I have to admit that getting engaged to an Incredible Woman really helps you to gain some perspective.
Your view of the world noticeably changes and you start to recognize more of..
What’s REAL in life..
..and Whats NOT.
Let me explain.
The other day I was having lunch at one of my favorite places and had the opportunity to flip through a luxury car magazine that was lying on the table.
I can certainly appreciate the latest and greatest when it comes to Engineering, Design and Style. This is especially so with any number of cars that retails at sixty thousand dollars or more.
Now you would think that this “appreciation to automotive detail” is the central message that all car manufacturers want to convey to you.
However upon closer inspection of these advertisements I began to think that being wowed by “German Engineering” or “Japanese Design” was NOT really what these marketing pitches were all about.
Because although my eyes are always drawn to the sleek and shiny looking machines that are meticulously displayed in these photos..
I always catch myself taking a closer look at the sleek and sexy women who always seem to be hovering in these ads as well..
Now it’s obvious that using sex to sell a product is as old as time itself and that the “hidden” message for the any potential buyer is quite clear…
Get this AWESOME Car if you want to get an AWESOME Girl..
(..and with your good credit you can take me/us home now!)
Now when this message reveals itself in all of it’s blunt and crass glory..
I openly wonder if this type of “bait” has really ever been successful for any man in the long term to begin with.
I mean think about it..
- What kind of “Quality” Girl would any man end up with if this were the case?
- What kind of “Man” would knowingly realize this game but STILL use this method as a means to find Women?
Ok so let’s give any Guy the benefit of a doubt and let’s pretend that he isn’t getting a hot car for the girls but really wants to have a great driving experience instead.
Now don’t get me wrong..
I’m the kind of Guy who likes a good driving experience just like anyone else and I’ve had plenty of great experiences behind the wheel of some real high performance beauties.
But at the end of the day no matter how much any of us “Love our Ride”..
A Car is not something you can SLEEP with..
Nor were we meant to sleep with any of the millions of other products that also have beautiful girls pitching them too..
Now again I like high quality products just like any other Guy.
But no matter how memorable any of these products are..
How can the experience of using any product ever compete with the experience of falling in Love with a Beautiful Woman.
And this leads me to my next point..
For most of us getting to the point where we can actually experience Real Love is…
H A R D
Yup.. Really HARD..
Because on one hand..
We instinctively know that discovering Real Love is a singular event in our existence which has no parallel..
But on the other hand..
We also know that the absence of Love in our lives can manifest itself in the most painful of ways from a life of loneliness to spiritual starvation, decay or even death.
So because the challenge of finding Love is sooo GREAT…
And the risk of NOT finding Love is also sooo GREAT..
Many people try to leverage this risk by adopting a materialistic lifestyle in order to complete the DENIAL and to avoid the harsh reality of how tough finding Love truly is..
This is because in the absence of Love it is so tempting for many people to try to fill in the emptiness they feel with the material things in life along with all the status or ego they believe it will provide for them.
So many Guys (and of course women too) act like vulnerable little sea crabs without a shell to hide in. I’m reminded of this because I can easily see how desperate they are to try to cover up their emotional nakedness with STUFF.
- They believe that more STUFF leads to better “Self-Esteem”.
- They believe that people are actually impressed by the STUFF they show off.
- And they hope that if they show off enough STUFF somebody will actually come along and “Love” them for it.
Now we’ve all gone through this phase to various degrees but what we need to understand is that instead of moving people closer towards the ultimate goal of finding love..
This belief actually pushes them much farther away.
I imagine that it’s a little like spending all your money on different health insurance policies and then not having enough left over to feed, clothes or even shelter yourself with.
Adopting a materialistic lifestyle doesn’t bring a Man closer to having a Real Loving Woman by his side.
It only makes it that much HARDER to do.
- Harder because any QUALITY Women in Russia can sense a Man like this a mile away and will run like hell from him. (They will do this because they don’t want to end up as just another commodity trophy on his bookshelf quickly gathering dust.)
- Harder because the only girls a Man like this will attract are the whores who are only looking for a “free meal ticket” or a “good time”. These women will only push him to acquire MORE STUFF for them.. And as soon as he stops (they both know that) he will be tossed out like yesterday’s trash.
- Harder because the more a Man engages in a Material Lifestyle the more he commits his IDENTITY to it. And it becomes that much harder for him to find the courage or fortitude to ever change it no matter how much it fails him..
So can you say Vicious Cycle?
Or to put it more bluntly..
If I were to address such a Gentleman with such an attitude I would simply tell him..
“Good Luck Buddy.. You’re going to need LOTS of it..”
So if we understand that finding Love is VERY HARD what’s the Solution to all of this?
Well I believe the Secret Formula behind any solution is..
Your Belief + the Actions you combine with it.
Before we get into that let’s start with any Negative Beliefs that need to be DROPPED first.
- Drop any belief that finding Love depends on random chance or good luck.
- Drop any belief that finding Love can be achieved like a leisurely pastime. (This is because the Man upstairs doesn’t deliver take out Soul Mates while any of us are sitting on our ass watching TV commercials and thinking about the next cool STUFF we can buy for ourselves.)
- But most of all.. Drop any belief that you CAN’T Have REAL Love.
Now Let’s talk about the Positive Beliefs to PICKUP.
- Successfully finding Love depends on how emotionally and spiritually prepared you are to have it.. (ie Honesty & Humility)
- Successfully finding Love depends on positioning yourself properly with your Attitude and your Location.
- But most of all.. Successfully finding Love depends on HARD Work.
And Hard Work is simply the “Action” side to this Secret Formula.
No one should ever doubt how much work is involved in trying to find Love half way around the world as opposed to your own neighborhood.
(But then again no one should ever doubt that this is the best way to go either..)
When I look back at all the things I needed to do before I was able to have such a True and Loving Woman in my life..
I realize that there was a helluva lot of learning, patience and effort involved.
And I also realized that this process is really no different then deciding to go out and build your own home from scratch.
This is because the ATTITUDE you start with from the very beginning determines if you are building your foundation on something solid like Granite..
..or on Quicksand.
And unfortunately I have seen many guys who seem to think that building on Quicksand is actually a “good” shortcut to use..
It’s “good” alright..
But I’m sure it’s not “good” in the way these guys were expecting.
(stay tuned for part 2)
Please enter your email for special updates, news & upcoming offers 
Hey GL;
More certain words of wisdom. But truly, you still must depend on seeing the honesty and trust in the eyes of the woman you seek to share your life and love with.
Until that time it is still only hope, and perhaps fear. It seems the most difficult thing of me is the patience and the hope that I have I know is sincere and honest, but sometimes the differences in understanding are demanding of so much more hope and patience.
I know I cannot be certain looking in the eyes of a woman here, but is the hope of a woman in a foreign country so much better?
I wonder sometimes. I was looking at things to do in St. Petersburg and the differences in foreigners versus Russian people. It seems so many scams in pricing are so common. Does it not make the people think those that visit are so made of money?
Does it not spread to their general attitudes that they must grab a piece of the same pie? I am hoping not, and perhaps as my visiting time approaches I may be getting too anxious, but some reassurances are certainly helpful.
Thank you as usual GL.
Canajun
It’s an unfortuante phenomonon that people think they can buy love and happiness. The truth is, the more stuff you have, and the more you try to buy love, the more both will evade you.
I will admit as a footnote, some stuff you buy definately makes life easier.
But, does a person need to see 40 hours of tv a week?? Does a person need 900 channels of complete garbage??
I may watch 3-4 shows a week. Tv isn’t something I spend lot of time on.
Excellent post, GL.
My sentiments exactly on materialism. Reminiscent of “Fight Club” but without the anarchy and violence. On one hand, new things, improved things, and quality things are a reflection of the triumph of ingenuity and the spirit of competition. On the other hand, materialism serves little to quell the void inside of those who’s proclivities are dependent upon it. Materials only serve to be a temporary happiness and a fleeting emotion.
I was once motivated to achieve success to acquire a high-priced lifestyle…and all for myself. Never wanted to become married, but rather stay “rich and lonely.” And I was well on my way to it. As far as a career path, I am still on my way to success, although my approach, understanding, and goals have changed.
I realized that in this life, we are blessed with the opportunity of something much more meaningful and fulfilling than the items that rust can destroy and moths can deteriorate…a life of unconditional love with your special “one”….your spouse. And how important it is when you entwine your life with theirs, becoming one.
In fact they, along with one knowing and trusting the man upstairs, begins to reveal what this life is all about, giving us a clearer meaning and a fulfilling purpose. Like the old saying goes, “..a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” But a one or two cord by comparison is.
Again, really like the post, keep it up!
GJ
Great Post Dude.
you are a very wise person. I have nothing more I can add to this post
Cheers! From Australia
Ok I’m just testing this. I think I figured out how to get WordPress to change my name to Luke Skywalker instead of using my formal username siberianow while logged in, and I think I got it to use my childofsiberia@yahoo.com email address while logged in as well.
I used to have to log out in order to get these things to happen.
Anyway, this is just a test.
–Luke Skywalker aka siberianow
Hey GL, I have a plan to get you back on digg.com, because digg.com has been helpful for me as well, and I’m sure that it will be very helpful for you as well.
What I am doing right now is I am submitting all my main posts to digg, and am putting digg it buttons on all my main posts. (WordPress just now started supporting digg it buttons).
When I am done putting all the buttons, I will send all you guys over
I could submit your stuff to digg, too, and see what happens. I doubt that the feminist lady will take them all off again when she has two* different people who are submitting your posts (because if she keeps blocking and blocking, that would eventually expose her among the larger Digg community for the censoring that she is doing, and I’m pretty certain she’s not willing to have that happen).
*If we deem it necessary to get past her censoring, we could have even more than two people to submit your posts.
—-
Ok, I just submitted your “The Dirty Little Secret Behind Feminism” post (one of my favorites), and it went through just fine. For now, you are back on Digg.
And I think you’re going to stay on Digg, too, because I see there have been a lot of other people writing and submitting a lot of antifeminist stuff, and nothing seems to have happened to them. Who knows, maybe the feminist lady who kicked you off Digg changed her ways or got fired. Even if she didn’t, she’d be pretty stupid to try to have a computer war with me.
Anyway Buddy, you’re back on! Have fun!
–Luke
Hi Canajun,
Thanks for your comments. I’m going to be getting more into some of your questions and issues in part 2.
Stay tuned. GL
Hi wolverine..
That’s basically one of the key points.. redirect energy that is used on the aquisition of stuff or status and channel that to this side of the world to find love. Straight and simple in concept yes.. but as with all worthy things in life it may be challenging to achieve but it is certainly worth it..
GL
Georgianjoe..
Your story holds true with many guys I’m sure. It just comes down to a realization of what’s going to last you and what’s not. I’ve noticed in my own life that no matter what cool gadget I’ve acquired in the past.. the novelty of it falls off quickly.
But then again getting into material things is easy to do when there aren’t quality women around that are qualified to be wives.
Thanks again for you comment.. Keep on posting.. GL
Thanks for your encouragment MaxSydney. I’m glad I can reach you guys in Australia as well.
GL
Luke,
Thanks for “digging” up information in trying to get us listed again on digg. That would certainly be helpful and I’m sure that the info in this blog would be of great interest to the main demographics of men who go to Digg.com..
Keep us updated and thanks again..
GL
Brilliant post GL.
Like you said – we’ve all done it (to various degrees).
It’s like financial success. Many people spend so much time and money trying to APPEAR wealthy, they are damaging (or destroying) their prospects of actually becoming wealthy.
It’s too easy to act on impulses rather than to carefully lay those foundation stones to real and lasting success.
This is especially true when you’re young and haven’t yet seen the “big picture” (the “meaning of life” if you like). Too busy trying to impress all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons.
The path that takes you away from all that crap is so much more satisfying…
GL, it’s been pretty much a whole day since I first put your “The Dirty Little Secret Behind Feminism” on Digg. Some Digg moderator or another must have seen it by now and so far, nothing bad has happened to it.
If they did something to it at this point, believe me, people would know about it, as it has 7 diggs and 1 comment after 1 day, and I myself along with a cadre of friends and family are standing by ready to expose any would-be-censorers to the Digg community should they perform any acts of censorship upon that submission.
The only question now is what about the rest of your posts? Would you like to submit them to Digg yourself, or should I? I know you are very busy right now, and I am not so busy as I am on spring break, so maybe it would save time if I submitted them. On the other hand, you know exactly which ones to submit, what descriptions to write, etc.
Anyway, it’s totally your call.
I’ll give you more updates on the situation as they come.
–Luke
Hi Shaun,
Thanks for the support.. You’ve got some pretty insightful things to say too Shaun..
Especially this part..
“Too busy trying to impress all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons.”
Kudos to you too big guy..
GL
Luke thanks again for your help.
Just Digg whatever posts you have liked the most
It would be interesting if you could find out who some of their key players are within the Digging community and get them to become aware of us. I’m probably guess that 20 percent of the Digg community is responsible for 80 percent of their submittals. thanks again Luke and please keep it going.. GL
One other point that is worth mentioning…
WordPress just recently begun supporting Digg buttons. Digg buttons are a fast easy way for site visitors to “Digg” posts that they read on the site. In fact, I’ve begun using them on my own site to some success.
I think that Digg buttons will also help you to gain more support, so I suggest that you use them as well.
Here is a link to a WordPress article that tells about Digg buttons on WordPress, and even has a screen-by-screen tutorial of how to install them on your posts.
http://wordpress.com/blog/2007/02/22/digg-this/
PS: GL, can you put a link to my blog on your links page?
–Luke
“It is only up to a certain point that possessions make men more independent and free; one step further – and the possessions become master, the possessor becomes a slave: as which he must sacrifice to them his time and his thoughts and henceforth feel himself obligated to a society, nailed to a place and incorporated into a state, none of which perhaps meets his inner and essential needs.”
-Nietzsche
“Home is where you keep your stuff while you’re out getting more stuff.”
- George Carlin
Oh GL
I forgot to mention that I’ve been putting both your and my posts in the offbeat news section, since this is the section that you were putting them in before you got kicked off Digg.
–Luke
Ok now I am testing this new avatar that I just uploaded. It is an excellent picture of a Siberian tiger.
Congratulations!
Will and I are both very happy for you two.
Ok guys I have some more bad news.
And this is in addition to the bad news about my money getting stolen.
My plan to get my family more involved with this must have backfired on me. I was talking with my mom this morning, and she said some pretty horrible things about this (GL’s) blog.
She called it “a predator site”, “[A site] where they talk people down from reality”, and “almost like a porn site”.
With statements like those, clearly I can see that she’s not on our side.
And that’s what’s difficult with respect to my family. They say they support me in what I do, they say that they want to be acknowledged for supporting me, but when push comes to shove, they often aren’t even on the same side as me.
One of the few bright spots of “being on the same side” with regards to this that I experienced was when my dad and I were laughing about the radical feminists in Sweden who wanted to ban urinals and have a “man tax”, and laughing about the radical socialists who wanted to make a system where the richest person in the nation wouldn’t be able to have more than 12 times as much money as the poorest person. Other than that, the instances of my family and I being on the same side with regards to this blog and my blog and Siberia (which are very important issues) are few and far between.
(I might make this comment into a post on my blog along with other stuff if my family keeps insisting on saying bad things about GL’s blog).
–Luke
Luke,
I’m not surprised that your mom is threatened by the stuff on this blog.
Almost Pornographic she thinks?
Classic excuse.. throw mud and see what sticks. Sorry to hear about these issues but I can also understand how your mom might feel frightened by the idea of you travelling and becoming your own Man. All Moms at some point go through this stage. Good Luck and thanks for all the Digg info.
GL
Hello WK’s GF (or is “future wife” a better term
)
Thanks for your warm wishes. We are both totally stoked by all of this and of course wish to share our joy in the hopes that other may reach it as well.. Kinda like what you and Will are also doing
)
Take care and don’t be a stranger!
GL
Craig that quote from Nietzsche is Totally KILLER..
I Love it.. please feel free to drop more of this man’s wisdom on us when you feel like it.
GL
GL,
It looks like some of your posts from before were either missed by the feminist lady when she was removing you from Digg, or restored by the Digg people after they found out that the feminist lady censored them; I stumbled across them as I was playing around with Digg (and saw that they were submitted over 200 days ago.)
These posts are the following:
Questions and Answers 002
Anna Kournikova is an ORDINARY Russian girl
Anna Kournikova is an ORDINARY Russian girl – Part 2
Inagural Post
What is a Genuine Russian Woman?
Note: there may be other posts in addition to these that survived/got restored. I will let you know if I find any additional posts that survived/got restored.
–Luke
Ok I think from now on all articles that are specifically about Marxism, socialism, or feminism should go into the Political Opinion section of Digg since this is the category where these posts fit into most, and where most people who are interested in reading about this sort of thing will look for it, rather than Offbeat News.
The other stuff should go into Offbeat News, just not the specifically Marxism, communism, socialism, feminism stuff.
–Luke
Thanks again Luke for all of your help.
GL
All Hails!
Looks like a proper page to contribute my two non-material cents.
http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/2007/03/19/what-makes-a-russian-woman-happy-march-8-womens-day-celebrity-poll/