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1. Why did you create this Blog?

Russian women are like heroic characters because they are always dealing with dirty situations and environments but somehow they still manage to stay beautiful and out of trouble.

I am like most Americans in that I love a good underdog story where the hero faces incredible odds but still comes out as the champion. This is a labor of love because it is an opportunity to bring the true story of these women into the light.

This is especially important since their own modesty would never allow them to do it themselves.

2. Do you hate American women?

Absolutely not. I have a precious circle of American women who are either close to me or who have influenced my life in the most special of ways. I am truly indebted to these women for how their love and friendship has shaped me as a person.

The American women that I tend to get along the best with are already happily married with kids because they see the value in all of this. These special American women actually served as the initial inspiration for me to create this. In many ways this work is also dedicated to them because they have what many of us American men want in our lives. It is for this reason that they have my deepest respect and admiration.

No. I am far away from hating American women. What I do hate is the cancerous political, cultural and behavioral power games that disempower both American men and women from understanding and finding love with each other.

Russian women are a real if not superior alternative in breaking out of this vicious cycle. They are truly special in that they have far less options available in their lives but they still do not find it necessary to engage in such destructive behavior. Quite frankly, they do not understand why many American women choose to act like angry victims and lash out at American men in general. Russian women correctly see that these American women are given more positive opportunities and choices in men than in anywhere else in the world.

3. Are the Russian women you show on your site models?

None of these ladies are models although they could probably easily work as models in the US or in many other countries. They are all friends or casual acquaintances that I have met and most of them are single if you can believe it. It has been a complete pleasure to capture such moments from their lives. It is easy to meet such beautiful women while you are in Russia and for the most part they really enjoy having their pictures taken.

4. Are you living in Russia?

Yes, I’m originally from the US West Coast but I am now living and working in Russia.

5. What is the population of Russia?

Around 150 million people spread out over multiple ethnic groups

6. What about women from other Former Soviet Union (FSU) countries such as the Ukraine, Belarus, or Kazakhstan?

Although it would be more accurate to call this “FSU Women – The Real Truth most” many American men would not know what this means and it would not be practical to label this site this way. Although there are many FSU countries the women from these areas more or less share the same overall characteristics and values that are described in this site.

7. Why are there significantly fewer Russian Men then Russian Women?

There are a number of factors.

The situation started back in World War II. Some 20 million Soviet people died during that conflict and most of them were men. This started a domino effect since it created a huge vacuum for future generations of men who were needed to fill existing dangerous jobs. This in turn further increased the already high mortality levels for Russian Men. Subsequent conflicts from the 1950′s on into modern times continue to take a huge toll on these men.

This imbalance is further compounded by rampant alcohol and drug abuse with large populations of Russian Men who are not able nor qualified to have stable relationships and raise families.

Another key factor contributing to this is the mandatory 2 year military service which all young Russian men must serve typically starting at the age of 18. While these men are serving their country they are not allowed to start a relationship and this puts additional strain demographically on the population imbalance between men and women.

Finally many of these Russian men upon completing their service move away from their original homes searching for good jobs in larger cities while Russian women traditionally stay near their families.

These population imbalances become more dramatically pronounced with age since Russian men have a very high mortality rate in comparison to Russian women.

8. Aren’t Russian women all just looking for a way out of their country?

There will always be a minority segment of women who are motivated by this and in my opinion it’s pretty straight forward to identify them. However, the vast majority of Russian women are simply trying to find a loving and supportive husband to ultimately raise a family with. This is the biggest challenge they face because of the male/female ratio working against them.

Put yourself in their position for a second and think about what you would do if you were in their same situation. It’s not an easy decision for most Russian women to consider living in a strange country because of how close they traditionally are to their families and especially their mothers. Their desire in wanting to find the right spouse needs to override this instinct. Since many of them do not want to live in another country a man would need to be pretty special in their eyes for them to even consider moving.

Russian women are very proud of their heritage and their country. And if you lived here like I do you can see why this is the case. Most importantly they are proud of themselves as women and would not willingly pass themselves off in any thing that may be suspiciously demeaning or degrading to them. For example the vast majority of beautiful and single Russian women I meet do not have their pictures posted on any agency website even though they are looking for a man.

9. Is it true that you can really find a younger woman to be your wife in Russia?

Yes, within reason and also depending on the age of the Russian lady. If you are dealing with a young lady in her early 20′s then a 10 year and even up to a 15 year difference is normal depending on the appearance, compatibility and fitness of the man. Keep in mind that young Russian women in their early 20′s are exceptionally mature in comparison to their American counterparts.

As a Russian woman gets older the difference in age can also typically increase. A man in his 50′s and sometimes 60′s can have a relationship with a Russian woman in her 30′s. In one case I have heard of a man in his early 70′s getting engaged to a woman who was 34.

For most American men many of these age differences may be hard to believe until one actually sees the maturity level of these ladies and witnesses what goes on over here. Russian women are looking for manly leaders who have a clear direction and purpose in life and from a historical and survival perspective this makes a great deal of sense. Older and more established men clearly fall into this category.

Stories and legends of princes winning the hearts of a fair maiden is something that these women were commonly brought up with as children. Most Russian women intuitively understand and accept that their prince can most likely be an older man.

10. Can there be greater differences in age when dealing with a girl in her 20s?

Yes, there are always exceptions to the norm. However these arrangement are more difficult to find and require more trial and error and patience. I personally have a friend who is 45 years old and he has a girlfriend that is 24. He is exceptionally fit and is a very good man to this woman.

11. Aren’t Russian women submissive?

This stereotype is a complete myth. I am surrounded with hundreds of Russian women at my work and I have yet to find someone who I consider to be submissive. Russian women are very strong, resourceful and streetwise. The amazing thing is that they are all of this without being loud or obnoxious as is prevalent in the US.

If they were submissive then they wouldn’t be able to survive in this tough environment. For example they are often dealing with drunk, aggressive and sometimes dangerous Russian men who want to harass or have sex with them. Behavior that would get a man locked up in no time flat in the United States is openly tolerated here and Russian Women are left to fend for themselves. Quite frankly there is great irony here since most American women (who believe themselves to be more independent or stronger then Russian women) would not last long in this environment.

Believe me if you cross a Russian women by getting on her bad side then you’ve got problems brother. They will give more to you then any woman you’ve ever known but their boundaries and their expectations are strictly enforced and you better know what they are. As long as you treat them like a lady you will be fine.

There’s a famous Russian saying that says that the Man may be the head of the family but his wife is the neck that turns the head into the direction it wants!

It was initially hard for me to believe that Russian women could do this until I actually experienced the hidden remote control unit that my girlfriend at the time had secretly planted on me.

12. How come you only wrote with American Men in mind? I am from England and many of the problems you are describing with American women are the same here and for the rest of Western Europe.

I realize this but it was easier to write from and American man’s perspective (because I am American) instead of having to say “we disgruntled men of developed Western Nations” all the time.

I know that Russian women are developing quite a famous name for themselves in Europe because European men are catching on to these women quickly. I know that Russian women in Germany for example are highly sought after and in vogue. One of my students who traveled to Singapore was treated like she was a movie star from another planet. She was completely thrown for a loop with the amount of adoration she received there since she received next to nothing here in Russia.

13. Are all the girls in agencies serious about getting married?

Most Russian Women in the agencies are serious however there is a significant number or women who may be “just trying this out for fun”. You need to be wary of these women because they are only out to have fun and will use up your precious time and money and will not give you a commitment. This happens mostly with younger girls below the age of 22. They are still at a point where they might not be too sure of what they want. They may be simply incapable of recognizing you for the quality man that you are. However the older the women get the more serious they are about getting married.

14. How do Russian men treat their women?

Since I mostly work with Russian women I get a lot of information on this subject. I have met mostly older Russian men who are very decent, loving and caring towards their wives or girlfriends. Also most young men I meet are also exceptional and fair-minded individuals. However, I think these men are more of an exception rather than the rule.

Russian women frequently complain that they are treated like commodities. Since there are so many of them it is very tempting for a Russian man to not care about losing one since in all likelihood he can quickly find another woman to replace her. This situation doesn’t give Russian men a great deal of incentive to be affectionate or loving for the long term. There are a whole range of bad behaviors that I have heard about in relation to Russian men but key to all of them is a long term sense of indifference or arrogance towards their women.

In general Russian men are very forward with how they communicate with their women. In some cases this can be seen as desirable and strong but in most cases it is forceful, caustic and abrasive. Keep in mind that age is a big variable here because the older the man is the more civil and gentlemanly he is likely to be. It is the scores of disillusioned younger men who I am describing which are the ones mostly responsible for these types of problems.

15. How does the Russian Government feel about men coming to Russia to find wives?

Russia is facing a severe demographic crisis because it has some of the lowest birthrates in the world and this is leading to a sharp decline in it’s population over the next 10 to 20 years. The Russian Government is deeply concerned about this and it generally does not like the idea of women leaving the country but it still allows them the freedom to do so.

In-spite of the government’s negative view on this there are millions of women who simply do not have a chance at finding husbands with whom they can raise a family with.

A prime cause to this is a historically unstable and developing economy which does not provided enough employment opportunities for the existing men in Russia to support a family with. The Russian Government must prioritize on this problem because it cannot just magically materialize more Russian men for the existing surplus of Russian women.

American or other foreign men coming to Russia to look for wives actually benefits Russia in two key ways towards addressing this problem.

First the men who are looking for Russian wives tend to be established and have either successful careers or businesses. What this does is give Russia great exposure from a specialized audience of American men. Since Russia is a large developing economy many of the men are coming to Russia for the first time and are amazed at the numerous opportunities to do business. Additionally, there is a growing percentage of these men like myself who decide to invest their time, money, expertise and energy into this country for their own professional growth. As strange as this sounds beautiful Russian women are directly responsible for attracting significant amounts of foreign investment and expertise into this country!

The second key benefit comes from married Russian women living overseas who now have greater amounts of money either through their own employment or through their husband’s income. As a group these women pump hard currency into the Russian economy because they send back large amounts of money (by Russian standards) to help their families out. A typical Russian woman who is employed in the US can earn anywhere between 3 to 15 times more money then if she was working in Russia. With this greater income she can now easily support her family in Russia for the long term.

There is a famous quote by the great Russian writer Dostoevsky that says “Beauty can save the world.” I believe that this man was ahead of his time given what I am seeing.

16. What is the general attitude that Russian women have towards marriage agencies?

Russian women who join agencies generally do not share this fact with other people such as friends and family. This is because the given attitude that most Russians have towards marriage agencies is negative and this often causes shame and problems for those that have joined. Unfortunately what this belief does is prevent the vast majority of qualified single women from joining any agency no matter how good it’s reputation.

There are other factors that compound this problem. Russian media and news has only conducted negative stories on marriage agencies. They have sensationalized various horror stories of some poor Russian women marrying some monster of an American man who has serious problems. Even though this does not represent the vast majority of happy unions between Russian women and American men it still gets used like a tabloid story to hook in more listeners and viewers and it works.

Another problem is the negative reputation of the agencies themselves. Russian people rarely hear about the good agencies but they often hear about the bad ones. Much of this criticism is deserved since there are a number of truly un-ethical marriage agencies which systematically scam both American men and Russian women.

American men who come over with a wrong attitude also end up hurting the reputation of agencies with Russian women as well. There are a number of desperate American men who have been fueled on a completely bogus belief that Russian women are “mail order brides”. With this in mind they come to Russia often acting like arrogant slave masters trying to “get the best deal”. These men either end up going home frustrated (because the good women here easily see through this) or they end up matching with a woman with questionable character and motives.

As you can imagine this hurts the reputation of the agency for bringing the man out in the first place and it also damages the general reputation of American men. I personally know of cases where outstanding Russian women with high hopes for a relationship were completely degraded by some American man and now they refuse to have anything to do with any marriage agencies.

Finally many good Russian ladies do not join agencies because they fear that it will make them appear desperate or look like they are prostituting themselves. In Russia there are a growing number of prostitution websites which look very similar to agency websites. An average Russian woman is proud, refined and conservative and she is very sensitive as to how other people see her. Accordingly she doesn’t want to appear like a commodity for sale.

You will want to keep in mind that this is just a perception and in no way means that the women who have already joined agencies are anything less then the stellar women that are described on RWA. Given these stereotypes it takes courage and a good streak of independence for both Russian women and American men to work with an agency.

7. What are some of the scams that bad marriage agencies use?

At the root of all scams is some type of bait and switch operation. For example I know of a well known agency which has a US office in a major Texas city which is the absolute epitome of a scam operation. It is very polished and it even put on a good show for a national TV news magazine doing a story on it.

It first sponsors a regional beauty contest where it photographs all of the girls who register and collects their personal information. It will then post these pictures and profiles on it’s marriage agency website without the girls knowledge or permission. It also steals photographs and profiles from other agencies and claims them as their own. In one case it actually posted the profile of a lady who was a friend of mine and who was already engaged.

The men who visit this website are tricked into believing that these girls are available and so this agency charges men into buying “tokens” which will allow them a certain number of letters to be exchanged back and forth. The letters from the girls are fabricated in order to keep the men buying additional tokens.

This same agency offers to send out a “Free” video CD of these girls and it cleverly hides the fact that it will send you out additional CD’s and charge your credit card a large amount of money without clearly telling you that it will do it.

Finally, if you still don’t catch on to this and they manage to convince you that your dream girl is waiting for you (with their fabricated letters) and you fly to Russia to meet her you might be disappointed in knowing that when you get here that she might not be available for you but instead they have a lot of other “ladies” who would love to meet with you while you are here.

Some marriage agencies also use modeling agencies as fronts (when there is very little hope that these women will ever get a modeling job in Russia) to attract girls.

Some agencies have a financial incentive in seeing you fail at finding your true love because they earn more money with every subsequent trip that you make to try again. As a result some agencies have actually sabotaged their men’s attempts at finding their true love. This is incredibly cruel because it plays with peoples hearts and it discourages real people from finding real love.

For both American men and Russian women there are some real potential hazards that one needs to be aware of in deciding to go down this path. The risk can be high but so too can the rewards for those with enough patience, heart and smarts to choose the right course.

18. Do many Russian women speak English?

Before I answer this question I need to give you a little background on English in Russia first.

English is the world’s international language and as American’s we are extremely lucky that this is the case. Learning English is a mandatory subject in most Russian schools so it is not unusual to find Russian students who have been studying English for 4 to 10 years even before they start their university studies! For example I have been to children’s summer camp that was solely devoted to teaching a wide range of Russian children English. At the university level studying English is still popular and often mandatory as an elective along with whatever their chosen degree is.

More then half the songs that are played on the radio are popular American songs and Hollywood movies dominate the Russian landscape. Some measure of news about America is heard on a daily basis. English is the most popular language to learn and Russian people who speak it well tend to have a great deal of intellectual and cultural status within this society. I was even surprised to learn that many Russians learn English in order to travel and communicate in Europe (since Europeans also use English as a common language between them) even though most of them never go to England because of their strict visa requirements.

Although this general interest in English is positive news for American Men most Russian women who have graduated from a university simply don’t have any practical reasons to speak and to maintain their English skills. Therefore most Russian women past their mid 20′s speak English only at a basic level. The good news is that they very much understand it’s importance and are willing to get to a proficient level of speaking if given a good reason to do so. There is a growing realization with Russian people that if they don’t lean English then the world might just pass them by.

19. I’ve heard that Russian women are not religious is this true?

During the old communist times the Soviet Union only allowed personal and spiritual allegiance to the State. There was a great deal of conditioning that was used to convince it’s citizens that “Religion was the opiate of the masses” as Karl Marx had said.

If you were raised in an environment where you were taught that religious or spiritual beliefs are akin to taking drugs and if this idea is emphasized for 70 years across three generations of Russians then you can see why most Russian people are not “openly” religious. I emphasize the word “openly” because the people who are religious here are still very much “in the closet” about it and fear being ridiculed if it is known.

In general Russian women are not religious. They will attend Christmas or Easter services but that is mostly out of cultural traditions and not because of belief. I have noticed a general interest in Russian women wanting to learn more about religion and religious ideas since as human beings they are also trying to find the answer to our origin and purpose.

The most widely accepted religion in Russia is the Orthodox Christian Church which is experiencing a new revitalization since the Russian government is openly encouraging it once again to grow in order to help re-instill cultural pride with it’s citizens. If a Russian woman calls herself a Christian what she really means is that she is an Orthodox Christian.

20. I have never been to Russia. What’s is this country and it’s people like?

That’s a little like asking what the United States and it’s people are like but I’ll give this question my best try.

Russia is an absolutely gigantic country that spans across 11 time zones. It would take 9 hours to fly across it by commercial jet. Siberia by itself (which encompasses more then half of Russia) is almost twice as large as the US!

Most people who travel to Russia usually only go to St. Petersburg or Moscow. St. Petersburg which is on the outer western border of Russia is considered by many to be an elegant European city since this is what Peter the Great who was the founder (and leader of 19th century Russia) wanted this magnificent city to be.

Moscow is the political and business center for Russia. It is a vast city and it is most famous for it’s huge fortress like Kremlin (which is like the White House and Capital Hill all rolled into one) Red Square, and St. Basil’s Cathedral. Moscow has such a concentration of business and political resources that it is not generally considered to be of the same characteristic of a typical Russian city.

Russia has vast spans of mostly flat land dotted with various cities that vary widely in population from a few hundred thousand to a few million. These various cities are heavily industrialized turning out everything from bread to rail-road cars. Most of the buildings are drab looking since during Soviet times construction techniques always emphasized function over form.

Much of this emphasis on function only is true for almost all of Russia. Buildings, cars, buses, trains, roads, restaurants, stores, supermarkets, hospitals and schools all have this really rugged look to them. It may look like it doesn’t work but it’s like your neighbor’s old beat up Volkswagen that just doesn’t die.

The food is great. Meats and vegetables are almost always fresh because of a bustling network of open markets and there is a large variety of Russian dishes that are very tasty especially if you like soups, rye breads, cheeses, sausages, smoked fish and smoked hams. Beef and chicken dishes are also very good as well. Russian women as a rule are great cooks.

People on the street generally keep to themselves and tend to have this very serious (sometimes grim) expression on their faces. Pop, techno and folk music is played everywhere. Public transportation is ubiquitous and very inexpensive. It can get very hot in the summer time and as you probably know brutally cold in the winter. Russia is probably most famous for it’s winters which reminds me of Minneapolis during the winter. Hockey is the national sport of choice and Russian players almost never get into a fight like NHL players although they allow players to hit each other more “creatively”.

Alcohol is everywhere since on every street corner and in every store you can get huge varieties of vodka and beer. Men (and sometimes women) gathered together drinking on the street seems to be a national past time here and it often leads to many scenes of public intoxication. Unfortunately because of this there is usually a great deal of broken bottles and litter on the streets. Fortunately they have public cleaning crews that clean the streets early in the mornings.

Russian people love to party, sing and dance and will make their own music if needed. You will never be with a group of people in your life who know how to cut loose and have a good time like Russians do (I have been to Australia and I can still say this). But at the same time they love to talk politics and culture and can be extremely opinionated people. They know what is black and white and they know what is wrong and right. I discovered that you will get along just fine with them as long as you acknowledge that everyone else is wrong and they are right!

Russian people generally have a very cool and collected exterior that contains either a comfortable warmth or a burning inferno of inner emotions. Their language is similarly complex and it is the perfect medium for them to express this emotional depth.

Coupled with all of this is a lethal combination of intelligence and cultivation which a close American friend of mine once described by saying, “We have a lot to learn from these people.”

I could go on for days describing Russia but the most striking thing that Russia has is it’s mystery which many generations of outsiders have also recorded throughout history. Like it’s people, Russia has a mystique to it that is unlike any other country that I have ever visited. Russians themselves will also tell you this because even they think it’s a mystery!

The mystique of Russia reaches far beyond it’s borders and even into America. I know this because if I told my friends that I was going to Europe they would yawn and say “have a good time.” However the moment I told them I was going to Russia they looked at me as if they had just seen a UFO land in their backyard and said, “Whoa! Your going to Russia?!”. I was tempted to tell them “yes” and that I was going to take a ride on that UFO to get there.

Russia, like it’s women, is a huge mystery because one moment it reaches out to embrace you with all the love in the world… And then in another moment it can reach out to squash you like a bug. That is probably why everyone here affectionately calls this country “Mother Russia”.

21. How do I court a Russian Lady?

Courting a Russian lady is like going back to a simpler and nobler time. I’d recommend that you dust out your archives and find out what gentlemen did to profess their undying love to maidens in waiting and I’m quite serious about this. Since you are an American man you are going to have to forget everything you think you know about (modern) women and go back to knowing what it was like to be a real man.

I’m not going to give you any details for a reason and the reason is simple. You first have to find your inner man again and get reacquainted with him since he’s probably been “Missing In Action” for a long time. You will need to re-discover the manly wisdoms of old by reconnecting with that warrior, teacher, or healer that’s within you.

You will have to know that being a deserving husband to a deserving wife is a natural extension of this identity and your God given right. But most importantly you will have to claim all of this as your own. You are going to have to go out and climb this mountain to get the one woman you have desired in your life. She’s here and she’s waiting for you. But always remember that she will not suffer fools or charlatans.

This journey will be about how much tenacity, tenderness and heart you have because doing this is not going to be easy and nothing worthwhile is. But for the few men who do this right their happiness is beyond compare.

I can personally say that if you actually have the initiative to fly over here you will see what I have seen and you will never be the same. You will immediately ask yourself one of two questions, “How long can I stretch this trip out?” or “How soon can I get back here again?” Furthermore you will never look at the women you were used to the same way again.

In the immortal words of a friend of mine who greeted me at the airport the first time I returned from Russia, “Welcome back to American. Now your screwed.”

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251 Responses to FAQ

  1. english_gentleman on 10/13/2006 at 8:08 pm

    Too true. Courting a Russian woman is like courting in the west fifty years ago. I am finding this courting refreshing in a way, and the words you use are spot on. I will do whatever I need to do to win the heart of this most beautiful woman(inside and out) I have ever met.

    • harry03man2luvu on 06/10/2009 at 3:47 am

      If you do, I’m sure you will really win over her. So inform us if you do. I will try my luck by following same strategies to win on my Russian lady of my life.

  2. rw_man on 10/14/2006 at 4:31 pm

    Hi English Gentleman,

    Welcome aboard Sir.. and thank you for your kind words of endorsement. Thank goodness there’s still a place in the world where we Men can remain courtly eh? :)

    Anyways please tell your friends about us and please impart more of your comments too! Plenty to read and to ponder here.

    Cheers.. GL

    • john on 12/28/2011 at 2:23 am

      Been happily married to a Moldovan woman for 14 years on New Years Eve! If anyone has any questions, I’d be happy to give my 2 cents worth!

      • wolf727 on 07/18/2013 at 6:37 pm

        I’m confused.

        I like the sound of the Russian language, I like their music, figure skating and how Putin is standing up against the corrupt cabal of western banking and political elites but… when it comes to Russian women I am extremely suspicious and wary of them.

        Why do I feel like that? I was 5 years living in Italy and when you ask many Italians their opinions on the many Russian women coming to Italy to live, nearly all of them have very negative thoughts about them.

        There are countless stories of Russian women going to Italy, seducing men, making them fall in love and in the end the men have their family businesses destroyed and their money taken.

        Russian women have been known to wreck families and businesses in Italy. I have often spoken to Italians I have met asking them about Russian women and it has always been the same story, stay away from them if you want to keep your wallet.

        Now here in England if I ask people of Russian women the comments are more or less the same, stay away from them, they are ‘hard’ and after your money. I have one guy I know who is a real womaniser – I do not like him very much – but even ‘he’ will tell me to stay away from Russian women.

        And to make matters worse, I have a brother in Italy who is in love with a Russian woman and we have problems – she seems to follow the negaitve traits. So obviously my feelings are coloured by negative experiences – I am aware of that – but it has been hell.

        One can argue that I am falsely depicting all Russians in a bad light just because of one experience. But it cannot be a coincidence that when one asks Italian men in general or some of the people here in the UK what they think of Russian women, the response has mostly been, be very careful, they are hard, they are after your wallet, they will make you fall in love and then they will disappear after ruining you.

        I would very much like to believe Russian women have good personalities such like those I have read on websites describing them but to be perfectly honest, I cannot ignore the many stories that are told to me nor the general impression people have on Russian women and my own personal experience with my brother and his Russian woman.

        All the other general description about the character of Russian women on traditional courtship etc., that does not bother me at all. What does concern me is, is it in her Russian nature to play with my emotions making me believe we are in love only to discover she was out to screw me financially?

        If that is not her nature, then why have I met men who have warned me about Russian women? There seems to be a pattern here that one cannot simply say does not exist.

        I did not mean to be so negative but I had to get that out and would like your thoughts on this.

        Many thanks.

  3. english_gentleman on 10/14/2006 at 7:03 pm

    Thank you GL, I can tell that you are a spiritual person. I visited my lady in Russia for the first time in September, after e-mailling, sending flowers, writing and sending Russian letters to her mail-box, and a few telephone converstions with her, since April of this year. I stayed for two weeks in her city in a rented apartment. I was shocked at first by the culture difference and soon realised I would have to,(and will still have to!) go through a traditional courtship. I have no regrets at all. A traditional courtship allows for something that is very important, and that is body language. In my case it gives me time to assess her body language and to respond appropriately at the right time. I have read on other forums about how ice cool Rusian women can be and my lady was no exception. Whatever time it takes I will be there. Needless to say, I will be going out again to visit, and court her, soon.

  4. english_gentleman on 10/14/2006 at 8:22 pm

    I would also like to add that in my particular situation the courtship, that I am pleasantly enjoying, will not be right for everyone. My lady and I are over forty and after researching what has occurred in her country, over her adult life, and the fact that we both have had broken relationships, we will not be rushing in to things. Each case will be different, but for me I know where my destiny lies.

  5. rw_man on 10/15/2006 at 7:05 am

    Hi english gent..

    I wish you all the luck in the world my friend with your courtship please keep us posted.

    It’s a NICE feeling to know your destiny isn’t it? To have that level of certainty and direction as a Man is indeed a precious thing.

    Cheers! GL

  6. Ben Lee on 10/25/2006 at 12:52 am

    What do women in Russian , Ukrainian and other countries in that area feel about Africian Amercian men. When I view all the tour sites i never see any Africian American men. Plus some women have in their preference white/eruopean men. I would hate to waste money on a tour just to be shot down. I also notice a lot of tall women , I a 6’5′ tall 55 years old and still in the Military Reserves so I am in very good physical shape.

    • Michael Cahoon on 05/27/2011 at 4:41 pm

      Ben I am 5’7″ white and out of shape though close to your age. I would trade with you in heart beat. No i wouldn’t, but my point is we all have challenges. You are intelligent and it shows. Be a gentleman and I think with right woman anywhere you would be fine. Thanks for your service and good luck.

    • Greg on 10/20/2011 at 5:45 am


      Because there are not many African Americans in Russia and ignorance of something tends to make people slightly fearful, I’d say most Russian women are not into them. But my wife, who tells me all her girlfriend’s secrets, has suggested to me that the 15% or so of Russian women who would date a black guy would prefer to date a black guy to a white guy. In other words a minority actually find you more sexual attractive than a white guy. Since African American men are rare this means you’ll be highly sort after by those women.

  7. rw_man on 10/25/2006 at 2:26 am

    Hi Ben Lee,

    Welcome aboard. Completely depends on the woman.. I’ve met more then a few ladies here who would love the idea of meeting and dating an African American. Black Men are extremely rare over here so if you come be prepared to feel like a celebrity as everyone wants to have their picture taken with you. Also Wesley Snipes is a big star here and if you even remotely have his shape.. well you get the idea..

    Because of all the media attention on MTV and Movies American Black Guys are treated like exotic Men with many people. Certainly there is racism here as is everywhere but overall the few black guys that I’ve met had very few problems.

    Aside from race the best thing to realize is how anyone carries himself from a cultivation standpoint. If you are viewed as a “high status” man then regardless of your nationality this will be of great benefit to you. Good Luck! GL

  8. stuart on 02/07/2007 at 1:17 pm

    sorry everyone to dissappoint you all,
    I can say with absolute certainty that FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE OF LIVING IN RUSSIA ……….. . I’m 43, tall, handsome intelligent and available and have a good income and am single and kind and gentleman, clean , noncoholic or drugs ,, untatooed etc. also modest and put others before myself.
    A year here and nothing………
    Now what do you say??

    • Greg on 10/20/2011 at 5:52 am

      Try talking to women. That is always a good start. I’m uglier than the average English man, bald with a shaved head and a goatee beard and probably 30 pounds overweight, my wife is a knockout. I’ve been married 12 years, 4 children and all her friends think I am a superstar. I am 43 too. My wife is 37.

      I earn a good income. We always have money in the bank. I live in a six bedroom house but I am by no means rich, nor do we drive fancy cars or wear expensive clothes.

      Perhaps you’re trying to date the wrong sort of women. Obviously 18 year olds in nightclubs are not going to be into you. But for women over 30 you should have no problem.

      And try smiling and being humorous and self-deprecating a little. That always helps.

  9. Craig on 02/07/2007 at 4:14 pm

    I say “Go west, young man!”

    And stop when you hit Ukraine.

  10. rw_man on 02/07/2007 at 6:33 pm


    If you read my post..

    You would have read that even my buddies who are originally from Siberia but now working in Moscow cannot find a decent girl there. These guys are Handsome, Young and pretty well off financially Russian guys. Instead they come back to Siberia to find serious Girlfriends and they have.

    You are mistaken if you are going to judge all of Russia and the FSU by your time in Moscow.

    Everyone in Russia knows a common saying..

    “Moscow is not Russia”

    Open your mind.. listen to guys like Craig.. quit complaining and travel to a different area like the Ukraine for example. Especially the East side of the Ukraine. It’s all reachable within a day’s journey by train.

    Or if you are serious about this I can help you but you will need go into this with a positive attitude from the start or nothing will work out for you..

    Email me if you wish at

  11. Craig on 02/07/2007 at 7:19 pm

    I realized once that the women I am initially attracted to, in casual browsing, all have one thing in common: a certain look in the eyes. It’s hard to describe what that is exactly. It could be called a combination of warmth, depth, intelligence, perceptiveness, sensitivity, strength, self-possession … a sense that she has so much to give, but doesn’t wear her heart on her sleeve. This is very rare, and completely in the eye of the beholder, of course. (btw, the much-maligned Lena from Photos 16 exemplifies this for me.)

    So I decided to do a quick flyover at 30,000 feet to see just how rare this is. I started in Ukraine profiles. I looked through about 250 profiles, and counted 20 women who had anything like this look in their eyes, and of those, only about 5 who I would seriously consider finding out more about.

    Then I turned my attention to Russia. Again, about 250 profiles. Guess how many even came close to having this look? None. Not one.

    Most were from the big cities for some reason, and they all looked cheap and flashy. Vamping it up for the camera, loads of makeup, self-conscious and over-the-top provocativeness. Lots of bikini shots, and even some “tastefully” topless. Lots of pictures of “Look at me in my car!” “Look at me in my boat!” “Look at me on vacation in some exotic place!” “Look at ME! I’m HOT and you WANT me.”

    And their ads could have been written by an American woman. “Here’s what I expect, what you must be, and what you will provide for me. me me me”

    My scientifically invalid verdict, based on research over a couple glasses of vodka one night: Urban Russian women are American women, except with much gaudier clothes.

    • Andy G on 01/11/2012 at 12:33 pm

      I will admit that I have had more contact with Ukrainian ladies than I have had with Russian ladies, I don’t look at their dress sense as mine probably isn’t any better, but Ukrainian ladies that I have met have had knockout personalities, they are really nice ladies, from a shallow male point of view, I think that Ukrainian ladies are stunning, nice figures, pretty, they tend to look after themselves, they keep fit, live a healthy lifestyle, they have lovely personalities & they always seem to be positive in their attitudes to life.

      I have tried dating agencies, although I’m not sure how I’d get along as I have never been successful in relationships, but I would love to meet up with a Ukrainian lady even just for friendship. My preference seems to be more for a Ukrainian lady than a Russian.

  12. Jim on 02/19/2007 at 8:03 am

    To Craig, Seems to me that you would be unhappy no matter where you were looking. Just relax a bit and trust one of these ladies for a few years. not everyone is out to get you.

  13. David Smith in Tampa on 02/26/2007 at 11:48 pm

    RW, i have noticed a lot of sites on the web relating to exposing “scams” concerning russian women. some of them list names and photo’s of the women who have been caught. do you have a favorate or know of a “good” site for checking on women we may be in contact with-? perhaps a central database-? of scammers-???
    thanks, Dave

  14. rw_man on 02/27/2007 at 4:24 am


    I somehow missed this post you made way back when and it’s got some interesting point is it. That’s why I always say that probably 99% of the Women in RU are not a part of any agency because of various issues related to not wanting to be seen as a commodity.

    Thanks again for your post..


  15. rw_man on 02/27/2007 at 4:26 am

    Welcome Back Dave,

    I really haven’t spent anytime keeping up with that aspect of which sites you are talking about. I’m sorry I can’t offer you any more help here so you will just need to play that one by ear. Good Luck..


  16. Dave in Tampa on 03/06/2007 at 10:10 pm

    Hey GL, hows it going-?
    is there a way to check a Russian e-mail address-?
    not the server, as in but the actual e-mail address, like we can do with yahoo, MSN, ect. in order to see who the e-mail addres really belongs to. i know the name it is registered to could be false but it is a way to start to verify some of the women i am in contact with. thanks, Dave

  17. rw_man on 03/07/2007 at 3:17 pm

    Hi Dave,

    I don’t know any automatic ways to doing this but I may be able to help you find out what’s actually going on through my own efforts. Drop me an email at

    Cheers GL

  18. Luke Skywalker on 03/14/2007 at 11:15 am

    “It was initially hard for me to believe that Russian women could do this until I actually experienced the hidden remote control unit that my girlfriend at the time had secretly planted on me.”

    GL, did this really happen? I’d like to hear more about this story. “Remote Control Unit” is somewhat of a vague term. I’d like to hear more about the specific nature of the device that your girlfriend planted on you.

    More importantly, is it often that Russian women plant devices on people?


  19. rw_man on 03/14/2007 at 7:15 pm


    Re-read this link to understand what I’m saying here more deeply about a real woman’s remote control powers..

    Have Fun.. GL

  20. Luke Skywalker on 03/15/2007 at 9:10 am

    So you were using it as a metaphor.


  21. ECM on 04/28/2007 at 8:43 am

    I felt like commenting on this thread from my experience. 3-4 years ago I remember being told to dress-down because I was making the executives look bad. Last year I was told to drop below casual business dress to support the Hawaiian theme we were running at the time within one our companies even though I felt it was inappropriate for executives. 6-8 months ago I was criticized by an AW for wearing a suit, tie, and dress shoes to an interview because I was told beforehand normal apparel would be casual business at the client company.

    I am 36 and stopped dating AW at 19 because I was so damn sick of the attitude and victim mentality. For the last 3 years I have had an ever growing desire to find a worthy woman to have children with. Unfortunately, AW near my age have spent so much time dating “bad boys” and carry so much baggage with the entitlement attitude I can not bring myself to date them.

    The days of meritocracy are gone in the Western world for the most part. The time when good men who are stable, honest, caring, and protective and desirable are gone here. I blame both feminism and capitalism for this.

    I so desire to form a bond with a deserving lady and have children. Sad to say but I do not view that I can do this with a Western woman of any age now. I have a little knowledge of Russian language and culture. It seems to me that I have little hope unless I am to become wealthy or go to extreme lengths.

    I am not afraid of challenges. I enjoy them mostly. I would do anything reasonable to please my lady and make her look good.

    What I want to know: Is there hope for men that realized long ago that western women, for the most part, are not deserving of a good man? Will Russian women understand why a good man of my age has little experience with women?

  22. Craig on 05/30/2007 at 4:00 am

    I just wanted to say Thank you for your work in putting this site together. The ladies are more than beautiful, and I have learned a great deal. Once again, Thanks.

  23. Frank S Renzo on 06/18/2007 at 6:32 pm

    Dear Sir,
    I am writing because all tho I believe that thier still some good women in Russia.My situation is that I met a bad one.My wife and wrote to each other for over 18 mo.Then we met in Italy for 3 weeks.She seem to be the real thing.She is 55 and I am 65.She arrived in the USA on Nov.22 and we were married on Feb.10th and she left me on March 18th.She is now claming abuse and I am having to spend a lot of money to defend myseld.Can you steer me to a group that has gone through same situation as I am going through.So that I might get some help as to how to defend myself.Since our own goverment won’t do anything to help me.I never did the change od stuas for her she left before I had a chance to mail all the paper work,So any help that you might be able to give would be very helpful.
    Thank you
    Frank Renzo

  24. Manoah on 06/19/2007 at 6:18 pm

    This will sound pretty mean; but here goes. I am assuming that her claim of abuse is unjustified. File for divorce, then call immigration.

  25. rw_man on 06/19/2007 at 7:43 pm

    Hi Frank,

    Sorry to hear about how your situation unfolded. I really don’t know enough about what happened to make a comment on it unfortunately.

    However if you do decide to meet with another Russian Lady I would HIGHLY recommend that you do it IN RUSSIA and not in any foreign or exotic location like Italy that may give the wrong message to the wrong types of women.

    You may have just offered her the free express pass to Disneyland in her mind by conducting your courtship in that way.

    I don’t know of any support groups who can help you unfortunately. I just hope that you can cut your losses as soon as you can and move on to a better woman for yourself.

    Good Luck..


  26. Hero on 06/19/2007 at 10:27 pm

    That sucks, Frank. All I can say is good luck to you.

    RW_man: I realize that the answer to the following question is probably “DUH!!” but: is it a red flag when an RW asks you specifically what your income is, e.g. “Do you make more or less than $80,000 per year?”

  27. Sean in Tampa FL on 06/27/2007 at 4:24 pm

    I’ve begun an e-mail / yahoo friendship with a Russian Female from Yaroslavl. She just turned 21 for her birthday I sent her Roses. I am starting to like her and look forward to her conversations. I would like to do something special for her she will be finishing up her Exams within the next 3 days. Any suggestions on something I could do for her or send her from long distance besides Florida or Candy.

    • M on 06/01/2009 at 6:55 am

      That’s really hard to say. Russian women take their graduation pretty seriously. Whould she want flowers or maybe something more than that? Russian people usually make more expensive presents to each other than Americans. You probably might want to get her a cute Florida T-shirt or a teaddy bear or something that would introduce her to American culture. Just keep things really innocent, and if you don’t know what she likes just follow your heart. If you give her something that is too small, something like one piece of a candy, she might think that you are too cheap, just find a medium between a small and a huge present.=) I know Russian women are very curious about American clothes, so a shirt that has Florida or California letters on it, would be the best present for her.

  28. Johnny on 07/14/2007 at 5:36 am

    I appreciate you sharing your knowledge and personal experiences regarding Russian woman. I have knowledge in many areas, but absolutely zero exposure dating or communicating with Russian woman up until a month ago. Unexpectantly, I have found myself to be having some serious dialogue with a woman in Penza. If you have the time, please read below to better understand my situation. I dont expect you to feel burdoned that whatever you say is the only solution…I simply could use some honest advice.

    So I live in AZ. I am outgoing, but I utilize the online dating resources to suppliment the flow of women in my life. Out of left field, I was contacted by a woman in Penza, Russia. She found my profile on an American dating site. I must say, I started dialogue with her out of pure curiousity with no expectations whatsoever of our talks going to the next level. She sent me photos…nothing provacative just normal photos…no doubt this woman is BEAUTIFUL! She is 31 years old, has a higher education and works for a major Insurance company…starts with an A? At any rate, beauty aside I have grown to have some serious feelings towards her. We have emailed each other every day (except weekends as she uses company internet) for the past month. Our topics have covered just about everything, and she has told her parents about me…I even rec’d and email from her Mother wanting to make sure I am a good guy and what my intentions are with her daughter. I am not some lonely schmuck who cant find a girl in America so I find myself questioning my own judgement….right now my judgement tells me I am falling in love with this girl and I have not even met her! We just had our first phone conversation a couple of days ago and it melted me!

    So here is where I am at. She is telling me that she is falling in love with me and that her dream is to find a loving man to start a family with. I am 32 and have a 3 year old son, but I would love to find a loyal partner to have more children with. She wants to come to America and has presented me with options. She told me that there are 2 visas in which she could utilize to meet me. There is a tourist visa and a bride visa. She indicated the tourist visa is less complicated and probably the best option since we have never met. She told me she has saved $1800 and is willing to spend that to meet me. She told me that there are several steps to obtain the Visa…paperwork, medical examinations, meeting at embassy in Moscow, etc. She told me that this total cost will be around $1500 and that she will pay that. The only other expense after that point would be airfare from Moscow to Phoenix. She asked if we could divide the cost on airfare from Moscow to Phoenix. I am not opposed to this and feel that I can trust her, but at the end of the day how can I really trust someone I have only met on the internet…you know? I was hoping you could help educate me on expenses. Does it sound reasonable to you that she is being honest about the Visa costing $1500? Next, I have researched airfare from America to Russia. Unfortuneately, on the travel sites it will not allow me to view flight costs from Russia to America….is it a different cost to depart from Russia as opposed from US? If so, how much of a difference…I have seen some flights as low as $1000 roundtrip. Last question, Does my dialogue as I described sound to be genuine? Is it normal for Russian woman to be so willing to visit a man in America that they know nothing about? I greatly appreciate your help and hope you have some helpful insight.


    • Irina on 12/07/2011 at 8:17 am

      Hi Johnny
      I am Russian, married to an american. And I have never heard about such an expencive visa. Its not true. Call the american embassy in Moskow and ask them, how much would it cost. Or why dont you visit this girl in Russia and see who she really is? I met my husband while studing, did not have much money too back then, but I never asked him to pay for me.
      Regards, Irina

    • Evushka on 12/08/2011 at 12:14 pm

      I’m Russian living in Chicago. While reading your story I couldn’t help myself from picturing all those scam stories.
      Consider traveling to Russia to meet her and discuss it with her. It’s easier for you to get visa to Russia then for her to US. Any lady will be thrilled about her knight coming to her and not vice versa. Her parents will definitely appreciate meeting you in person and asking for her hand (if you both feel you are ready). And if she is a traditional girl ( story about her mother’s approval portrays her as a very traditional and family oriented), she would love love love for you to come to meet her and her family.
      On the other hand, if this is a scam, there will be load of reasons why you can’t come. Under any circumstance DON’T send money unless you met her in person and know she is trustworthy person.
      If you can’t travel to Russia, how about some third country which gives visas easily and closer to US. Then you will buy her air-ticket which is electronic this days and cannot be changed as far as I know. She will take care of visa expenses. Very minor in this case.
      Good luck,

    • Julia on 02/11/2012 at 4:53 am

      I can translate your skype conversations or any text within normal Christian values from English to Russian and vice versa. I guarantee quality and confidentiality.

  29. rw_man on 07/14/2007 at 7:56 am

    Hi Johnny,

    Thanks for writing in.

    I see 4 Red Flags on this.

    1. She contacted you on a dating site.
    2. You say you are falling in love with a woman you’ve never physically met which is a complete NO NO in this arena.
    3. She says she’s falling in love with you.
    4. She wants money for a visit.


    You need to go to Russia to see her first and not the other way around Johnny. There is no way you can no for sure unless you go there and see for yourself who she is and what she is all about. If she’s legit she will go out of her way without any excuses to make proper arrangements for you and she would be excited that you are taking the time to go meet “her mother”.

    No matter how sweet any woman sounds to you on the phone and on email.. it’s up to the man to go see her first in Russia and not the other way around.

    Hope this helps..


  30. Manoah on 07/15/2007 at 9:07 pm

    Hi Johnny,
    Here is a solution you may consider. That is for both of you to meet in Ukraine and take a holiday there. You won’t need a visa to go there and neither will she. She can save even more if she would consider transit by train. You both would save of the expense and time required of the visas.

    Good luck,

  31. John on 09/25/2007 at 1:14 pm

    One more thing GL. I would feel more comfortable with the over 40 women thinking she would be more mature and sincere. Where do I find her/

  32. John on 09/25/2007 at 1:25 pm

    Just noticed my original comment was deleted when I made an addition,so I will start over. I am 61, divorced for 16 years and no luck with American women. Work as superintendent in condo bldg, so when I retire I will need a place to live. Money is scarce so I can’t come to Russia, though it sounds like a good idea. Tatyana contacted me on June 4 on Love& and we have been writing daily and have exchanged photo’s(all in good taste). She is only 28 and eager to come and says all the nice emotional things a man likes to hear. I told her I can’t provide her with children and have no money and she still wants to come. When she asked for money, I told her it is not proper and she never asked again. She was in a marriage agency and said there were simple minded men and prostitution. She doesn’t like alcohol and abhors the vulgar actions of young men drinking. Sounds like a nice girl, but probably a scammer. Why is she persisting for so long? I would be more comfortable with a woman over 40. Where is she? Thanks.

    • M on 06/01/2009 at 7:01 am

      She is 28 and you are 60. She must be pretty desperate to go for you. Please look for someone who is at least 50. Many of these women just want your money. Why would she ask you for money, even when you said you have none? Sounds like there is no logic in here. She can’t find any men of her age there, because there is a shortage of nice younger men there. I double she is sincere. She wants to marry you and then get divorced, and she will get American citizenship at the end. Sounds desperate but many do that. Not all Russian women, but many of them, so you need to be careful.

  33. Khankrumthebulgar on 09/28/2007 at 8:07 pm

    Love your blog. FYI the US Census data reveals that if current Trends continue. Within 20 years 25% of US Marriages will be to Foreign Women. This is no doubt the reason Feminists are in a panic back in the US. And why IMBRA was passed. I applaud the service you are doing to the oustanding Women of Russia and American Men both seeking happiness. In this Vale of Tears.

    This is why the US media is trying to censor your view. Kudos to you, I have recommended to my younger Sons. When they are old enough to Marry to consider marriage to a fine Woman from Russia or the Ukraine. And to live overseas for a couple of years, where English is not spoken. And women are not mentally impaired with Feminism.

  34. David on 10/15/2007 at 6:16 pm

    GL is absolutely correct. You need to dust off the original manual for courting a lady.

    I was in Russia in March and July 2007, courting one girl, in Yoshkar-Ola. I resonded to some things in a way that would seem normal here in America – and it did not work out well with her.

    Russian girls are proud but also very delicate. You have to use great care and sensitivity in order to have a successful relationship there.

    Russian women are completely different from American women.

    David Merwin

  35. brownraider on 12/18/2007 at 11:05 am

    My wife is from Yoshkar-ola and I lived there with her…. I gave my wife lots of attention and gave her small gifts and flowers every two months, i wrote her everyday… since we went through a small agency there were other guys writing her, but i guess i did something right with good old fashion attention and romance, as i am the one married to her now. my wife is an extremely good looking woman, that wears no make up… she told me later after we ere married that there were 17 other guys vying for her attention writing her letters…

  36. Dave on 02/24/2008 at 6:24 am

    I am 30 year old male and I have been dating a young 21 year russian women for 8 weeks. She is here on a student visa and plans to stay too further her education in accounting. She has alot of qualities I prefer but she is cold and blunt. I do everything too impress her but she seems like it’s a common thing for her. I like to please, so it didn’t bother me at first but now it’s getting on my nerves. I can tell she comes from a weathly family and is used to getting her way. I have broken up with her twice already and she still wants to be with me. My question is should I stay and hope it gets better or leave? I understand she is new to this country and I would be freaked out if I went to a foreign country. I hope she improves in the communication department. Any suggestions?

    • joe on 10/29/2010 at 6:24 pm

      i hoped it worked out for you Dave. those russian women are great family woman. you might not think it by listening to them but it is the thinking of russian people to be blunt. i spent over two years with my love and it took some time to get used to the cold way these woman are. if she keeps coming back to you dont let her go you will be the fool.

  37. rw_man on 02/25/2008 at 5:30 am

    Hi Dave,

    I don’t think this girl is for you given what you’re telling me but if you think there’s a chance then I’d highly recommend that you set down some serious ground rules and for her in order to keep you as her boyfriend.

    Just politely talk to her and say look I’m sure you will do fine here in the US on your own if you choose that but if you want to be with me then we will need to change some things etc..

    Come up with a mental list of things you want changed and just lay it out politely.

    If she violates it then just start walking.. She’s either going to wise up and come around or she’s gone.. Either way you will be a better off man for establishing your position and moving on if you need to.

    Good Luck, GL

  38. Len on 03/07/2008 at 4:05 am

    I have come across a young russian woman on Craigslist personals lately.

    We have e-mailed 4/5 times (w/pics) and her letters were long and seem very genuine(??).

    From the first one she sent it stated she was coming to the US on a work visa and was getting the paperwork together at the time. She said she could choose anywhere she wanted and the “agency” would send her there, and everything will already be paid for. Even suggestions on where to work.

    All she says that she wants is to meet a “kind” man. She’s shared all these “dreams” about having a better life and to meet her man. She just wants someone to “meet” her at the airport so she isn’t alone in a strange place.

    I haven’t said anything out of place to her. Like I’ll do it…or your hot…or you can live with me…..or anything other than be careful out there….and take your time getting to know whom your dealing with…

    Of course when she finally gets her travel papers she will “send” them to me to see when/where/whatever.

    Yes…she is HOT and seems sweet and genuine and blah, blah, blah. HELP!!!!!!

    If the $$$ issue comes up then I’ll know. What if she actually comes???????????????? Can I trust it then ??

  39. R_G_D on 06/12/2008 at 5:52 am


    Ever feel like you just woke up from a nightmare that lasted about 10 years?

    That’s how I felt when I first met my girlfriend, a stunning 27 y/o raven-haired siren originally from Eastern Russia. We’ve been dating seriously for about 4 months now and for me to say she is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met would be doing her absolutely no justice.. She is everything any man could ever want and more..

    Our situation is a little different however. She was already here in the states for about 4 years when we met so she is already a bit westernized.. So sadly I don’t have the galvanizing experience of seeing Russian culture first hand yet.

    Thus in my furtive quest to learn more about Russia, and it’s women in particular I found this site and out of curiosity have been discussing some of your posts with her..

    Suffice it to say that if I had a dollar for every time she burst out laughing and said to me “oh my god that’s absolutely true” we’d probably be flying out to meet her mamashka right now..

    What makes this all the more fun is that I’m a first generation child of Asian immigrants with my own cultural peculiarities. We spend a lot of time saying “YEAH WE DO THAT TOO!!!” whenever we discuss our cultures while laughing our asses off.

    I have you to thank for helping me bridge a cultural gap not only between Asian and Russian but also between American and Russian, and for giving my lady and I a wealth of things to talk about, laugh about and share..

    When we stop laughing at each other, I’d love to share some of our experiences with you sometime rw_man.. Hopefully you will find them as humorous as we do.



  40. rw_man on 06/12/2008 at 7:31 am

    Hello RGD,

    Your story was a heck of alot of fun to read. I’m glad you and your lovely Eastern Siberian Siren are enjoying yourselves over my reads. Obviously whatever the two of you can share about your own story the better.. By the way.. what are you waiting for.. when are you going to pop the question for her??? :)

    Have Fun,


    • AGG on 04/24/2011 at 3:35 am

      Hi GL,

      I am a native American from California and considering travelling to Russia and Ukraine to look for my future Mrs. I even consider living there for 6 months to learn the culture and language since money is not an issue for me. I’ve always have positive attitude about any situations I am in the world but Russia is a new place and I am up for the challenge. How do Russian women in general feel about native American? Thanks for your input.

  41. Ken on 06/28/2008 at 6:20 pm

    Hi, I hope you can help. I dont know who to talk to about this. I met a Russian woman about a year and a half ago and have been living together in Russia. We are engaged and getting the required paperwork. Everything was going great until 6 months ago. Then her whole personality changed. She use to want to talk on the phone and send SMS when I was away working in the oil patch. This was everyday. She use to be concerned. Now she doesnt want the phone calls when I am away working and will do everything to tell me not to call in the evening. When I do call in the evening she gets very upset. She is now spending tons of time with her girlfriends instead of me. I am at a loss. I have no idea what happened. She still wants to get married but now I am treated like a second class citizen.

    I havent changed. I still work hard at work and also in the home. I am in good terms with her mum and son and nothing seems to have changed there.

    I dont know what to think. She tells me she loves me but her actions dont follow. She is cold and distant and looks for ways to get out of the house. I have tried talking to her but she just gets very very upset and blames me for imagining everything. I hope you can help because I am losing my mind.


  42. Paws on 09/12/2008 at 7:12 am

    After reading through this site I have to say this is an extremely interesting topic and that GL creates a refreshing, poignant blog. Very well done.

  43. rw_man on 09/12/2008 at 8:45 am

    Hi Paws..

    Much thanks for your endorsement especially since it seems like you’ve taken the time to read through this entire site. :)

    Please feel free to tell any relevant story or contribution on your part as well.

    Good luck to you..


  44. Paws on 09/12/2008 at 9:18 pm


    I will read something 2-3 times before I comment on it and when I came across your blog, I had to stop and do a “What you talkin’ bout Willis?” Most of what you are saying seems counter-intuitive in our society. We are in a culture that revolves around self-interest and instant gratification, and like I said your take on things refershing to say the least.


  45. rw_man on 09/13/2008 at 5:55 am

    Different Strokes for different folks :) I love it! Well the same applies here and you are starting to see that i think from the blog. Cheers.. GL

  46. Simo on 09/28/2008 at 10:13 pm


    Brilliant, insightful & definitely helpful!!!

    Thanks GL & my best regards,


  47. Kristin on 12/20/2008 at 7:37 pm

    I stumbled across this blog the other day and while I find it very interesting I must say part of it put a bad taste in my mouth. I know this blog is dedicated to how wonderful Russian women are and as my uncle just this past thanksgiving having married a woman from Russia originally, I can contest that at least her my new Aunt’s account are very smart, witty, pretty, and reserved. Yes, he met her here in America, she came her on her own, at 22, to better her chances in a career, she is a financial analyst. Like I was saying though I am a little disheartened in this blog, because every time American women are mentioned, we are portrayed as staunch feminist, who are loud and rude and don’t care about men treating them well. As a young women of 20, I personally can say this in not the case for most women I interact with or myself. We still want a man who courts us, who genuinely loves us for us and shows it. Being a conservative woman, I don’t think it is right to generalize all American women as these bra burning feminist for that is not the case. There are plenty of women here who greatly appreciate and value a good man in their life and are searching for one. So men, don’t give up hope on your own country, because we are not all the same. There are truly some valuable women in this country, such as myself, that have the same characteristics that those Russian women that are celebrated to possess.

    • Onto on 02/04/2011 at 7:30 pm

      Not once did you mention what “you” would do for a good man. Only what you wanted him to do for you. ’nuff said.

    • Michael Ray on 07/26/2013 at 3:27 am

      If there are women the like of which you describe, then surely please and quickly tell me where they are hiding. I have been dating for years, met many types of women, yet have never met an American woman who was NOT self-absorbed, was NOT overly prideful, was NOT extremely defensive, and was NOT offended at the drop of a hat. Furthermore, I have yet to meet one who values love and her man above the television, her smartphone, and her fierce walls of independence. I have rarely though ever met a radical feminist. I have however met feminist women, and the dictionary defines the difference. I find no fault in a woman wanting to be an equal. There IS no fault in that. But I am addressing personality here. Bear in mind that we men also desire to be treated as equals and I have found that American women can be pretty haughty and indifferent when it comes to what a man wants. Fulfilling his needs seem to come after American Idol is over and after she’s talked for 4 hours on the phone and texed for another hour. I have a normally healthy ego and consider myself a prince of a man because of my integrity and character, my ability to romance, my good morals, and I know how to cherish a woman. Having published 6 books, your comments inspire me to write a short book about all this. They also inspire me to create a gentleman’s club with strict rules about how each gender should behave, what their character should be like, and then go from there in getting people together. While I truly believe in courting to a degree, and am in personal contact with a Russian woman currently, I have to mention that she is the more careful one and wants to take much time getting to know me. That’s fine with me, but she IS very loving and straight-forward and I like that. She emails me every day now using gmail. It will likely not work out though since I’m very spiritual and it’s been stated that God is not a priority to Russian women. She never speaks of spirituality. In closing I do want to say that I notice in your essay that you are centered on what women want from men, but I don’t find anything about women sacrificing for men. You do come across as being “what can we women get out of this?” I view a relationship as 50/50. Not 60/40, not 100/100. Why not? Because I don’t think American women have it in them to give that. They are just too busy with self-gratification and not owning up to their own character defects, their mistakes, and it’s not entirely their faults. The media and society is pumping the subconscious with so much of how a woman should be. Now if I’m wrong, and you know where such loving, caring, and giving women (and feminine) as you describe are hiding out on a mountaintop, please let me know. I would be indebted to you and very grateful. Now please understand I mean no disrepect to you, nor do I mean to offend you. In truth, I could use your help… from one good man to one young valuable woman. You can find me on facebook.

  48. Kristin on 12/20/2008 at 7:38 pm

    must also say about my aunt she has been here for 10 years before they met, she is currently 32 and my uncle 42

  49. Richard on 12/20/2008 at 10:34 pm

    I respect your statements partly because you are quite young and maybe in part because you view yourself as a conservative, but there is a world out there that even my generation refuses to acknowledge, mostly because of American apathy and self centeredness. That world is the forced agenda of numerous minority interests which include to no small degree radical feminism.
    In the 50s and 60s when this “movement” took root, the average NA woman believed that she was doing her part for society by being a loyal wife, loving mother, meticulous homemaker, and much more. She was happy, content, fulfilled and most of all complete.
    Then a handful of under achieving, outspoken and overly rude women took a socialist/communist view of the “plight” of women and labeled them as indentured servants, trapped in drudgery, and unable to speak for themselves. The daughters in a typically rebellious fashion of adolescence found new hope in the radical voices rather than in the stability and comfort of their mothers.
    Fast forward fifty years and we find ourselves in a rebound of feminism where even staunch feminist claim to have nothing to do with such ideologies. Nothing could be further from the truth.
    One close acquaintance of mine in Seattle, a professional woman in her mid forties, often speaks down to the entire feminist movement as something which never really existed and further denies any connection to those beliefs. Twice divorced, bringing in thousands a month in support and maintenance from her ex’s she lives a lifestyle she couldn’t possibly afford on her own income. Her jokes and discussions are almost always about “what some MAN has done that she would never be able to get away with” or her problems getting money from an ex who is nearly destitute because most of his income goes to her.
    I won’t accuse you of being blind or dumb and I won’t run you down because we see the world differently. Please just realize that you do speak from a point of somewhat limited life experience. There are many ideological stands which I held at your age that have become clearer to me since. While my core beliefs have not changed much, my realistic understanding and acceptance of certain things are much more focused now, and I believe that over time yours will be the same.
    The clear evidence in North America today shows an almost undeniable shift away from family values and the sanctity of marriage. I can’t imagine any sound argument against that reality. If it were mostly men who are forcing this shift, what would their motivation be? Loosing everything they have, being removed from the lives of their children, being left to decide between food and rent?
    Many men today are clearly bitter and some on this site are quick to generalize regarding the women of NA these days, but they have a right to do so. To some degree because they have personally suffered from this state of affairs and also because we all have a right to openly express our thoughts and opinions, just as you do.
    If there were so many women of virtue in our society today, both young and old, we would not see this site or any others like it. It is from need that such forums spring to life. While you may actually be a virtuous woman and also those who you associate with, remember that you are the minority by today’s standards. That makes you more desirable and I hope that in this light you maintain your beliefs and values despite the world in which we live. Your parents have my gratitude and you have my respect and prayers.
    Warm thoughts and blessings for the holiday season and the future,


  50. Hero on 12/20/2008 at 11:11 pm

    Yeah, but Kristin, there just aren’t enough quality American women to go around.

  51. Kristin on 12/21/2008 at 5:46 am

    Dear Sirs,
    I respect and fully agree that the sanctity of marriage is in shambles and shame on American for loosing it’s moral standing. Watching what we are going through in this country now it is very self evident that is falling apart.

    Though I am young, I have always been highly educated, with parents who held political discussions with me since I could basically talk and still have a strong moral, ethical, and yes religious base in my life. The lack of these in society is why our country is having so many problems today. Trust me sir that I am no fan of communism or socialism and will be ready to speak out against anything that threatens our countries democratic capitalistic system.

    I do not disagree with you gentleman, that there are women today that go after men for their money, that don’t value a marriage (neither do a lot of men) though, this is not exclusive to just America. This own blog warns about women in Russia on those sites that are just after your money.

    Having taken a class about relationships between men and women at my University, I know the history behind feminism (especially living with a strong liberal supporter of one, though her fiance loves it being liberal himself) and how relationships have changed. I do not need a historical lecture on this, besides history is one of my favorite subjects.

    This does not however, change the fact that there are decent women such as myself here that would love for a man to court us, show us respect and value and have the same morals we do. You might see me as young but I have male friends,like you guys, that are 39 and 40s whom I have great mature conversations with. Although, this probably due to being an only child where the closest relative is 20 years older than myself. Anyway, Just because I am a 20 year old American woman, why am I any different from the 20 something Russian women you are seeking?

    I do not hold myself to be ideological, I’ve always been know to be straight to the point, or I probably wouldn’t have spoken up here. I have not been so lucky to have not experienced hurt by men here as well, but that does not make me hate or point fingers at men, I learn from it. I learn how I do not want to be treated by a future husband, and what to look for in a partner. If I took your stance in taking all that hurt and giving it reason to dishearten me to men in America, I would have moved to another country by now too, but guess the Irish stubbornness in me prevails.

    In fact, I myself have been in a long distance relationship for a year and half of the two years I have been dating him, he is also 25. So not all women here want a two year age difference as I read on a comment. For those women that are mature at young ages, older men (though I know 25 is not old) match us better on almost every level.

    I am just saying that yes I understand your grievances, but please do not generalize all American women, which has been the case on this blog. As for that friend of yours who has blamed men for her problems, don’t be so hypocritical in thinking you men on here aren’t doing so much the same.

    I am not trying to get into NAW vs RW debate for I would rather the men on here just look at love and life not so segregated, for all societies have good and bad women and men.

    Thank you for your prayers, Lord knows we can’t have enough. I pray that you all of you find love and happiness wherever it may be.

    Ps. I work for a blog myself, though not as popular as this one I am sure, the link should be attached if any are so interested.

    • L. Gaines on 11/02/2011 at 7:24 pm

      Kristin, I agree with you. There is more to a woman than looking beutiful and having you dinner ready. There is more to us than that.

  52. Kristin on 12/21/2008 at 6:20 am

    hey I posted another comment on here but isn’t showing up, what’s with that?

  53. Open Arms on 12/21/2008 at 6:46 am

    On Feminism:

    You know, there seems to be a lot of talk about feminism here. Personally though, I am not an anti-feminist. At the same time, I understand that feminism has played a role in the decline of America as a whole. But I am not here to blame feminists or bash American women like it seems some people do. To me, there are many causes for the bad state of affairs in America right now, just as there are many things driving my decision to look for a wife abroad. I am young and I (thankfully) have not been burned by bad relationships yet. I have had disappointments, but so has everyone else. Sure, dating in America is tough right now, and there are many reasons for that. But I am not the kind of person to blame others if things don’t go my way.

    I personally like living in America. Not always easy, especially trying to search for a job right now, but life was never intended to be that way. Someone once said that the best things in life are the things you have to work hardest for and I agree. If you want a happy family, good career, and a loving wife, American or otherwise, you have to make the effort to obtain that. Life isn’t fair or equal. Deal with it and move on! I am constantly trying to improve myself in many ways, but it doesn’t mean I will be perfect. Everyone is entitled to their own idea of happiness, as long as that does not come at the expense of someone else’s happiness.

    This whole “phenomenon” of searching for a foreign bride comes essentially from two things. The first is the physical existence of a very real population disparity in both America and countries in the east (mostly FSU countries). More men than women in America, and the reverse in the FSU. Factor in the number of “good, traditional, available” men and women, and the disparity is even bigger. If you want a better chance at a successfully finding your life partner, you will naturally go where the numbers favor you.

    The second thing is what I refer to as the “cultural divide.” To me, this is a better explanation of the American woman vs. Eastern woman debate. In America, we are more individualistic and strive for self actualization through our own efforts. In the East, people are more communal and focus more on the family and helping each other achieve success. American women are told they are successful if they compete with men to climb the corporate ladder to have that great career. Eastern women are told they are successful if they find a good husband, have children, and raise that great family. If an American man wants to have that loving wife and family (as most of them do), then an Eastern woman is a good choice.

    Of course this is just a generalization. In fact, most people marry in their own country and culture. Obviously, there must still be good American women and Eastern men available. It just so happens though, that there are less of them every day. Also, marrying foreign is just not an option for some people for different reasons. Again, life is not easy; it takes a great deal of patience, sacrifice, and effort to marry someone who knows very little of your life. But the rewards are great for those few men and women that actually do it.

    My point is that everyone is free to choose how they want to be happy. A woman is not “bad” if she chooses a career over family. Just as long as she realizes that she probably will have to give up raising kids or find a man who will do it for her. To me, that is not an ideal marriage or family, but to each his/her own. I am not blaming these women for their choice, just as they should not blame me for mine. I wish everyone good luck in finding their true happiness, whatever that looks like. If I find a quality woman in America, great. If not, I know where to look.

  54. Kristin on 12/21/2008 at 8:01 am

    Also one more thing, if this is a whole nice guys finish last thing, so do nice girls.

    But in my humble opinion, both truly win in the end.

    • Michael Ray on 07/26/2013 at 4:14 am

      You’re a very unique girl. I wish you were my friend. I believe you actually do know what it means to have humility, something I think is going the way of the dodo in this country, along with shame. So many people have their noses so high in the air, it’s difficult to find a good friend man or woman. Everyone seems to have their own little circle of friends and won’t let anyone in. But that’s not what I wanted to comment on. Excuse my digression. You see, Being spiritual, I believe that there is no win or lose while we’re here. Even in war as you know well, there is no win or lose. Everyone loses. I usually like to remark to people that General Lee and General Grant both prayed to the same God that they would win the battle. What must God have been thinking about that? Yet another good topic for a book I should write. In the physical world, what has anyone really won? Someone may have hurt feelings or a damaged body, but you are quite correct when you say that in the end, both truly win. We’re all here for just a brief instant in the light of eternity. And I’ve written a book proving eternity is alive and well. So there really is no “end” since death is just a stepping stone. We all win in the end if we are believers. So stated the Son of God, and I believe Him. In my humble opinion, from my reading of you through your words, your age is far from a stumbling block. You’ve got it together more than most people I’ve ever known, and you’re a fine example of a “good woman” as described earlier concerning men. The more I read of what you write, the more I want to read. That’s one sign of a great writer. I would urge you to consider writing a book. Amazon will publish it free for kindle. I fail to see why you haven’t already and why you are on blogs. You have a lot to offer this world, and to the man you end up with. Having been a writer for over 30 years, I’d be glad to edit your work at no charge. It would be a gift to this country for everyone to hear your words, to hear your heart. People with rash “Yankee mentality” (as I call it) would likely say I’m hitting on you. But that’s not the case. Our ages are too far apart. I guess I’m just trying to say I admire you now that I’ve read more of your essays. The man you end up with will have a treasure.


  55. Richard on 12/21/2008 at 10:30 am

    I’m sorry if you took my comments negatively. It certainly wasn’t a personal attack on your credibility. To see your response which seems quite defensive surprises me, actually. You are articulate and opinionated and for that I trust you to be educated and intelligent, and I respect your views whether I agree with them or not.
    Though my words might question or challenge a point of view, they only intend to offer up other perspectives and possibilities. The value I find in sites like this is an open sharing of thoughts and ideas. Hopefully that respect is shared and returned.
    Regarding some of the particular points which you have defended, we are almost entirely on the same track. I absolutely agree that there are fine women everywhere in the world including NA, and also that gold digging leaches are not exclusively found between the Mexican border and the Arctic Circle. We also agree that the moral fiber of America has been steadily eroding, and I think it is almost nonexistent in our current culture. We seem to agree that the lack of these ethical standards is a root cause of the decline in our social structure. I would further agree with you that there is no difference between a 20 year old American girl with high morals and standards such as yourself and a Russian girl with the same personal views. In fact, you would be even more desirable to most NA men by mere proximity.
    As far as being ideological, even though you may not think of yourself in those terms your writing would suggest otherwise, and I personally consider that a very good thing. If you are not such, it would be one of the first times I have ever encountered a person of your age and education who wasn’t. What’s more, being ideological or being straight to the point are not two mutually exclusive tendencies. I would rather consider them almost one in the same. Ideological people tend to speak their mind and people who speak their mind are generally pretty ideological. We should use what we learn to establish firm convictions and unshakable base lines for our lives and that would seem to include our moral, ethical, political and most importantly spiritual stands. To me that sums up our ideology in a nutshell.
    On the subject of feminism, if you are as you have said, highly educated and a fan of history, then you would be well aware that the women who founded the feminist movement were nearly all staunch supporters of socialism and most believed strongly in a true, Marxist form of communism. (By the way, I made no inference that I considered you to hold such beliefs.) But that lead in to feminism is a small part of a more insidious move away from traditional family values which include such destructive changes as affirmative action and quota hiring, the expulsion of any spiritual references in schools, cavalier views on abortion, parody for straight and homosexual marriage and a lot more.
    As our nation succumbs to an ultra-liberal, anti-family and immoral mind set, good marriage partners become almost impossible to find. Surely it is not entirely the fault of money grubbing “feminazis” bent on destroying our world. I understand that. But please accept the math. Sixty percent of NA marriages fail in less than five years and over seventy percent of the women coming out of these marriages are being entitled by the courts with more than half of their former spouse’s income. If statistics offer us nothing else, they can at least track our past and hopefully guide us to a more realistic future. While I know that statistics can be skewed at times, some numbers seem to consistently point back to one source. In this case, it doesn’t seem to matter where I get my information. All sides seem to be saying the same thing. The men’s side is constantly complaining about it and the women’s side is constantly bragging about it.
    I think your perception of “my stance on using all of the hurts in life to dishearten men to NA women” is inaccurate. It is also inaccurate to call the men here, myself included, hypocrites when the numbers bear out the frustration and animosity you see. If you read through the archives here you will see that I use the word “most” quite often and the word “all” quite sparingly. My generalizations come from life experience and are not ever meant to say ALL of a given group. When I say that “most” NA women have given up on their femininity and dignity, I do not mean every woman in North America. I do however mean ‘most’ as in the majority of them. When I see proof to the contrary, I will gladly accept it.
    My friends are almost all between 28 and 40 years old. I’m 55. Two of the past three years I have hosted and mediated a ‘college and careers’ group in my home for young people who attend the same church as I do. There are many honest, value based, young men and women in our country and there are many more who have a great deal of hope for the future. It excites me to know this. But just as we will not all live 80 or 90 years, some will also fall from their views on what life is about and become some of those statistics I have been mentioning. Not because they particularly want to, but because life has sent them that way.
    I would like to make a final point about education. It doesn’t really matter how learned your parents are or where you went to school. Your major, your electives and your socio-political activities are nearly irrelevant to this statement. Life and life alone is the most valuable educator in the world. As children we go to the schools our parents send us to. Some are better than others but it is not our choice. In high school we may get a little more say, but ultimately it is still being laid out in front of us in most cases. The first year of college is little more than an advance on our senior year of high school as we learn a more mature and slightly more independent direction as a student. But we choose a major and the school still primarily tells us what classes we will take.
    I have no desire to insult you and would not want to say that you are “just like everyone else” so please understand that this is only my opinion. I have seen more, done more, been around more and have felt more in the last 20 years than probably anyone who is twenty years old. So has everyone else my age. Thirty five years from now you WILL have a more balanced perspective on life. That’s just the way it is. Everyone who tried to tell me that same thing when I was twenty got laughed at or ignored, but they were right.

    • Michael Ray on 07/26/2013 at 5:21 am

      “As our nation succumbs” is what you wrote. I enjoy reading your essays, and respect your views. However I simply want to inject one small piece of information concerning that part of your comment. If you’ve studied any therapy at all, you’ll know that there is a basic premise that states “Whatever we think, do, and say, is a choice.” This falls under “Choice Theory.” Thus our nation doesn’t succumb. Every one of us has made choices to bring us to where we are at. The example I generally use is that we continue to elect the same type of politicians, the same parties, and we choose to be a people who sit idly by and let government run amok. You know as well as I that we’re going downhill in most areas and you spoke of that earlier. The one place I see us going uphill is in our spiritual enlightenment. This also is a choice by each individual to answer the call from a Higher Power. Thus, in my humble opinion,as a society we have chosen singularly and collectively to be what we are.

  56. Hero on 12/22/2008 at 2:18 am

    “Believe me if you cross a Russian women by getting on her bad side then you’ve got problems brother. They will give more to you then any woman you’ve ever known but their boundaries and their expectations are strictly enforced and you better know what they are. As long as you treat them like a lady you will be fine.”

    Wow, they sound just like women from the Philippines. They may look cute, but they act like little generals :lol:

  57. mark on 02/03/2009 at 8:43 pm

    This has been very interesting reading. I have met and now dating a Russian woman here in the US. I’m enjoy the cultural differences…she is very kind and loving…your site is helping me to better understand her and the difference between Russian women and NA women. More to come.

  58. cammo31 on 02/05/2009 at 12:19 pm

    I found this site last week quite randomly during a quiet nightshift and I have spent many, many hours looking through it since.
    I was raised by a feminist and was surrounded by that ideology growing up. I admired her for her independence but I began to see early on what negative effects is had on her. While some of it made her a strong, independent woman, it also left her single for the last 40 years. She spent so much of her life being harsh, angry critical and pushed away so many that really cared for her. I have never known her NOT to be protesting something.
    There have been some excellent writings from both sides and it’s caused me to reflect and at times question the many beliefs I was raised up with as a child. I don’t agree with all of what’s said on here but I share most of the ideals and thoughts.
    I am not a bitter or jaded man but like most men in North America, I’ve been dragged through the dirt by failed relationships and the government that allows a woman to take your hard earned money and half your house after a short time of living together. There’s no doubt there has to be changes to this, but my point is about my belief that there has to be something better for me in a relationship. I’m a typical Canadian guy. I’m in my late 30’s and in very good shape. I’m active, outgoing and co-workers think I’m ten years younger. I’ve found it hard finding an active, in shape woman near my age group. The younger ones that I’m closer to on a physical level are immature mentally.
    I think it’s inherent in all men, no matter how “liberated” we become, we still desire and want many of the discouraged and politically incorrect traditions of the nuclear family. I know of no man who doesn’t desire to be the head of the family. This by no means being arrogant, condescending, ignorant or an a$$hole, but simply the head of the family. How many of us joke around with our friends at work, in the garage, or in the change room before or after a hockey game about how we’d like to wear the pants in the family again? The sad thing is most of us go home frustrated because we know we’ve been suppressed for so long.
    I am in emergency services and have a stressful job. When I come home after a 12 hour day I don’t enjoy being challenged, bitched at or otherwise criticized as I walk through the door. It doesn’t happen all the time but often enough. I just want a warm smile, hug and kiss because I made it through the day without getting assaulted.
    I would never expect someone to automatically make me dinner, do laundry or clean. I’ve never believed it’s “women’s work” and never will. It’s simply a job that has to be done and if she’s at work I’d do it. I love cooking and am pretty good at it. I love it when I come home to a nice prepared meal, but it’s on a rare occasion and often because she wants something in return.
    I have a g/f who’s a nurse. At first I thought it was the perfect match as we have so much in common. Now I see her as critical, controlling and stressed most of the time. I find I withdraw more, holding back my true thoughts and feelings as my frustrations grow and tired of the challenges and fights.
    I see a lot of women in law enforcement, nursing and other emergency services. I see so many that are so focused on their careers they appear negative, controlling and extremely opinionated. I’ve seen and dated enough of them; no more.
    Since reading through this fantastic site, I wonder about really finding that amazing woman who steals my heart and makes me WANT to court, romanticize and fall in love. Seeing that there still exists a wonderful blend of traditional, sensuality, beauty, and intelligence in the world fills me with hope.
    It’s been a long time since I’ve met a woman who wasn’t jaded, spiteful, critical and loaded with tons of baggage.
    The photos are beautiful. The amazing women overflow with beauty, grace, and sensuality.

  59. Orn on 02/20/2009 at 6:52 pm

    Miss Atom 2009:,1518,608703,00.html

    I am consistently amazed and pleased by the ability of many Russian women to attain professional and intellectual success while embracing their beauty and femininity.

    I hope that many women here in the USA see this as an example to strive toward, rather than avoid.

    Спасиба GL, for your insights and the great discussion forum!


  60. Cody on 04/24/2009 at 2:04 am

    The saddest thing about this American trend is that is is a self propagating process. Just like the socialist mantra of entitlement sweeping through our formerly free market system, morals and family values are manifestations of the influence of the generation before.
    I like to help answer question on yahoo! Answers, and there are a lot of young people, particularly young ladies, that go on there to ask questions about men, relationships, and life. They’re trying to learn how to be a woman, and they haven’t been indoctrinated in to feminism yet. The sad thing is that it will be their mothers, and to an even larger extent, the public education system that will make up their minds and turn them in to young feminists.

    I may be only 20 as well, but this means I’m still in college and I fairly recent finished with the public education system. And let me tell you, federal education, with new standards and some bureaucrat waving a bunch of dollars over teachers’ heads if they teach what the Feds want them to, is a very dangerous thing. They more or less have direct control on the thoughts, ideas, opinions, and beliefs of the next generations.

    Young American ladies are screwed. Their mothers are teaching them this stuff, their teachers are teaching them this stuff, telling them what they should be believing about themselves and how to reach happiness. This is a larger problem than declining morals. The only reason young ladies have these beliefs is because of the environment in which they were raised.

    This is very much a problem, again, with our increasing inept political system. And none of it would be happening if we only respected our founding document.

    In any case, these are probably lovely young ladies, guiltless but nonetheless poisoned by their corrupt mentors.

    And, of course, the decline of the family, and then in American mores, are direct results of the scarcity of feminine ladies.

  61. JC on 04/28/2009 at 10:43 pm

    Ok, I have lived with a Russian woman for two years. She had lived here in the states for 6 years before I met her. She is beautiful, well educated, very smart, and painfully romantic. That said living with her has been like keeping a needy pet. Before she moved in she wanted to follow me everywhere and do everything I wanted to do. Since moving in she has been pouty, uncommunicative, and a general pain. Her poutiness has destroyed trips to Spain, Nicaragua, and NY City. Now she wants to tag along with me to Ecuador and I really don’t want to bring her. Frankly, even though there are many things I adore about her our relationship is like a heavy weight around my neck and I’d love to end the relationship. That said I’m afraid it will hurt her very deeply and I honestly still can’t help but feel that this is in part my fault. Any suggestions?

  62. john on 04/29/2009 at 2:08 am

    Is she being pouty because she wants to spend more time with you than you want to spend with her?

    • JC on 04/29/2009 at 2:57 am

      John, yes… that’s one of the reasons. Though honestly I think I spend lots of time with her. I work a lot but aside from that I’m pretty much with her. But yes, she’s jealous of my work and jealous of my friends. Ofcourse when I’ve tried to involve her with my friends she won’t talk and gets upset that they don’t cater to her enough. I guess you’re right though that one of our big issues is that I’m totally the center of her world and she wants to be that for me. Well, that’s not me and I honestly don’t believe that’s healthy. When we met she had friends but she dropped them almost as soon as she moved in. Since then she’s relied almost totally on me for all her emotional support. I’m a pretty good and maybe even a great boyfriend but I make a crap girlfriend.

      • john on 04/29/2009 at 3:26 am


        I understand and am fond of women with this type of nature, which they tend to reveal openly and without pretense. Of course, they are not suitable for everyone!

        And what is healthy in any specific instance depends on the needs and compatibility of the people involved (and the consequent effects).

        You two are obviously incompatible, so I think that you do need to end your relationship.

        But give me a few days to come up with a constructive answer with information that may be of benefit to her.

  63. JC on 04/29/2009 at 3:34 am

    Thanks John. The thing is that I really do love her but our relationship is just such a heavy weight on me. I don’t wish to hurt her and I’ve even suggested to her that she would be happier with someone who’s more domestic but she just keeps holding on tight. Anyhow, any suggestions would be welcome.

    • john on 04/29/2009 at 5:04 am

      JC, since you two do love each other, would you be interested in exploring the possibility of staying together?

      I think that connection and intensity are the actual issues, rather than anything like not being “domestic”. Once you have a passionate and profound relationship, you end up not sharing each other, even in the presence of others.

    • Onto on 02/04/2011 at 7:40 pm

      You are the epitome of the undeveloped American man. Stop wanting to be a boy that is free to go out a play with whomever and whereever he wants too. Grow up and be a man who’s responsible for a woman and more importantly a marriage. Real men sacrifice. Sacrifice means to give something up to make something else (marriage) sacred.

      Quite frankly, where you are right now, you don’t deserve this woman.

  64. Cody on 04/29/2009 at 4:45 am

    She really sounds like an amazing woman though. Before you drop her, maybe you could try reconnecting her with her friends, or getting her involved in local organizations, etc.
    She doesn’t have work to make connections at. It isn’t unreasonable that you are her main connection in life. I think she probably needs the same thing that you do, and just needs a kick out of the door.

    She may not like it, and there may be some tough love involved, but make sure she knows that doing other things and hanging with other people doesn’t suddenly mean you two are growing apart or the like.

    • JC on 04/29/2009 at 11:44 am

      Yep Cody, she can be an amazing woman which is why I have put up with some of her silliness. (And as an example of silliness let me point out that she was unemployed recently for almost a year, did not actively seek a job, and demanded that I do half the home chores while I was working 60+ hours per week trying to save my business in this economy) She does love me deeply but more in a clingy way, not supportive. I have been working on getting her some interests of her own. A month or so ago I mandated that she get new friends (I don’t really mind being the “center” of her world I guess it’s more the just being her “only” world that has been a burden). She has now found a couple russian girls that she has done things with the last couple weeks and talks to one on the phone. This is positive.Now that she really understands that I’m serious about pretty much being done with the relationship she is making some other changes as well. I’m not entirely optimistic but I’m hopeful. If I’d given up all hope I wouldn’t be writing you all here.

  65. Richard on 04/29/2009 at 5:07 pm

    I’d love to add some thoughts on your situation. Here’s the rub, as they say, I think you are the one who needs to do the most work if you truly want this to last.
    My age and life experience offer me a pretty wide range of possibilities to share.
    First of all, I wonder how much real, in depth communication took place before the decision was made to cohabitate. In all honesty, few of us make that choice with a clear head as we are generally allowing hormones to decide when we should start living together. I can assure you that there was some level of misunderstanding of each other’s wants, needs and desires or else you wouldn’t be where you are now.
    Next, and probably the most important thought I have is how much are ‘you’ willing to give up or sacrifice to make this work? I really don’t mean how many things you want her to try in order to become less clingy and needy. I mean how many trips and activities of yours will you put off or eliminate in order to spend more meaningful time with her? This will accomplish several things that benefit both of you. You will be able to ‘show’ her how important she is to you and also how important time apart can be to the relationship. Also, you will be able to dispel the need she has now for being with you around the clock and around the calendar. The depth and value of your time together will usually dictate the amount of time you can spend apart without one of you being concerned about what the other is doing. She may have been severely hurt by abandonment somewhere in her past and consequently has developed separation anxiety issues. You have the unique opportunity to help her through these issues, or whatever it is that troubles her about not being with you all of the time and the process will definitely strengthen both of you at the same time.
    Sending her off to old buddies as a way of giving her something else to think about or do is counter productive. It is essentially telling her that you want to wean her from you as a precursor to the ‘inevitable’ break up. Showing her the door at any level will never strengthen the two of you as a couple. The better option would be to seek out a whole new circle of friends. What is built together, withstands together. You can both keep old attachments but if either of you hope to grow as people or together as a couple, you will need to expand those horizons.
    Take some time away from ‘all’ of your activities. If the travel you have mentioned is primarily work related it is impractical to have her with you on all of these trips, however if these various journeys are just your way of sharing a life together then stop going everywhere and spend some time driving, walking, boating or swimming around home and do whatever ‘she’ lists as her priorities for time together. Believe me; it is much easier to rethink your own hot buttons than it will ever be to ask someone else to do the same for you. Most of us men hate change. That’s just how it is. But give it a try, anyhow.
    A loving relationship has only one focus and that is never on ‘self’. When you do enough for the other person, life has a funny way of repaying your efforts with an abundance of the things that bring you personal gratification.
    Then, of course, there is another possibility, which is that you will only end up calling this a learning experience. There is always the chance that none of your ideas and work will pay off, and the relationship will end. But if you fail to make every conceivable effort, then you must walk away carrying a good portion of the blame and you will never know if you were smart enough and strong enough to make a good thing better.

    • JC on 04/29/2009 at 8:57 pm

      Richard, you make some very good points that I’m going to have to think about. Thank you very much for taking this much time and thought into your answer!

      • Richard on 04/30/2009 at 6:30 am

        No worries, JC. I hope that you find what works. There is no such thing as an easy relationship. It may be that by opening up your concerns in a venue like this you can get enough feed back to rebuild the fire.
        Cheers for now.

    • Michael Cahoon on 05/27/2011 at 6:15 pm

      Richard you are a class act. You have wisdom and kindness in your posts. You take the time to think and share what life has taught you in this struggle. I admire you for your heart and mind.

      Bravo my friend and would enjoy glass of wine with you sometime.. Mike

      • Richard on 05/28/2011 at 10:16 am

        Thank you very much for the kind words, Michael. I really appreciate the support.

        It seems that I’ve reached a place in life where I truly want to share my experience with people who can benefit from it in some way. I have a real desire to see young people avoid some of the everyday pitfalls that have ruined relationships, marriages and families over the past few decades.

        Later this summer I am attending a birthday/anniversary party back east. The couple are old friends who both turn 70 this year and are celebrating 50 years of marriage. Just think about that for a minute. They came out of the war years, grew up during Bing Crosby and beatniks, got married at 20 years of age just prior to hippies and women’s lib, raised two sons and retired to northern Minnesota where they sell real estate and the husband still plays guitar in a country-rock band.

        Within the parameters of modern reality, they have “seen it all” and have certainly “been there, done that” yet they are still together, still happy, and still loving life.

        This is the sort of thing that I wish to share. Good relationships can still happen; we just have to let everyone know that this is our heart’s desire so that we can find the others who feel the same way.

        • Michael on 07/26/2013 at 5:28 am

          Consider being a “life coach.” You’d be great.

  66. michael on 06/02/2009 at 8:50 pm

    From an Englishman who is fresh faced and younger than his years would dearly love to date a Russian woman given some of the facts provided which ticks all the right boxes. I know i dont help myself as i am very selective and my best love partnerships have been Deutch so far. I believe there is a magic which is not the same as dating your own nationals and a beautiful Russian woman would restore this special magic i search for so much. Any tips would be appreciated

  67. Maja on 06/13/2009 at 10:56 am

    im a serbian women and absoulutely obbssesed with russia and the russian men in particular. On the contrary though, I heard they do not really like foreign girls. I s that true or ?

    • Kisha on 06/13/2009 at 4:39 pm

      Zravo, Maja, nemoram da kazam sta ruski muzkarci ne vole strane zene. To je laz, povrh srpkinje su sve lepotice i niste strankinje =))

  68. PaulM on 11/16/2009 at 12:56 am

    My two cents: I have been involved with, and engaged to, a very lovely woman from Kemerovo, Siberia. She has two children from her previous marriage. Our relationship has spanned over 9 years. (Her youngest daughter was only an infant when we met.) Nope….we are still not married. Tons of circumstances have fouled things up…again and again. Embassies, paperwork, COSTS (!!! ), time constraints, travel…and my job ( I am a professional Mariner.) We are together physically only a few weeks each year. We talk daily, phone, text, and E-Mail. I have taken over as her supporter, and father to her children. Although she is presently preparing to come to the states, it would not matter if I finally moved there. She would never do anything to hurt me…nor I her. I tell you this, because NEVER have I been able to invest this level of trust with an American woman. Look….I’m a SEAMAN for gosh sakes, and since becoming involved with her, I never am even tempted to cheat. Marriage or not…somehow, someway…even over expanses of time and miles…she found a way to turn me into a good, and caring, and responsible husband. What kind of magic is this? I don’t know….I don’t care. She is tough, but fragile…silly but wise…passionate but reserved….thrifty but not cheap. A great mother, great friend. She will give sound advice, but only when asked. She is never in charge…but always the boss. She is an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, followed by a question mark. Interestingly enough, she is not unique to Siberia.

    …..Just My Two Cents

  69. Bruce Beaubouef on 11/19/2009 at 4:52 pm

    Hello — Love the site (though I see it has not been updated in a while ;-)).

    I’m going to Odessa at the end of this month, and could possibly send you some text and photos as a “field report” in early December, which you could then publish on your site, if you are interested.

    I would need an email address.

    Please let me know, and please keep up the great work!

    Best regards,


  70. Michael D. on 02/27/2010 at 8:25 pm


    I am courting a woman from Russia. Or, maybe it is she that is courting me. We getting to the point of meeting. I suggested that we meet somewhere in Europe. She wants to come all the way to the US. Denver to be specific. Should I see this as a warning sign? She has been to a bank for credit and has a friend in Czechoslovakia that is willing to help fund the trip. Should I be concerned or am I just being paranoid.

    • JC on 03/02/2010 at 1:32 pm

      Well, don’t you want to meet her? Where do you see this relationship going?

      • Michael D. on 03/04/2010 at 5:50 pm

        I would really love to meet this woman. Whom, by the way, I believe I have come to know reasonably well. We would both like to move to a more. serious/permanent relationship.

    • Richard on 03/04/2010 at 3:52 am

      How much of this are you being expected to pay for? Also, is she asking you to send the money (to help pay for her visit) to her before she comes over her?
      These are definite warning signs. In fact they are HUGE RED FLAGS to a very common “love” scam.
      If you go there to meet her, do your homework and be safe. If she doesn’t want you to come there to meet her, it is probably about money and you are likely to lose it very fast.
      How long have you been writing to her? How often? Does she have free access to the internet or has she suggested that it is expensive to see if you would offer to help out with the cost?
      First rule; NEVER send money. Doesn’t matter if she sends you a picture of her travel documents or any other “proof” that she’s coming.
      Always think the worst while hoping for the best. I have not been cheated out of a dime but there have been several attempts. You are dealing with a shark infested sea when trying to find romance over seas. If you aren’t going there to scout it out, you will probably be stung more than once before you figure out that it is a multi-billion dollar scam. There is a huge organized crime system in place throughout the FSU and this sort of thing is one of their best cash cows.
      Be paranoid. It is a natural defense mechanism.

      • JC on 03/04/2010 at 2:27 pm

        A little paranoia is healthy but in this case Michael isn’t saying that the girl is asking HIM for money. It sounds as though she’s putting the money together herself and just wants to come see him.

        Honestly though if you’re interested in Russian culture there are plenty of russian women already here in the states available for dating. You might want to consider dating a russian girl who already understands what it is to live in the states before you go dragging one here from across the world. Just a thought…

      • Michael D. on 03/04/2010 at 6:09 pm

        She has not even hinted to me about sending money. We have been corresponding for three months. She is working on the visa, passport and tickets to travel to the US. I have offered to cover at least half of her expenses. She hasn’t taken me up on the offer and is still proceeding with all of the documentation. I have read so much about the scams, that I may be letting it cloud my reasoning. I would hate to see a wonderful, new relaltionship vanish because of a little paranoia.

        My heart says that she is 100% genuine and sincere. Maybe I should follow my heart.

        Thanks for your comments/suggestions. Hopefully, a long and loving relationship will come out of this.


      • Michael D. on 03/04/2010 at 6:56 pm

        My lady friend has not yet asked me for penny. We have been corresponding for three months.

        As I stated previously, we are at the point of wanting to meet.

        She has taken the reins: the visa, the passport, the airline tickets to Denver. A daunting logistical, and expensive undertaking. And yet, she has not asked for any financial assistance from me. Although, I have offered to cover at least half of the expenses. She has yet to accept my offer.

        Sometimes, I guess, we have to follow our hearts. My heart tells me that my girlfriend is 100% sincere. She is looking for a loving, trusting, life- long relationship. Which, I feel, I am able to give to her.

        Only time will tell, at this point. I am hoping for the best, for the both of us.

        Thank you all for your comments/suggestions.


  71. Michael D. on 03/04/2010 at 6:31 pm

    This wonderful, young woman and I have been corrsponding for three months. We write almost daily. She uses an internet cafe.

    Yes, as I stated previously. We are at the “gotta” meet stage. She has taken the reins., and is getting the visa, passport, airline tickets arranged, a daunting task, not to mention expensive. She has not once even hinted to my “helping” out with this. At least financially. I have offered to cover at least half of the expenses. She has not taken me up on that offer, and is still proceeding with arrangements for a trip to the States.

    Can’t say the “L” word. But, I do know that I should probably follow my heart in this. My heart says that she is 100% sincere and is looking for a loving and nurturing relationship. And, is willing to travel half way around the world to find it.

    I will follow suit. Here’s hoping that a wonderful, loving, joyous new relationship will blossom in Western Colorado.

    Thanks for all of you comments/suggestions/criticisms.


  72. Michael Mc on 03/04/2010 at 9:27 pm

    I have had many emails from girls from the FSU and i have been quite careful I even have a profile on a bonafied russian dating site and get lots of intrest. That is to say i am looking at this very seriously in finding a partner. Now i am receiving lots of emails from FSU girls who send invitation emails through english websites and to be honest i have replied to all and they are absolutely stunning girls. They use a translator service to help with their correspodance which helps where as previously i think others used pre-formatted letter replies which did not bear any resemblance to the content of my emails so this is a change. I think to myself that these stunning girls want to look elsewhere for a partner, and i know that i may be a catch but not a sucker i must point out cannot find a FSU man so why is that. I am a good looking guy in the eyes of some, young looking, very intelligent with good skills and qualifiactions due to very hard work and experienced in life and life skilss plus other attributes so this may be good reading for those FSU girls. I am always open to good advice from all quarters because maybe there is something i am missing.
    PS: Money has not been sent in fact one girl wants to visit me here in England so i will monitor that with intrest, so i am aware of potential requests coming my way.

    • Kevin on 03/30/2011 at 7:02 am

      Hi I am in the similar situation I have been contacted by a russian girl she knows i am 56 although she is 29 I have been e-mailing her for over a month she has requested to come and visit me. I refused her in thisinstance reason bieng we don’t know each other well enough. Her answert was that she totally understands and she is still E-mailing me even more so and in her writing seems as though she is falling in love although I would question this. When she first started writing her english left a lot to be desired but now when she writes it is a lot better th last time she wrote she sent a short poem. It has left my mind in a turmoil she has not made any demands on me whatsoever any advise would be appreciated as I do like what this lady puts in her E-mails and she is a stunner.

  73. Evushka on 03/04/2010 at 9:58 pm

    It seems like a scam to me. She is getting you emotionally involved deeper. Now she gets all these loans and doesn’t ask for help, then she will need to pay them back (with what?)- right, she will need your help and will make you feel terrible if you wouldn’t help her. Result – emotional black-mail, because she did it for you and now you get her into this money mess. Bla, bla,bla. You sign the check. If you meant to be together, come and see her in Russia, where she lives. She can always come to US later.
    And I agree with JC that there are plenty of Russian women in US. I’m one of them, if you live in NY, Chicago, Phoenix, any big city – you have better chances to meet Russians.

    • Michael D. on 03/05/2010 at 2:40 am

      Much of what you said has been tumbling around in my head, from the the start. Yes, I have probably been letting the emotional aspect cloud my reason. She only makes 8,000 roubles/month!! Not really enough to finance a trip to the States. But, much of the information that we have shared has/had convinced me that she is legit.

      One thing that does bother me: She will not give me a phone number to reach her at. She says she will call me, But, has yet to do so. Second: She is beautiful, and all of the photos she has sent seem to be professionally done. Not the candid,everyday photos that you would expect.

      As much as this realization is hurting. And maybe even the possible hurt feelings for both of us, I will probably have to sever this relationhip. Just need to determine the best way to do so.

      Thank you for your input.

      • JC on 03/06/2010 at 12:03 am

        Watch your pocket book but have fun. At the same time there are many russians in Denver. I live in denver, I lived with a russian woman I met in denver, and I have several fsu friends I see regularly. There are like 70,000 russian speakers in denver metro.

        The Mirage is a russian nightclub on parker road you might enjoy. There are always parties and it’s a window into russian life. You’ll also find russian girls where there’s dancing (they love to dance much more than the average american).

        And on another note.. are you studying russian language? has several language groups for russian. Check it out.


  74. miclemc47 on 03/07/2010 at 7:11 pm

    Does this make sense, anyone?
    I get alot of emails from women from the the former USSR who want me to email them to thier private email address after they contacted me throught a british dating website. So i have played along to reveal more of the skullduggery at work. Translator services and of course they want you to use western union or similar if you want to remain in contact with that lady.I was thinking of sending £1.00, thats right just a meagre £1.00 and give the translator agent the money order number. It just would be nice to be a fly on the wall to see the reaction from the receipient. Now this is the part i dont get. A correspondance channel has developed and emails are exchanged as well as photos and there is not a bombshell delivered, but on this occassion they go to the length of putting time and energy into developing this contact and then notify that they cannot write anymore and then some lane excuse pops up. What in the name of god is that hoping to achieve, i mean not even a scam of any description of which i was expecting. Who’s in the know out there as this type of behaviour leaves me flummockest.

    • Richard on 03/08/2010 at 5:16 am

      From all that I have read and seen personally, the basic contact always starts about the same. Casual contact, private email addresses, some reasons for ending contact and then (hook) the hope that we will start chasing them so that they can play on our weakness or emotions or whatever.
      Having watched this whole thing play out in the lives of men I knew well, I was motivated to follow the same course, wondering what the hell kind of scam seemed so meager. Well, from what I can track down the percentage of acceptance on our side can be minimal, which is to be expected since the scams are so pitifully weak, but when they actually set the hook in some of these guys, thousands of dollars can change hands. One that I read about in Texas, the man had sent nearly $40 thousand before finally figuring out that there was never going to be a relationship of any kind. Like you, I find it hard to imagine anyone falling for these things because they are all so much alike that you know by the first line of their first letter that it is all b.s.
      How many times have you heard about the US born hottie who’s parents moved to Europe or Africa, one or both parents are now dead and the girl needs money to get back to the states to reconnect with relatives? I’ve had over a hundred guys send me that tale and I even got 3 or 4 of them myself when I tried listing my name on an overseas based dating site. Another tell for these crooks is the one where your new lady friend has borrowed money for her travel documents and needs part of the air fare from you to come and visit your country. They will even usually send you a photo of the travel visa and maybe even a picture of her holding it in front of an embassy. Even an expert in foreign documents won’t be able to tell if the document is authentic from a lousy photo email, so how would any of us know an obvious forgery?
      Never send money. Never. If they can travel to a European destination for holiday, meet them there, or go to their country if you feel that you have the where-with-all to make that trip. Never pay for part of the trip before she gets here. Unless you are meeting her at your local airport and then after her visit here at home you want to chip in on the cost of her coming to see you, otherwise you are probably sending money to someone that is not coming.
      Remember, in this era of internet fraud and especially this whole NA man wanting to hook up with beautiful, young Euro gal portion . . . we are the potential marks, not the high possibility life mates.
      If any of us wants to seriously search that region of the world for true love, the only realistic plan is to set up a 3 or 4 week vacation to the part of the world you are interested in and then go there, meet some people and check it out. As for any of us that think this fairy tale is going to come true over night via a totally chance, casual online meeting, try to remember the old story about a man cursing his fireplace for not giving him heat while he refused to first build a fire in it. The effort must always precede the reward.

      • wolverine on 03/08/2010 at 8:52 am

        Didn’t I tell you that story about the fireplace, Richard? haha
        Anyways, been visiting with a girl on ICQ lately.She claims she grew up in a village, and didn’t want to live in the city, etc. She and I talk each weekend. She doesn’t have internet where she lives during the week while going to uni.
        Anyways, she wants to visit Canada, and possibly see me while she’s here. She woudl like to work here for a year or 2, and would like to see it before she decides for sure.
        Her requests for me have been minimal. Help with her English grammar (which, btw, is really good), and if she decides to move here, help finding a place to live and a job. She asked when she visits the first time if I would show her around the family farm, and maybe take her for a day on a tractor, and she’d like to go riding horses. Horses aren’t an issue. I have one, and can borrow a second on a moment’s notice if needed…
        She said her motive for wanting to come to Canada was to build a nest egg for her future, and to improver her english in a way that she could not in a country where she woudln’t be forced to speak english all the time….
        I think I’d like to help this girl. But I won’t give her money…

  75. Michael D. on 03/09/2010 at 9:41 am

    So much of what I have been reading fits my story.

    My Russian sweetheart was abandoned as an infant and was raised in a childrens home.

    We “met” very briefly at Which in my opinion is a total scam. Caught that one right away. Then, I recieved an email from my girl with her personal email. I did ask her if she was an online ambassador for She played “stupid” like she didn’t know what I was asking.

    I had sent her a gift, via, to the address that she provided me with. Today, I received a notice from Amazon, that the package was undeliverable. Which is ok, I get a full refund. I was not surprised at all by this.

    One thing good that has come from this, is that I am now learning the Russian language. You know, maybe for a future, “real” relationship with a Russian woman. One that I meet here in the States. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. LOL

  76. Ryan on 04/18/2010 at 11:32 am

    What is the best way to meet a Russian lady other than through a marriage agency or dating website?

    I am an American and have used a marriage agency in the past. I paid thousands of dollars to participate in a group tour but did not find a Russian bride. I know that there are a lot of genuine Russian women who would like to marry an American but also would like to avoid using an agency because of the negative connotation it has in thier country. I feel that the majority of American men are not successful in finding a Russian wife through an agency. Of those men who have been successful are the most vocal since they have a good reason to be.

  77. JC on 04/21/2010 at 12:42 pm

    Why don’t you try going to places that are frequented by Russians here in the states or join an online dating site and have Russian speaking as one of your specifications?

    If you particularly love Russian culture there are lots of Russians already here in the states. Those girls will be your best bet for finding and keeping a real relationship as they already have support networks here, already have a better grip on our cultural differences, and are much more likely to be looking fir a real relationship instead of a meal ticket or greencard.

  78. Richard on 05/27/2010 at 4:31 pm

    I was listening to my daughter and two of her friends talking about boys yesterday. (which is frightening enough all by itself) My daughter had said that when she starts dating she “wouldn’t go out with a boy that didn’t talk nice and opens doors for her, and stuff like that”. One of the other girls agreed, adding that a boy “shouldn’t always talk about sports and boy things” when they are with a girl. Then the third girl said, “I don’t care what he says as long as he has money”.
    There is the future, my friends. Three girl friends in the same age group, from the same area, going to the same school and three clearly different views of what ‘dating’ should look like. These girls are only 10 years old and it is a bit unsettling that even one of them has already decided that being treated disrespectfully is fine as long as the guy doing it has plenty of cash. If this little microcosm were a mathematical study then a boy in our region has a 1 in 3 chance of being taken to the cleaners by any girl he meets from the time he starts dating. I can’t help but wonder how quickly these boys will become angry and jaded to true romance and what their expectations might look like by the time they are old enough to start a family.

  79. Leonard on 05/27/2010 at 10:58 am

    Hi there..

    I myself have tried several russian dating agencies and found one that was a little exspensive to use but I have had my fair share of scammers. I believe if you want something for real you have to pay a fair price for it. It took me some time to actually warm up to a lady (age 37) that seamed to interest my soul. The main reason to my post is that I have communicated with her for approximately 15 months via mostly agency mail, personal emails, photo’s, txt msgs and few phone calls followed later by a few video skype calls. Through our communication we built a very strong foundation to a relationship. I stated from the beginning I was a 45 year old man that was not out to play games and was very serious about finding an international lady of my dreams. I concreted that thought with actions, and have made the journey here to the city of Mariupol Ukraine to meet her. So far she has been so helpful and committed to doing her best for me. I have an issue that I can not put my finger on… Together in our letters we stated about the romance we shall share together.. (I may be jumping the gun here as we have only seen each other for just over a week in between her work/family commitments)I was wondering if she is conditioning me to some of her cultural standards and playing the hard to get courting procedure regardless of our romantic corrospondence. I am a very romantic and thoughtful male and I asure you I respect her and definately play the prince charming persona.I am a little out of place here to be my best but try hard to brighten her life. I am very ofay with body language and get mixed signs from her.. I find this a little frustrating towards what is my next move. Is this because she is a little shy or unsure, or possibly giving more time to our meeting before any serious romance begins. I do noice that each day we meet I do get closer to her and she shows more affection in her own way but there is still that hand brake that jumps in for some reason. I may be reading the signs wrong and wanting too much to soon, but after 15 months of corrospondence I thought there would be a more fast track to the process. If you have any comments I would like to here, especially about how russian women “tick”…

    • rw_man on 05/27/2010 at 1:34 pm

      Leonard.. take the time to read though my entire blog.

      I’m under the impression that you are committing the biggest “sin” that I know of when communicating with a Russian Woman that you haven’t met or have barely been with in person.

      You probably fell in love with the fantasy that the letter’s represent and not with the reality of what you two are like together physically.

      I don’t care how long you’ve written to each other.. All the emails, voice conversations and letters in the world only account for less then 20% of a courtship. The other 80% is all about understanding, warmth and chemistry that can only be evaluated with quality time spent together.

      Don’t fall in love with emails or pictures my friend. Only fall in love (or don’t) with the real person you are seeing in the flesh before your own eyes.

      If this “relationship” is not happening for you then be prepared to cut your loses and move on… but hopefully a little bit wiser and smarter this time around..

  80. Miclemc47 on 08/03/2010 at 9:04 am

    Hello once again,
    I seek some understanding here as i think this is remarkable.Subsequently i have been corresponding with a Ukrainian women for a number of months via email and telephone messages on a bonafied Ukraine dating website and i am going to make plans to visit the country which i am allowed to do however there are other FSU countries i am not allowed to vist so the for me the field is small.Now this is what i find remarkable and that is there are so many beautiful young Ukrainian women who seek a future partner from another country other that thier own.What are the reasons behind this because surely life and the men in the Ukraine cannot be bad so why is this something i find remarkable.Fortunately for me she speaks and writes fluent english which will help enourmously and the proposed visit will only be a short one but if we click then i will have to consider whether it is best for me to live in the Ukraine or not.How is the standard of living in the Ukraine compared to where i am from which is the UK.I dont know if this is a good omen or not but on a evening out with friends i came across a Ukrainian girl and her husband who works for the same outfit as i do and this provided some oppurtunity to ask some questions and she met him through the same website.She is very pretty and of course he is much older, a little heavy on his feet and follically challenged (a little humour there) but they seem quite happy.He did say to me when you do go to the Ukraine i will interest a great many young ladies which i found hard to believe but is there any truth in such statements.I must admit i am looking forward to the trip when it happens to meet this young lady though some practical advice is always helpful from those who have done what i am looking to do.I am also prepared to accept that it may not work out at all but i have a strong feeling about this so please comment on this article as it is better to be well informed.

  81. Mel on 09/01/2010 at 7:12 am

    You know, a lot of the qualities people are writing about are found in Russians in general, not just the women. My husband is Russian- we’ve been together for seven years- and he can be a real handful! I’m sure he’d say the same about me, although being with him is strictly not for amateurs- you’d better be ready to hear about imagined slights from five years ago, not get thrown off by circular reasoning, hear frequent criticism of Western politics, and be made to feel like you’re a bad wife for not putting him in the absolute center of your life. Cultural clash, that’s for sure. But he’s gorgeous, extremely intelligent, funny and loyal. Point is, I met him in the real world, in the U.S., and wound up moving to Europe with him. I had no idea what I was getting into, and would NEVER go out of my way to be with a Russian, as much as I realized after being with my husband and making various trips to Russia that I love the people there and find the men quite attractive (the over-the-top beauty of the women is another subject we often talk about when we visit, though my husband finds them a bit much, at least in Moscow). I’ve stuck with my husband so far because we made a commitment, and at nearly 40 it’s become a habit. But I would not advise anyone to go out of his way (it’s always his in these cases, isn’t it) to pursue a Russian woman without some knowledge of the language and culture and an authentic interest in it. I can’t imagine getting anywhere with a Russian without that. Else you’ll wind up being a green card provider, I’m sure! I’ll leave the questions of bad American women and all that to you guys, I love American men too and won’t say anything bad about anyone, just a general word of advice!

    • Michael Cahoon on 05/27/2011 at 6:45 pm

      I love how you expressed yourself here. I have been dating a Bulgarian lady for almost 3 years. She does NOT like Americans but since I am Texan by birth I am acceptable. Quoting you is exactly what it is like with her “you’d better be ready to hear about imagined slights from five years ago, not get thrown off by circular reasoning, hear frequent criticism of Western politics, and be made to feel like you’re a bad wife for not putting him in the absolute center of your life.” OMG that is her lol. She has such honest intense passion that when it is in my favor I forget about the times i am in firing line. Yes she speaks Russian as well :)

  82. jim on 09/08/2010 at 12:08 pm

    Hello, i am emailing russian girl for nealry 6weeks now every day. im 24, she is 26, She is very consistint in coming to visit me for 2 weeks and i have not yet met her. She has never asked for money and has her passport, visa and travel insurance got, so its actually costing me nothing. Should i go with it and just let her come over? have i got anything to loose? only one thing bothers me,her english is very limited!
    Reply much appreciated!

    • ken on 09/10/2010 at 3:56 am

      Sorry noone ponied up with advise. I’ve seen very similar things addressed on this and other related sites. You’re very wise to look for answers! There will be lists of do’s and don’ts, and the more people that can relay their experiences the better.

      Face to face is certainly the way to go, but isn’t it unusual for a Russian woman, being much more traditional, to fly to another country to pursue a man? The owner of this site told me that properly courting a Russian woman is a very big deal to her, and her suggestion to come see you seems a little out of character. I may be wrong so keep seeking advise. You’ll find it!

      I hope things go well.

  83. Ricardo Olavarrietta on 09/12/2010 at 1:03 pm

    I honestly and genuinely want to know… Where are the real / honest / decent / down to earth / not scams…Russian women.

    I sincerely frustrated trying to find just ONE, only (1) single Russian woman who is honestly just try to find a decent man to get marry without any other dirty or dishonest intention.
    PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE… If someone can help me, I would love to know… Where can I find the real, genuine, decent, not gold digger Russian woman. Sorry, it is not my intention to offend anyone in here, I am just frustrated..

    • Michael on 07/26/2013 at 5:45 am

      1. When you search, avoid the paysites. Type “totally free” in your google search.
      2. When you find a woman and she actually responds and you can sense her earnestness, don’t be afraidd to give her your email address. If anything happens, you can easily change your password and deny access by anyone.
      3. If she is earnest, she WILL email you with her own email address or she will sign up to your email carrier. Gmail translates automatically. If you are savvy, you will learn quite a bit about her just from the first mail. She will want to take time to get to know you. Remember, she’s looking for a prince. So you’d better be one before you go looking.

      This is the way it all came down for me. But then again, I wasn’t a 60 year old man looking for a 20 year old woman. You two would never make it. You couldn’t keep up with her if you were older. You’d be the biggest bore she ever met. Be realistic in your age search. If you are older, you no longer need a ten. You may want a 10, but you should settle for a 5 or 6. Nonetheless, remember above all, be a prince, and never send any money.

  84. Peter on 09/29/2010 at 10:32 pm

    I found your FAQ very fascinating. I am interested in meeting and marrying a woman from either Russia, Ukraine, Brazil or Columbia. I have two questions:
    1. How would you compare women from Russia and the Ukraine to Latin women from Brazil and/or Columbia? And do you feel there are a lot more available beautiful women in Russia/Ukraine?
    2. You make no mention of what agencies to use, means such as a tour or writing letters, etc. How would you recommend an American going about meeting and marrying his dream girl in Russia or the Ukraine? Are there agencies you recommend?

  85. Shoeless Rob on 10/05/2010 at 7:40 pm

    I am intrigued and perplexed by your position on the subject in general for 2 reasons. Neither would be interesting on their own but together they intrigue me.

    1. Your site and F.A.Q. reads much like an advertisement… a cleverly veiled advertisement from some “scammy/mail order bride co-op” of devious origin, trying to get me to believe in an idea rather than a product. The way you counter points, pose ideas, and advocate ideas is as a very, very, very good sales or ad man would. I know this field well and know a good salesman selling something when I see it. This usually leads me to be not interested in what’s being sold immediately. What kept me reading is that once in awhile there’s a naturally good salesman who is selling something because he believes in it, not because he wants you to buy into it. I know this because I’ve been asked by many sales organizations to join but have always refused aside from the one time I truly believed in what was being sold.

    2 Your responses to peoples comments seem to continually knock “buying the product”. Your response to comments of people obviously buying into the “mail order bride” or “instant long range love” concepts is to tell them to stay away. You pick apart even the best sounding “love story” using your experiences..

    I’m left with two conclusions and I can’t decide which is true. Either you do work for some scammy agency or co-op that is in a different league completely. So good you’re telling them how not to buy the bad company’s products and instead looks for a reputable company’s products. Good enough to turn even my perspectives. Don’t bull a bulls***ter pops into mind. Either that or you are being truly genuine in your advocacy and, well… salesmanship skills regarding the subject.

    Shoeless Rob

    P.S. Don’t reply with “I’m not selling anything”, if you missed it re-read, that’s already covered in what I’ve said.

    • rw_man on 10/06/2010 at 12:03 am

      Shoeless Rob..

      I really don’t know what your agenda is with your comment. But honestly my first impression is that it comes from a pretty jaded s.o.b.

      Frankly.. yes I would love to be able to earn an honest income from the fruits of my labor just like any other man justifiably would but we are not quite there.

      If you think I’m BS’ing anyone with the intentions behind this site then I’d suggest that you start your own blog about anything you feel strongly about and let’s see if your passion alone could carry you for over 4 years in building up your own content. Until that day comes Bob I would try to remember a little phrase about not throwing rocks when you live in a glass house.

      Come on Bob..

      No Salesmanship here..

      Just a simple challenge to see what YOU are all about.

      • Shoeless Rob on 10/06/2010 at 9:18 pm

        I apologize if you feel insulted. That was not my intent at all. My agenda was/is to see if there’s reason to change my view about something I thought was ridiculous… agency sites. Nothing more. I’m actually a pretty happy person and not bad with the ladies, but your site intrigued me quite a bit by challenging my views about US women and Russian women. I still say I know a salesman when I see them and your personal “main pages” like the faq and a few others read like a pitch. This may be because it’s something you really believe in and you’re good at pitching an idea. Or it may be some other agenda you have (which if I can say it more clearly doesn’t involve directly selling something). My only intent is to find out which. If I phrased anything badly or hid my agenda I apologize. If calling me names, i.e. Bob which I hate, calling me a jaded person when I’m pretty well adjusted and happy, or telling me I need internet fans before I dare to challenge you is your style… have at it. If not I await your reply

        To the 2 (and probably soon to be many more) guys who posted below, I’m specifically not talking about the comments section or the regular blog posts. I stated that he has nothing to sell either way so hammering that home is kinda silly. It’s also alarming that you somehow “know” he lives in Russia or is a whatever because some hypertext says so. This is the internet. I’m not saying he’s full of it, I’m saying I’m not sure he isn’t. In fact I mentioned that if he IS full of it it’s a very different tactic that all those sites you tell me that I’m reading while I post this. I also thought I made it clear that IF he is a charlatan the gain for him is not directly or financially linked to this site at all. I don’t want a flame war, I understand and acknowledge your points guys, they’re right, they just don’t have anything to do with what I said.

        • sam r ogilvie on 10/07/2010 at 4:41 am

          Hello Shoeless Rob,

          I don’t agree with your conclusion that all agency sites are ridiculous. I do agree with rw_man’s belief that their goals and their customers’ goals often diverge. Many agencies are unscrupulous for sure, and they fleece lonely, middle-aged Western men on a daily basis. Nevertheless, I used several sites at one time, and I have several friends around the world to show for it. If one is careful, agencies can be a helpful way to meet some very fine people.

          Rw_man has made his motives patently clear, and if he doesn’t display a little salesmanship, then he’s not going to be very effective, now, is he? Also,if you will read the blog carefully, and study some of the people he’s introduced us to here, I think you will conclude that he does, indeed, live where he says he lives. If you are truly interested and concerned, it would be very easy to verify his identity and location anyway.

          I am not sure what your motives are at all, Rob, but I hope you will look at the brighter side of things, and find the happiness you deserve.

          • Shoeless Rob on 10/11/2010 at 8:37 pm

            Your response is well put together and I appreciate that a lot. I do look to the bright side of things more than I think you think you think I do.

            I”m pretty happy and don’t have trouble finding an attractive girlfriend at all. After one ex wife I decided to be extremely picky though. I go through one well educated, interesting enough, and attractive girl after another because after thinking I found mrs right the first time and it falling flat’ I know when there’s “something” missing. Even if I don’t know what that something is

            I stumbled across this site and admittedly haven’t seen agency sites in years; since… back when I wasn’t so good with the ladies. I saw so much salesmanship both on the side of the site and the women that it turned me off to the idea for good pretty much. That’s why I made my initial post when I happened upon this site. Well I suppose there’s also the part about it being a *little* salesmanship. If it was I would wholeheartedly agree with you but it’s not a little bit of it. I’m a heck of a salesman and this site drips with excellent sales skills. I’m also confident that with the people I know and the skills I have I could fool a lot of very intelligent people for a long time if I tried. I’m not saying that’s the case and even from the beginning I was leaning towards a no, but testing is always better. 8*)

            At any rate, all I got from rw_man was a bunch of insults and a challenge to see what I was really about which I believe I’ve answered twice with this post and the last with no reply. I’m not gonna ask for specific advice. You seem to be a very intelligent person (also one that doesn’t take factual discourse personally) and I’ve laid out where my life is right now in relation to the subject. Any advice?

          • wolverine on 10/11/2010 at 8:58 pm

            Mr shoeless rob, would you consider speaking to me in private?? It’s about a matter not related to this site, and more to your sales skills. I would like to learn…

          • sam r ogilvie on 10/12/2010 at 5:34 pm

            Hello Rob,

            Thanks for the compliment. Obviously, I don’t always succeed, but I do try to learn from others’ comments and be as civil as possible.

            I am in no position to give advice, but I will share some of my thoughts and desires, though I am a bit hesitant to do so in public. First, I am fascinated by human nature, the innate characteristics of those around me, and how nurture/culture influence both. Though we all know that people are pretty much the same everywhere, I fully understand that culture and/or nurture can have a profound impact on the behavior of individuals. Even locally, for instance, people in a region or community just south and east of my home are considerably friendlier, and more humble and down-to-earth than people here in my hometown. I have analyzed the possible reasons why pretty intensively for some 20 years now, and, regardless of whether my conclusions are right or wrong, the process has been rewarding.

            Around five years ago, I began to take a look at perceived differences in people(almost strictly females to be honest and accurate) internationally. In that time I have exchanged 2,000 letters or more and several phone calls with women from Russia, Ukraine, Lativa, Moldova, Kaz, Brazil, Colombia, USA, Argentina, etc. Regretfully, I had to cancel a planned trip to Russia in February due to a severe bout with the H1N1 virus. If I could afford to get off the wheel of commerce for a month or more, I would love to utilize Rw_man’s services and visit his area. Romance aside(in all seriousness), I would enjoy having lunch with Anna(see images 40, Snejana’s friend) because I would like to quiz her on her worldview and her professional plans. I found the shirt she was wearing very interesting, and I would love to compliment her on her smile and shy nature. As much as I love my country and home, I am afraid the shirt she was wearing would not go over well here, and I would like to talk with her about that. I would also love to meet Inessa, and see for myself if professional success has spoiled her. I would like to know what she thinks about fame and fortune and whether or not those are goals of hers. I was really impressed by her mother’s generosity, and it would be fun to see if Inessa shares that quality with her.

            As for that “something missing”, I know the feeling and experience well. All I can do is sympathize with you. I attempt to surround myself with people who are real, and by that I mean people who have transcended mere superficialities. The world is full of charm and wonder but people who are looking above and beyond the present, but yet remain engaged in the here and now interest me the most.

            Finally, I admire your sales skills. I am no salesman, though I think we all attempt to be at times. It’s a necessity, I think, to survive. I refuse to point any fingers, though. As I have said a thousand times, “the heart of the problem is the problem of the heart”. My heart is as screwed up as the next person’s, so I’ll drop my stones most of the time. Thanks again for commenting. I have really enjoyed reading your posts.

    • Richard on 10/06/2010 at 12:50 am

      You sure have me wondering about what F.A.Q. pages you have seen before. I have completely stopped going to those locations at other sites because they are such shameless self promoting drivel as to be a pure and total waste of my time. If anything has ever stood out to me on this site it would be that this F.A.Q. page actually reads like a conversation rather than an unveiled attempt to make me believe that I need to get out my wallet or check book and “sign up” for something.
      I’m someone who has gone from interested newbie to long standing participant and supporter of this site for nearly as long as it’s been around, and I find it hard to see the product being pitched here. With the amount of time I’ve spent on marketing products and services over the years, I’m pretty sure I’d have found it by now if there was something here for me to buy in to. Besides, I think that if rw_man has been trying to sell something (other than the concept of a better possibility for future happiness) then he is done a piss poor job of it. After years of regular involvement on the site he seems to have forgotten to show me the product, much less offer it to me for a price.
      What’s more, in my opinion, there is a stark difference between this site and about a million others just because this one isn’t chocked full of daily hateful insults and useless rhetoric while offering no concrete suggestions or solutions about any topic under discussion. It might be that you need to do some more comparing of similarly focused sites around the net and weigh their content against what you see here.

      • Michael on 05/27/2011 at 7:13 pm

        Richard I have been reading your posts with admiration and was impressed with how kind and considered you were in your “2 cents” with folks. One thing about Rob, he jumped in this with both feet and managed to piss a lot of people off. Since I am new and have had 3 glasses or my favorite wine, it takes awhile for reason to hit me. The good news is I miss the impact initially having to reread everything. Rob prism is his salesman eyes, cynical at best. He was I feel being honest, simply misread what was going on here, but he was quickly educated. I often feel in real life we make things more complicated than what they need to be. I like reading all thes eview points and especially like the fact that you so artfully pointed out and that I like the most “here is a stark difference between this site and about a million others just because this one isn’t chocked full of daily hateful insults and useless rhetoric while offering no concrete suggestions or solutions about any topic under discussion”


    • sam r ogilvie on 10/06/2010 at 5:32 am

      Hello Rob,

      After reading your comments, I really believed you must have been reading material at another site. Since that is obviously not the case, it is apparent that you have totally misinterpreted rw_man’s motives and objectives in my opinion. Though I don’t share in the consensus that NA women are generally bad news and that feminism is inherently evil, one would find it very difficult to dispute many of the other claims made here.

      To begin, rw_man first moved to Russia, later to Kaz, courted and married a Russian woman, and continues to live and work in Kaz, I understand. So, he understands that other men who wish to establish a family and that are dissatisfied with the status quo may well find happiness and satisfaction by moving just as he did. His passionate advocacy for the women of that region has spilled out in blog entries for over four years now. Read them and tell me where I can find more passion and sincerity, please.

      Secondly, he offers his assistance in meeting and establishing relationships in the region in concise detail. Few would doubt or question a man for expecting to be paid for his time and expertise.

      Thirdly, because he believes in treating the women of that region with great dignity and respect, he finds the whole concept of the “mail order bride” demeaning. He has done an outstanding job of introducing us all to intelligent, well-educated, very feminine, well-groomed, attractive, well-rounded and purposeful females in that region, so any claim that this site objectifies women is pure baloney. He does question the motives of matchmaking sites and makes a good argument there. Only God(excuse the reference to faith) knows the truth about that, but one would be wise to consider his points.

      Finally, after five years of considerable immersion in foreign countries and cultures, I can say with confidence that there really is something unique about the average Russian woman. Personally, I think the women of America are wonderful. Personally, I think that many women around the world are wonderful. Yet, at this point in time, Russian women are able to demonstrate total professional competence and even excellence while still maintaining an incredibly charming femininity. Yes, women elsewhere do as well,but, in my opinion no one does it better than the women rw_man touts month after month. I don’t know where it comes from, but it is very real. Just yesterday, while gathering information for a trip I hope to take when the economy improves, I had a long conversation with a nineteen-year-old woman in Moscow. Though working part-time and taking a full slate of university classes, I was completely charmed by her knowledge of her job, immpeccable English, and her incredibly sweet nature. Yes, I said sweet. I am never going to deny that, as a man, I find sweetness and some degree of softness attractive in a woman. Any man that’s honest will say much the same thing.

  86. Richard on 10/11/2010 at 10:56 pm

    shoeless rob,

    To begin with, I have to say that you seem very intent on letting everyone here know what a smart, successful, well rounded and highly professional person you are, so I can’t help asking; what the heck is it that YOU are trying to sell other than your outstanding excellence and overinflated sense of self worth?

    It doesn’t appear that anyone was “feeling insulted” by any of your comments, which so far lack almost any value beyond telling everyone here how wonderful you think you are.

    If there is nothing else for us to “know” about how well you dance through relationships, how easy your life is, how content you are with who you are and so on, why don’t you try to find someone who cares and ramble on to them for a while.

    Your “salesmanship” looks a lot more perceived in your own mind than authentic in any real world arena and while I’m certain you love seeing your own words of praise on the page, I doubt that anyone here is buying your snake oil pitch.

    You keep coming back and checking it out but by posting nothing but your doubts to anything serious or worth while on this site, and offering no possible constructive word what-so-ever, you come off looking like an idiot.

    I would again inquire to what your point might be, but apparently you have none.

    • Shoeless Rob on 10/12/2010 at 4:11 pm

      First I was replying to Sam. Secondly… relax bro. Every paragraph of yours just berates me and many tell me what I’m thinking or who I am. I don’t want a flame war OR a pat on the back. Just relax and have a discussion like sam is trying to do. I stated my motives up there and I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear with them. I don’t have a point because I’m not trying to make one, I’m exploring ideas and ended with a question.

      • Richard on 10/12/2010 at 8:22 pm

        don’t worry “bro”, my calm is fine . . . you are on an open site and almost everything you’ve written is self gratifying so someone should (and I did) comment on it . . . just relax.

  87. Rosebud on 10/13/2010 at 12:19 pm

    Well, here’s a not-so-frequently asked question, but is still valid in my opinion.
    You talk about so many wonderful Russian women, but you’ve never brought up the Grand Duchesses O.T.M.A, the most wonderful princesses the world has ever seen.
    ((I hope I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes here by bringing this up)) It’s just that I think that the Romanovs are the most unsung royals ever… I would provide a link to a wonderful site about them, but it has moved and is under construction…
    Seriously though, please tell me if it is bad to talk about the Romanovs with Russians…

    • rw_man on 10/13/2010 at 12:50 pm

      Hi Rosebud,

      The Romanov family was legendary for the devotion, dedication and love that they had for each other often to a fault. If you know the story of Rasputin then you probably know what I’m referring to. I have great admiration for what they were trying to do for the Russian People with Democratic reforms before the Bolshevik’s took power and murdered them.

      So please don’t be shy on this one as all.. Thanks for contributing.

      • Rosebud on 10/13/2010 at 1:07 pm

        Ha, thank you for your quick reply. :D
        I don’t really believe the stories about Rasputin at all, about how…close he was with the female members of the last Imperial Family… for one thing the girls were waaay too young so that MUST have been mindless propaganda, and Alexandra was so devoted to her husband…but this is all from my own reasoning based on what I read online. You’ve lived in Russia, perhaps you have a better explanation about this man?

        • Rosebud on 10/13/2010 at 1:44 pm

          Though, I realize that you probably meant the immense power he had over Alexandra..
          He was a sneak… convincing Nicholas to go out to the war front, and then gaining Alexandra’s trust while he was away, but I can’t believe that he did anything worse than that… at least with the Czarina. *sigh* I feel so ignorant right now, I’m really hoping I haven’t said anything wrong..

  88. Muncho on 10/27/2010 at 7:31 pm

    Was there a Part-3 to “Stolen identity – The Christine Story” if so how can I get to read it?

    • rw_man on 10/28/2010 at 1:24 am

      Hi Muncho it’s not out yet.. As you can tell it’s not a pretty story but it’s a real one.

  89. Northern Prophet on 11/19/2010 at 5:53 pm

    Good day to you =]

    My name is Darryl Tonks; I’m a seventeen year old student studying Psychology, English Literature, History and Philosophy and Ethics, as well as a couple of other extra subjects.
    Next year, I am visiting Russia just for the experience of its culture – Moscow, to be exact, because that is where my Russian friend lives who intends to help me.
    Later on in my life, I intend to move to Russia and hopefully start my life there. Everything I have heard – the rough exterior that conceals deep passion most of all – all draws me to it. Some day I hope to be a writer of some sort, or search for a career in psychology, or even, if I am lucky, become a teacher.
    I can speak basic Russian, and by next year I will have improved a lot. I know about its people, I have friends there that I have learned from, I understand its politics and culture in depth and I value most aspects of the Russian people.

    My question to you is this; from the above information, do you think that there would be a place in Russia for me? I ask this in terms of careers, a woman, every-day life, making friends – anything and everything that you are prepared to help me with.

    Thank you, and I very much admire your life; your blog interested me a lot.

    ~Darryl Charles Tonks.

    • rw_man on 02/11/2011 at 10:44 pm

      Darryl if you are still reading this I apologize for not seeing this comment and not approving this earlier.

      In short I think there is a role for you with any direction your heart leads you to.

      Many times you don’t necessarily have to wait for this “opportunity to arise” because if you are a clever and resourceful enough man you will carve out your niche and blaze your own trail.

      If this path leads you to Russia like it did for me then all the more power to you and your ambitions.

      Use this site in whatever way you need to formulate what your next step is and if you find inspiration in what is said here then I am nothing short of happy that my own “passion” for creating this has in some small way fueled yours.

  90. Todd on 12/13/2010 at 7:09 pm

    I found my dream girl in Russia and im MOVING there!Yeeahh!!Goodbye western lesbos!

  91. Onto on 02/04/2011 at 8:00 pm


    This is a great site and what you said about men learning to believe in themselves again was quite moving…..because it’s very true. The animus-possessed amazons of America have taken over the country and the masculine has fallen on hard times. We only have ourselves to blame. We let it get this way.

    I haven’t looked past the FAQ’s so perhaps you mention it somewhere’s in your site, but it would be helpful if you recommended legitimate marriage sits. I understand if you believe there is no such thing, that would be good to know as well.

    Keep up the good work,


  92. Sasha on 02/11/2011 at 8:42 pm

    I think your site has some truth but is also embellished with many mistruths. I have lived in the region for over 10 years. The beauty of Russian women is their slavic heritage and something that is referred to as the slavic soul. This is the inner beauty which is far greater then there outer beauty. You do not see many sexy/model like 30+ women, they all shine when under 30.

    As to your explanation as to why their are fewer men. It is wrong to claim it goes back to WWII the demographics do not support this fact. The main reason is the high mortality rate and the fact that many Russian men suffer from Alcohol abuse and some die in the army. Women run the country in Russia and former FSU states. They have a higher profile and are approachable, unlike women in the west. Many are married by the age of 21 and soon divorced by 28 or after the first child. Mainly due to the economic pressures and demands placed on the husbands by the women. Yes they make good wives and partners if you can find the right one. But they are not stupid either. If you do not have money. And I mean a well paid stable job forget it. You need to realise also that most expats living in Russia are better paid then the locals. This adds to their charm and desirability as they can spend money wining and dinning where Russian men need to be more frugal.

    The number of foreign men visiting the region looking for wives and who think they understand the country never ceases to amuse me. Believe me many of the o called “Dating sites” are rip offs – They make their money on correspondence much of which Si not true. As part of my research on the so called Russian brides I created on one site a profile that has no information and no photo and I even asked that they write to me in Russian not English yet I received thousands of emails all in English. I have friends who use to work for these agencies and they tell me more or less the same. Most of the correspondence is fake.

    Russia is not Thailand, It is not a fantasy land come true.

    Sites like yours peddle this disbelief and promote a fantasy that is not reality. I wonder if you have the permission of these women to publish theory photos and personal details?

    If you find the right one. Must will use you, may even give you a child, but they most likely see you as a means to an ends. If you think you can find a Russian bride and live in a trailer park happily ever after think again.

    Sorry for being critical, I do think your site is tasteful and respectful, but your are also not telling it is it really is. It is sugar coated candy.

    • rw_man on 02/11/2011 at 10:37 pm

      Sasha I appreciate your comment but if you think that I’m intentionally misleading anyone you are wrong.

      This site exists because of what I’ve experienced in Russia and the FSU first hand with many of the Russian Women I’ve interacted with which has been nothing short of inspirational.

      Both you and I find fault in many “Marriage Agencies” and their often corrupt models of operation for sure. This we can both agree on and this is why I’ve never accepted advertising opportunities from them even-though I’ve been approached to do so numerous times. I think you need to read more content from my site because I for one have never promoted Russia as a Thailand like fantasy land. No quite the opposite. I think I’ve made it a point to showcase many of its challenges including the fact that there are indeed women here who have a calculated “survival mode” mentality that should be avoided.

      I think this following comment from you summed up everything quite well.

      “Yes they make good wives and partners if you can find the right one. But they are not stupid either. If you do not have money. And I mean a well paid stable job forget it.”

      For you to imply that I’m peddling “sugar coated candy” in light of the above comment that we agree on is baffling to me. Once again I can only conclude that you really haven’t taken the time to read through my site and decided to jump to conclusions. Well Sasha if that’s the case then I’m afraid I must say that this will be your loss not mine.

      And by the way.. I stand by my demographics analysis.. and the girls on my site are generally very happy to be on it because I do my best to showcase their beauty and feminine nature.. which as you know is something they are rightfully quite proud of.

      So now that I’ve answered your questions Sasha..

      Now I’d say it’s my turn to ask you one in return.

      I think most visitors who come to my site realize that I try to promote and represent 3 primary things. Femininity, Beauty, Family… (actually you can add Love to the mix too..)

      This has been my “agenda” from the very beginning because I truly realize how incredibly precious and increasingly rare each of these are in our world.

      So now Sasha.. what is your agenda? What do you represent?

      I’m pointing this out because for example many Russian guys are proud of their women and appreciate this site… but a smaller minority are unfortunately just cups filled with bitterness and envy.

      And with my years here I’ve gotten REAL good at quickly identifying this.

      Now I don’t know you and I’m not going to say that you fall into this category.. But I will say that unless you give me a legitimate answer to my question above.. I will certainly question your motives.

    • sam r ogilvie on 02/12/2011 at 7:11 am

      Hello Sasha,

      You have addressed a group here that I would describe as curious, resourceful, and observant, among many other things. If nothing else, I am curious. Could you tell me where you are from originally and why you moved to Russia or that region? Could you expound on what you described as the “Slavic soul”? I have heard many say that Russian women age poorly, though the evidence is anecdotal. Why do you think that is so? I have no opinion on that matter at all, by the way. I will add that here in the world’s melting pot, where the smallest towns boast citizens of multiple ethnicities, that most of us age poorly. ;)

      Rw_man voiced his concern and spoke of his distaste of “Russian Dating Sites” early on. I think it is common knowledge here in the States that many of the sites are outright scams and that even the good sites of scale have difficulty policing their agencies. Let’s face it, LONELY, middle-aged men fund those sites as a rule, and we know the rest of that story.

      In an effort to evaluate the largest such site, I have resorted to many “tricks”. I found some problems with two agencies, reported my findings to headquarters, asked for a refund–which I got–and was then banned for life. Interestingly, I created another profile with a friend’s name at the same site, and despite the fact that I did not post a picture or any real details about his personality and beliefs, he is getting lots of mail. I am assuming that the disclosure that he is retired at age 49 and loves to travel accounts for that interest. Anyway, as I have said before, I made some good friends at those sites a few years ago, so at least some of the women have good intentions.

      I am one of those foreign men you refer to, but I am not necessarily looking for a wife, and I don’t claim to understand the country. In an effort to learn more about Russia from afar, I recently signed up at Vkontakte. Unfortunately, most of the people at the site are quite young. Thus far, I have added 132 women/girls(4 are involved in pornography, much to my dismay), one musical group, and four young men. Surprisingly, and thankfully, most of the women are receptive to my queries and I chat with several of them regularly. Like the thirty plus Russian women that I have exchanged literally thousands of letters with over the last five years, these women, generally speaking, have been positively influenced by their culture.

      Unlike many of the men at this site, my experience with the women here in the States has been overwhelmingly positive. I refuse to speak about the “womens’(women’s) movement” and its positive and negative impact because I know nothing about it, but I don’t deny the experience of other males. I do think our society asks contradictory things of women, young and old, and that accounts for many of our problems. It seems to me that we ask women to deny their basic nature in the marketplace, and act like men. Their clothes, it is said, and their demeanor, it is said, should reflect their seriousness and qualifications. Femininity has taken a blow as a result, and I think young women are confused, too. Sasha, could I persuade you to comment on this, as well?

      • Doc44 on 10/13/2011 at 5:29 am

        Greetings, I met a Belorussian women in April of 2004 she was going through a divorce from a man that brought her and her son to the US. Their marriage lasted about six months. Her husband had not even begun doing their immigration paper work. So, we met and sex started immediately, it was different but tolerable. I actually fell in love with her and her nature. She and her son were already in deportation process so I married her thinking it was the right thing to do since I loved her and thought she loved me. I will cut to the chase. After two long years and a bundle of money we won our case and her and son received their permanent resident cards. My job took me all over the country slowing me to take them with me and show them all of the wonders of our country. After settling down she became ill with thyroid cancer. All went well for a while. I became ill with arthritis so I retired. I had already sent her son through college and he had moved back in with us. She had been back to her homeland in 2007 and returned May of 2011 refusing to let me go with her. This raised a red flag as she had said and done some things that sent me into heartache. When she returned from Belarus her and the son disappeared changing phone numbers and email addresses. My belief is she was having an affair and had been for sometime despite her lack of passion and the fact that she just was not good in bed. To end I love her for the women I saved and the great times we had traveling. I am determined to find out if she is cheating, it is something I must know. By the way she spent A LOT OF TIME with her son?

    • Stuart on 03/30/2011 at 2:18 am

      Hello, it’s me again. Do you have any questions about what it’s like to live and work in Russia, and if you’re a Christian do you think it’s an uphill struggle to find a wife? I hope to find someone who understands British men from an old-fashioned upbringing. Best wishes.

      • sam r ogilvie on 03/30/2011 at 7:59 pm

        Hello Stuart,

        I could occupy your time for days with questions, but I would prefer that you write about social differences and similarities that you think are important.

        Yes, I think being a theologically liberal, yet serious and devout Christian male complicates life tremendously and the search for a wife exponentially. To start, trying to grasp or form an unbiased perspective and understanding of what we believe to be an infinite Being, known mostly through the writings of 1st century Hebrew men, is a monumental, all-encompassing, and humbling endeavor. In my late teens, I realized that most people, especially females, I encountered did not like all that complexity, all the supposed gray areas and all the uncertainty of the Christian faith and either denounced it completely or ran into the arms of the fundamentalists. I am not sure, but it appears that the same thing happened in other faith traditions. If you are a fundamentalist, which I doubt, the pool of available females is large. If you are of a more liberal persuasion, the pool is incredibly shallow.

        As you know, my experience with Russians, Ukrainians, etc. is limited. However, at the VK site, where I now have some 181 “friends”, I have been pleasantly surprised by the number of thoughtful, high caliber young girls and young women. As in America, the shallow, profane material girls are in abundance, too. I am of the opinion that they will always be in the majority. I believe you must put yourself in a position to meet the good ones. Networking always helps. I hope you will remain positive and be true to yourself. If you invest the time and energy, I believe you will be successful.

        Thanks again for writing, Stuart.

        • sam r ogilvie on 03/31/2011 at 8:35 am


          This morning I chatted with a young woman from Azerbaijan. Though she is of a different faith, I have been overwhelmed by her modesty, innocence and intelligence. In my youth, women of that caliber were in abundance here in the Southeastern U.S., but they are rare, rare gems today. Anyway, I love to put a face with the person I am writing to, so I had asked her to post a picture. I suppose I wasn’t being respectful of her faith, but today she complied. For a few brief moments, she put a photo of herself up on her page. Not surprisingly, she is beautiful woman with distinctive Persian features. I complimented her privately and her response literally brought tears to my eyes. Excuse me, but I think those brief encounters and exchanges are gifts. When true goodness and femininity are expressed we see a sliver of what things were meant to be and what is to come.

        • Richard on 03/31/2011 at 2:30 pm

          As we have seen in past writings, Sam, the two of us have many common views and beliefs, as well as some wide variations of experience and interpretation. I appreciate the life lessons you’ve had in your part of the country and I am confident that your comments are always sincere and well thought out. In response to some of the notes between you and Stuart, I’d like to add some perspective from another region.

          In the north central states where I grew up and the Pacific Northwest where I’ve lived for most of my adult life, there are distinct differences between the manners by which young adult women embrace or reject traditional Judeo-Christian values.

          While some women in my areas of residence also shunned away from the deeper complexities of religious faith, overall the women in both areas are more inclined to commit themselves to a Christian following than any real percentage of men. The Midwestern women more than any other area I’ve lived in, are still quite likely to take religion as their cornerstone than are the men around them, though they are not likely to become hard core fundamentalist in those beliefs. Church attendance in that area of the country is consistently about 4 or 5 to 1 female over male and that’s across most age ranges. On the other hand, Pacific Northwestern churches see closer to a 2 or 3 to 1 ratio, with women still outnumbering the men in all areas of church activity and involvement.

          I have always taken this to mean that most North American churches are somewhat of a “woman’s domain” even though they are mostly run by men as far as church hierarchy goes.

          My experience has also shown that it is women embracing a few fundamental female traits which bring most men into contact and acceptance of church and religious beliefs. The women start with their normal instinct to find a quality mate, and then follow up with their inherent nurturing call (which are a couple of the things feminists deny the existence of) and top it off with the modern phenomenon of desiring to “train and control” the object of their affection. Since we men are somewhat known for succumbing to the ways and wiles of women, the church is one of those tools used to get us to come along easier and less cautiously to the wedding (sacrificial) alter.

          My first wife was very set in the premise that marriage was only one step in completion of one’s Christian walk. Of course when she decided a few months later to leave the marriage, her family ties and church behind to start a new romantic relationship with a woman she worked for, I ruled out her commitment to Christianity.

          Before entering into another marriage, I was adamant that we build our future on mutually accepted spiritual beliefs which my second wife was completely in agreement with. Despite the reality that we both had pretty colorful pasts, we followed the entire process; dating (long distance) for a year, getting to know each other’s families and friends, pre-marital counseling with the pastor who was to perform our ceremony, and everything else good planning involves. When our daughter was born, my wife suffered from sever post partum psychosis, deep clinical depression and a serious battle with alcohol, prescription drugs and other forms of “self medication”. She followed the guidance of her divorced, man hating friends and predictably fell into the lifestyle and habits they proclaimed as “freedom”. Once more I had to rule out a past wife’s commitment to Christianity as the cornerstone of a sound marriage.

          Yet throughout this all, I am perseverant, if nothing else. Neither of the women I married were met via any church connection. Because I am now putting my faith ahead of any other merits, I mostly spend my time around spiritually centered, church going families. In the areas where we live most of the time, both of the churches we attend are a good mix of ages and backgrounds and the majority in numbers as well as in strength of faith can clearly be found in women.

          Modern Christian women in my parts of NA are about a 3 to 1 majority over men as far as church attendance goes, but the key point for us here is that these women are a clear minority compared to secular women in the arena of available dating prospects. Finding a good hearted Christian woman with strength of faith and character (in NA) is becoming a nearly impossible task.

          So, Stuart, what is a man of sound spiritual beliefs to do? Foremost, be firm in your own convictions. Being open and clear about your faith and character leaves a lot of people out from the start, but there is nothing wrong with that. Why leave everyone on the playing field if most are never going to share your core beliefs? Trust me on this; you do not want to end up married to someone like that. If I choose to associate with like minded individuals, it is my prerogative. It would be foolish to claim spiritual faith as your anchor in life and then date or end up married to someone who thinks it is all a stupid waste of time. Marriages collapse over far less important things than this. As the Bible says, be “equally yoked”.

          When I was a part of the bike crowd, I associated with bikers. As a photographer, I associated with other photographers, models and art directors. As a single Christian man, I choose to associate with other Christians so that any opportunity that comes up for dating is more likely to be with someone who is already a committed Christian before even knowing if I am one as well.

          I guess what I am mostly trying to say is, if you are a fundamentalist in any faith, I see the pool of available females as much smaller but very clearly defined, whereas if you are a more liberal version of your chosen belief, the pool is overflowing. However it is overflowing with such a mixture of commitment levels as to be a dangerous pool to swim in. Many people are “available” in that second pool but there is such a loose definition of faith that most are probably not true believers at all.

          • Stuart on 04/04/2011 at 5:04 am

            Thank you for your comment. Most feminists and liberals are quickly put off by my outspoken nature and any meeting with me usually ends in a dramatic tantrum. I would only consider a very old-fashioned Christian woman for any sort of success. Best wishes from Moscow. Stuart

        • Michael on 07/26/2013 at 5:51 am

          I certainly agree with that! They are abundant!

  93. Dan on 02/12/2011 at 9:18 am

    I met my wife through a dating site which will remain nameless. She is 38, Ukrainian, smart, beautiful and loving. I am in my 50s and spent a lot of time before meeting her on these dating sites talking to some amazing women of all ages but also being daily approached by the scammers who would say the ‘sweet’ nothings; I am falling in love with you or Come and see me and followed by help with a few ‘incidentals’. These scammers do not work alone. They are in organized groups and just like the post office have their fish stacked by regular, priority and express. When you take their bait, they are going to do their best to reel you in. What I found amusing was that when I communicated with someone ‘questionable’ when I choose to cut the communication shortly after I would get an unsolicited letter from another with the same motives but a different approach. Are you aware that many of these scammers use pictures of famous russian actresses or singers that we NAs would not recognize?
    My suggestion is, if you are having your doubts create another profile with a buddy posed next to ‘his’ Ferrari and have him contact this same woman. Just make sure you bring kleenex.

    • sam r ogilvie on 02/12/2011 at 10:24 am

      Hello Dan,

      Thanks for the advice and interesting personal story. It would be educational to read more about your experience.

      I stopped participating at dating sites many moons ago. Luckily, before I signed up at that glossy, large, well-known site five years ago, I did my homework and was prepared for scammers and “perpetual daters”. I did post a profile under a friend’s name at that same site recently, but it was done more as an inside joke than anything else. It has been somewhat revelatory, nonetheless. The first thing learned is that the agencies are truly slow to remove the profiles of girls that have married or moved on. The second is that dozens of girls or their agencies are expressing interest in superficial things, but that is true of the world in general. I am as guilty as the next guy of taking a second look at a physically attractive woman, so it’s hard for me to condemn a Russian girl for showing interest in a man with money and an interest in travel. In fairness to myself, though, beauty is far down my list of favorable attributes, and I hope those same Russian girls are looking for more than a “Sugar Daddy”.

      Ironically, while I was signing my friend Harry up at a Russian mail order bride/dating site, he was enjoying a vacation at a posh resort in Thailand, where he befriended three flesh and blood Russians. The three consisted of an obese, middle-aged man who had made a fortune in oil exploration and his two twenty-something, statuesque, blond girlfriends. Harry said he had a habit of patting one girl on the backside while he had his arm draped around the other. Men and women that behave that way are in abundance here. It’s a shame that Harry had to endure a twenty hour flight to see behavior that’s universal and prevalent here at home.

      Oh, well, I am rambling. Thanks for again for your advice and input, Dan.

  94. mark on 02/20/2011 at 6:54 am

    It would be a pleasure to speak with someone with real knowledge about Ladies from Russia? I always wanted to travel there, but cannot find ANYONE interested in going with me, or meeting me there to help guide me. I welcome the opportunity to meet, Thanks Mark

    • Stuart on 04/04/2011 at 5:12 am

      I’ll tell you about it, Mark.

      • Michael Hollingsworth on 04/04/2011 at 2:27 pm

        Hi Mark,

        I am interested in using your help for the day when I go there. Not sure when but want to line up the help and get more informed through your site.

        Please email me.


        Michael Hollingsworth
        Sacramento, CA

  95. peony_girl on 02/20/2011 at 7:44 am

    Thank you for this Blog!

  96. JIm on 03/11/2011 at 11:58 pm

    I started talking to a Beautiful Russian women a couple mmonths ago. At first I was very skeptic from some of the stories I had heard.
    I had been single for 4 months for a reason, I wanted to heal from my past and find myself again. I am so glad I did I felt better than I have ever felt in my life going into my talks with the beautiful Russian. We both wanted to take things slow and get to know each other, her friend had set her up to try and meet someone so she seemed a bit causious as well. It was like second nature how i talked to her and nothing like I had ever known, Just the way she talks to me seems very old school so to speak and very refreshing. You have to really know how to treat a lady and I never did before her. She is now waiting for her visa and is flying here to see me. I cant wait.

    • rw_man on 03/12/2011 at 12:02 am

      Hi Jim,

      Sounds great but make sure you don’t discover that she has some last minute “complications” and needs you to send “her” money quickly.

      If you do you will probably regret it..

      Good luck..

      • JIm on 03/12/2011 at 12:15 am

        Oh I know, I wont send anything.

  97. JIm on 03/12/2011 at 12:04 am

    And yes you have to watch the scammers, they always want money for something. This one wanted nothing at all. She’s the real deal

  98. Kevin on 03/27/2011 at 7:08 am

    Hi I am e-mailing a Russian lady and have been since February 2011 I recieved an E-mail on a English singles web site, of which I am not a full member however I answered the e-mail and have been talking to her ever since through the internet. She claims that she is on vacation at the moment and has expressed a wish to meet me after only conversing after a month.In the instance i refused because i think we don’t know each other well enough she said she wasn’t woried if we met in Russia or England and hasn’t asked for any money whilst we have been talking up to this point her written Englsh left a lot to be desired, But since i explained why we shouldn’t meet just yet of which she fully understands she is still writng to me and her writing has significantly improved I really like the Character of this woman although she is 29 and i am 56 I havebeen very worried about the scams we hear about in England it would be lovely if it were the real thing as I am one of the old school when it comes to dating on would fit the match of what you have put in this blog and you discription of russian women fits this female perfectly do hope you will give me some advice.

  99. Kevin on 03/27/2011 at 7:21 am


  100. Scott on 04/22/2011 at 1:30 pm

    This is a very interesting conversation. I thought I might toss in a few points to think about.
    After my NA marriage collapsed a couple years ago i knew I needed to go a different path for relationship success. I chatted with many european women, the majority from the Ukraine.

    After chatting and speaking with dozens, perhaps hundreds of ladies I came across a particularly clever, beautiful, christian sweetheart and went to meet her. After that trip we went to Istanbul which was wonderful. Then i brought her to the US for over a month. We both had a fantastic time but I noticed real negative behavior here in the states. Women in church and work really assigned me the role of public enemy and made my life less than desirable.

    There is a 17 year difference between us and I am still dating my lady but looking for a new job position now. We skype about every day which is fantastic and I think we’re moving towards a more permanent relationship.

    Now you know my situation so here are a few thoughts.
    1. I think some women are disappointed in the orthodox church. For example, my lady is not Orthodox but has found a christian alternative.
    2. I found the women to be very skilled, wiling to work, intelligent, independent but respectful of the nuclear marriage.
    3. I am not a drinker but If they say they don’t like drinking they really, really mean it.
    4. I went through an agency and was treated well but they asserted a level of control when i was in Kiev that made me feel a bit uncomfortable. One of my reasons for choosing alternative locations for future dates.
    5. Be very careful with the busy bodies from your present life. They love jumping to the worst conclusions and creating havoc. In a nation where female management does what it wants, it can be a perfect excuse for promoting their agendas. Summarized: Be extra careful keeping your private life private and assess the people around you first.

  101. johnUK on 04/23/2011 at 7:25 am

    You wouldn’t know what the ratio of Russian men to women is in Russia would you?

    Interesting that there is more women than men in Russia, Ukraine and the Baltic states as in East German due to post Soviet economic migration of mostly German women, German men outnumber German women.

  102. Alexander on 05/05/2011 at 1:33 am

    I’ve recently been doing a bit of research about Eastern European cultures and happened to stumble across this site. Most of you consistent posters seem like decent individuals and are rather humble while expressing your opinions; It’s good to see that now and again. Anyway, I’m going to be moving to Ukraine pretty soon, probably within the next couple months. I have a question or two, maybe someone can help ease some of my anxiety by clearing these things up for me. One of the posters above stated that, “Yes they make good wives and partners if you can find the right one. But they are not stupid either. If you do not have money. And I mean a well paid stable job forget it.” I hope this isn’t truly the case, I mean I don’t mind intelligent women, but I’ll go insane if every beautiful woman is a mercenary that shoots me down because I don’t have cash flowing outta my pockets. I’m a cool fellow, but I’m only 19 years old and don’t know any Russian or Ukrainian. Getting a job is probably going to be difficult in of itself, and I certainly won’t be making loads of money if and when I do manage to get a job. I also have no particular interest in getting married anytime soon. I suppose that’s beside the point, I’ve already established that I’m not going to have money. It just seems as if I’m going to be surrounded by 18 – 21 year old Ukrainian beauties that only want to marry 50 year old guys that have cash. Do none of the women over there go for the guys that are fun to hang out with, but that are also broke? :)

    And about the kind of job I could get… I live in Chicago and I had wanted to pursue a career in film making. Does anyone know if Ukraine has a constant flow of film productions going on there? If so, would a film crew even hire an American that can’t speak their language?

    P.S. If I’ve come across as somehow ignorant in this post, I apologize. I’ve been a little unhinged lately and I’m becoming increasingly more nervous about having to move to a place that’s very foreign to me. I have a feeling that once I get there, I’m going to have no clue where to even start. :/

    • Cody on 05/09/2011 at 8:59 pm

      Hey Alex,

      I’m 22, and I recently went and lived in Ukraine for half a year under very similar circumstances to yours. I’d be happy to talk to you about it.

      Anyway, you absolutely positively need help on the ground. I knew no Ukrainian or Russian, but I had a lovely lady helping me. Without that I would have had serious problems.

      It is certainly true that Ukrainians have a reputation, even among their own, for being greedy and money oriented. In their defense, it very much has to do with the history of tough survival.

      Like everywhere else, they are not all the same. But in general if you want fun and games there are certainly the girls your age and younger that will meet that requirement. However you’ll find that the ones that know English well and maintain their knowledge of it are also less likely to be frivolous

      Any older than you and a larger percentage of them than in America are quite serious about finding a husband and settling down. That necessarily requires a least some means. So yes the serious ones are probably not going to see you as a serious candidate if your goal is to bring them to the US and start a family but you haven’t means to do this or a plan to establish these means in the near future.

      I would second the vkontakte recommendation. It’s where I met my friend (now my wife) before I went over. Russians and Ukrainians are generally very friendly to foreigners and very interested in the world around them. It doesn’t take long enough for them to feel enough your friend to help you.

      Here’s the good news: of course young women generally prefer young men. And I found the fundamental difference in dating attitude is this:
      girls here (US) either decide they’re interested or not. If not actively interested they shoot you down.
      Girls in Ukraine/Russia generally say yes as a default barring any obvious unacceptable problem. Then they use your date to assess. If you give them a reason then they decline another date, but the default initial response is completely different.

      That said, you need friends on the ground. Get some. And Ukraine is not homogenous. The regions and their people vary WIDELY!

      Also, I hope you have some savings. Getting a niche job with no language knowledge in a highly protectionist labor market is not going to be easy.

    • L. Gaines on 11/02/2011 at 7:33 pm

      Lets see, you have no money, no job skills, no language, and you plan to move across the world. Think thats REALLY a good idea?

  103. sam r ogilvie on 05/05/2011 at 11:02 am

    Hello Alexander,

    I’ve never been to Ukraine, but I’ve chatted with enough Ukrainians to know that there are some sweet, lovely people over there; just like there are in the States. If you want a girl that loves you for what you are and that will hang around when the inevitable clouds roll in, you are in a great position. There’s no place like the bottom to find the real thing.

    Back in the day when physicians were all about helping people and were known for their wisdom, I made a visit to my family doctor. He was an old white haired guy that looked like he had just stepped out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Well, he leaned back in his chair, draped his arm across a counter and asked me what I wanted to do with my life. After we talked for a few minutes, he said, “Sam, I want to tell you what my father told me. He told me to do what I love and hope and pray I could make a living at it.” He went on to say that he chose the life of a small town, family doctor knowing that the hours would be tremendous and the pay far short of what he could have earned in a large group practice in a metropolitan area, but that he never regretted it. I followed old Doc Smith’s advice and even if I go broke tomorrow, I will never regret it.

    Alexander, I hope you can find a job or career that you have a great passion for, and that you can find a girl to love with all your heart. Sign up at VKontakte and befriend some Ukrainians. I envy your youth and freedom a bit. Have a great time, and be yourself.

  104. johnUK on 05/10/2011 at 3:18 pm

    I was actually looking for Russian girls in uniform during the recent WW2 Victory Day celebrations in Moscow when I found this good The Atlantic page with photos covering the event.

    Hot Russian female police cadets from St Petersburg.


  105. kevin miller on 09/04/2011 at 5:44 pm

    Amen! I have been several times now and I will never look back.

  106. Joe Guy on 10/05/2011 at 9:40 am

    I only made halfway through this blog and the fairy tale that I read can only be believed by simple-minded people. Russian women that emigrate to the US have a chip on their shoulder, are gossipy, have a terrible attitude, and whine when they talk. They are usually grossly overweight, and try to squeeze their massive size into Spandex clothing as a futile attmept to look presentable. They look like their makeup was applied in the dark. Most Russian women are employed as “home health aides” that are not certified, and are in this country illegally. I’ve had firsthand experience. This fat behemoth that was “hired” to care for my ailing aunt sat on her fat behind all day on her computer, and yapped all day on her cell phone. “I cannot do long term” was her favorite line, because she didn’t have her own bedroom in my aunt’s home. When I found out she didn’t have a green card, I called immigration, and sat back as the authorities did their thing. Guys, don’t fall for Russian women on these websites–they’re money hungry women that want their hands on your money, uneducated, and have poor hygiene.

    • Richard on 10/05/2011 at 8:35 pm


      If it is only “personal experience” that you offer, and only that one example which you can present, then I really don’t think you are qualified to speak on a topic that you are clearly so utterly ignorant of.

      I have met, and currently know many women living in NA who came from the FSU. Without exception they are intelligent, educated, personable, attractive and physically fit. They absolutely are NOT “grossly overweight” as you say, which by the way is a far more accurate description of the average ‘born and raised’ NA woman of today.

      Every FSU immigrant I have met has been here legally and they are full time contributors to the economy, unlike 25 or 30 percent of the healthy adults born and raised on NA soil.

      Whatever axe you have to grind regarding one questionable experience you claim to have had with one person you claim to have dealt with, who supposedly came from Russia, it has nothing perceivable to do with what this blog is all about.

      It was once said that “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it is so”.

      I submit that the most “simple-minded” person to join this discussion recently, might possibly be the one I am currently replying to.

      • jamie gates on 10/21/2011 at 10:00 pm

        there is definitely an acceptable axe to grind. and anyone who has had bad experiences is entitled to do it. just because you think you know some russians, you are blogging that MOST RUSSIAN WOMEN ARE…you don’t know so many at all and neither do i. i am an american woman of russian decent and i traveled to moscow and to kazakhstan in 1993 and 1994 for a total of 3 trips. i saw men, many tall, good-looking. i met women who seemed nice. i was romantically involved with three men..1 in moscow, 1 russian from kazakhstan and 1 from belarus. 2 were alcoholic, megalomaniacs, and bad in bed —unbelievably bad. the guy from moscow outsmarted me. he did all the right things and said all the right words because he had a secret agenda. let me make this as clear as possible for you american guys….i am 45 yrs old on my own because of tragic events==divorce, and a child with autism==i have always appreciated the american men that i chose to be around once i knew they were nice guys. it takes TIME…COMMUNICATION AND COMPATIBILITY…while i remember what i did almost twenty years ago was GROUNDBREAKING..for an american girl to travel to the cis during the exciting early 1990′s. there was something that turned me onto wanting to travel there. i have to stop myself from putting that experience on such a pedestal. it’s not easy because it was an amazing thing i did. but bad things happened to me. i was blind to the fact that i was being used for a greencard. i knew it but didn’t want to believe it. 2 marriages and a handicapped child. i put so much time, emotion, frustration into trying to make it work but these guys just did or said whatever they wanted to without regard to my feelings. they are both with russian women. i think that needs to be noted. maybe..years from now..when the russians have been here for several generations will there be a high surge of americans of differing decent with russian americans, just as the irish, german, italians etc.. that are all mixed. i remember my relationships with american men. and i broke up with one great, kind guy because i couldn’t handle his mother’s alcoholism and bipolar mental health problems. after all the crap i have been through now i wish he were available. and another american guy i was briefly involved with but turned down so i could focus on the marriage to 2nd russian which was the worst disaster for me. i was amazed at how tall the men were over there..all pretty much near 6’0 or above. i think that we cannot apply a universality to THESE MEN OR THESE WOMEN. it is much better wisdom to take time, years to get to know someone, for it to have the best possible chance of working out. and when you use these agencies, and you fly the women over here and you only have 3 months to decide on marriage , it’s an awful risk..i mean i tried, i really did and it did not work out. i lost alot of time and money. i just hope that you find what you are hoping to find but be warned. also, from my perspective, i believe that there are zzzzzillions of american girls/women who just wish for a great guy to love us and be our family right here. i think that the since our life is getting harder here, i don’t see alot of american guys i grew up with getting married and they are 40 something. they are content to be single or use woman after woman. i find it hard to compete against foreign women, gay men in america, etc.. i wonder if i’ll ever bump into the guy who would be happy to be with me and my child. i’m scared that her disability would scare them away. i am currently writing a book of my experiences over there.

        • rw_man on 10/22/2011 at 10:26 am


          From the sounds of it I’m pretty sure I’ve had contact with a lot more Russian Women then you have. I’m sorry to hear that you allowed yourself to be used for a green card. This is something that I try to warn guys against all the time and in your case it was just the opposite. Good luck with your book.

        • Richard on 10/22/2011 at 11:23 pm


          I’ve not said here, or anywhere else, that some people are without a legitimate “axe to grind” and furthermore I agree that everyone is entitled to do so, as long as they have a “legitimate” reason.
          Joe has given ONE example of ONE encounter with ONE Russian immigrant and seems to have used that ONE experience to determine that ALL Russian women “have a chip on their shoulder, are gossipy, have a terrible attitude, and whine when they talk”. Based on the information that Joe provided, NO, he isn’t “entitled to” do so in my opinion. If one experience with one person gives us right to put down entire races of people, then we are all just bigoted fools.

          You are absolutely right about the keys to good relationships being TIME and COMMUNICATION. It seems odd however that you say this. I’m not trying to be arrogant here but you also said that you made 3 trips to the FSU in the 2 year span of 1993 and 1994. In that rather short amount of time, you say that you were “romantically involved with three men”. During those three very short romantic relationships you found 2 of those men to be, “alcoholic, megalomaniacs, and unbelievably bad in bed”.

          It’s sad that your personal experiences have left you feeling as you do, but it appears that you went too far, too fast in those relationships and were hurt because of it.

          One of the great shortfalls of our post feminist society is that women have seen a need to play the same sort of “all or nothing” game as men were accused of playing back in the 50s and 60s.

          Throughout most of 1993 and 94, I was with one very wonderful women of European decent. We had a great relationship and romance was in full bloom. She was a classically trained ballroom dancer, a talented artist and a loving mother of 3 when we met. There was no question of bedroom prowess for a very long time as we spent most of our days and nights together simply learning what made each other tick. When the relationship eventually moved to that level, we were already quite involved in the kind of true romance and relationship building that could lead to a life long pairing. Only a tragedy within her family ended up coming between us after nearly two years together and we have regained our friendship since then.

          and COMPATIBILITY
          are cornerstones to solid relationships.
          TIME, not measured in days or weeks . . . .
          COMMUNICATION, open, honest, without agendas . . .
          COMPATIBILITY, in all areas of your life together; not just in bed.

  107. jamie gates on 10/24/2011 at 4:26 pm

    to address how i met these guys and how long the relationships of the two marriages were, etc.. and the guy i left behind in kazakhstan are very long. i will visit this blog in my spare time and give you some generalizations. i agree with you. and to add my own wisdom , for me it took being a fool more than once to learn. i am serious in that i want to warn american men against falling hard and losing their faculties over a foreign pice of i will talk about the three in brief and what happened but only because i hope truly that some kind hearted fool will be helped sincerely by this.

  108. marcus on 11/04/2011 at 12:56 am

    I was recently,3 weeks ago, on a dating site, when I was contacted by a beautiful Russian girl.She gave me her email address and we have been emailing and sending photos every day. She is already saying she is in love with me and wanted to come over (to Australia). When she found out how much it was going to cost , she said we couldn’t be together because she couldn’t afford it. I said I would come over there to meet her and get to know her better. Her reply to that was “don’t come here(Saratov) because there are too many criminals”!!
    I cant believe the lengths these women go to to scam you!

    • Lisa on 11/08/2011 at 11:00 am

      hey marcus
      are u interested in meeting a normal russian girl? or r u completely frustrated?

      • marcus on 11/19/2011 at 2:10 am

        I would be interested in meeting.

  109. Richard on 11/09/2011 at 2:10 pm

    I was thinking about where to drop this in and decided on the FAQ section.

    When the question of FSU women vs North American women comes up, I give you this very recent example of a somewhat typical ad from a modern NA woman posted on a very well known dating site. She is a mid 40s, divorced, Registered Nurse, with two of her 4 kids still living at home and she says, “I DON’T want more”. She’s average looking, Caucasian, 5′ 4″ and of slim build.
    What She Says About Herself:
    I’m fun to be around and hang out with. I’m flexible and open-minded. I am very caring, have a great sense of humor, am spontaneous, and love to try new things. Accept me as I am, or not at all.
    Most people say they like my eyes. Don’t message me asking for “more pics”, cuz the one that I’ve posted here is obviously the one I choose to share right now.
    Don’t expect me to change who I am in order to fit who you want me to be. I smoke cigarettes. I drink occasionally. I like to party and be crazy when I have time. I cuss, I don’t go to church, am very sure of myself, have strong opinions, and I know what I want and need from life and from a man.
    I most definitely am not still trying to figure myself out. Just because I add you as a friend, does NOT mean that I want to sleep with you. Just because I meet you for drinks or lunch, does NOT mean I want to sleep with you.
    Come at me with some respect and I will do the same for you.
    I work long hard hours and odd shifts sometimes. My work is emotionally and physically draining. I love what I do.
    I have 4 kids and 2 grandkids. They will always take priority in my life, and it’s a package deal.
    I like romance. I like passion. I like it if you remember what my drink is at Starbuck’s. I like surprises. I like pink roses. I like my steak rare. FYI: I’m allergic to bullshit, and can spot it a mile away.
    Who She’d Like To “Do Lunch” With:
    I don’t need a man to support me.
    I can do that all on my own.
    I do want a partner who is willing to walk beside me.
    I don’t need to give you a reason why I WON’T go out with you.
    You need to give me or show me reasons why I SHOULD go out with you.
    Do what you say you are going to do. Call when you say you will call. Arrive when you say you will. Be emotionally and physically available.
    I am ready for a serious relationship. I don’t have a lot of spare time for endless messaging, texting, and phone calls that don’t ever lead to anything, so don’t waste my time unless you are bringing real friendship or you are truly considering a relationship with me.
    PLEASE…. if you are under 35 I am not interested.
    I don’t wanna see your web-cam. You aren’t going to see me on my web cam.
    If you go to your doctor JUST to refill your narcotic prescriptions, end up in prison when you are off your meds, have no job, no car, etc – then we AREN’T gonna happen. You need not approach me if you are under 6′ tall.
    I prefer African American gentlemen.
    And please, no one with a hairy back, thank you!!!
    41-54 PLEASE
    Okay, now look at the first line or two of the top portion.
    “I’m fun to be around and hang out with. I’m flexible and open-minded”.
    Does it appear to you that those lines are lost by nearly everything else she says?

    Later she says, “I have 4 kids and 2 grandkids. They will always take priority in my life and it’s a package deal”.
    I don’t think anyone questions how much we love our children or grandchildren, but let’s be honest; if that’s how you intend to BEGIN a relationship, then the odds of that relationship ever lasting are greatly diminished. There is a lot more to building a life together than setting up a sliding scale on where you place your affection. People are not that simple and none of us will stay in any environment once it is clear how far down the ladder we are in someone else’s eyes or heart.

    Next she adds; “I like romance, passion, surprises, pink roses, rare steak and that you remember what my drink is at Starbuck’s”. Well, that sure sounds pretty darn “flexible” to me. (place sarcastic moan and frown here) Oh, and there’s also the, “allergic to bullshit, and can spot it a mile away” comment, which brings to my mind the old saying, “takes one to know one”.

    Then under the “Who She’d like To Do Lunch With” heading, you find several more examples of her “flexibility” and “open mindedness”.

    All in all, you see a clear picture of what sort of man she “wants” (but DOESN’T need) and it starts with 41 to 54 years old ONLY, at LEAST 6 feet tall, smoker, drinker, fowl mouthed, preferably Black, and apparently someone who thinks, talks and acts exactly like her.

    How do you think I would measure up for this woman?
    I’m 58 years old, 5′ 8″ tall, don’t smoke, rarely drink, always try to speak respectfully to others, Caucasian, regular church goer, and cherish my evenings at home with a movie or good book.

    She has been trying to make contact with ME.

    In the world we now live in, pretty much everything is out on the table right from the start, or else it is kept (whenever possible) in deep secrecy forever. The mystery, the adventure and generally the romance is gone from dating and relationship building. I’m not demanding that anyone agrees with me, that this is all wrong, but what is the enticement for anyone, male or female, young or old, to venture out into a dating pool filled with sharks and barracuda?

    Surely there are some trophies in the waters of modern romance, but is it not wise to first scout those waters, see what bait is attracting the catch and maybe set a plan for your journey?

    I believe that when this site first opened, it was because someone found a well stocked pond where most good baits, when presented appropriately, were not just nibbled at, but actually taken.

    The record setting trophy catches never come from some muddy marsh or spring run creek. Smart anglers find out where the “big ones” are biting before they head out to drop a line.

    Please, don’t take offense to the fishing analogy. It isn’t meant to minimalize or degrade anyone. We are all someone’s “catch”, and they are ours.

    Good fishing, everyone.

    • sam r ogilvie on 11/09/2011 at 5:08 pm

      Well, well, Richard. She’s just a lovely, sweet, romantic type for sure, now, isn’t she? I wonder how long it took her first husband to learn all those splendid things about her?

    • Kisha on 11/10/2011 at 3:19 am

      It sounds like she needs a friend. Preferably black, as it’s where her aesthetic sensiblities lead her.

      • sam ogilvie on 11/10/2011 at 8:24 am

        Kisha, luckily I don’t know any angry,walking contradictions like this woman, and I can’t think of a man that would want to be her friend. If I didn’t trust Richard, I would believe the post was a sham. I don’t get out much, but, when I do, I see tables full of women sitting together with nary a man around. This may explain why such a scenario is common.
        It’s upsetting to me to read such posts, because my experience with people is so different, but maybe my experience really is rare and unique.
        I am not confident that any one friend could help that woman. If she wants companionship of quality, she’s going to have to quit swinging a sledgehammer and try a different approach. I wish her all the best.

      • Richard on 11/10/2011 at 7:53 pm


        I believe you are right about women like her probably needing a friend. I think that a lot of the bitterness that I’ve seen in NA women could be helped a great deal by those women having someone to confide in who would be positive and supportive. The challenge seems to be (at least as I see it) that the only women that these girls choose to lean on, are more of the same type who just keep the negativity flowing.

        We are in life, a combination of the books we read and the people we associate with. The negative, post feminist, NA woman reads anti-family books and magazines, watches anti-family TV and movies and then hangs out with other bitter, anti-marriage/family friends who are constantly feeding the whole antagonistic cycle.

        As for this woman’s “aesthetic sensibilities”, I’m sorry but I am a little too old to see it that simple and clear cut. For most of my life I have listened to “liberated” women talking about their sexuality in painfully clear, pitifully degrading ways. “The Black man is bigger so he is better”. I wish it were less true but I have watched this scenario and listened to this b.s. so many times that I could scream. And what’s worst is, my life experience does not show this sort of pairing to be beneficial to the woman.

        With the exception of a few strong Christian couples, I’ve seen much more neglect, indifference and abuse within that dynamic.

        Modern NA women looking to shout out their sexual freedom, are usually the sort that are far more impressed by a big drum set than they are by a skilled drummer.

        • Kisha on 11/11/2011 at 12:36 am

          Richard, that particular woman appears to be painfully lonely. And good half of the things she has written in her profile, is not what she is but what she would like to be. She just can’t say : “look, I’m a single mum who works long hours and, my life is dull I’m very lonely and need someone to talk too, I’m not exactly looking for a husband, I want respect and close relationship, however that would be difficult to do as my work does not allow me a lot of spare time”. She has to put up that front of sucsessful, life sorted out, know what I want type because she wished she was.
          You would see it with Russian women as well “I’m that, I’m this I deserve the best” and all rarara.
          So it’s not just NA women – it’s women in general.

          • Richard on 11/11/2011 at 4:57 pm


            I see, and in some part, agree with your perspective, yet I do not see most of the women posting such profiles in the same way as you.

            In my opinion, it is their arrogance and bitterness from being brought up with an entitlement mentality, which has left them lonely and hurt in the first place.

            We all have to choose a direction in life and NA women have somewhat collectively chosen theirs. That direction is one of self service before and beyond all else. The “ME” mindset is it’s own reward. By always putting their own selfish desires ahead of everything else, they are left alone and lonely. Short term thinking and a demand for pleasing one’s self at all cost has left countless women wondering what happened to their dreams. Ironically, nature has a way of fulfilling many of our root desires this way.

            The longer she continues to “put up this front” if that is what she’s doing, the longer she will be seen as highly undesirable by any intelligent man.

            She is not unattractive, she has a steady job, she’s a mother and she’s not so old as to be feeling out of time. She merely has to wake up to the reality that men are NOT looking for tough, hard nosed, stern and selfish women. They never have been and they probably never will.

          • Richard on 11/11/2011 at 7:45 pm


            I also want you to know that I have met, over the years, several women who were divorced, working full time or multiple jobs, raising a child or children alone and still found time to be dignified and fulfilled in their present situation without being bitter and unapproachable. Those women are quite appealing.

            Unfortunately for me, they are generally much younger (than me) or they are working at avoiding relationships until they have things “more together” or they simply don’t wish to venture outside of the relative comfort of where they are by adding more potential concerns and complications.

            I admire the women who deal with life as responsible adults, admit that everything bad wasn’t the other person’s fault, and feel that they are still of value even without trying to put on battle armor before entering into conversations with a man.

            From my limited experience in other countries, I still believe that I have seen some of the defining characteristics that make women of the FSU and some other regions so attractive to NA men.

            I’m sure that most people, both women and men alike, have an abundance of very similar traits no matter what part of the world they were raised in. However, the key conditions; social, political, economic and environmental, are all honing stones for the adults that we become.

            The values which European immigrants brought to NA for the first few hundred years after NA was settled by their forefathers, are the traditional European values that men on this site are still looking for. It’s those values that us guys still desire to live by.

            Those are the values which have been erased in NA by dilution through continuous, unchecked, over saturation. Millions of people who do not share the same core values pour into NA in hopes of taking advantage of the freedom while giving back little or nothing in return. I believe it was that onslaught which brought us the socialist-feminist hypocrisy that led to our current sad condition.

        • Ken in Atlanta on 12/20/2011 at 4:08 am

          Thanks for the flashback Richard. I dated women on Yahoo about 8 years ago and actually met many very real, very nice, courteous women.
          The process did afford me the opportunity to sort through hundreds of profiles and I was amazed at the absurdity of the “Demands” and “Requirements”. I found it quite entertaining.

          It was suggested that the woman you referenced needs a friend??? Really?? Does it take a friend to tell another middle-aged adult to stop behaving like a pretentious, arrogant, demanding teenager? In my world you are rejected when you act like this. The loneliness causes you to stop acting like a fool.

          I think women like this just need to look in the mirror and watch the wrinkles grow as they live out their lonely lives and not contaminate their friends.

          I really do love people and I am a total fan of women, but I have never seen a woman of this “Caliber” become a civilized adult. She acts this way because it’s defines her view of her world. I would suggest that a woman like this will become more unpleasant as she ages and realizes that she is not going to live out some fantasy life that she felt was her birthright.

          If she is “Saying what she wants to be” as if it is really her desire, then she is being very unfair to the poor fool that dates her. These people scare me.

          All is not lost though. Perhaps the children of women like this will see that Mom chases away good men, and they will want to do the opposite. You know,like being unusually pleasant, feminine, respectful, friendly, honest and realistic.

  110. Richard on 11/10/2011 at 7:27 pm


    Over a year ago, I started saving some of the profiles that I found posted on the most popular dating sites. Naturally, my odd sense of humor mixed with an equally strong admiration for the absurd, led me to keep some of the best examples of women who claim to want a man in their life but clearly go out of their way to drive all men away.

    This profile wasn’t so much the worst, but only the most recent in a series of about 50 or 60 similar profiles posted by women from all around the US and Canada.

    What really strikes me as sad, is that when this particular woman first wrote to me, I thought it was a mistake, so I ignored her note. When she tried to contact me again, I wondered if she had even read my profile. On that dating site, I only have a picture of me standing next to one of my hot rods, so I guess she likes fast cars. But all of the info in my posting on that site would clearly indicate that her and I would have no character traits in common.

    Once again, I put it all on the superficiality of NA women today. At the same time, I know that a lot of men cruise these sites in the same mental mode; stopping only on the profiles with pictures of “hot” babes.

    For the most part, I don’t look at any of those sites very often. Same old stuff, same old b.s., nothing worth spending any time or effort on. But each time I do check back on any of them, I’ll find 5 or 6 profiles like the one above.

    By the way, when I do go out, I usually see tables of ladies, too. Once in a while I’ll spot someone I know but I don’t say anything to them, however I have seen a few of the single moms in my area out together and as a rule they are drinking (a lot) and condemning men all night long. Then with barely a passing breath they are complaining about the lack of “decent” guys that are around now.

    If I fail to understand these women enough as to never have another meaningful relationship, I will probably be the better for it.

    • sam ogilvie on 11/12/2011 at 5:46 pm

      Thanks for sharing that with me, Richard. I’ve read the woman’s profile repeatedly, and, with the knowledge that this is one of many and not the worst you have saved, my understanding of your position on NA women has grown. As I said before, this woman is a walking contradiction. In my mind, the line that is most definitive of her character is, “Come at me with some respect, and I will do the same for you”. In a profile filled with warnings to potential suitors, and negative assumption after negative assumption about the intent and behavior of potential suitors, she dares to ask someone to show her respect, and pledges to be respectful only if he shows her respect. She dares to ask men to accept her as she is, yet fills the page with superficial demands and ludicrous qualifications of her own! Heaven help us if this woman is the norm. I would be extremely pleased to find that Kisha’s intuition is correct, but I am not banking on it. I am struggling mightily to find anything positive in her profile. How a woman with that attitude can exhibit love and concern for her patients is beyond me. Richard, you know the formula well: No wife= no problems other than potential loneliness; One bad wife=multiple problems, hell on earth and true loneliness. If this is what you have to choose from, I extend my sympathy, and advise you to run like heck away from them all. Thanks so much for your continued input here. Good content is hard to find.

  111. Ikariotiko on 11/22/2011 at 11:34 am

    Hi there American, I am half French half Spanish and I met a Russian woman 4 years ago..Its a long story, but I would like to ask you first why you say: “Russia, like it’s women, is a huge mystery because one moment it reaches out to embrace you with all the love in the world… And then in another moment it can reach out to squash you like a bug”?
    Doesnt it sound like a psychopathic behavior? Is there a kind of enjoyment from Russian woman by hurting the people that love them?

  112. Paul on 12/11/2011 at 12:18 pm

    Hi all i am from England and dated a girl from Poltava in the Ukraine for just under a year, she moved to England at 21 and had been married for 7 years while here to another Englishman but was divorced before we meet, she was 33 and i was 29 at the time and i have to say she was amazing to be with at the start but a nightmare towards the end!!!!!!
    If you wish to start a relationship with a girl from one of the old USSR counties you must understand they have very old fashioned values when it comes to dating and marriage BUT!!!!! have a very modern western outlook on clothes cars houses which compared to their homeland is far more expensive here!!!!! the dating process at the start i have to say was refreshing we didn’t even share a proper kiss til the 4th date, we talked for hours and she loved the fact that i knew about her culture as we had to learn about Russia while i was at school, this helped alot!!!!
    But your not just dating her but also her family back home, see most girls who leave are looking for a better life not just for them but also their parents who they leave behind, most girls wish to send money back home as healthcare isn’t free unlike in Great Britain. im not saying all girls from these places are like this but when i lavished her she gave me so much affection it was unbelievable but i found when i said i didn’t have as much money one month she sulked and complained that i was treating her badly and towards the end she told me she will never pay for anything in a marriage long term!!!!
    she told me that all Ukrainian lady’s are brought up to expect this from their partners and to be a kept wife!!! it seemed as long as the money was there it was great when not she moaned and sulked!!!
    I later found out her husband was in alot of debt trying to keep her happy once he said he had money trouble she left him even after paying for operations for both her parents!!!!
    not to scare people off but this was my experience deeper the pockets the better!!!!

  113. Andy G on 01/12/2012 at 12:39 am

    I like this thread, I know that it shows the views from an American persons point, nearly all of the topics relate to an American way of things, some of which don’t relate to us in the UK for instance, bearing in mind that the US is much more cosmopolitan than we are over here, there are many more nationalities in the US but the articles still give a good idea of where to look.

    I have tried dating sites, for the normal working class person they are just so expensive, I have gained some experience from them, dating agencies don’t take any notice of what you put in your profile, I put down an age range & reasons why, some agencies will edit your profile to suit themselves, they also advise the ladies to write, I assume they earn from the ladies that use the agencies when they write to us, they don’t advise them that they will be wasting their time, live chat on any agency will rob you, they cost a fortune, I also have noticed that although most agencies charge in USD, they also charge the same dollar/euro/GBP, 1$=£1=1euro, personally I don’t recommend them.

    I notice that on here it says if you know of any try to talk to these ladies, as I mentioned that is more likely in the US than over here in the UK as over here we tend to have more Polish, Indian, & other Europeans but not so many FSU ladies, that said, there may bbe more in the bigger cities in the UK, who knows?

    For all of those looking for a lady from the FSU, I can honestly say that although I never thought to ask for a contact address/phone number, the FSU ladies that I have had the privelige to meet have been really nice, polite & obliging (I don’t mean in the sexual sense) ladies that I could wish to meet. they are very nice people, so good luck with your search.

    • gs paul on 02/03/2012 at 1:07 am

      I am very interested in travelling to Russian/Ukraine and meeting
      a very nice woman. I am mid40′s and finacially secure. If anyone knows the best way to meet someone of quality please let me know. I am not interested in a website or service. Thank you all for any advice of help–


  114. Mauricio on 01/24/2012 at 4:20 am

    For the past two months I have been communicating via e-mail with a 28 year old woman originally from a small town named Kepina that is currently pursuing her career in Severodvinsk. We have been exchanging long e-mails and plenty of pictures on a daily basis and have become very close to each other. We have both claimed our love for each other even though we have never met. It is rather strange to love someone through letters and pictures because it seems impossible but in all honesty, my heart tells me it is the path I should take. We both believe that we have found our other half and have agreed to meet each other in the very near future. She has chosen to visit me in the US rather than me visiting her in Severodvinsk. We are about to embark on the Visa process and after researching for a couple of hours, I see that it is going to be a hell of a challenge. I would greatly appreciate any type of advice any of you could share with me as I am a complete novice to this. FYI, I am a Mexican Citizen with Permanent Resident Status in the US. I assume that if the US route fails I can always try the Mexican one. I am in the dark here and would be indebted to any good person looking to help another. Gracias!

  115. Rafael on 02/29/2012 at 2:47 pm

    I have been writing to someone living in Russia…she is planning to come visit me here in America…she have even send me a picture of herself holding a card board stating “I Love Rafael”…it was something I asked her to do…I needed to see if she was for real…

    Now I am almost convinced…but I still leave room for something disappointing…I hope it is not a scam…

    My question to you…is there a way to find out 100% that she is for real…? Thank you.



  116. Lonnie on 03/20/2012 at 8:13 am

    I have meet a woman from tyumen, Russia she is 27 and im 39. We have shared pics and e-mailed every day for a month or so. She wants to come to come and be with me, she has not asked for money yet i have offered to help pay and she has told me i dont need to. But she says she does not have the money she said she needs to save 730.00 to go to moscow to get her visa and the 730.would pay for the trip there and her stay along with the visa cost. I want to help but dont full trust sending money to help her.

  117. Joe on 03/30/2012 at 5:16 am

    I am a divorced Japanese man living in a Southeast Asian country. I am in my early 40s and happened to register in a Russian dating site just to look around the photos of registered ladies out of curiosity. I am a free standard member so I cannot communicate with anyone unless I write to a non-standard, payment-based lady or she writes to me. As far as I know, those kinds of female non-standard members are usually rare, especially young, beautiful ones.

    Along the way, I received a contact from a non-standard Ukranian woman with her email address. She did not put her photo in her list and as soon as I received her first email, I noticed her profile had been gone from the site. In her email she said she is in her late 20s living in a small East Ukranian city. We began to exchange email letters day by day. She said she had been divorced once due to her young marriage, with her ex-husband wanting to play around more with girls. She has impressed me with her gorgious photos and very feminine, sincere, and serious attitudes towards her re-marriage. Like me, she said she also engages in the educational sector (she knows I have Ph.D. from USA).

    I explained to her that I am not a rich man and I can go to see her in Ukraine only after several months from now. I said this as she was showing her desire to see me first and exchange more letters afterwards. I was also inviting her to the country where I live now with my money later. In response to my long messages, her reply was rather short, not really showing her delight to see me in months from now. This caused me to think that she was not much interested in meeting me nor was she interested in myself but rather in my potential speck as an affluent foreign man which just turned out to her not to be the case. Indeed it will be significant costs for me in going to see her in Ukraine (given that we may not end up being a couple) but she seemed to take my proposals so lightly.

    So I sent her another letter saying like in my opinion she deserves a Western European man living closer to her, and said good bye to her politely. I had thought this would end everything. Having received my farewell messages, however, she still sent me a quick reply sounding as normal as she used to be, with attached photos, not readily addressing my concerns nor touching on my willingness to end our relations, yet in the end only adding “come back to me” sort of comment. This response was simply a complete wonder to me…

    So far we have exchanged emails for only less than a couple of weeks or so. That said, my question to you is regarding the possibility of her being a scammer. In her first letter she declared she is not looking for a sponsor; so far she has never asked me money nor has claimed for her willingness to come to see me for our first meeting.

    That said, do you think that she is likely a scammer, wanting to marry me, get divorced, and get Japanese citizenship to do whatever she wants? Or is she mainly interested in myself (if not all)?

    • Richard on 03/30/2012 at 11:22 am


      There are a few things in what you’ve said which lead me to believe that this communication is not worth your time and effort.

      The woman who wrote to you with her email address was most likely pulled from the site “because” she sent you an address. That is a big “no-no” in the online dating business because it establishes free communication and they sites can’t get rich from such actions. More importantly, the women who cruise the sites as non-paying members, are often looking for “marks” to open lines of communication with to establish the platform for their scams. Usually, one woman (or guy posing as a woman) will “hit” 10 or 20 men each time they open a non-paying account and their letters to you (as well as each of those other men) are carbon copy “bait” to see who will bite. After they have run through all of their “marks” to see how much they make, they just open another non-paying account under a new, fake name and do it all over again.

      There are legitimate businesses around for online dating and they all have pretty firm policies and rules, but that doesn’t mean that everyone who signs up (and we’re talking about millions of people) is for real. Such an open arena as the world wide web and all of the little institutional guardians within it, can NEVER curb the amount of unethical practices going on every day throughout the entire system.

      If you have only been writing to her for a couple of weeks, neither of you should be too concerned about a first meeting just yet. If you mentioned to her that it would take several months before you could visit her, that’s fine, but her response should not be critical on that basis. (generally the scammers are very interested in meeting right away, at your expense, even if they don’t come right out and ask you to either come to them or send money for them to visit you)

      All relationships must start somewhere, but a relationship of value can not happen through a few emails a week over the course of a couple of weeks. The groundwork for anything substantial will take months of regular communication followed by planning a first meeting and then actually getting together.

      Everyone knows that our society is dictating “instant” everything. There is an expectation of immediate romance and relationships coming from a chance meeting on some singles site, because that is the societal hype that we are constantly seeing around us, and also because everyone has become so damned dependent on “devices” for every daily function in life. The reality is; build a better foundation, and what you are building will last longer.

      Since my divorce, I have had two long term, long distance, online friendships with women. Neither has become anything more and I still hear from both of them from time to time. Relationships are a bi-product of familiarity. We simply do not become familiar with people in a couple of weeks.

      Occasionally I will begin writing to someone overseas, but most often it is pretty casual and rarely lasts very long. That’s fine because I know that if there is something there to build on, it will begin showing up eventually as the communication continues.

      In the past, I have listed myself on a couple of singles sites over here just to see what was out there (and believe me – most of those women are really OUT THERE) only to find that the VAST majority of women on the sites are nothing but modern, feminist thinking, welfare minded losers looking to prove their “power” over men. (let’s face it, they can’t all be; laid back, easy going, no baggage, etc, etc, etc) What’s more, nearly all North American women on dating sites consider “average build” to mean 50 pounds or more overweight, and they all have a laundry list of “wants” but never mention what they have to “give” in a relationship.

      If you are serious about finding someone, start at home, then add some online opportunities and watch how things progress. Be patient. “Forever” is a long enough time without jumping into a situation that will make it seem like “an eternity”.

  118. Larry on 06/21/2012 at 3:53 pm

    I live in a condo here in the U.S. that’s has lots of Russian women. They don’t appear very approachable. As a matter of fact they look rather unfriendly.

    • Michael on 07/26/2013 at 5:56 am

      They are simply serious and they have class. You want to attract them? Be a prince. Inside and out. For real. Believe me, they see you coming a mile away. And they know how to recognize prince material. Don’t misjudge them. They are your sisters. Love them.

  119. Shiloh Gray on 07/07/2012 at 7:55 pm

    Hi, Okay so if I was to go to Russia should I learn Russian or not? Do most Russian men speak english?

    • rw_man on 09/09/2012 at 11:16 am

      More Russian Women then Men speak English but you certainly need to learn as much of the language as you can.

  120. Samaco on 07/23/2012 at 6:16 am

    I am happy to see this forum , its good and full of helping to anyone that need good advise and wanted to learn things about western women , I am a Cameroonian planing to go to russia ,
    I have a questions , will it be easy for me to get a russian woman that will be of help for me , I didn’t have anybody there but I am mechanical engineer and am in late 30s , I didn’t want to get woman through online agency , I believe I will be there and any woman that will be of help for me will be someone I will marry and call her my wife , pls advise me thanks

  121. Samaco on 07/26/2012 at 11:52 am

    I ask a questions here but I didn’t get reply , I said will it be possible for me to get a russian woman who is 40+ am late 30s , I wish I could see a woman that can accept who I am , who I can get married with and live with , I am mechanical engineer , african man from cameroon pls I need ur suggestion , I love what ur doing here keep up

    • rw_man on 09/09/2012 at 11:15 am

      It all comes down to the individual woman as in all cases between foreign men and Russian Women. But I see you are being realistic on the age side so yes I’d say it’s possible.

  122. Joe R on 09/03/2012 at 11:14 pm

    What was the name of the agency that was listed on #17 in a Texas city?? Also, are there any Russian women that end up going to any other countries for example Mexico or Argentina? Or is it only in the US or England?

  123. lee on 09/09/2012 at 11:10 am

    Is Russia still a good place for western men to meet beautiful women or have those days gone forever?

    • rw_man on 09/09/2012 at 11:12 am

      Lee read through this site and decide for yourself.

  124. lee on 09/10/2012 at 9:48 am

    If those photos of the women are recent, I am inclined to believe I was misinformed.

  125. Lee on 09/13/2012 at 3:36 am

    RW, since you actually live in Russia, perhaps you could share some opinions? has it changed? is it now merely a big western country or are these stunning women still mostly available?

    • rw_man on 09/13/2012 at 7:53 am

      Oh god are you kidding me? :-)

      Demographics doesn’t change easily in this environment. The Women are here don’t worry.

  126. Lee on 09/14/2012 at 6:14 am

    I can only go by what I been told and that was not to bother because things had changed there and in Ukraine. “all played out” was the exact quote! Good to read your opinion however.

    • rw_man on 09/14/2012 at 8:01 am

      The fact that they are using the term “All Played Out” should say something to you. If Men are there to “play” then “stay away”. Men are fools for thinking this when they go to the FSU.

      These women aren’t stupid. They have years of experience recognizing charlatans in their own country who are much more polished than their western counterparts.

      Deep down inside all of these women are looking for a brave man who is willing to jump into the deep end of the pool to be their husband and not some insecure clown who is just dipping his toe in the water to test things out. They know they are women.. so approaching them as something less then that is deeply insulting to them although they would never show that to you.

  127. Lee on 09/15/2012 at 9:07 am

    Thank you for that reply and to me, it sounds the most sensible. perhaps you could write a 2012/13 e book on all of this and set the record straight?

  128. Mij Blunt on 10/18/2012 at 7:28 pm

    Russian women have caught on to the American way of life because of the fast fact finding internet where they can gain information very quickly even from the remotest regions of Siberia. There a lots of Russian women in America now as well who write their friends back in Russia, Ukraine, etc., and explain the American way of life. Do not try to marry any Russian woman who has been here in the U.S. They are spoiled like most American women and want it both ways. They expect men to court them and spend a ton of money on them. I would say if you marry any Russian or FSU, be extremely careful. These women know all about American men and their pensions, they know all about the divorce system here, etc. Do not marry without a prenuptial. You are a fool if you think you will marry a younger Russian or FSU woman and think they will stay with you. They will learn all the tricks and then dump you in a heart beat. I’ve read all about these horror stories.

    • rw_man on 10/18/2012 at 7:41 pm

      Ahh.. Yeah right.. ALL Russian Women are out to game poor unsuspecting you..

      Meanwhile in the real world some of us are busy making families and raising beautiful kids together.

      You create what you fear.. or in your case.. despise.

  129. Lee on 10/23/2012 at 9:18 am

    I have been chatting to MANY young/hot Russian women on a non dating site [ interpals ] and they, with the other eastern european women,are the most friendly women I have ever chatted to. and yet,the 45 year old hogs from the USA, wont even reply!

    • Michael on 07/26/2013 at 5:59 am

      Labeling people doesn’t help anything. That 45 year old “Hog” still deserves your love and respect. Calling a Russian woman “Hot” would probably land you in the hospital.

  130. AK Guy on 11/21/2012 at 6:33 pm

    I can say without a doubt, Russian women are the most beautiful women on earth. Having grown-up in the former Russian capitol of Alaska (Kodiak), and having grown-up Russian Orthodox, Russians were not an uncommon sight. Being part Russian myself (1/8), my first Russian language teacher was a blonde haired, blue eyed beauty from Moscow. Nothing against American girls. I’ve only ever gone out with American girls. But having seen many come to visit here, I can definitely say I’m very tempted in going to Russia. I doubt many would find an Alaska fisherman to be their wildest dreams, but who knows.

    • rw_man on 11/21/2012 at 6:42 pm

      I can certainly relate :)

      Had no idea that you had a significant population of Russian Women in Alaska.. Sounds interesting and I hope you share more.

      • AK Guy on 12/19/2012 at 1:56 pm

        We have Russian history in Alaska, especially in southern Alaska which was under Russia for about 70 years. Many, many people here are part Russian, with many names ending in “Off” (Shelikoff, Pestrikoff, Baranoff…). Even the Native population of Alaska is largely Russian Orthodox. But, about Russian women, we do get a fair number who pass through, and many come to live. There is a Russian woman who goes to my church who came to Alaska specifically to look for a Native husband. And many come through because of Alaska’s Russian Orthodox history. It’s definitely been a plus seeing so many Russians come to our church. Every Russian I’ve met has been kind, funny, and very enjoyable to be around. The girls, overwhelmingly, have been quite beautiful. Mostly blondes, which is my preference anyways. Fun people.

  131. Kate on 08/06/2013 at 6:21 pm

    Please, correct in #20 — Peter the Great ruled Russia from 1682 till 1725, not in 19th century.
    Russian Woman

  132. Johannes on 09/01/2013 at 10:58 pm

    Just interesting
    Her comments before a barbed question will fly.
    Me 57, her 38 with 2 children 11 and 5.
    Been together 18 months.
    Yes I am in love with her and she says same about me (more than I will ever know). Planned on getting married but … personality changes give me second thoughts.
    Due to passport require visa trips which I have met each 2 months plus costs for trips back to Russia as she was feeling depressed and unsure. Each time returned more loving.
    Children have taken time, but now after many difficult months of getting to know them and me and boundaries set we are enjoying each other and love and care for them.
    The ‘but’ … Angry fits, abusive physically to the children, slapping, hair pulling and racist (seems hereditary, passed down from mother to daughter, as daughters have same feelings… which by the way trying to stamp out.
    To me, blames me for everything that goes wrong out of my control (particularly passport/visa problems) then turns bitchy…. sleeps with children and I get silent treatment until I apologise for losing my temper…. Yes I do especially when at airport trying to fill out visa forms for her she snatches these from me and starts screaming in Russian and crying… I just ask that she ‘not be bitchy’ then she screams ‘I and my kids just stupid russian bitches’…
    Now she is intelligent, lovely and does not want to learn English … prefers to learn Italian… Me I tell her I am lazy and do not want to learn Russian … Communication problems do incite arguments….
    So … Question where can I get (online?) help for her?
    Over the anger management issues mainly?
    Her attitude is that I should not talk about these problems outside our family … in other words silence.
    This is not me and can see children changing .. quick to anger and aggression …
    Problem is the eldest girl I arranged for bracers … Her face does not look pretty when slapped by an adult nor her sister who is half her age…. Yes youngest physical as well, plus mind games between two intelligent children quite serious…

    So without addressing this issue we do not go further in our relationship.

  133. joe doherty on 11/16/2013 at 8:04 pm

    I have shared about eleven emails with my Russian pen pal-After reading this blog-I can understand the courting aspect.
    Didn’t know about the complexities of the culture.
    The approach to getting to know a Russian girl-even before it gets to the courting phase is a complex thing of itself. You do have to win her. whatever rules may apply to the American girl forget. For a Russian girl, There are stages-and questions she will ask. and only if she likes your answers will she open up to you. When she does it is like a Tsunami of love and affection and tenderness. Having the knowledge of the culture definitely brings a different perspective. I thoroughly enjoyed learning. I have to wonder about the differences in complexities-using a metaphor of an instruction manual comparatively between Russian and American women….

  134. Katay on 12/27/2013 at 8:12 am

    Hello, everybody!
    I’m a living in Russia Russian girl. The fact that correlation between Russian men and Russian women is 2:3 is true absolutely!
    Secondly the fact that most part of Russian men have big problems with alcohol is true too (I’m a widow and my last husband drank each day till he was killed by his an drinking companion).
    Thirdly unfortunately Russian men have not very good their personality (Once after two years of my last husband’s death I tried to find a Russian guy just for going to a cinema and a pizza cafe (without sex) and…..I was not successful. All Russian guys who wrote me wanted to get something from me: sex, money, to stay living at my apartment because he had not one.
    Fourth there actually are a lot of Russian women who have great personality, they are beautiful inside and outside and really want to find a partner – husband abroad just because they are not successful in search of a Russian husband-partner in Russia.
    Fifth BUT a guy who wants to start looking for a Russian bride-wife has to remember! there also exist enough many Russian girls who want to find an American husband just because he is an American. (Almost all Russian girls find all American guys are rich and life in America looks like a fairy tale. LOL ) In general there exist enough Russian girls who just interested in…money. That’s sad, but that’s true :-(
    But if a guy will be attentively he will understand who is a girl who he has contact with.
    At the end I would like to wish everybody:
    Good Luck in your search or in your marriage with a Russian girl!!!
    Have a nice day!

    • rw_man on 12/27/2013 at 5:20 pm

      Hi Katay!

      Thanks for letting all of us know what the situation is like for you ladies over there. Many challenges indeed but I believe the more you reach out like you’ve been doing the more opportunities you will ultimately have to meet someone you can be with. Take care!

  135. Nani on 02/28/2014 at 12:09 am

    Being an American woman, I can’t deny that a lot of women in America are not the 1940s-1960s wives they used to be. I think feminism is more of a movement that supports females to be over men, which is hypocritical in every way. Biologically, men are naturally in need of control and care of their women. I’m not saying that women should be slaves, but that they should support their men rather than start a worldly debate. But I think it’s too much of a generalization that all American women (or “most”) are [enter stereotype here]. America is a pool full of different women with different beliefs and personalities. I understand if you feel hurt from past experiences, but rubbing the pain off of the millions of women you’ve never had the chance to speak to won’t fix it. Some of these men saying that American women have certain needs (I guess a no-no) are also adding in what they expect of Russian women. Women have their natural needs and support from their lovers too. I am engaged to a man from the states and I am willing to offer him everything I have to give. The last thing I want to do is leave his side. Russian women are beautiful, and I support foreign marriages as long as the love is real.
    Good luck to all the men out there seeking their future partners in Russia and else where. Everyone deserves someone who they can call theirs.

    • rw_man on 02/28/2014 at 1:54 pm

      Hi Nani thanks for the comment. That was a very nice and balanced post and I think you nailed all the key points about women in general.

  136. Andrew sellery on 04/21/2014 at 4:31 pm

    I am a 59 yr. old Man seeking a life partner. I have been contacted by a young Russian woman of 29, very mature, beautiful, smart and accomplished. We have exchanged a dozen or so emails and our relationship grows in a very sweet way. Our age difference seems to only troubles me, but if one cares for another and carries with him much in the way of life experience, marriage, children, it is only fair to share all the challenges this potential romance is fraught with. None the less, the more honest I share what will be difficult, the more she admires my truthfulness, and the more she finds me attractive. In America a man of 59 has little chance with a women 49 much less 29. For me this is a difficult transition. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for all the information in this post. Blessings, Andrew

    • Anastasia on 06/12/2014 at 8:05 am

      Hello Andrew, follow your fears. So sorry, but its really big difference between 59 – 29. No chance…
      Try to find older than 45.
      Best regards

  137. Orlando on 04/23/2014 at 7:54 am

    Hello GL.

    I am sooo glad I stumbled upon your website. Please read my story and tell me what you think.
    I am a man in my mid 40s but in very good physical condition. I am a widower. I do not do the dating scene thing because I really am not looking (I’ve seen it all). I am a very private person. I have never ever even considered going to some type of online dating site (Russian or otherwise) and neither have I ever considered being interested in a Russian girl/woman, even though I have been raised around and instructed by people from various countries from around the world. I have always been considered by most to be a gentleman and I believe in good old fashion chilvary (A self confessed romantic). I am of a foreign and mixed heritage but I am considered by some people to be an “African American” and I currently live in what is called the deep south of the U.S.A.

    Now, through my line of work (Independent Contractor), I had a business appointment at the office of a company who has contracted out my services for the next 2 1/2 months. I was taken by complete surprise when I was greeted in the office by the new receptionist. She is a woman that seems naturally full of grace, innocence and cultivation (not something that you can learn in some etiquette class). Let me say I have been around so many women with beautiful appearances but what she has is so uniquely and genuinely beautiful from deep within. She exemplifies class and natural beauty that is very difficult to find in many American women. Yet, I actually have trouble remembering just what she looks like with any detail but at the same time she is so unforgettable. I was so stunned by her that I sat in the office lobby just staring at a wall in order not to inappropriately gaze at her. She then asked me a few questions about my line of work (small talk) and I was so pleased to hear her talk but I could not place the origin of her accent. Yes, as I later found out from another person at the company…she is from Russia. I do not know her age (and I dare not ask) but I think she must be in her mid to late 20s (although I am terrible at guessing ages).

    As a result of my work I have to call that office about two to three times a week and every time I call she immediately answers and greets me by my name without me even saying who I am and before I can even say hello. Our conversation is usually very short (not much past how are you today with pauses of silence). When I do have to visit the office to drop off items (strictly for business purposes of course), she immediately gets up from behind her desk and comes over to greet me. I am trying to remain as professional as possible in this work environment but man! After about my second or third visit to the office I noticed that she wore a ring on her left hand ring finger and I was totally confused until I came to this website and read that it is a part of the Russian culture for single women.
    I am just wondering if she conducts herself with other clients and business associates in the same manner as she does me (getting up from her desk to come over and greet me and immediately greeting me by name when I call on the phone before I can say hello) or mabey I am just mis-reading the whole situation. Is she indicating that she is actually interested in me? I think i have been out of the loop a little too long to be sure about this situation, I was a faithful husband for 20 years until my wife died last year.

    So, I started catching up on some very basic Russian phrases and when I just simply ask her “how are you doing” and said “goodbye” to her in Russian, she seemed so pleasantly surprised and even blushed and she seemed to open up to me even more. That’s when I asked her how long she had been here in the U.S. and she said for eleven years.

    Now I really want to know as much as I can about her situation before I go any further with this peaked interest but without having to ask her any personal details I have not developed any real personal relationship with her at this time. I am trying to stay professional until I know that there maybe a legitimate opportunity to develope a closer relationship…I am not in any hurry at all. So here are my main three questions that mabey you can give me some insight on:

    1. What are the possible circumstances that would cause or allow her to be here in the U.S. for 11 years? I know that she can not be here on a student or tourist visa for that long. Is this good or a sign of a possible previous American marriage and subsequent divorce?
    2. Do you think from what I have stated about her thus far that she considers herself showing me signs that she is interested in me personally?
    3. Here is where it may get a little sticky. I am in direct and frequent communication with the CEO of this company who is from China and we have a very good business relationship, although he is usually in one of his other offices in two other states but his company has a strict policy against fraternization between its employees. Yet, I am not an employee but a an outsourced independent contractor. I am not sure how this company policy might become a problem for her employment status (I would not dare want her employment to be jeopardized as a result of me. So what say you on these issues?

    Thank you very kindly, for having such a legitimate and valid website.

    • daHollander on 05/06/2014 at 6:56 am

      Hello Orlando,

      Welcome, and thank you for your nice story and to tell about your impression of a Russian woman. It was very interesting.

      I can’t give you a good advice, however I have no any experience of companies in the United States (Rights and obligations).
      I don’t know, what you have decide to do, to get more information, when you was or is interested in this lady. What have you already achieved?
      I can say, look around, there a lot of (Russian) woman, who can accept your attention for the next part of your life.


      • Orlando on 05/12/2014 at 12:59 am

        Thank you dahollander.
        It appears that I will have to take your advice. As I previously mentioned, she is a Russian woman (from Siberia) who wears a ring on her left hand marriage finger…I thought it was just a part of her Russian culture but she told me that she is married. Oh well, so much for that. I will have to seek out another beautiful, cultivated and poised Russian woman who is single and who might see me as more than just her eye candy. Any suggestions…anyone?

        • Anastasia on 06/12/2014 at 7:56 am

          Hello, Orlando. You are very romantic man, and your story very gently, pity that she married, but I hope you will meet with another woman, maybe not Russian, but the same wonderful as from your story :)

  138. daHollander on 05/06/2014 at 6:17 am

    Hello dear reader,

    A couple of month’s ago, I had a bad experience with a Russian woman, from a dating site. March 2013, I met her there and we communicate 3 months. After it was sounding interesting to meet her personally in her city. From the first moment, I was thinking, that all was good. Second meeting in her city, during the New Year, it was ok but I had some strange feelings, when I was going back to my country, I was speaking with her about that. I was not satisfied, and I called 2 of my Russian friends, for more information. I was shocked and deep hurt, when I must read, that she was already married, before we learn each other better. I sent a message to the dating site, which claimed, that woman are checked. They told me, that not all women can’t be checked, that it will happen rarely that a woman is married. They requested me, some details, she was removed next day.

    Now a couple of months further, I met another woman of another site.
    She comes from Ukraine.

    After some message, we decided to communicate over Skype and with webcam, and it looks me real. All information, what I can find of her, is ok. Except at some sites, only 1 year difference of her age. But in the beginning, she told me the truth about her age and profession, and places where she was living in the past.

    Ok, I get a sign of a red flag. In my opinion, is she sitting on a pink cloud. She makes already plans for a real meeting, or ask me, if I can invite her to come to my country. I know, when it’s true, where she is living, it’s very difficult for her at this moment, because of all the riots in Mariupol and she have 2 small kids. Make this her so unsure?

    I told here, that she must have some patience, we know each other for a couple of days, she agree and I told her, when everything is ok, I will inform her, that I will meet her. I have also told her about my bad experience with a Russian woman, she showed her understanding and said, that this is Ukraine????

    We have a lot in common, but I don’t want to do things so fast. I am down to the earth person. Also she shows already very fast, that is is in love and send cuddles.

    She runs a little too fast, or am I crazy?

    I hope that someone can give some advice and their opinion??


    • Anastasia on 06/12/2014 at 2:09 am

      Yes, she runs a little fast, but also I think people shouldn`t waiting for long times (months, years??). If you decided meet her, then just meet and time will show. You can`t know her well by virtual anyway, only real meeting.
      Don`t send money. If you want she come to you, buy ticket. I dont know price about american visa, but I dont think that its much expensive. Or tell to her that will back money for visa in real meet (and back please))

      best regards, Anastasia.

  139. Anastasia on 06/12/2014 at 1:50 am

    Hello. I want to tell my story here. Im Russian woman and live in Russia. My name is Anastasia.
    I learn English (its still poor and I apologize))
    2 month ago I met with a man from Latin America at webseite for learn languages. We had simple converstions, day by day know each other and felt sympathy. That man told me that he live in USA for 10 years and work there as a teacher, this summer will go to Russia for travel and want meet with me.
    I live far away from Moscow and St.Petersburg. Near Siberia, but man assure me it`s doesnt matter and he could come everywhere for me just for meeting. And ask me could I move to another country if I fall in love. I never want live in USA, I have normal and comfortable life here in Russia. Im not rich, but I have work and earn not much money but enough for my single life :)
    I imform I dont have much wish to live in USA, and he told me that he can move to Russia for me (american guys, really do u want to live in Russia?)))
    We continue talk, few days ago I ask his date of birtyday. His reaction was: are you an spy? a scammer?
    I felt like I got hit in the face…
    I never ask his money, never wonder his salary…
    After that unpleasant conversation I check mindfully our conversations and start to search information about that man…
    I found that he lied to me and told me wrong name and age. about age 38, but actually older than 50, age of my parents :)

    For now I try to understand, why? what for??????? He is teacher in school… I wished to write a letter to his school, but changed my mind, I don`t want spoil life to anybody, but I have doubt for now. Is he maniac maybe?

    So, men!!! Not just Russian women want something from you)) we both side could be injured…
    I dont believe to anybody anymore, for sure :)

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