Ok Let’s face it..
We American’s generally DON’T know how to dress ourselves to an acceptable standard..
And yes I’m talking about us Men as well..
(Because we’ve already said more then a few things about the obvious lack of fashion sense that many American Women are deprived of.)
I don’t know how we lost our ability as a culture to look good.. but I think it has much to do with our desire to remain a class-less oriented society throughout our history along with the counter-culture and anti-establishment movements which grew from the 60′s on.
But of course any of this can simply be used to interpret us as a “classless” society as well.
Regardless of how this situation came about here’s the bottom line..
Unless you want to be seen as an uneducated homeless person or even a strange circus act by the beautiful Ladies here…
DON’T Dress like a “Typical” American when you come out to Russia.
Because as you may know from my other posts.. The Average Russian Woman puts a tremendous amount of time, effort and discipline into the way she looks. So therefore, it would be VERY wise for you as a Man to make good efforts towards this as well.
So if you want to have a Traditional and REAL Woman in your Life..
Then you will need to command her respect by being seen as a Traditional and REAL Man too.
Get it?
So to start with..
You can never go wrong with a decent dark or grey suit as a base to start from. So if you’re the kind of Guy who haven’t worn one in ages then now is the time to change that and to get re-fitted with one..
Don’t come over here wearing Jeans.. Wear dark classic iron-less slacks… no Dockers..
Don’t wear anything related to Athletic Shoes, Hiking Boots or Birkenstocks.. Wear a nice pair of dress shoes. and make sure they are ALWAYS polished and clean. Keep in mind that Russian Women have an interesting tradition of evaluating you as a Man by how your shoes look.. (and I think Forest Gump actually said the same too)
The only exception of course is if you are coming over in the winter and plan on spending lots of time outside.. Then you will need some appropriate winter boots but again make sure they are either black or darkly colored. (Most of the time you can still get away with dress shoes as long as you wear 2 to 3 pairs of wool or cotton socks for insulation.)
Obviously T-shirt are the Big No No.. Polo style shirts are not so hot either.
Buttoned single colored long sleeve dress shirts are the way to go.. and make sure you choose the right style for the season. You might not always have access to an iron so make sure you get something that doesn’t require much ironing if any.
If it’s winter time and you’ll need to wear some head cover to keep your skull from turning into a block of ice.. have someone take you to a local “Sharpka” store when you get here and pick a nice black leather hat that has ear flaps and an inner lining made of fur. A traditional Russian “sharpka” would also be interesting as well. In case you don’t know what this is you will know it as the “funny” looking fur hats that you’ve seen Russian Men wearing.
You can wear a traditional sports coat or a black leather jacket. (non-motorcyle style) if the weather is permitting. In the summer you can ditch this all together while in the winter you can wear a normal suit jacket or sport coat along with your heavy duty Arctic Jacket on top of it all.
Now if you are not sure on what to wear the easiest thing to do is to come over here and to have any Russia Lady guide you by taking you clothes shopping.. She will be a valuable source of information and this will be a great experience for you. Men’s clothes are relatively inexpensive over here and the quality is good too. So make sure you take advantage of this so you can go home looking like a million bucks along with that new million dollar smile on your face.
No one is asking you to be some obnoxious Metro-sexual..
But a little dose of Cary Grant or Sean Connery style-wise will do wonders for you in the respect and attention department.
Because the more “In-Command” you look the more “Command” you will gain..
Ok let’s talk about your weight..
If you are overweight and need to cut some pounds then do it.. Most young to middle aged Russian people are pretty trim and it’s usually because of the exercise they get from walking everywhere and the smaller proportions of food that they normally eat. Get in shape and keep your body fit when you arrive here.
You don’t want to spend all your money and time for this trip only to sabotage it all with a poor self-image.
You can truly find a dream girl in Russia but you don’t want any of them to reject you out of hand because your appearance is too out of step with what they normally view as acceptable and healthy.
Harness your desire for these Incredible Ladies as a catalyst for a major forward change in your life if you need it…
This is ESPECIALLY TRUE if you are an Older Man looking for a Younger Woman. Don’t come here looking like you are going to kick the bucket in a few years.. The first question any younger woman has in her mind when she meets an older suitor is..
“How long is he going to be around for me?”
If you take your health, appearance and your future plans for a long and prosperous life seriously.. then so will she.. and you will have a much greater chance towards creating a successful relationship because of this.
So as with all things Gentlemen..
The BEST things in LIFE require hard work, sacrifice and discipline.
NO ONE is going to magically give you a Russian Beauty because you just simply want one.
You will need to come as close as you can to her level of intent and seriousness when it comes to your character and direction..
And one of the best ways to show this is to look your ABSOLUTE BEST when you are either initially exchanging photos..
Or when you are looking into her eyes for the very first time..
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Thank you, thank you RW Man. Now this is some valuable and timeless information. I’m in the process of trimming down myself and a new wardrobe has been in the offing for quite some time.
Any comparison’s to get a better idea would also be regarding as high quality info. To UN-learn the styles I’ve become accustomed to is what I really think I need.
Canajun
Hello guys…
Well I do not dress fancy, but I do wear jeans that are ironed a t-shirt and a button up shirt. It seems to me that with any woman you need to be yourself because thats what you want from her. Yes I can dress fancy, but why put on a show. Perhaps when its warm in Russia, I simply want to wear shorts and tennis shoes, than I should be able to do so. I do believe in dressing up, If I’ am going on a date or out to dinner, but if I’ am going to the park or out for a walk I just want to be me… If you end up marring this girl, which I hope all of us will, than she will know if you are putting on a act. What I’ am trying to say is it should be okay to wear jeans or dress pants when ever you feel like it. You never know you might meet a nice girl while you went for a walk simply wearing jeans and tennis shoes…..
Very good article Thanks….G.L.
When in Rome it is said.
Canajun
Sorry David,
But that the wrong attitude to have.
Take a look at it from their perspective for a second. A foreign man comes to their country and this man has MAJOR CULTURAL Differences with them. The WORST thing he can possibly do is to Broadcast those differences to every woman that he wants to date because there is already a level of insecurity on both sides because you are literally 2 strangers from different worlds meeting each other.
Your proper appearance is a Powerful way to initially bridge the GAP that already exists between you as an American and them as Russian Women.
You don’t want to be in a situation where a Russian Woman is embarrassed to be seen with you in public because all of the other people here are glaring at you as the Obvious Foreigner and at her for being with you..
Not a good way to go..
These women are generally hyper-sensitive to peer opinions. This can work for you or completely against you depending on how you present yourself physically and character wise.
BTW.. don’t ever wear shorts and tennis shoes here no matter what the weather’s like.. Leave them at home..
One more thing I forgot to mention.. your appearance is absolutely important for when you first meet and date these girls.. No one is asking you to look a certain way for the rest of your life but be sensitive to the fact that you need to look your best when you are over here.
Sounds like David perhaps has the feminist attitude so pervasive and forced on us all for so long. Respect for the culture and tastes of others is a unique opportunity for those of open minds. Alittle awakening perhaps is in store, if there is even an interet there. Maybe there is not.
Canajun
Great post; great advice. Clothes don’t make the man but they do reveal him.
Its good manners. By at least attempting to dress up, you are saying that you respect the woman enough to put out the effort. not doing so just shows that you don’t care about anything but your own comfort. if that’s the case, why not wear sweatpants and a ball cap everywhere?
Along with a greasy ball cap worn backwards, ROFL.
Taras
GL,
What’s wrong with Dockers? They looked great when I combined them with a dress shirt and sweater. Is Dockers viewed as a cheap dress item over there?
RW_Man has, again, made a spot-on observation. My limited experience is twice to Moscow. Last time was summer (worse than NYC!), most of us wore American ‘business casual’, which was nice slacks (linen for me) and button-down shirts without ties. The first day of meetings our Russian counterparts mostly wore ties, the second and remaining days they left the ties home. Nobody wore shorts (almost mandatory here in the Seattle area). Nice slacks and button down shirts were fine for business hours, and nice sport shirts were fine for dinner. The women we met/worked with were always dressed wonderfully, even at the end of a long day they looked great! Shorts, t-shirts, and jeans are out, but decent slacks and shirts are mandatory. I don’t know if we were gave some slack for being ‘foreigners’, but nobody snubbed us for wearing ‘business casual’ dress.
I think it’s important for a man to dress up. I’ve turned down a few guys due to their lack of personal hygeine; I may not look all that great, but I work with what I have. These guys didn’t even care if I was in their presence, they only wanted themselves to be comfortable (eating with hands, shorts, jeans, all while I had dressed up with makedup and nice outfits). If you look like you’re worth it then the girls will fall into your arms.
Timeless advise esteemed GL!
Another glance from behind the mirror.
http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/2006/12/04/dress-code-to-produce-most-favorable-impression-on-russian-women/
Best regards,
Comrade Natalia
I am a young man who always like to dress up to show my respect for myself and other people. I believe this is so important for my own self-confidence and self-respect. It makes me feel much more productive and work harder. My parents taught me a lot about proper attire and ettiquette.
I have been so amazed by how young men here in the USA wear. I blame their parents and current misandric society for degrading style of clothing. For example, when I went out to a upscale Italian restaurant with my mom, I dressed up in dark navy blue dress pants and dark navy blue suit and white button down shirt while my mom wore dresses. When I was at that restaurant, my mom and I were amazed what we saw how some couples wear. One guy wore t-shirt and lowly pants while his girlfriend wore dress.
It goes the same to young girls when they wear at work and social events.
Here in the US, it becomes harder and harder to find real traditional classic conservative clothes. Too many men’s clothes are too trendy and looking so gay or homo-ish. I hate those button down shirts with stripes. I also dislike those glossy button-down shirts with different neon-like colors. I have seen many young American men wear them especially in NYC. They look so disgusting to me. All I need is classic conservative color shirts such as white, light blue and yellow. I only wear button down shirt with one solid color. I have either dark and gray suits, that’s it. In the nowaday, I only can find them at Brook Brother’s or Jos.A. Banks. Those stores are quite expensive.
Even when I attended college, I like to wear button down shirt and slacks at classes. It showed my seriousness and respect for professors. Colleges here in the US are full of rude and immature kids wearing so low clothes.
I really can’t live in a degrading society where classical conservative and class are disregarded and latest, trendy and gay-looking fashions are worshiped. I can’t hang out with people who has no respect for classical traditions. One of reasons why I’m thinking about leaving the USA for good. There’s no point of living in the country where it’s continuing it’s death spiral and it’s way too late to change the course. It’s like being in a submarine where it’s already past the collapsible depth and its hull started to break apart. It’s impossible to get back to the surface when this situation happens.
Good news: lots of conservative men’s wear at our hemisphere, in all price categories.
Vice versa, ladies’ pain: almost no simple, single color, undecorated and laconic things, especially small-size! But heaps of torn-edge and overlocked items of different stuff, or nasty pastes at any piece of wear or ware. If you find a Classic Match, you’ll melt her with an elegant suit or [day] dress.
Good luck,
Comrade Natalia
Indeed, Natalia. You and those ladies are not the only one. My American mom said the same thing. She has complained to me for years that it is getting harder and harder to find classical conservative wear for women as well. She prefers simple, single color and petite dress.
Why Thank You Comrade Natalia..
Hi Kara.. You hit that one right on the head.. An equal show of respect is the way to go at all levels of dating.. especially in the beginning..
Welcome Sensei )
I work in the electrical business so I wear jeans, button down shirts and army jackets while on the job. When it’s dirty, greasy and cold out there, you’re not going to be in your Sunday best. However, I agree with the others that making the effort to dress nicely and properly when the situation demands it is important. Therefore on the rare occassions I go out or otherwise spend time with polite company, I leave the jeans and cammoflauge jackets at home. I detest how young men go everywhere with pants 6 sizes too big and almost hanging off their asses with no belts. Even more stomach turning for me are men who do dress like they’ve been marching in gay pride parades. AS for how many younger women dress, I’ve seen prostitutes better dressed than they are on the streets of New Orleans. It is getting harder to find conservative clothing that makes men look good, but at least there are still men’s clothing outlets in my area that do carry such clothing at resonable prices.
Taras
I would definitely over-emphasise the importance of dressing carefully, and well, when meeting these women for the first time.
It _will_ make a significant difference.
If you are not sure what to wear, ask somebody to help you out. If you dress as you would at home (perhaps because you wan’t to give an honest impression of your ‘typical’ self), it will be noticed and it will NOT go down well. I promise.
This applies particularly when in public (which is more than likely if you are meeting for the first time). Those girls do NOT want to be seen or associated with a scruffy guy, by anyone, anytime!
As an example: my wife expects that I make an effort to dress at a level which compliments her, when she is ready to go out, which means ‘more’ for social occasions, ‘less’ for more practical outings. But the care is always there. Most of all, not making the effort is the sin!
I wanted to append a few details to my last post, as its such an important thing to get right.
The point mentioned in the opening text relating to shoes – I can confirm this is absolutely accurate. Don’t wear training shoes/sneakers or whatever. Invest in a nice pair of Italian-style dress shoes (or something to that effect). And make sure they go with whatever else you choose to wear.
Something you may not know, but every year (at New Year) Russian TV broadcasts a bunch of ‘oldie’ movies, almost without fail. Some of these are favourites of Russian women. Within these films are gems of information on what Russian women expect of a man, and how they make such judgements. One particular film (I don’t remember the name right now – ‘Moscow sheds no tears’, or something similar) contains a scene involving a woman who meets her guy with dirty shoes on a train/bus, and he apologises for it. I know it sounds ridiculous as something to turn into advice, but I can assure you that 99.9%+ of Russian women have seen this film, know it inside out, and they _will_ know about the shoes scene
Basically its a signal, and you can ignore it at your peril.
The other thing I wanted to mention is the fact that Russian women base their judgements on Russian men, and that I don’t remember seeing any Russian men with beards. Perhaps I missed them, but I just don’t remember any, during any visit to that country. I also know my wife likes the clean shaven look. In fact all the guys I know with Russian girlfriends or wives are clean shaven without exception.
I may be jumping to conclusions, but this could be another social signal. Unless you are determined to sport the beard you may have had for years, and unless you know she likes that, I’d recommend you think again.
Beyond that, get your hair seen to, and dress simply but with style. Ignore the fact you may look different from most of your countrymen, because its just not important in the context of your meeting.
Approve ))
Re beards, well, unless a woman is a “beard / moustache fetishist”, and I even know 1 (sorry for the term, couldn’t ever find a more precise one, and say it with absolute friendliness… yours-truly am a “spectacles fetishist”, Just Gasp At Men Wearing Fine-Matched Glasses)…
it’s a bummer.
At best, it turns a man into a Work of Art. One can pray on you, but never deem applicable physically (a joke: “if you want to know what it is like kissing moustache, soak a toothbrush and try” – SORRY, “can’t throw a line out of the song”).
At worst, it suggests thoughts about some complexes associated with, or even exposed through, features of face (we Russian women are pretty kinda physiognomists)). NOTE: if beard / moustache REALLY saves your looks, choose, or have some good expert choose you the most flattering style.
Sinc., N.
well, “never” is here a hyperbola, still…
Let me get this straight Natalia….am I to understand Russian ladies prefer men to be clean shaven?
Taras
Yes Taras she is right..
The only guys who have beards here are the orthodox priests and the crazy looking older university professors or mad scientists.
And I’ve never seen them walking around with women.
Rasputin the Mad Monk for Tsar Nicholas was the exception but he had to hypnotize his women first with his crazy eyes..
Vistors emphasis on nice dress shoes is valuable.. shoes shoes shoes.. don’t forget it or ignore it..
I see……well, I don’t go about with a scraggly beard like Rasputin anyway, LOL. I imagine women in Russia would walk or run the other way if someone like that was strolling down the street. I certainly don’t like looking like Col. Sanders evil scientist twin, so I stay clean shaven. I’ll keep that and the importance of shoes in mind. I am one of the few people under 40 in my city who even owns dress shoes, let alone knows how to shine them. I am well aware of Rasputin’s role in Russian history. HE was a disastrous influence upon the Russian royal family who couldn’t have come along at a worse time.
Taras
Oh, forget Rasputin style.)) Modern fashions are short. There are some more “no-groom-material” types of beards, like:
http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/#comment-129#comment-129
Whoops, sorry, that was my main page. )) Here’s the latest comment.
http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/2006/12/04/dress-code-to-produce-most-favorable-impression-on-russian-women/#comment-130#comment-130
Would you also recommend that guys get manicures before going to Russia?
Well then, I would have no problem with a beard in your country Natalia, since I go about clean shaven anyway.
Taras
Dear Hero, rough extremities with long or uneven nails, and dirt around them, are a turn-off equal to the proverbial shabby shoes. If this is not your case, you can do without manicure, LOL!
Taras – Looking Your Best Self is That Very Image.)
I use nail clippers since it’s the easiest way to keep my nails short. Right now I don’t use a nail file or get manicures because it’s not worth the trouble. But for a Russian or Ukranian lady, I’ll do it.
That’s guts! ) Our people appreciate “sign-of-respect” parade grooming efforts (however shyly sometimes, where common styles prevail), to give later natural allowances for work and adventure.
I asked this question over on Comrade Natalia’s forum, and was wondering about some input from here as well. Is western/cowboy dress clothing accepted over in Russia?? Yes, I’m talking about both the loud rodeo dance festive shirts, and the more traditional dress colors. For example, I have a black shirt with a preachers collar (can’t wear a tie with it), black leather vest, black dress pants (not jeans, but a similar cut), and black lace up cowboy boots with a white rawhide spur heel. Would such dress be acceptable for a first date. I”m not mentioning the hat, as I know for sure it would set me apart as a foreigner (even though it is a very warm hat in winter and cool in the summer). I normally wear this outfit to weddings, funerals, and high class parties. For a non-western cut shirt to fit me, I have to have it custom made or it looks ridiculous on me. Tight in the chest, and very loose in the back. Any advise is appreciated.
Wolverine,
I used to live in Houston so cowboy style dress is perfectly fine. As a matter of fact you will get a heck of alot of attention with the boots, stetson and dress shirt.. go for it and enjoy the admiration you get.
Well, didn’t know that you used to live in Houston. I might live in Alberta (aka Texas North), but I used to drive truck down there every week and a half. Western clothing is a lot cheaper down there than it is here. I know, thread derailment. I’ll try to be good.:D
Great site r_wman. I have a question concerning Russian women and materialism. It seems to me that Russian women are the most beautiful, gracious, feminine, tender, you name it, women on earth and would one day love to get to know one. But please explain to me this: How can a woman be all these fantastic qualities, yet at the same time weigh a great deal of importance on looks? On this particular site, http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/2006/12/04/dress-code-to-produce-most-favorable-impression-on-russian-women/#comment-130#comment-130, when referring to accessories, it states that, “These are categorized as ‘Status Symbols’, required to declare one is all-right-to-do. ” I am someone who takes pride in how I dress, and I believe I dress in a fashion that a Russian woman would prefer. However putting a great deal of empahsis on accessories for example seems contradictory to the aforementioned qualities of a Russian woman. Accessories, to me, like a Coach bag, are just things for other people to judge you by. Not saying that you shouldn’t have a handbag, but you shouldn’t have to have a designer one per se. PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS!!. I realize also that looks SHOULD play a part at first sight when getting to know somebody, but I would never like to make a quick judgement about them based on something like a bag, or a belt, or a watch. With that being said, it would fulfull a dream of mine to get to know a beautiful Russian woman, but this has plagued my mind. Thank you very much.
Gurdow,
Thanks for the compliment and welcome aboard.
What you are talking about has little to do with a presumed materialistic attitude for the majority of Russian Women as you seem to be worried about Gurdow.
It has much more to do with most women in the world naturally wanting to carry around cool accessories that are recognized as being pretty by other women.. It’s no different from you having a cool mobile phone or PDA on you.
You can relax because this is more of a woman thing and not particularly a Russian women thing solely.
Oh and by the way Many of these designer name accessories are inexpensive knock offs.. there is no stigma here in Russia towards buying them. They may be inexpensive and made in China but if it looks good it still gets used.
GL
Dear Gurdow,
I would like to emphasize the social context of “status symbols” which make them similar to lion’s mane or rooster’s comb & spurs.
In such a stratified transition economy like ours, everything acquires the added value of “friend-or-foe” signalling. Vanity is largely maintained by men themselves (sometimes to extents that make women pull faces). ‘Cause local men (those who are considered on the groom fair) need to prove their professional / business viability, since olden times of Russian merchants’ broad traditions, and ’cause they massively graze on modern “men’s reading” which ascribes the spiritual traits of “virility standards” to the material culture (let’s keep in mind the magazines’ financing through advertisement). And women need assurance of affluence as a guarantee against the alternative of poverty.
Take into account decades of drastic deprivation of material beauty.
Drafting a post to explain on this…
But certainly, I agree with GL that tech stuff like communicators and watches are more of the male domain then haberdashery (and both can enhance or “drop down” clothes).
It is also true that the apparent value (elegance and quality) of things means more than the price actually paid for them. If it LOOKS like hundreds and doesn’t bear a loud no-name, it’s fine.
Sinc., N.
…to prove their professional / business viability to OTHER MALES…
Gurdow, in my opinion the desire to look good in the eyes of others and to be status conscious is basic to human nature and you see it everywhere in the world, in many forms.
The idea that people should be totally free of this is socialist egalitarian dogma (i.e. crap). Those who pretend to be above all that are just guilty of a kind of “spiritual materialism”. “Look at me – I’m better than all of you!”
Thank you very much for your responses, they have helped ease my soul. Craig, maybe I wasn’t specific enough, because I totally agree with you on your egalitarian dogma comment. Such a socialist belief is rubbish and is, above all, incompatible to human nature. That being said, I should clarify that I don’t judge the CHARACTER of someone based on a brand name vs. non-brand name accessory. That is all. Thank you.
Well… like everything, accessories and the way they are sported just highlight the character.
In 1980′s, you could distinguish a fag gangster by a raspberry Versace jacket (changed for green to escape from jokes) and a black Jeep Cherokee.
Now you can read a vice-mayor (formerly a high-ranking manager in a bank), interviewed by a city community newspaper (!) say that her main grievance in life is Prada clothes hung on Versace wings…
Or meet a guy who buys a Mercedes before he owns any home for his family… Or a Joan all branded across by pirated logos on her attire, be it a “T” only good for homewear / garden work / selling grocery, or a “buy-me-wholesale” eclectic ensemble…
Chasing the latest cry of fashion leaves less of a person for all other things; lagging in yesterday’s hits is also pathetic… it’s not for nothing that noble dress conservative, match colors and pick the designs that emphasize their inner selves – no matter what the fashion cries. )
[...] a new attitude. I didn’t really understand the extent of her comment until I was reading this blog on dating Russian Women (more about this site later or possibly in another blog). In it, the author describes how [...]
I felt like commenting on this thread from my experience. 3-4 years ago I remember being told to dress-down because I was making the executives look bad. Last year I was told to drop below casual business dress to support the Hawaiian theme we were running at the time within one our companies even though I felt it was inappropriate for executives. 6-8 months ago I was criticized by an AW for wearing a suit, tie, and dress shoes to an interview because I was told beforehand normal apparel would be casual business at the client company.
I am 36 and stopped dating AW at 19 because I was so damn sick of the attitude and victim mentality. For the last 3 years I have had an ever growing desire to find a worthy woman to have children with. Unfortunately, AW near my age have spent so much time dating “bad boys”, and carry so much baggage with the entitlement attitude I can not bring myself to date them.
The days of meritocracy are gone in the Western world for the most part. The time when good men who are stable, honest, caring, and protective and desirable are gone here. I blame both feminism and capitalism for this.
I so desire to form a bond with a deserving lady and have children. Sad to say but I do not view that I can do this with a Western woman of any age now. I have a little knowledge of Russian language and culture. It seems to me that I have little hope unless I am to become wealthy or go to extreme lengths.
I am not afraid of challenges. I enjoy them mostly. I would do anything reasonable to please my lady and make her look good.
What I want to know: Is there hope for men that realized long ago that western women, for the most part, are not deserving of a good man? Will Russian women understand why a good man of my age has little experience with women?
Hey ECM, I understand completely. I’m not qualified to offer you advice on these matters but at least I can tell you that you’re not alone.
Hi ECM,
Welcome aboard.. I can certainly relate to what you are saying. Keep in mind that what you are looking for used to be the NORM for most of human history. And thankfully there are a few places in the world where those values still hold sway.
If you are looking for information and validation I believe you have come to the right place. There is quite a bit of information here so please read to your hearts content and make more comments as well.
Once again thanks and hope to hear from you soon.
Cheers,
GL
Good article. I think those are worthy points for any man to take, in becoming a more cultivated individual.
I live in a part of the U.S. where the population is made up of a wide cross section of different cultures. Bahamians, eastern Europeans, and everyone in between. Last year, I had the pleasure of working with a lovely young woman from St.Petersburg Russia, an exchange student actually. She displayed what I imagine are some of the hallmarks of what other men here love most about these women. She had a modest, yet sweet and playful nature, very feminine. And dressed with uncommon (for the U.S.) elegance and flair. You hardly ever see a Western woman dress like that unless it’s a special occasion.
All in all, I was very imppressed with what I saw. I’ve never been one to make things up in my head, but over the course of her stay, this lovely woman initiated a flirtation with me. I was told she even came to one of my jobs to see me.
She must have seen something in me that she liked. If so, I would have to attribute this at least partly to my own desire to conduct myself as a fair and upstanding gentleman, something I’ve always aspired to. I’m not a ‘stuff shirt’ at all, at 29 I’m not old, nor am I rich, but I pride myself on having manners and a sense of propriety – it’s the only way to live. This carries over into my personal appearance which in public anyway is never sloppy or unkempt. I live in a hot climate and ride a bike everywhere, but I still ‘dress up’ – meaning nice clothing. No backwards baseball caps or Nascar t-shirts, which is no big deal since that just isn’t me. It’s really about knowing your assets, making the most of them, and using them as the foundation for what you want to develop in yourself.
I’ve actually been mistaken for being eastern European myself many times, by people from those countries even. I get Chech alot and the Netherlands the other day. And through it all, the only model I’ve ever had for myself has been an image in my mind of the man I want to become. My highest self.
It pays off in the long run to care that much, and I advise every young man, especially American to do so. Grow to be a MAN, not a ‘dude’, and good women will appreciate that in you.
As for my young Russian lady friend, she emailed me out of the blue a week ago, and seemed very happy to hear back from me. She’ll be coming to the states again in June. I look forward to seeing her again.
Thanks.
Deal
Absolutely sterling advice and meticulously written – this really hit a chord with me.
Thanks, Deal.
I’m all over the place today. Whenever I need a Russia hit, your site is one of my fixes. And today I need a smorgasborg.
Considering how long I’ve been in the Canadian wilderness, I think I’ll need a few weeks of decompression in order to get my “uptown” senses back.
The other day I wore a tie and a woman asked me why. Gotta love the rurals. Or as I like to say now… the Urals.
I hate the way American men dress, and if there is a well dressed man in the states MOST LIKELY HE IS FOREIGN!!
If you want to look good while traveling abroad for men I would recommend anything by Kenneth Cole, DKNY, Hugo Boss, Armani… These designers make clothes that are more European in taste.
Hope that helps!
This is a very good post. I wish more people in the West would take the time to dress even in a polo shirt and slacks rather than an XXXL tshirt and torn up jeans.
You can tell a lot about a person’s self respect by the way they dress and unfortunately you would look out of the ordinary were you wearing a sports jacket and collar in a big Western suburb.
I wouldn’t go quite that far Selma, but I would certainly leave the blue jeans and T-shirts at home while traveling abroad. They have their uses Selma, but unless a man is doing dirty work on the job, he should at least wear clothes that fit properly, aren’t ripped or ragged and appropriate for the occasion. The clothing lines you mentioned are way out of reach for average people here, but with some effort even poor people can dress for any occasion. I can go get a full, 3-piece suit and tie for a very reasonable price in my city with a little effort.
Taras