Kristina from Astana - photo by abilbek narembayev
If any of you ladies out there are interested in learning more about the beauty habits of Russian Women then this article is for you.
It’s about the various impressions of foreign woman who observe Russian Ladies for the first time.
It is always interesting to see how women see each other and the little things they notice that may normally be overlooked by us Men.
In my mind it only goes to further prove just how uniquely different men and women really are from each other.
What do foreign women working in Russia really think about their Russian counterparts?
Foreign women have mixed views about Russian beauty
It seems universally accepted that Russian women are beautiful, but what do foreign women living in Russia really think about their Russian counterparts?
Erica Orlandi, 29, Italian, Managing Director of ITALIA. Life as Art magazine
“Four years ago, when I first came to Russia, I was literally stunned by how Russian women look – in a positive sense. Russian women do take care of themselves, but there is a big difference between young and mature women. The latter care much less about their appearance: many older women don’t take care of their skin and figure, and they dye hair in strange colors. It Italy, it’s vice versa: Women over 40 look much more well-groomed than younger women.What I don’t understand is why women here do not wax their upper lip. Another strange thing is that some of my Russian friends wash their hair every single day, insisting that this is the right thing to do. But this is wrong and even bad for your hair! Then, many Russian women have a weakness for heavy foundation and face powder, which makes their faces look like masks. Russian women also use too much perfume, but we have this problem in Italy, too.
At the same time, Moscow is a paradise for hands! Now I cannot live without Moscow manicures – they are so much better than in Italy. Perhaps, it is because of the climate: It is cold and dirty in Moscow for much of the year, so your hands need constant care. The only thing I can’t comprehend is the popularity of fake nails. How do you clean with them? And how do you do any work with your hands in general?”
Carmit Dahan, 38, Israeli, beautician, director of instructors department at SharpLight
“There are two extremes among Russian women: some put all their energy into education and their own development and have little interest in their personal appearance, while others spend too much on their appearance, and they do it quite well at that.Russians are very well informed in everything cosmetics, make-up and skin care. For an average Israeli woman, it is enough to just put some moisturizer on her face in the morning, while a Russian woman would use an entire range of cosmetic products, including regular facial masks, peeling creams and salon procedures. Russian women also start to use anti-aging creams at an earlier age, which is an advantage. They are also more responsible about their diets.
At the same time, many women wear heavy evening makeup in the morning, as if they are going clubbing. I think this is unnecessary. I would recommend they temper their fervor somewhat.”
Patricia Robel, 32, German, economist:
“I came to Russia eight years ago, and my first impression was that there is a competition going on here over men. Most women therefore looked very well groomed to me, elegantly dressed (although sometimes too provocatively), with stylish hair, but too much makeup. The latter, I think, was their main flaw. These days, however, Russian women don’t look much different than their European counterparts. Though, sometimes I am surprised to see women wearing mini-skirts and high heels when it’s a freezing -20 degrees outside.What I like about Russian women is their ability to emphasize their strengths; even their fake nails look good. But evening makeup in the morning is annoying – it looks out of place. Russian women also have a weakness for sweet perfume, which is irritating. In other words, I would recommend Russian women to use makeup more sparingly in their desire to seduce someone. Men, after all, appreciate a natural look.”
Dora Kiralihidi, 34, Hungarian, business director at LeoBurnett:
“Russian women are very beautiful and look well-groomed. I can always tell a Russian woman abroad: They are always concerned about their makeup and clothes, even when they are going to the beach. The natural look and minimalist makeup is not in vogue here. At the same time, Russian women use heavy foundation creams on their faces, especially in the winter, to protect their skin from cold and icy winds.
Makeup and beauty services are very expensive here, and I am not sure that women with average incomes can fully afford all that. I, therefore, suspect, that many color their hair and do beauty procedures at home.I have also noticed that Russian women love all things natural, and almost everyone has a recipe for her grandma’s homemade cream. And those who can afford beauty salons go there almost every day. Meanwhile, there are very few classical spa salons in Russia, and banya seems to be the only alternative.
It is easy to see that Russians use too much perfume with very bright, strong fragrances, refreshing them throughout the day. You can feel it even at a distance! That’s too much for my taste.”
And the verdict?
So, the verdict is that Russian women wear makeup that is too bright and heavy, they use strong perfumes, love manicures and don’t ever leave beauty salons. But is it really that bad? Perhaps these are just elements of the mysterious Russian soul? What do you think?
(original article can be read here)
Please enter your email for special updates, news & upcoming offers 
Interesting impressions! I agree with everything.
Provocative clothes and noticeable make-up is a little too much for me as well … now. But when I was a girl, oh my god, I looked so provocative. And I enjoyed being criticized by women and adored by men. =) It gave a lot energy and fun.
After getting married I realized that I don’t want other men to be attracted to me that way any more. Seeing my blue eyes and charming smile is more than enough. Everything else is only for my husband.
Yes but at least many Russian Women CAN wear provocative clothes and look both sexy and classy at the same time.
And by the way I’ve seen more then my share of sexy Russian Wives who can still knock em dead with their style without being misrepresented the wrong way. But then again this is the culture that exists here.
That was a great article, too bad it said nothing that I didn’t know already… I’m a Russian myself, although I now live in the USA, and I remember how beautiful were women around me always dressed to impress. But then when I came to the USA and was finally growing into my beauty was often critisised and looked at as if I was a sluty little man stiller … even though I dressed to impress myself, most offten avoided men at all cost and was happy doing it too…I now remember why women in Russia always dressed to impress and that’s cuz our life in Russia is hard as it is and looking in the mirror and seeing how beautiful you are makes the situation much better. And living in the US now I see how jelous girls are of Russian women…it’s some what flattering and some what irritating… I mean we can’t help it that we are beautiful… u know? I mean I’m tired of hearing Russian women this and that, why you so concerned anyway… you aint me, you worried about the wrong shit right now…
Great article, RW! Like most women, I do love to snoop on other women’s beauty routines. It was especially interesting to hear the perspectives of other women who are also famous for their beauty. Italian women of course have long been known for their beauty (one top Russian official even compared Italian women to Russian women in terms of beauty). Hungarian women are gorgeous from what I’ve heard and many men go to Hungary to meet attractive women. I think Israeli women are some of the most gorgeous creatures I’ve ever seen–in a natural way. I can vouch that many Israeli women wear little more than moisturizer–and they look flawless! I think Russian women pull off the heavy make up look and sexy clothes because of their genuine smiles. Ladies, never forget to smile–it’s the best beauty trick out there!
Also, I wonder if anyone else has noticed that Russian style see-through shirts are coming into style stateside? Here are some fashions I’ve spotted:
http://www.express.com/for-her.sec
http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1284544785359&c=Page&cid=1284548313100&pagename=vsdWrapper
Gotta love it!
–Anna M.
Hi Anna..
Yes I think the see through style is incredibly sexy myself. And I’ve been seeing it for years in Russia. You can take a look at an image of a friend of mine named Snejana from Siberia who loved this style.
http://russianwomentruth.com/russian-women-photos-4/
Come to think of it when I snapped that photo.. I must’ve loved it too!
I can see why you like that look, your friend is so gorgeous! And the smile tempers the sexiness of the look and makes her seem more approachable. I still don’t know if I have the courage to pull off the look, but I have to say, with the cost of lingerie (sorry, girl talk), I really do wish I could just wear it outright as clothing sometimes! At up to $50 (or more!) a piece, it’s often more expensive than the clothes you wear over it! Ha! More economical!
–Anna M.
I’m sorry Anna but after making a comment like that you at least have me intrigued as to how you would look in a semi-transparent outfit.
I’m open to any photo submissions if you ever feel up to it..
Haha! Thank you, RW…I am flattered! Well, maybe for next year’s Halloween costume…I’ll be a Russian Girl ;p
Just to be ‘clear’ on the subject, throughout most of NA I have seen the coming and going and coming back again trend of sheer colors over similarly colored underthings for most of my adult life. Probably the most noticeable difference this time around is the emphasis on black. As a reasonably normal man, its a trend I never grow tired of as long as it is done with some sense of taste and style.
Richard, you’re more hip than I am! Maybe I just don’t get out much! I still haven’t seen that look out here in the Midwest, but maybe that will change soon! Anyways, it’s interesting to know so many men like yourself like this look. I always love hearing what men think about women’s fashion choices!
Hi Anna,
I’m not too sure about being hip, but being a Midwesterner originally, I know that fashion trends can be a bit delayed sometimes. Like a decade or two. (he said with a smile) One of the things I appreciate most when back home, is that the people there are NOT usually caught up in whatever the latest fashion craze might be. It may seem “slow” or “backward” to those ‘flat-landers and big city folk’, but I think it adds to the inherent charm of the whole Midwestern lifestyle.
Many of the outfits worn by girls on this site would work just about anywhere in NA if the girls here carried themselves with a similar sense of pride. Maybe not so much in a little farm community like the one I come from, but surely in all of the larger towns and cities, these girls would fit in just fine.
After living so long on the West Coast and traveling around to other countries, my best advice for women who want to make a statement on their style (not that you asked for it or anything) is to work within the heritage of your own locale. Any attire that accentuates the good points of your region while leaning on fresh designs is a benefit in every way, don’t you think?
There are a lot of very nice, very attractive women in the Midwest and even a few that have not yet fully succumbed to the post feminist diversion. If there is any one part of NA that has potential for family values to survive to any degree, I would have to say you’re pretty close to it. So looking nice and maybe even being a bit daring at times might just wake a few people up.
Sorry, Richard, for not replying sooner. Your insight is always appreciated! I agree, practicality in all areas of life, including dress is considered a virtue in the Midwest…,probably from the farming culture. I’ve definitely gotten my share of looks for wearing “going out” clothes to every day activities. I think it just doesn’t seem like a priority for many midwesterners, and again, I don’t think it’s a feminist thing, just a “practical” thing. In any event, I just try to smile, and people seem to warm up to me eventually.
–Anna M.
Anna,
I also wanted to say that you made a great observation!
Russian Women CAN wear incredibly sexy clothes like this and not come off as cold or arrogant because of how feminine and happy they naturally are..
And by the way I certainly agree with you regarding Hungarian Women. They are also total knock outs.
What they they all are trying to convey is that Russian women in general are more prone to be end up being overdressed for most occasions.
What is “overdressed”? Is it overdressed to make your best effort to look ‘nice’ for every occasion? Is it overdressed to wear a ‘dress’ when jeans would do fine, like running to the store for a bottle of milk?
I know European and Asian people from their early twenties to their late seventies and the rule they all go by is to dress as if the next person you meet is somebody very important. An old German business associate of mine always says, “wann immer jemand Sie sehen kann, der Versuch, zum Ihres Besten immer zu schauen” as he is getting ready to leave the house. (If I have that right it is something like ‘always look your best if someone is going to see you’)
A girl from Poland that works in a retail store near me has to wear a smock over her own clothing, yet she always dresses just a little nicer than the rest of the girls she works with. She doesn’t do it for ego or to show up anyone. Her motivation is to look her best for the situation at hand. Her husband wears slacks rather than jeans and a sport shirt instead of a t-shirt and he puts on a tie even when he’s out making deliveries.
A healthy self image always dictates looking better than you need to look whenever you are able.
In Hong Kong I saw hundreds of office girls, retail workers and waitresses going to and from work each day. My first impression carried throughout my time there. No other place I have ever spent any reasonable amount of time has ever surpassed the level of daily dress I saw there. Nearly every person there (with the only exception being hard laborers) and the young women especially, was wearing very nice, very stylish clothing. Even visiting a local family in their own home proved that their intent was to show themselves in the best possible manner to anyone they encountered.
In contrast, walk though a grocery or department store in NA today. It is a freakin’ nightmare what you will see walking around in public over here.
(Just Google ‘People of WalMart’ sometime. That is NOT a few rare instances being displayed.)
It is hard to imagine overdressing in today’s world. If a person, particularly a young woman, dresses to their best in a casual daily situation, I will ALWAYS make an effort to tell them how nice they look. And that gesture is so pitifully rare in NA that most women don’t even know how to handle the compliment.
Overdressed is like wearing a dress with a bit of butt cleavage to work. (Saw it myself)
Overdressed is wearing a party gear (lots of cristals low cut short sparkling something) during the day. Overdressed like wearing a night gown to a place where a cocktail dress is required. Or high heels when traveling or on the beach. =)
“Is it overdressed to wear a ‘dress’ when jeans would do fine, like running to the store for a bottle of milk?”
you are quite correct here it depends on the dress doesn’t it?
BTW i like the way asians dress, it’s so cute!
Okay, now we’re on the same page. Thanks for the clarification. I try to be careful to understand what is meant by some comments.
I agree that things like dinner gowns instead of a cocktail dress and that sort of thing are poor judgment calls and clearly overdressing for the occasion.
Most of what I see these days is more like simple bad taste rather than overdressing, like the “bit of butt cleavage to work” example. That is just cheap in my opinion.
Richard, I took a look at those Wal-Mart photos. Talking about butt cleavage……….!!!
I understand it all comes from the desire “to look the best” and as long is here in most cases sexy=beautiful so our women don’t really have much to choose from.
But Russian women will always make an effort! =)
“Just Google ‘People of WalMart’ sometime. That is NOT a few rare instances being displayed.”
I did. I am honestly shocked. Does WalMart attract any particular population segment? It looks as if the shoppers there are mainly working class to lower middle class…?
Just so you know, I have friends from nearly every economic levels and most of them hit a WalMart from time to time. I shop there for many things.
Based on price points as the obvious bottom line cause, middle and lower income families are more likely to frequent WalMart, but let’s be honest; if I can buy a 42″ LCD flat screen for $900 from some major tech equipment retailer or buy the same one at WalMart for $500, I would be stupid to burn the difference just to say I bought my new TV from an “electronics” store.
The “People of WalMart” thing is an ongoing and constantly updated portrait of NA absurdity in a public place. I have seen some of these same types of people in the new WalMart a few miles from my home. I have actually redirected my daughter a couple of times while walking through the store so that she wouldn’t see some ultra ridiculous, overly exposed escapee from the nether regions. (like a somewhat overweight woman in her mid 40s wearing hot pink, velvety short-shorts with matching tank top, neither piece within two sizes of her body, no underwear and every bump and ripple of her crotch and breasts as plain to see as if she were completely naked. I could tell how much pubic hair she had and not only see her nipples but also her areolas. That is TOO tight of clothing to wear at home, much less on a trip to get groceries)
Richard,
As the young people say to me, “Too much information, too much information!!!”
Thanks for the link, though.
I shop the nearby Wal-Mart Super Center at least twice a month, but it’s usually just me, a bunch of Russian Supermodels, and a few guys of Latino
descent gracing the aisles.
Richard,
I just came in from work and, darn it, Miss hot pink velvety shorts kept popping into my mind all day. Daytime nightmares!!! It must be the medicine I’m taking.
So sorry for letting you in on that mental image, Sam. It’s been a hard one for me to delete from my gray matter as well.
I agree with the Hungarian business director, you can always tell a Russian woman when abroad. I live in a diverse city in California with a heavy Russian and Ukrainian population, and find absolute delight in their ability to “overdress” for almost any occasion (the young women at least). I’m envious! My friends and I call them Svetkas (Aka Hot Russian girls). Most recently I was in Costco and could not take my eyes off of these two tall, long blonde haired girls in mini dresses, stilettos, and heavy fur coats, IN COSTCO!! of course they were Russian, and that’s a daily occurrence. I think it’s awesome. I love Russian woman! Even the frumpy babushkas with their hairy lips.
Hi Mona.. I also love it when Russian Women “overdress” for the occasion.
Certainly creates a bit of a stir doesn’t it?
As something of a champion for women, I am somewhat reluctant to share this article, but I think many of you will find it interesting. I have seen the same behavior exhibited by men, so I don’t think it is gender specific by any means. Nonetheless, it illustrates the bad side of human nature in a group of people living in a culture of advantage and opportunity.
http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/10/25/the-twisted-sisterhood-do-women-secretly-undermine-each-other/?a_dgi=aolshare_email
____________________
This is a very interesting article..
I say that because Men aren’t the only ones on the receiving end of petty, nasty and twisted behavior. I applaud this authors book and her courage for letting it all hang out.
Sadly Sam, you are right about this general behavior not being gender specific. It has however been my experience since teen years that the most hateful, vindictive and just simply hurtful actions witnessed by two or more people towards another was from the girls and women I’ve known. Most of my friendships in high school were with girls. Those friendships, as well as my guy friends, crossed all of the social segments of our small, Midwestern community. The main group was of about 8 to 10 girls that I either drove to school or took to sporting events or dated or whatever and it was very common for that crowd to pack into my car and start ragging about what some other girl or girls were doing and why they should be ‘put in their place’. I even had girls asking me to punch some other girl’s boyfriend so that they would have a chance to kick ass on the girl they didn’t like.
Probably obvious to people following this blog, I still have a great distrust for most women now. If a person watches a particular behavior manifested over many years and throughout many locales, it should be no surprise that there is a lasting image left by it all. What I am left with is trying very hard to ‘find’ the good in someone of the opposite sex rather than foolishly ‘assuming’ it is there.
Personal life experience is a more valid teacher than a thousand books and classes. In NA we have an epidemic of the attitude that Kelly Valen is speaking of. It isn’t completely new or unheard of, and I believe it is still very much on the increase.
Richard, I believe everything you say, regardless of my experience. When I read your comments, all I can say is if not for the luck of the draw, I would be in the same boat, I’m sure.
I see this type of behavior in males mostly when they call in to sports related talk shows and excoriate the character and/or performance of professional athletes or comment below newspaper articles recapping games. I always assumed that most of them were guys that overemphasized the importance and role of athletics in society, and were angry because they lacked the physical skills to participate. Undoubtedly, many couldn’t throw a football into the Atlantic Ocean from the beach. The difference is that professional athletes are highly paid, revered, and know that criticism comes with the territory. I understand that NFL orientation programs address the jealousy, envy and potential danger prevalent in society that professional athletes must navigate.
I am interested in knowing if readers of this blog have personal experiences similar to yours and Kelly’s. If this kind of behavior is prevalent, it needs to be addressed and rectified, as Kelly says.
You are sure right on the money about a lot of the armchair jocks in our society. Also the weekend warriors of that same crowd. Some take the ‘beer league’ games far too seriously, as if they were going to be ‘discovered’ by some pro scout that happens to drive by. So I guess they feel qualified to berate any pro that fails to live up to their expectations on any given weekend, as well as each other when they are pulling for different teams or players.
One thing that I always wondered about when I was young had to do with whether or not the sort of female behavior I saw in my small town was prevalent everywhere else. What I found after moving to the coast in the early 70s was that it was very much alive and well out here, too. Watching the young women that I ran with in the club scene while I was doing stand up and also around the sports bars where lots of my athlete friends hung out, I saw some real serious treachery and scheming going on. The women around there were always playing the little chess match to see who they could out-do for whatever tiny victories they could flaunt. It was brutal at times, but most of the men watched it all with an air of casual entertainment. I was most surprised that there was a lot less of that attitude among bikers and the gun show crowd which I also had pretty deep ties to.
Sam, I stopped reading when discovered what “ledge” was.
It’s very Anglo-Saxon I’d say to dig up dirt on someone and then gossip about it. Repulsive.
Hi, Kisha!
I was totally unfamiliar with the term “ledge” and the practice myself. I do like your response, though, and hope “ledging” is completely unheard of and completely unacceptable outside of NA.
My introduction to “sorority girls” as a university freshman was not positive, and my experience with their system and its participants did not improve in the ensuing years.
Here’s the link to Kelly’s original article in the NYT if anyone is interested: Modern Love: My Sorority Pledge? I Swore Off Sisterhood
Every time I read anythying like the article you’ve provided I can’t help thinking that regardless of decades of democracy, feminism, Christian upbringing and what not people still manage to treat each other like pieces of meat.
Judging by the endless amount of “college comedies” produced(where plot is built on a an ultimate loser, bullying, moronic brotherhood/sisterhood of alfa/beta/delta/gamma and the most popular girl/boy in school who could as well be made of plastic and you wouldn’t notice a difference ) it all kind of goes hand-in-hand with the culture…
You are so right Kisha. The countless generations seemed to have only come up with new ways to condemn, torment and abuse each other rather than ever finding out how to work together and lift each other up. Even on Christianity’s side, it seems the best we can come up with is the daily mantra, “But for the grace of God, there go I”.
Thanks for that article which is in many ways speaks truth of what is going on. It is true that men in the workforce live a dod eat dog world but I never got why women had to ever be like that to each other. Though both men and women can be backstabing etc. I would think a woman should be able to live more honestly and not go toward smearing people.
What a depressing article!
I don’t recognize that kind of behaviour from my own life at all. Well, yes, perhaps until the age of 12. Even then we all apologized (sincerely!) to each other in the end. Now I simply can’t imagine anyone I know behaving like that. Why would I say something hurtful about a friend? If I didn’t like them, they wouldn’t be my friend. And for the record, I’m probably the most insecure person I know, I have no idea what makes me valuable when I’m not perfect or leaving a mark on the world…
Sorry, I just remembered, I actually do know a woman like that. I have a sneaking feeling that my aunt probably would backstab me every chance she got.
Thanks to you all for responding. As I have said before, this site has been very educational, and I have you to thank for that.
Hazel, you have no reason to be insecure at all!!! According to the precepts of my faith, you are more valuable than all the assets of the world combined……..real estate, gold, minerals, etc., but faith aside, you are intelligent, interesting, creative, stylish, attractive and very personable. I consider you a friend, too. Plus, I expect to sing at your wedding!!!
Hazel,
I was thinking about your post all night. I could not understand why you would question the value that you bring to the world around you. Let me share my observations about you from the little contact we have in a venue like this.
You speak from your heart about the things you read here. That is a characteristic of someone who cares about others. Caring about people you don’t even know makes you compassionate and compassion is of great value.
You ask about the things that seem odd or peculiar to you rather than taking a stand with little or no understanding of the topic. That is a sign of intelligence and intelligent people are able to gain the respect of both friend and foe. That makes you interesting and desirable. This is also of great value.
Your writing suggests that you are generally respectful of others, always trying to show courtesy in conversation. That is a trait of a dignified person and dignity is becoming very rare in today’s world. It shows that you are willing to put your own interests aside when necessary for the sake of someone else without ever faltering on your own core beliefs. Dignity is probably the most valuable form of self respect.
I must, however, agree with you on one statement you’ve made because I’m reasonably sure that you are not perfect. Nor is any other person on the planet, so “Velkommen til denne vidunderlige virkelighed”.
(I hope I got that right)
Rest assured that we are ALL in the same boat on this voyage. Since perfection is completely unattainable, don’t waste any more of you thoughts or efforts on trying to reach it.
Also, I think that you are very pretty. Your smile is heartwarming and genuine. If anything translates well in a photograph, it is a person’s eyes and the depth of character which is revealed there. Your eyes betray a gentle and loving spirit, to me. I look at one of the photos I’ve seen of you and feel a bit jealous of every man who sits across from you to share a meal or a glass of wine.
Don’t worry about leaving a mark on the world. I believe that you already have. And what a beautiful mark it is.
Richard and Sam,
We have a saying in Danish that “Thank you is a poor word”. Obviously, it doesn’t translate very well into English, but it essentially means that such a simple phrase often fails to convey all the facets of what you would really like to say. And yet, what other ways are there to say it? So thank you for your incredibly kind and heartwarming words, they made me very happy!
You are very welcome Hazel. Your thoughts and comments are warm and refreshing.
By the way, I also really love some of the topics and images on your site.
After reading both of Kelly Valen’s articles, I am thinking I might try to find her book at a thrift store just to see how much of the information she’s compiled is similar to what she’s already said.
The first piece that Sam linked us to has a few key points that should ring true for nearly all of us who follow this site. As many previous feminists have written, Valen skirts the issue of ‘what went wrong’ with the movement.
Where most of these women still fall short is in acknowledging the fact that the basic movement was a sham which targeted them rather than a shining light to draw them out of darkness and oppression. They (and all other women) are now paying the price for being far too quick to condemn and tear down old social norms with only a clouded impression of what they would replace them with. Once the smoke cleared you hear statements like the somewhat famous 50 something, former feminist activist who said on a talk show, “My God, I was so caught up in it all that I forgot to have children”.
The articles are good reading as long as we maintain our discernment and avoid judgment. One thing that really hits home for me is the event which sparked Valen to go on with her writing about this stuff. The idea that a bright, normal, healthy teenage girl would kill herself over bullying by other girls in her social circle, staggers the mind. What a huge exclamation point to our modern existence. Sadly, it is not nearly as rare of an event as we might like to think. Children killing themselves with intent and forethought over being so grossly mistreated by their peers is alarmingly disturbing.
Looking at this and looking back to the original point of adding these other perspectives on womanhood to our discussion only serves to drive home the point that NA is a far less appealing place to seek female companionship with every passing day.
I really enjoyed this post!
It reminded me of a question which I completely forgot to ask…
I was looking at the pictures on this site, and was astonished at how many of the women have REALLY long hair. How do they grow it out so long while maintaining its health? Especially in such harsh weather. I have pretty long hair myself but want it longer and find it hard to keep up with (split-ends, dryness, etc.)
I understand that since this is a male-oriented site it’s not that big of an interest to most readers, but I think probably more (American) women visit this site than you can tell from the comments.
Thanks
The only thing I can add is that there is a distinct difference between the Russian women who have been living abroad for a long period of time, and those who haven’t. Sadly, in the United States I have seen “americanized” Russian ladies fail to take care of themselves (this goes for many other nationalities as well) and embody the feminist, crude attitudes of their American counterparts. It is difficult to describe, but the aura of sweetness and tranquility seems to disappear.
An example that comes to mind is a girl who I always thought to be crude once approached me from behind and slapped me across the face in front of a crowd of people as a joke. It was quite a hurtful thing to do. I tried to hold it together but left the dinner party early, shocked that my American “friends” had stayed silent and accepted a guest to be treated in that manner. The following day, I found out she was Russian born.
Catherine, I am really sorry about your experience. For what it’s worth, I was born in the US and have spent my whole life here, and I cannot imagine how publicly slapping someone could possibly be a “joke.” Then again, I’m considered old-fashioned!
As for your salsa club story, I used to be a devoted salsera. The only time I would see the behavior you describe (graphic sexual positions and gestures) is when dancers from LA or NYC would come — professional performers and their wannabe’s. Salsa is supposed to be flirty and sensual, but not graphic!
The topic of Russian women and beauty/fashion: Gotta echo the comments of the women quoted in the article. I love the femininity of Russian women, but the heavy makeup — they risk looking clownish.
I don’t see anything funny about slapping someone either, Catherine. I took the morning off and read extensively. I saw article after article that mentioned bad manners and poor behavior at shopping centers around the country. I don’t guess the lack of civility and “sweetness” we’re seeing is necessarily new, but it’s just as disgusting as ever. Women acting like redneck men is particularly troublesome. It will only change when we all demand more from children and neighbors. Poor behavior should never be tolerated for long.
Sam, I agree. The bad manners is something that, granted, is common to all countries. But at least there is some sort of social stigma attached to it outside US borders. Here, it is passively accepted-it is like there is no concept of acceptable physical boundaries.
The memory that perhaps stands out the most to me is going to a salsa club and observing the behavior of the local girls. This is the only country I have been to where simulating sexual positions on a dance floor with strangers is as casual as a handshake. Apparently it is not that unusual here?
Something really sad about all of that is we (in NA) have allowed this for so long now that it will be like trying to re-train a puppy not to pee on the carpet after letting him do it all his life.
What’s more, the overt sexuality you’ve seen on the dance floor goes down to PRE-TEENS now. One parent told me she thought it was “cute” that her 12 yr old daughter was making these humping actions while dancing. Another mother in attendance commented that it was good that the kids “didn’t really understand what they were doing” out there. Both divorced moms and both in their early 30s.
Casual rudeness, open disrespect, complete moral decay . . . . . and on, and on, and on.
Men may complain about Feminism but most men here do not want kids…
http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/
Usually reluctance is due to some common reasons. Not the-go-the-distance right person. Not financially secure enough to go for it. Sexual incompatibility or unfulfilled needs. Fear of making the wrong choice and paying emotionally and financially for a lifetime. Social, public evidence of men who were duped by women who pretended. Women who constantly talk about and obsess about money versus love and family. Power/control seeking. Complaining, denouncing. Lack of devotion, loyalty, emotional support, honesty. Social evidence of too much problematic behaviour amoung the children. These are some of the reasons that he doesn’t want them.
The man in the video has been deeply wounded. This is his way of responding to the greater world as to why and how it happened. Any real man can see that he has some serious relationship issues.
Some of the most successful family couples have this success due to an initial unmistakable “first greeting” regarding their life plan and intent.
Want a man who wants kids with “you”? Talk about it from the very beginning so he knows clearly what you want in your own life. Many women are reluctant to breach the topic until they’ve “hooked him”.
Don’t be afraid to let him know right away. If you scare him off; then guess what? He doesn’t want them.
As proof, I have a cousin who so much wants a child, that the most recent women in his life have feigned a pregnancy to hold him. Like a bee to honey until the pregnancy mysteriously didn’t manifest.
When a man clearly wants. When a woman clearly wants. This is a no-brainer.
Men are not the only ones who do not want, as this site clearly shows. I point again to the brief list at the top of my response.
Women have faked pregnancy to trap men for a very long time, probably for hundreds of years. Certainly this practice has curtailed greatly in the past few decades, but there are still women anxious enough to use that old ploy to this day. One possible benefit for some of us middle age’rs is that the gals who have been around as long as we have aren’t likely to use that as a trick. There are women I know having their first child after 40, which most doctors are opposed to, but for a woman simply looking to snare a husband, they need a different noose and plenty of other tactics still abound.
It is really astounding that women who were steadfast in demanding their “freedom” to get a man who bowed to their every whim and desire are now standing around alone and wondering what happened to their youth and their happiness. Yet these same women refuse to capitulate to the point of just admitting that they were wrong and that a life with some man is probably better than a life with no man.
I’ve said before that I think we are all capable of loving nearly anyone. Love is not a challenge, in and of itself. But when women let other women tell them what makes a real man, rather than going out and learning about men for themselves, they will never have all of the details it takes to make a good relationship with any guy, much less know how to love him.
If I wanted to buy a used car, I wouldn’t go to every person who has bought a lousy piece of junk and ask them how to pick a good car. And I would definitely not ask them to recommend the salesman who has sold them their lousy cars in the past.
I have learned infinitely more about women by having women friends than I have by listening to my divorced beer drinking buddies.
Watching the changes in women over the years has been an ongoing exercise in discovering new levels of sadness for me. When I see women my age trying to be philosophical about missing out on the dreams of their youth, they still try to convince me that it was worth it. Then an hour later when they are talking with their friends, I overhear their frustration over having woke up too late to get back in the game. They know it was an experiment which failed at their expense, but they have a very hard time acknowledging it. Then when us guys set our minds on looking elsewhere for love, those women feel that they are being dumped on while they’re already down. Well, it simply wasn’t our fault that they took the bad advice.
Liviananaa,
The link you’ve supplied here, as well as the other two you’ve added today, have me curious as to what message you are trying to send.
“Most men here do not want kids”. Where are you talking about? But more importantly, what does that have to do with the link to Dick Masterson on the Dr. Phil Show? I see no connection.
Obviously, Dick Masterson is an idiot who does NOT speak for men in general. He is a showboater at best who has found a shock value way of claiming his 15 minutes of fame.
What’s more, anyone who appears on Dr. Phil pretending to make any sort of rational statement about life has to be considered irrelevant. Dr. Phil is a fame addicted, man hating fraud who has made his living by being one of Oprah’s friends. Since Oprah is a completely self serving, self absorbed twit, neither her nor any of her little tag-a-long puppies like Dr. Phil bring anything of value to the table.
Where are the men who don’t want children? What social demographic are you talking about?
I’ve checked the other links from your comments today and really don’t get your position.
Are you outraged by adult children of the upper class in Russia getting away with murder? I am outraged by such things as well, but it happens exactly the same way in the US and Canada. Wealth and power bring certain protections, even though it is terribly wrong.
Are you a homosexual trying to lay some agenda on us because you feel that you are treated differently because of life choices you’ve made? Welcome to the real world there, too. This is the way it is around the planet. Whether it is right or wrong, reality has a funny way of being somewhat consistent in many areas of life. That’s just one of them. Certainly the idea that some wealthy Russian wants all homosexuals killed is absurd, to say the least, but where’s the connection to anything here?
Whatever you are trying to say, I look forward to hearing what it is.
I have recently married an amazingly beautiful Russian girl. What struck me is how rounded she is. Not only is she highly educated, but she has every attribute any successful man would want. However, I don’t think this is because she is Russian, but because she is perfect for me. I have been lucky in I have been blessed with good looks and intelligence (and no modesty!) and I have been out with many stunning women. However, my wife trumps all of these, because she is also a genuinely beautiful person whose beauty radiates outwards from within.
My wife tells me about Russian men being small minded, so drunk that they can’t manage to satisfy a woman and expect everything to be done for them. She has been fortunate to travel extensively and held a very high executive position and her parents were highly educated. Yet she still fell in with someone whom she stayed with for over 10 years hoping that he would change and when he didn’t she divorced him. It’s kind of sad, because I don’t think Russian men are any different to the majority of men around the world. I guess there are plenty of men in the UK or USA who exhibit the same moronic behaviour.The thing is, there are more stunning women in Russia than any other country and so competition for even the dough balls is probably quite strong. I am going with my wife to Russia and she has gone through my wardrobe and told me what to take and what not to take and it has nothing to do with the cold. It’s to do with her showing off her “amazing, sexy, gorgeous husband” (her words not mine) to her friends and family but also to other women in Moscow.
I’m not looking forward to engaging with RUssian men after the stories I’ve heard and the ones I’ve met and not speaking what must be the most ridiculously hard language in the world, won’t help.
Hi Gez, Thanks for a great share and congratulations on your awesome marriage.
I certainly know how you feel.
Looking forward to hearing more of your insights as well.
Dear Gez,
Congratulations on your wonderful marriage to a wonderful woman, who thinks she has got a right to generalize over the whole male population of Russian fed. Unfortunately, that happens quite often with the ones who marry abroad and they are the ones who try so hard to perpetuate those ridiculous steriotypes.
However, you if you engaged with some Russian men you would heard another side of the story. Then you would learn that some Russian women are vain, money hungry and bossy.