“Hello, Do you speak English?”
Those simple 5 words are the BEST way to approach ANY beautiful girl on the street. It doesn’t matter if you are in a club, walking in a park or in any social setting. It takes a little courage but if you are a tourist you have a strong license to act like one. It’s always MUCH easier for you to meet girls this way because you are in “explorer mode” and the locals are usually eager to help. Keep in mind that this method works pretty well no matter how beautiful the girl is.
Do not worry about girls who do not respond to you or say “No”. You can either say “Ok” and walk away or you can make a joke out of it by saying, “Wow.. NO is an English word too!.. You speak English!” If you keep on playing this back and forth you have a much better chance of advancing.
The reason I recommend the 2nd option is because most girls are very shy and self-conscious about their English and usually don’t want to try to speak it to a foreigner. This is a very big reason why for example you should never try to ask them in Russian if they speak English.
If for example saying “Hello do you speak English?” gives you a 60% to 75% positive response rate then saying “Pan-gle-ski Gava-reet?” will only give you a less then 20% response rate in my experience. For some reason they are much more self-conscious about their English if you ask them in Russian! So just don’t do it…
Now of course the types of responses you will get will also depend on what region of the country you are in. Generally the farther away you are from Moscow the warmer the overall attitudes are.
Many girls will immediately be curious that you are a foreigner and will want to find out more about you. If this happens then you have an warm conversation waiting for you. Obviously if you reach this point then offering a second meeting at some cafe along with an exchange of phone numbers is mandatory.
Don’t offer to go to a restaurant because it may be considered too formal for a first date. Restaurants have a different meaning in Russia then in the US because over here they are always considered to be fine dining establishments.
Many girls are always walking in pairs with a best friend. (Don’t be surprised if they are holding hands too because that is just a normal sign of friendship here and doesn’t mean that they are lesbians!) If one is more beautiful then the other do not be afraid to concentrate on the beautiful one you like. That is considered normal in Russia so you don’t have to pretend that you are also attracted to her friend as well. Just be very friendly and respectful to both and you can’t go wrong.
One final bit of advice. When you first see a beautiful girl try to say hello to her within 10 seconds of making eye contact with her. That’s right 10 seconds. You will really need to work on this but it’s very effective. Try not to stare at her first for 5 to 10 minutes and then work up enough courage to approach her. She may still respond positively to you but it also may just intimidate or bother her because the local guys do that often.
Now when you use this or any other advice I give from now on I want you guys to return the favor and write back to my blog with how it went. It’s called building “Good Karma” and I’m sure you can always use more of this in your life!
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Interesting. I’ve know how different Russian social conventions are from ours, but it seems some things remain the same no matter what side of the world you’re on. I’ve been surprised just how many younger Russians are equally fluent in English and Russian. I’ve always wanted to visit the Ukraine and Russia, and I intend to make that happen sooner than later. I’d be going there not to meet women so much, but to see the land my father and his family came from.
Taras
Well Taras I hope you make that trip soon to visit your ancestral lands. I’m sure you will reconnect with who you and your family are on a very deep and profound level.
English is the international language and many Russians know it.. They know that if they want to travel to a popular place for them like Turkey that they have to speak English and not turkish to get around.. It’s the same way when they travel to the EU.
Anyways hope to see you in Russia Soon!
Excuse me, Gentlemen, I ought to suggest a little editing – please start the magic phrase with “Excuse me” instead of “Hello”. Just try this advice out and see your response rate increase.
“Excuse me” (= iz-vi-nee-te) is the normal polite introductory jingle to catch the attention of a stranger in Russian. It has nothing to do with self-deprecation, though certainly alleviates any intrusion (and therefore is a must-say in situations of sharing space, like making one’s way in a crowd, bus, a row of audience seats etc).
“Hello” is our way to greet one’s pals (= “Privyet”) or to check connection over the phone (= “Allo”). Used to address a stranger, especially of opposite sex, “Hello” > “Hi” > “Hey” feels assumingly-to-disrespectfully familiarizing.
(Key word – FEELS. Apart from their tolerance of curiosity or experience, in the critical first seconds that determine switching on/off a sudden conversation, these intuitive creatures have yet scarce rational data to override their native patterns and possibly unpleasant examples of other tourists.)
Paradoxically, same story with the travelbook lingo. In fact, Russian women would be even more conscious (subconsciously) of your Russian than of their English. Why am I not surprised that “Pan-gle-ski Gava-reet?” doesn’t work… Translate it as “Speaks English?” – any courtesy omitted – with a tune of colonialistic condescension and ghetto accent! ))
Maybe it’s Eastern. Just remember Hatori Hanzo’s and Pei Mei’s perceptions of Uma “Mamba” Thurman, based on her level of Japanese and Mandarina, in “Kill Bill”. ) Anyway, my observation is that good foreign language speaks more than lame native… not to diminish the importance of etiquette formulae.
Back to greetings. Letters / Emails, in the Russian tradition, are started with “Dear [name]”. “Good morning / afternoon / evening” is appropriate; its round-the-clock counterpart “Zdravstvuyte” (bidding health) is separated with a comma if written before or after the name, and pronounced as “zdrA-stvui-te” (relieving one from the first “v”)). If you want to be informal, “Goodmoment” could be cool: neutral, witty, creative, somewhat philosophical – a perfect pattern-breaker entrancer from NLP view (no negative associations implied) so as some folks in the Russian web community even translate it as “Dobrogo vremeni”.
“V dobry chas” (Good luck),
and “Boodte zdorOvy” / “Beregheete sebyA” (With wishes of good health / Take care),
Comrade Natalia
P.S. Some more tips on making spontaneous Russian public encounters in this post (sorry for the umbrella title).
Thank you Comrade Nat.
Your advice will be noted and reflected upon.
[...] spend most their time otherwise than hitting the streets or drinking in parks). Well, YOU have got an advantageous excuse for getting in contact – as a foreigner in need of some help. Just mind courtesy [...]