When guys from the US drop into town they usually try to seek me out for some local guidance which I’m always glad to share as long as they have the right attitude. So as a result I’ve had quite a few visitors from all over the States, the EU, and Australia and I’ve come to a simple conclusion about them.
There are clearly 3 different types of guys who come here…
For now let’s just call them:
- Mr. Fat Ego
- aka: Mr. Money, Mr. Scrooge, Bluto or “Hey, look at my homes, my cars, and my Platinum Visa… But don’t look at my fragile ego..”
- Mr. Prozac
- aka: Mr. Anti-Social, Mr. Loser, Mr. Closet Wanker, Chester the Molester
- Mr. Normal Joe
- aka: Mr. Up for an Adventure, Mr. Smarter then the Average Bear
Mr. Fat Ego
He rolls into town wanting to conduct a job interview for a secretary instead of finding a loving wife. He’s got his checklist of items in his head.. Does she make coffee? Does she do dishes? Does she do windows? Does she swallow?
He is sooo wrapped up in his EGO agenda and his world view that he is doomed to fail the moment he tries to force conformity of any decent Russian girl into HIS WAY of doing things. He quickly scares away the worthy girls and only attracts the whores because this is how he’s selling himself to them.
He is in a TOTAL NO WIN situation because even if he get’s engaged and brings some babe home she will undoubtedly be the wrong type of girl for him.. OR.. pay attention now.. She will turn into the WRONG type of girl in short order.
In other words she will quickly turn into another BORG’d American girl who cares only about material sh*t and not him. Why? Because in reality he’s never developed his personality or character.. only his financial statement. This is usually why he came to Russia in the first place because he did the same old thing at home.. so the girls in the US that came knocking were cheap acting whores that only made him increasingly bitter.
So guess what.. you think he learned from that experience? NOOOO.. He wants to come to Russia to repeat the whole experience ALL OVER AGAIN.. So as he’s doing this and as word QUICKLY get’s around he sets Russian-American relations back another 10 years and the locals get to prop him up as yet another propaganda poster-child for “greedy fucked up Americans”.
My advice for Mr. Fat Ego:
Dude.. do us all a favor and go gain some humility and more importantly some self respect.. go do some charity work for the less fortunate then you.. and don’t just exploit that as a good PR opportunity for your business. Go learn how to meditate.. learn how to like yourself without your toys and green.. When you do that.. then come out and play..
Mr. Prozac
He arrives with his meds safely in tow and he usually steps off the plane looking like a homeless dude with bad hair. He’s got the stereotypical crazy bugged out eyes which he uses to either fixate on all of the beautiful girls around him like some caged animal or just stare downward at his worn out shoes all day.. He will immediately gravitate towards the most insecure and emotionally damaged girl he can find.. hopefully one that is even more messed up then he is.. and try to relate to her on some tweaked dysfunctional level.
He’s looking for an instant Co-Dependency where he hopes that he can find a girl who will be just as addicted to him as he is to his pills and his own lack of self-image. He thinks he’s looking for a wife when in reality he’s just looking for another pain killer. He’s an energy vampire.. He just literally flushes the joy and good vibe of any person in the room down the toilet with his drama… which of course demands attention.. the wrong kind of attention as you can guess..
He trucks into town thinking that he’s finally going to even the score in his miserable life… and “Go Git me a WOMAN!” Mr. Prozac also has a very high rate of failure in terms of finding a girl.. any girl.. or as he would say.. “Please god just find me one!!” The word “Desperation” is tattooed onto him like a Charlie Manson swastika. If he somehow manages to bag a girl as desperate as he is then she’s in for a serious world of hurt until she wises up and divorces his ass. If she doesn’t then there is always a bad newspaper headline just waiting in the wings.
My advice for Mr. Prozac:
Dude as hard as this may sound you need to seriously detox even if you aren’t on any meds or moonshine. Emotional detox is the same deal.. Yes it’s painful and yes it will be a real bitch but you need to lock yourself up someplace safe and sweat lodge this puppy out..and truly it will probably take a long time.. Might I suggest a 12 stepper at some local chapter near your place.. Don’t even think about coming to Russia until you go live in some forest for a while and come out the other side whole again.
Mr. Normal Joe
Not to be confused with “Joe Six Pack” or “Joe Schmoe”..
Normal Joe doesn’t have to be a genius but he’s smart and strong enough to know that that 1 + 1 = 2.. no matter how much Orwell’s bad guy in 1984 (aka Feminist propaganda) tortures the hell out of him to make him think that it’s 3.
Normal Joe has slowly caught on to the fact of what the real deal is concerning his increasingly limited options for achieving happiness and a traditional family in his own homeland.
He either has some guts and a sense of adventure to find the truth on his own or he’s had the good fortune to spend some time out of the US to learn that there are many different types of women in the world.. And not all of them have “Narcissism” as their middle name. Normal Joe is cautious and bold at the same time..
He’s cautious in his research but once he’s had enough info to aim with he’s ready to pull the trigger and let the bullets fly. From the time he first heard about Russian girls till his arrival probably took him about a year or so of research and preparation..
When he arrives he’s not ignorant to the fact that he’s a Stranger in a Strange Land. He’s setting out on an adventure that would probably make Robert Heinland want to rewrite the book.. Normal Joe’s natural survival instincts kick in when he sees the unfamiliar Russian landscape and realizes that probably the smartest thing he can do is to speak modestly and to do what the “Romans” do now that he’s in “Rome” and not Kansas. His eyes, mind and soul are open again and within the first day of his arrival he knows that he’s found a BIG part of the answer he’s been looking for. He recognizes from the sights, smells and sounds that SHE is somewhere HERE… and that HE will FIND HER..
Normal Joe feels alive and there are dormant and ancient parts of his manly DNA that are becoming lit up again.. He hasn’t felt this way since he was a young boy possessing the surety that he could conquer the world with a magical toy sword clutched tightly in his hand. Standing on HIS HILL as the KING OF ALL HILLS! All he needs now is HIS Royal Queen and he has finally arrived in her strange and magical land to claim her.
Much of Normal Joe is already at peace because he will never look at the women back home the same way again.. He is a free man now.. free from their materialistic agendas and sexual power games. He can shed off the heavy old armour and weapons that he used to protect himself with.. And with this new found freedom he can gain new insights, abilities and opportunities that he never knew existed.
He’s far away from home.. but he feels like he IS Home..
My advice for Mr. Normal Joe:
Saddle up partner.. and welcome aboard..
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Not to brag, but I think I would put myself mostly in the “Normal Joe” category.
I went looking for a woman in Russia, and I made a fatal / vital / dumbass mistake -
I got fixated on one woman that started to write me.
It was a total disaster and she toyed with me up to 2 weeks before her embassy interview.
If I ever had it to do over again I would go there with my head up high (but not cocky) and observe: WHICH ONE IS *GENUINELY* INTO *ME*.
Since then I’ve met someone “nice” but I have tremendous regrets about how my Russian wife adventure turned out – and how it could have been had I done it right to begin with.
Timmy,
Thanks for the comment. Yes unfortunately it’s a fact of life here in Russia that there are many less then legit girls out there prowling around. Therefore it’s EXTREMEMLY important to have a range of girls to choose from.
One of the biggest MISTAKES that guys make is they start to let their imaginations and desires get away from them and believe that they are already in the start of a love affair even before they’ve ever met the girl! Hell it’s pretty easy to do if you are writing emails back and forth with one of the most beautiful girls you’ve ever seen!
Now to any of you guys reading this.. don’t be embarrased by it cause I’ve done it myself! I made the mistake of believing that I should be “honorable” (read.. naive) in letting the girl know that I ONLY wanted to communicate with her.. Basically I was telling her of my intentions to GO STEADY with her even before we met.. Boy was I a dummy..
Well of course you can guess what happens next.. I arrive into Russia and there is ZERO chemistry between us especially since she doesn’t see me as a challenge!.. Hell I just basically rolled over like a dog on his back panting with those goo goo eyes saying please pet me! And when that didn’t work THEN I pressured myself into believing that I needed to get married within the 2 week time I had there. THANK GOD I didn’t do anything stupid at that point. It was an expensive lesson but well worth it cause it led to my determination to come out here for the long term to learn the REAL DEAL for myself.
So here’s the deal.. If you decide to come out here MAKE SURE you always have a range of girls to see. I personally recommend 3 to 5 that you should be communicating with before hand. You don’t need to lie to them that they are the only one blah blah blah.. All you need to do is keep the conversations going but always include the statement, “I can’t wait to see you to find out if we will get along in person as well as we do online..”
In my experience it is CRITICAL that you always maintain a balance between dialogue with a girl and COMPETITION. She not only understands this to be NORMAL but she EXPECTS IT and without it will doubt herself and you as to if you are the right man for her. I’m going to get more into this in a future post but for now take my word on this.
Until then man.. Keep on Trucking (& posting too!)
Yes, I generally consider myself a very romantic guy.
And at one time very naive too.
That has changed a little – but a little late for my RW adventure.
I placed a personal ad and I was really not very impressed with the replies that I received – until a few days before the ad was to expire.
There she was – so I thought!
I was entranced by her beauty – and from what she wrote it seemed as though we were quite compatible – as far as interests and ways of thinking were concerned.
Physically I would not say that she was “too far out of my league” – though she was considerably younger than me – 14 years.
But I thought, “so what, I am a very young-looking 36 year old” – which was true.
I decided to be gentlemanly/romantic/naive and I decided that I would put all of my eggs in her basket.
We seemed to be doing fine, judging by our correspondence, and I was VERY honest with her about who I was and what I was about – so I figured “Why would things be any different after we meet?”
I thought it might be a wise idea to have a “backup plan”, but I tried to “do her right” by focusing on and believing in her alone.
That was a huge mistake.
She was quite nasty with me during my first visit.
But she made excuses, apologies and explanations and I bought into it.
I was VERY attracted to her.
But she was pretty rude, cold and lacking in understanding on quite a few occasions.
She made excuses and apologized. I thought that maybe she was immature, maybe it was a culture clash, maybe it was half my fault.
I said to myself, “F#$%, I invested a lot of time and money in this and it will be a LONG time before I have the vacation time and money if I were to scrap this and start over. I WANT this.
I came home and immediately paid a lawyer quite a bit of money to start the K1 process.
Biggest mistake of my life.
Well, one of them!
A few months went by and I was out visiting her again.
And she s#!# on me again. She was nasty and cold in between being semi-decent and luke-warm.
When I was back in the states we would make arrangements for a time for me to call her next and she would not be home. Or she would tell me to call back in 5 minutes and she would not answer the phone when I called.
Well, I considered this to be bulls#!# and disrespectful so I gave her a piece of my mind.
This happened quite often and each time she would make another excuse and each time I had the same negative reaction.
We had many fights, calling it off and on again.
Finally we had the worst fight and a few days later the government FINALLY gave us an embassy interview date – for about 3 weeks later. But it was OVER and she would not be there.
I met a nice girl after all of this, but the Russian girl may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back as far as my ego and self-esteem was concerned.
My wife is no Russian beauty, but she is a decent person. Every day I grapple with wondering if I really need or want what I went looking for – and if I gave up on my dream and belief in myself and what my potential is. You know, that nasty “S” word.
All I can tell you is if anyone out there is a decent guy that just hasn’t had any luck with dating in his lifetime, and are therefore getting ready to embark on this extreme adventure, DO NOT take A SINGLE OUNCE of crap from any woman. You deserve better.
Be decent. Be respectful. But DO NOT be exclusive to any one woman.
It is no secret that Russian women want to get over here JUST AS MUCH as they want to meet a decent man. Sometimes it clouds their thinking and causes them to “pretend” or “play up” their love for an American man.
My advice is to go there and see who looks at you – who finds YOU irresistable! Who is REALLY having a great time with YOU.
Forget ads.
Forget pictures.
Forget e-mails.
Forget phone conversations before you meet.
Go there and date, fifties-style.
Meet women.
Choose the one which feels like there is chemistry beetween the two of you.
I know it takes a lot of time.
I know that one visit may not be enough.
I know that you may have to meet A LOT of women on one visit – and come back on a second with a narrowed list.
But haste, lust and desire is your enemy here.
In some ways I was like the greedy guy in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade – choosing the Holy Grail too hastily based on what I wanted…and I got burned.
There is treasure there – slow down and find it.
Timmy what a great share and even better advice!
Thanks for sharing your tough but valuable story.. The situation you were in was no different from deciding that you want to buy a car.. Not just any car but THAT car.. you MUST have it.. and the dealer knows this. So he brings you in on the base price and starts to rob you on the accessories and financing terms.. But you don’t care you’re already locked in.. at this point everyone except knows that you are screwed and the car dealer is laughing with his boss all the way to the bank.
There’s an old saying that I’m sure you know.. It says something like this.. if you really want something you have to be prepared to walk away from it.. This is perhaps the greatest wisdom anyone ever needs to know.
Here’s the bottom line when it comes to meeting and courting a Russian girl. It’s the old 80/20 rule. (For anyone who doesn’t know what the 80/20 rule is I would highly recommend you google it and STUDY IT.) When it comes to courting a Russian girl 20% or less of your total efforts should be focused on the correspondence and 80% needs to be focused on face time. Most guys make the BIG mistake of having this reversed and then that’s when I can pretty much guarantee that they will fail.
Here’s the next bit of VERY IMPORTANT WISDOM all of YOU MEN MUST UNDERSTAND.
Back to the car THAT YOU MUST HAVE example.
OK so you’re hooked on this beautiful car.. you want to take it for a test drive. You put the key in the ignition and turn it and… cough choke cough.. it won’t start.. You play with the clutch.. you step on the gas and pump it harder.. you make several more attempts.. FINALLY you get it to start!
As you drive it out of the dealership and take it for a spin.. something doesn’t feel right.. There’s a 2 second delay between the time you step on the gas and the time the car accelerates. The engine is making VERY STRANGE sounds AND the whole car frame creaks and moans like an derelict sailing boat. You turn on the air con and it’s weak and it makes the engine lose lots of power. The car stereo sounds like crap.. But hey the dealer keeps on coming up with GREAT excuses.. and keeps on telling you “No problem buddy.. when you take her home she won’t have these problems and besides we have a 100,000 mile or 5 year warranty plan!”
Do you need me to go on? You guys starting to get this?
You’d have to be the craziest or blindest person in the world to want to actually go ahead and take this car home! Just think of what your friends and neighbors would say! Please don’t take this personally Timmy because we’ve ALL done this to different levels including your truly. : )
If this were any car.. no matter how beautiful it was.. there would be no way in hell you’d go through with the purchase.. Why should it be any different with ANY GIRL you’re dating? Guys if the chick starts choaking like a car that’s a total lemon the first time you meet her with lame excuses and poor behavior.. CUT YOUR LOSES NOW and go to plans B, C, D, E, of F.. get it? That’s why they call it a TEST DRIVE in the first place..
What I want all of you to understand is that you are there to evaluate the girl just as much (if not more) then her evaluating you. So PLEASE go in with this attitude and conduct yourself that way!
Your last bit of advice on taking as much time as you possibly can and dating her 50′s style is spot on brother.. You my friend have learned a VERY valuable lesson and I wish you the power to get the best in what ever you want because you have the BALLS to try to reach for it. Just be happy you aren’t sleeping with that wench. Be very happy…
Hold your head high Timmy and realized that you had the guts to step into the gladiator arena when all the spectators around you wouldn’t dare.
Keep on posting.. Cheers!
Just one thing on the 80/20 rule -
That’s hard to do!
Unless you’re wealthy and can spend more time in Russia than here working and covering your bills, it will be next to impossible for the average guy.
Another problem I had with meeting multiple women was they would probably be stretched out across Russia. I wouldn’t have the time to go to multiple places – or the money to help them all meet me in one place.
If I had it to do over again I would probably try to find a few women in one city (probably Novosibirsk!) that I was quite interested in and try to meet others while I was there.
If you could spend a month – spend 2 weeks dating and 2 weeks “fine tuning”.
But that’s only if I felt anxious! Ideally you should probably go twice for a month. (On the one hand I’m not getting any younger – on the other I would never again want to rush things and get burned again)
I’m just trying to offer advice to try to help others avoid the grief I experienced. Now I’ve got to chill – if my wife knew I was even writing ANYTHING about RW’s she would be so PI$$#D and upset with me – as harmless as my intentions are.
Yes it is..
It IS HARD to do but if you look at it from the big picture.. Is there something better or more valuable in your life that you should be concentrating on?
What’s the price of an investment into developing a solid marriage with the girl you’ve always wanted in your life COMPARED to the price of a divorce, broken hearts & maybe split families.. Believe me the two aren’t even close expense wise along all dimensions.
Again I realize that taking the time and money to go to Russia is probably a very difficult thing to do for most men. But then so is getting a College degree later in life. At some point you have to say.. wait a minute.. I really need to stop what i’m caught up in now.. to focus on what I really need or desire in my life. This type of risk taking is not for everyone.. but to me it’s what makes up the story of your life. Is it a cool interesting story? Or is it just your average one?
Keep in mind there’s a billion other things you can do to make this story interesting. But if going to Russia is something that a man want’s to do it with.. then as Captain Picard would say..
“Make it so..”
Timmy,
I here ya! I’ve been there and done most of the mistakes that are warned about. I have an excuse that I didn’t have the help and support that can be found in the internet forums at the time.
You are so true about not taking any sheet from RW. This is a violation of the 9th basic tenet in the “Words in Stone.” Sure RW can be emotional and fiery, however to be disrespectful to their intented for sure is a red flag that must be dealt with. Should be a deal breaker if it is left unchecked.
Ronin_RWP
Most guys who come here just get so enamoured by the fact that incredibly beautiful girls over here will openly talk with them. This is a bit of sensory overload and it creates problems in the judgement side of the equation when it comes to evaluating what type of woman would be a good match for them.
This very old desire to interact with beautiful women is like a little boy jumping up and down for joy emotionally when it first happens and there is nothing wrong with this.
I just want to point out that once this starts to happen common sense is often the first thing to go out the window. But hey we’ve all been there..
I discovered this article by accident. I find it interesting because
of the bitterness, the loneliness, the endemic sexism and racism
expressed by the author. *I* am NOT the author of this. As insight
into a personality, it is invaluable to writers, and as a yardstick of
cultural racism in our country. The sweeping stereotypes…well, read
for yourself.]
From: jhumble@enet.net
Newsgroups: alt.personals
Subject: RUSSIAN WOMEN
Date: 27 Feb 1995 08:00:04 GMT
Organization: Evergreen Communications, Phoenix, Arizona
RUSSIAN WOMEN
Do They Make Good Wives?
There are a number of agencies that will provide almost any
American man with a female in Russia who wants to come to America.
After a few letters and telephone conversations one is usually ready to
bring the Russian lady to America. If all is OK, one often gets
married within a month or two of the arrival of the lady in America (or
a day or two). The cost of a round trip ticket (it is necessary to buy
a round trip ticket) varies from about $1200 to $2500. The agency fee
is in addition to this and can be as high as $5000, but is often as low
as $500.
The various agencies are the fastest, but also the most
expensive. There are also simply writing clubs where by you can write
to any number of a list of ladies. You could also put your own ad in a
Russian Newspaper. There are American advertising agencies that know
how to do this. If you go to Russia you will be able to find a wife in
a week or two as there are thousands of women who want to come to
America. So I won’t say much more about this end of it, since this
letter is about Russian women.
I married two Russian women: We have only had free movement between
Russia and America for about 5 years or so, so having married two
Russian women was quite a trick, and not something I would do again.
To determine if Russian women will make good wives the first
thing that one should look at is the Russian culture. One might think
that any kind of up bringing can be over come. One often sees people
from the ghettoes doing quite well in life, even when they were in the
ghetto their entire childhood. However, I don’t think this is true of
Russian women. I believe that they will never over come their Russian
up bringing. The basic reason for this is simply that they don’t want
to over come their up bringing, while those who come from the ghettoes
usually want to change to get the better things in life that they
desire. The Russian women think that the way they are is absolutely
ideal, and it never occurs to them that there are better ways in life.
In 1992 I traveled to Russia where I met my first Russian
wife. I spent several weeks in Moscow and traveled to a number of
other Russian cities. I was invited to many Russian homes to eat and
to stay the night. I was able to see the Russian culture first hand.
They were anxious to show me how they lived. The Russian people now
love Americans more than any other nationality. No matter where I went
I was welcome. In restaurants where there were lines, I was always
taken to the head of the line, if they found out that I was American.
When I had occasion to go to the doctor, I was taken beyond the line to
a private room for treatment (no charge for treatment and medicine).
It was fabulous treatment for an average American who had never been a
celebrity. I thought that maybe Russian wives might like me the same.
When I married my Russian wives it had never occurred to me to
look at the differences in our cultures. Had I looked, I might not
have been so impulsive. So let us look at the important cultural
differences that will affect a marriage directly. In Russia it is
unacceptable to show any kind of affection in public. Lovers do not
hold hands in public. They do not put their arms around one another.
Mothers and Fathers never hug or kiss their children except maybe on
New Year’s night. But this is not really the problem, the real problem
is that they are taught never to show affection and emotion.
In Russia there is no such thing as double beds. Husbands and
wives never sleep together. Not even one family out of a thousand has
double beds. All sleep in separate single beds. Russian women have
never even considered sleeping night after night with a husband.
You have no idea how deeply rooted these teachings and customs
have become. Russia is more like another planet than another country.
No other country in the world are people taught to disregard affection
and love like in Russia. For 80 years the communists controlled
Russia. No one was safe. All were taught that they must tattle tale
on one another about anything that was wrong. A wife could tell on her
husband, if he wasn’t doing something right. Quite often he would just
never come home (he was shot). To lose a spouse in Russia wasn’t the
same as here. The government paid for everything. If the husband
never comes home, so what, the wife still gets paid. Children were
encourage to tattle tale on their parents. If they said something that
was not acceptable to the KGB, the parent simply didn’t come home
(again, they were shot).
Love in Russia really became extinct. I know, we say love is a
natural thing and anyone can fall in love. That may be true,
but in a society that does not recognize love as valuable, one soon
learns to take care of himself and to not get too close to anyone. One
must be careful not to get to attached to someone, one day he might not
return.
When the KGB was closed less than 10 years ago, the reporters
were shown into the KGB building. In one large room in that building
was a list of 10 million Russians that had been shot by the KGB. These
people were simply listed as “Enemies of the State.” None were given a
trial of any kind. The person at the local KGB office simply said,
“Shoot this guy,” and he was shot. It wasn’t even a hearing. Someone
tattled on his neighbor for any one of a hundred things and the local
KGB shot him. The idea of course, was to make the society a better
place, but it didn’t work that way.
So how does this all affect Russian women. Well they are
trained from birth to not show love and affection. They know that
showing too much love could even result in being shot. To love someone
who doesn’t come home one evening can break your heart. Best not to
love much at all. Russian women often talk about love, but
unfortunately and sadly, they do not know what love is. They will
certainly never demonstrate their love with kisses and hugs. They
might for a few days, but never for any period of time. They don’t
even like kisses and hugs.
I met many Russian women in Russia. In fact, during my stay
there I constantly had at least two Russian women with me and sometimes
three. They were easy to meet once they knew I was American. They
were anxious to please. They even asked me for sex. The idea behind
all the attention and sex was that they wanted to come to America. The
Russian woman that I finally brought back with me did just that. She
pretended that she just couldn’t resist me. She told me she wanted me
and then went with me to my hotel room. Others did the same.
Sex with a Russian woman beyond about the third time is about
like making love to a dead horse. They don’t take part except
to lay still and let it happen. I had several Russian women tell me
that they lived with their husbands for 10 years without ever kissing
them. They had the dead horse sex, but they never kissed their
husbands in the process of sex. You may think that could happen in
isolated cases, but I talked to enough Russian women and saw enough of
them to tell you that it is normal. Kissing, you see, is showing
affection and love, and that is not part of a Communist State. Of
course, communism is dead, and the Russians hate communism, but it will
be years before they understand that the fear of love is a communist
thing.
Russian men are all macho. They all must be brave. Showing
love for a woman is a weakness. They talk love, but they don’t show
it. Many Russian men are so brave (macho) that they don’t look both
ways when crossing the street. Looking isn’t macho. Thus many get
killed by cars. Of course, the men in the cars are macho too, thus
they pretend they don’t see the people on foot. Macho for men is the
thing in Russia. Macho sex is to take the woman by the hand, push her
on the bed, and make love to her, and then go back out and drink
another drink. Women in Russia expect it.
Russian women think it is normal to not show love. Thus you
will not be able to change them. They don’t want to change. They
want to remain the same. They know that kissing and hugs and other
demonstrations of love are dangerous things. Of course, they will
demonstrate affection at first. They even do that in Russia in
courtship, to a small extent, but when the one week honey moon is over,
don’t expect kisses or hugs. As far as sex is concerned, they like it,
and they want it. You are expected to climb on and do your thing as
often as you like, but don’t expect them to take part other than to do
what they are told. If you are like 80% of the American men, that
might be OK, but if you want a woman who shows love and affection
during sex and who sometimes kisses you and even touches you, then
don’t try a Russian wife.
Look at Russia now. They are killing one another as I write
this letter. Over 110,000,000 Russians have been killed by
Russians in the last 80 years. Can you see how a country can be devoid
of love. That much killing of one’s own country men brings about men
and women who show very little and can have very little love. For 150
years in America we have not killed one another on vast scales like
Russia. The killing and the communist teaching simply changes the way
one looks at and handles love.
Russian ladies are almost all very beautiful. The cold climate
and the wet weather produces beautiful women. They are 99% all of the
white race. They are not oriental. Russians drive on the right side
of the road. Their light switches turn light on in the up position.
Their school year is the same as ours. For what ever reason a greater
percentage of their customs follow ours than most other countries in
the world.
So do you want a Russian woman for a wife? It depends upon
what you want. If you want a beautiful woman who is a good
show piece then go for it. But if you are expecting any gratitude for
your spending money and time then forget it. They believe that their
husbands owe it all to them. The state gave them their money, it
didn’t come from their husbands. So they expected the husband to do
all those other things. They will expect you to do everything and buy
them everything and they will seldom, if ever say thanks. They never
say please, or thanks. It makes them feel degraded to do such a
thing.
You can train them to do say thanks, but never expect a kiss
or a hug when you come home.
Any Russian woman who was brought up within the borders of
Russia will be the way I have described here. I am sorry that all that
killing and terrible things took place, and I feel sorry for all those
people who will never know real love or even real affection. I feel
sorry for all those children who never receive kisses from their
parents, but feeling sorry would not make me marry another Russian
woman. My life only become tolerable with both of my Russian wives
when I quit trying to create any kind of love. As long as I furnished
the shelter, food, clothing, TV, and other niceties everything was
fine, but never ask for a kiss. She will prefer to sleep in a separate
bed like her parents did and like all Russians do. Russian women will
sleep with you if you insist, but all married people in Russia sleep in
separate beds, and so if you marry a Russian woman, her parents slept
in sperate beds, so she will prefer separate beds.
A Russian woman will live with you, will take what you give
her, will never say thanks unless you train her to and will
show little affection, but will demonstrate no affection after the
first two or three weeks. She will live taking everything you give
only as a friend might, except the friend would show gratitude. You
can have a very pleasant relationship if you are willing to have only a
friendly relationship and are willing to finance her totally plus you
can have sex, and in her own way she may even love you a little and she
will even tell you so, but she will certainly never demonstrate it.
As far as my two Russian wives were concerned our sex was
completely unacceptable. After the first three weeks, it was
expected that when I wanted sex she would just lay their and I would do
all the action. But although I never had a sexual problem my whole
life, I could not for the life of me just make sex that way. I
expected at least a few kisses during sex. When I wouldn’t perform
both wives asked me to sleep in another bed as they couldn’t sleep with
someone who didn’t give them good sex. When I suggested a marriage
councilor and sexual consultant the first wife flatly refused, and the
second one agreed, but refused to accompany me on the day of the
appointment. When I brought her literature back from the councilor,
she refused to read it.
It is extremely unfortunate that sex is so repressed in
Russia. When I was there many people told me that it was wrong
to have sex when I was not married to a woman. They explained to me
that any woman that came to my hotel room, even if she were single, was
subject to being arrested and taken to jail. There are no judges or
juries. There is only the local police. If someone calls and says
that you are having sex in a hotel room and are not married the local
police can come arrest you if they wish, and that’s what has happened
for the last 80 years. The police make their own decision on what to
do with you. So you see, sex has been badly repressed in Russia. I
assume that the communists were trying to keep the population down, but
what ever the reason it does exist.
When you try to create a loving home with a Russian woman she
feels that you put her at risk. She feels threatened. She feels that
it is wrong. Somewhere in her subconscious mind she is afraid that to
show you love will bring the wrath of the communists. She cannot
tolerate it. The fact that the communists no longer exist means
nothing to her subconscious mind. She will become angry, upset, and
impossible to live with. It is very sad that it is this way, but
that’s the way it is. The Russians are beginning to dig their way out
of this situation, but at this time any American man who marries a
Russian woman is probably biting off a great deal more than he can
chew.
If one did marry a Russian woman he should have her agree to at
least a year of counseling after the marriage. Russian women are like
alcoholics, they will have to realize that something is wrong before
they can be helped and I doubt that a Russian woman will ever realize
that. In her mind there is too much at stake. It’s cultures in direct
conflict, yours and hers.
So now you know. Good luck.
Ok so I’ve read this whole article and have a pretty good understanding about what happened with this poor guy.
Basically he ended up marrying 2 women who were prostitutes.
And as we say.. he got what he paid for..
Good Russian girls do not go to a Man’s hotel room and have sex with him because in Russia it is widely believed that only prostitutes do that. The Soviet’s were not so interested in clamping down on sex as they were in trying to keep certain places like hotels free from prostitutes.
Good Russian girls will NOT solicit a man for sex. And even good prostitutes won’t even do that. Looks like this poor guy needed to get laid and came here and easily got some sex and ended up marrying one girl.. then turn around and make the same mistake again.. So instead of saying oops I totally screwed up.. He wants to blame the girls in this society. Whatever..
You need more clues? Well prostitutes don’t kiss now do they? They just let you do what you want to do.. as this guy described for his sex life..
Husband and wife not sleeping in the same bed and in seperate rooms? I have yet to find any normal Russian home that has a spare room for sleeping. They don’t have them. Yes sometimes the beds are too small because most Russian homes don’t have dedicated bedrooms and the couch in the “living room” folds out to turn into a bed. But they still sleep together.
I can go on and on but I think you are starting to get the point.
In my opinion he did a great job of describing what married life is like with a prostitute who was mostly likely severely sexually abused and just trying to get by. Hence the total shut down of emotions and affection. Not a fun thing to get involved in by any measure in Russia or anywhere else in the world.
The good girls are not like this.. and thankfully they are in the VAST majority here.
Thanks for posting this.. More then happy to see the bad with the good.
Because after all this is “The REAL Truth” isn’t it?
GL
Regarding Russian/Ukrainian women not being affectionate, I have been married for five years to a Ukrainian lady and we still have passionate love making every day (I work out alot to make this possible as I almost 20 years older). No dead horse here!
My wife says the stuff about Russian women sleeping in separate beds is completely wrong. Our full-size bed gets banged around at least once a day.
Is it reallt true to have several ladies writing at the same time? I feel I have found a special lady and in the past I tried to write several, but my conscience got the best of me. I wish to be honest and honorable but I’ve been too naive before and don’t wish to be played a sucker anymore.
Advise please?
Canajun go ahead and look through “Russian Women Questions and Answers” Parts 1, 2, and 5. You might find some info there to help you.
Good Luck.. GL
hahaha… This is a funny post!
Gud luck classifying men visiting that come to Russia. Soon you have to sub classify those…
anyway, its very funny though! hahah…
Jonathan Lewis
Webmaster
http://Airline-Ticket-Guide.useful-tips.com/
this is sooo true. i had to laugh because these are the only 3 kinds of men alive. but i have talked to many russian women by email, i’ve had a few try to scam me, i caught on to them early on and kept it alive long enough to get the info that other sites required to blacklist them. but i have met some very intelligent, insightful, and very engaging women from russia. i love the culture, and i respect the attitudes of those that i have spoken to. keep up your work on this site!
[...] Unfortunately he fits too easily the profile of one type of Man I’ve written about previously…. [...]
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