, but she was not one to support extortion as a tool for career advancement.
Women of character are becoming harder to find because of their random saturation into a society which no longer recognizes and openly appreciates them because of what they stand for. In a nutshell, we as a people, simply don’t care enough to acknowledge proper etiquette and behavior any more. For those of us who do, we must fight against the conventions of the day to even be noticed, much less to be accepted for our traditional beliefs, and then to find a woman of equal character in this mix, well, let’s just say it won’t be an easy thing to do.
Zig Ziggler tells a story of a biscuit that had intenttions to rise in the oven. This biscuit had all the right ingredients and was placed in the oven with the other biscuits. He was ready to rise and he squatted but he squatted too long and got cooked in the sqaut. He was just a flat hard biscuit. In life we can have all the right answers but we must take action to live out our dreams. In short don’t get cooked in the squat.
And Ziggler (as well as many others) have also said, ‘for each of us the dream is different, so the path to that dream is different, too’.
If experience is the best teacher, we should first look at the experience of others in determining the path we might take. Unfortunately, too many people make careers and lives out of ‘watching others’ without ever ‘doing’ for themselves.
Hey Mick dont feel hopeless
Russian girls r very traditional and we need men like u
btw u ever considered finding someone russian in ur country?
Mick, Richard is right, be yourself, don’t try to impress others with stuff. When I searched the Russian dating sites I downplayed my wealth. I wanted a woman that loved me, not my stuff. I simply said that I am financialy secure. This is enough info to start with. If you do try the Russian dating sites beware of any site that will not let you corespond with the lady directly. The practice of holding the women captive is offensive.
Living in a country that everybody craves for money, more and more each day, and playing being overwealthy when we werent brought us were we are(desperate;),nothing that money gives may last, Freeburg that was one of the best comments ever, i also agree of how offensive is this practise you mentioned, also note that if they do not let you correspond directly you have better chances of being scrammed.
Hi Freeburg
which girl are u looking for btw? just wonderin
what qualities she must have?
such a stupid contest
but I hate those tv shows as well
u know the ones where a farmer chooses a wife or where girls compete against each other for a man
this is so not real fake really
btw as a true russian giurl myself i just love this journal
thanx a lot
out of curiosity, where are you living these days??
haha i live in germany right now
i moved here to study
i visit russia now and then
not sure whether i want to stay in germany
this blog is so cool it really tells the truth
not just the black side and not the sugar side
but the reality
I once saw an operah show in the 1995. It was about US men marrying russian women.
The couple on the stage was a man, a doctor from the US. and his new wife from Russia, a very attractive exceptionally younger blonde, who who smiled and laughed alot, very upbeat girl.
A young girl from the audience went directly on the offensive. She basically said “Why do this guy have to go to Russia to get a wife. Look at him! He’s so desperate!”
Clearly she felt threatened by the russian girl’s beauty. But it was more than that. It was her stereo-typical view of Russia as just a broken down worthless country, and through her blissful ignorance and programming, actually believed
marrying a russian was a step down, when on the contrary it’s several steps upward.
America has ALOT to learn from Eastern Europe. But Americans are too socially retarded to realize that. So many americans are only a step away from becoming another character on Jersey Housewives. ignorant, spoiled, trashy,loud.
Very very well said Sean. Thanks for pointing out the venom which comes from the Oprah demographic.
America is a dying nation, it’s actually dead but some parts haven’t gotten the memo yet. Look at the social blight, the attitudes of many Americans, the blind, unquestioning patriotism and the incredibly high levels of ignorance when it comes to other countries.
The fact is many Americans truly believe they are still living in the number one country in the world, that even with the recent financial and economic problems, America will always be number 1.
They believed in the supremacy of the American way to the same extent that the citizens of Rome believed in the infallibility of their Roman Empire.
America will reap the rewards of what it has sown across the world in the past 50 years, they’ll end up like the Roman Empire did, a nation which died but wouldn’t believe it.
What does this have to do with Russian Women? American women have the same arrogance that Roman women did about the women of other countries and cultures. That despite their insufferable arrogance they could not bring themselves to believe that Roman men would ever look outside of Rome. And yet historically once Roman women became “emancipated” they turned into what we see today in American women, harpies and blood sucking vampires.
And the Roman men reacted in many of the same ways today’s American men react, a lot of them submitted to the stereotypical view that Roman women were no 1. But many Roman men did “expat” or emigrate to the remote areas of the Roman Empire and many of them married non Roman women. As the Empire was collapsing in the early 4th century many Roman women refused to see the writing on the wall, they as many feminists do today. Kept on demanding more entitlements, more “rights” they became ever more obnoxious, that is until the Huns and other Germanic barbarian tribes marched in and knocked the Romans out of Western Europe.
The Romans like the modern Americans, failed to learn about the world around them, failed to acknowledge that some cultures were a lot stronger than they appeared. Many of the barbarian cultures were savage but even they acknowledged how sadistic and decadent Rome was and they never took the Romans for granted and looked for the eventual weakness that arrogance bred into their system.
America is a lot like Rome, which took everyone else in the world for granted because they thought they had the best armies and technologies in the world. And refused to believe they had the worst political and social leadership up until the very end.
America is done as a nation, stick a fork in it because Americans refuse to learn from their mistakes or even acknowledge they made any mistakes at all!
Russia will still about around in some form or another long after America is a memory, the Slavic personality understands the reality of what suffering, hardship and adversity is and acknowledges the world as it is. This pragmatic streak plus a healthy dose of Stoicism has saved Russia and Russians during the hard times.
From what I’ve seen and heard from the very few Russian women around me, they may look “soft” on the outside, just as velvet looks soft, but inside is a will of iron when needed.
Most American and western women would be down on their knees praying for salvation and rescue under the same conditions that Russian women have to live and survive in everyday without any complaint.
But we in the West are too arrogant and stupid to actually learn from our mistakes, our egos have grown out of control and so reality is preparing a harsh object lesson for the Western world.
GRY,
In high school I wrote a report comparing America to Ancient Rome. It was pretty much equally cheered and jeered by my classmates, but one English teacher said it was “very insightful”. Looking at how far we’ve come (or gone) since then, I’d have to say that what you’ve written here captures a painfully accurate snapshot of our arrogance and the patterns which will lead to our ultimate demise.
You’ve done a wonderful job pointing out how modern NA women are suffering from the same diseased thinking which Roman women had.
As we’ve all heard before, failure to learn from our past dooms us to relive it. We are so blind and stupid that we are definitely making the same mistakes again, but now with the advanced technology available, we are simply making those mistakes faster and more effectively than ever before.
Allright, I finished reading every last post today and finally decided to leave a comment. First I would like to thank rw man for all knowledge you have made available for the man seeking love abroad. It has really been helpful to me personnaly as I have been fortunate to meet a Russian woman stateside. I have been trying to talk to her and get to know her for many, many months now. I made a few uh-ohs here and there but I think she is still open to giving me a chance (I asked her out twice already, second time did not go so well). Last time we spoke she asked if she would see me again next week, so we will see what happens. Anyway, it will be a pleasure to post here more and I look forward to communicating with you all.
I have a couple of questions,(sorry if I’m posting in the wrong place here).
I have been dating a Russian girl for several months now and have been to Russia to visit here a few times. Sometimes in her own city and also in another city. So far I have paid for everything (very nearly), and I am due to visit her again, but have some concerns. I wonder if you guys could help me out. Your responses would be very much appreciated.
Question 1)
Are men expected to pay for everything?
Now I don’t mind paying for the accomodation (hotel), and most or even all of the meals and drinks. But really is it normal to also pay for HER flight. It’s not that I am trying to be tight here. But I feel that if she pays for her own flight and the occassional drink or even occassional dinner then this at least shows some kind of gesture and is a sign that she is serious. Or am I just being ignorant of the fact that this is a Russian custom I am over looking and therefore should just accept this and pay for absolutely everything.
Question 2)
How much would a female accountant / lawyer typically earn in Russia (age 30)?
Thanks in advance.
Hi Tomthumb,
Not a guy here, but a Russian girl.
To unswer your question.
1) Yes and no. It’s believed that men should at least offer and if women decides they can share a bill or he may pay for both. Decent women normally won’t take their men to expensive/fancy places where she will order a 3 course meal and happily let him pay for it. Normally they pretend to be not hungry and will have something small instead. There are only 2 reasons (or often a combination of those reasons) for women to expect men to pay for them. a) a woman struggling with money b)a woman is raised like that by her mother who was a single parent and struggling with money. A custom though is if a man pays he doesn’t talk or sulk about it after the money is spent.
2) It really depends on the type of job she’s doing if she’s combining the two, I would think it’s a small company and she doesn’t get paid a lot.(That is about 1000 USD) Also depends on the region. BTW there’s a Russian custom you should know about – Never Talk About Money. It’s considered unapropriate to ask how much people earn and most won’t unswer this question directly.
hope this helps.
Thanks Kisha,
I appreciate your response.
It’s interesting actually, in what you say that decent women wont normally take their men to expensive restaurants, because my girlfriend often says “Well, we don’t need to stay in the most expensive hotel” and other such things.
I guess, I just feel it would be a nice gesture if she did pay for something every now and again.
However, if it is customary, for things to be this way, then at least I know I am not simply being “taken for a ride” and made a fool of.
Actually, it is nice to act like a gentleman, and be appreciated for this.
Thanks also for the cultural advice. I would never directly ask her how much she earns though. At least not at this stage in the relationship. I think there is a time and place for discussing such things, we’re not quiet there yet.
I can now plan my next trip a little more prepared.