54 year old Mel Gibson and his 39 year old Russian Lady, Oksana Grigorieva
Clearly there are many obvious reasons behind this.
However there now seems to be a real evolutionary purpose as to why our instincts work in the way they do.
And perhaps this is the most important reason of all because…
Our genes naturally drive us Men towards younger women in order to promote a LONGER life.
Now i’m sure subconsciously we all realize this.
Because as a friend of mine once said.
“Being with a young and beautiful woman forces you to stay young yourself.”
(And give the night and day physical differences I’ve seen in him because of his relationship I’d have to concur.)
I think its pretty clear that if we Men are emotionally thrilled with our love life then all sorts of positive changes will naturally happen to rejuvinate our mind, body and soul.
This is a wonderful thing indeed.
And I can happily personally vouch for it too.
Any of you Gentlemen out there in a similar situation care to chime in?
In the meantime check this very enlightening article out.
Men told secret to a longer life is marrying a younger woman but wives with toyboy husbands are MORE likely to die early
By DAILY MAIL REPORTER
Eating healthily and doing the odd bit of exercise are well known to keep a chap fit, healthy and hopefully improve his life expectancy.
But now men can add a younger wife to the equation.
Males who marry younger women are more likely to live longer, according to the biggest ever study of population statistics.
But sorry ladies, the same does not apply to women with younger husbands.
The study found that if a man marries a woman who is between 15 and 17 years their junior then his chances of dying at an early age is cut by a fifth.
Even those who tied the knot with a woman seven to nine years younger were 11 per cent more likely to live longer.
The study carried out by Germany’s Max Planck Institute also revealed that men who marry older women are 11 per cent more likely to die early.
And it’s not good news for the older woman with a toyboy either as the results suggest wives with husbands older or younger by between seven and nine years increase their chances of dying early by 20 per cent.
This rises to 30 per cent if the age difference is close to 15 and 17 years.
Scientists say the figures may be the result of natural selection that mean only the healthiest, most successful older men are able to attract younger mates.
‘Another theory is that a younger woman will care for a man better and therefore he will live longer,’ said spokesman Sven Drefahl at the institute’s headquarters in Rostock, Germany.
The study examined all deaths between 1990 and 2005 for the entire population of Denmark.
(you can read the original article here)
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Two interesting experiences in visiting a local Russian-speaking church!
I have visited the Russian-speaking church 5 times in about the last month. It is not Orthodox; it is some kind of Pentecostal.
The interesting items in the first several visits (5 so far) are as follows:
1) I’ve been to several dozens of different churches in my life. Nearly all of them are theologically conservative to some measure; what was striking about visiting this Russian church was that 10 to 20% of the girls and women dressed in a way that made them look attractive and in which I have never seen on women in church for at least 20 years– perhaps never. The “dressing up” included for some of them wearing skirts or dresses above the knee, which I almost never ever see where I go to church (less than a handful of times in my life); and for a young girl, on my day of first visit to this church, her dressing up included wearing a somewhat short and partly see-thru skirt or dress over a slip or more opaque underlayer or something. Whether it was the shorter skirts or partly the see-thru one, I’ve never seen women in such clothing in “my” kind of church. And I liked and enjoyed the experience of seeing them, and it actually led me to go back to the church a few more times. (The first visit was to request prayer for a Russian speaking friend.) Now I like the church for other additional reasons and am visiting somewhat regularly and would probably continue whether the skirts were high or low. But seeing the women and girls was decisive for the 2nd and 3rd visits, because I thought it would be a fun experience to see them. And the preaching is in Russian, which I don’t understand.
2) On a Wednesday night church service visit–my most recent visit–I was getting to know and being introduced to a family: husband, wife and their young adult-aged daughter. I had hugged the dad, and when introduced to the mom, had also hugged the mom. When the daughter came over and was introduced, I stood in the gesture of offering to hug.
The daughter sees the gesture and is drawn in as if to hug and stops with her bod an inch away from mine! And, there, she and I hug by embracing with the arms or patting the back of the other with our hands, and she withdraws, and then we shake hands.
What was really nice about this was that, as some people do who are not comfortable with hugging, she could simply have declined by ignoring my gesture or sharking her head or something else. Instead, she was nice to me and accommodated me by coming in. Not sure how subsequent visits to the church and subsequent offers to hug Diana will proceed . . .
OF course, a man feels much fresher and full of energy with a young lady! I remember one old man told me that he felt 30 years old younger after just talking to me… =D
“wives with toyboy husbands are MORE likely to die early” – I am not surprised.
What a toyboy husband can give a woman? Extra headaches, anxiety, and fit of jealousy!
Only very skillful woman can excel youth. I call it art and magic!
My man is 7 years older than me.
This is interesting.
Mine is 3 months older … does that count?
mine is older.. but i wish he was younger.. it would be better .. that way, for FAMILY..
no one wants a widow.. do we ?
olga mishra
Olga, I checked out your site. Mr. Mishra looks hale and hearty, so I think he will hang in there with you for a long, long time.
Darn, Sophie, your man robbed the cradle didn’t he?
It’s funny how the release of those findings from that 15 year study has turned my inbox into a dumping ground this week. Friends who have given me a tough time about my belief that men should always marry younger are now saying, “How much money did you contribute to that study” and “I’ll bet you had something to do with this” along with many other choice commentaries. I guess for most of them, they are telling me that I was right without coming out and saying it in so many words.
But suppose we look at the reality of the modern dating world and see the difference between middle aged guys and middle aged gals who are single and trying to find younger “friends”.
The guy has had all of the running and playing for a long time but now wants a more even keeled (but still vibrant) relationship. The younger woman attracted to such a man is generally mature, conservative and looking for stability. She is more than willing to satisfy her man in exchange for the likelihood that he won’t wander off after the first cute tooshie that walks by.
On the other hand, take a middle aged woman who feels that she’s lost out on her ‘best years’ because of choices she made early on and now is hoping to cash in on a boytoy to satisfy her physically and to look good in front of her friends. The boytoy is taking advantage of a situation and is probably not planning to make it a permanent relationship so he sacrifices image for rewards.
Looking at both scenarios it doesn’t take a decade and a half of mortality statistics to see who will ultimately be the beneficiaries of each.
Men gain a partner who is growing in her nurturing phase and he reaps that treatment as a byproduct of the whole relationship, as does his younger lady.
Women get the play time that was promised to them by the feminist agenda “at any age” but it is short lived and unfulfilling as the boy sees options all around. She ages faster, loses her excitement for life as well as her ability to stay in the game.
It all makes sense to me.
I have a friend who was a career bachelor until he was 50 when he married a woman who was 65. He was smart but transient and worked odd jobs. On the other hand she had a home that was paid for and was retired. I presume he was looking for more of a mother figure and wanted her to take care of him. They’ve been married 9 years and seem to be happy. I’m not recommending this but I have seen these relationships work.
Anything is possible and where love is concerned, it gets even harder to predict. I’m certainly happy for them and hopeful that it will last for them. Any formula that brings a loving relationship that lasts has my best wishes.
Well, I personaly would want a man to be older then me. Maybe a man in his middel thirties or early fourties? I am in my late twenties but alot of people are suprised because they though I was a good amount younger than that. Even Asian people have been suprised about my age. It should be noted that alot of Chinese women and some other Asian women look alot younger then what thier age is.
What about late 40s?
)
I’ll be 45 August 13th.
Any ladies interested?
I’m 27…so does that mean I should be picking up high school girls? And I won’t be able to meet a girl who’s 27 until I’m 45? Lol
No, it just means you should be in no hurry to get married.
i just read and article http://www.inauka.ru/curioz/article92785.html
saying the same!
However I know that a happy marrieage of people of the same age is not only possible but also leads to a longer life!
Women’s Youth is not a key for happy marriage!
What do you mean by that?
There is no connection between youth and happy marriage!!
Agreed.
Anyone can be happily married.
But I certainly won’t challenge stsistics on some things and everything I’ve seen throughout my life, up to and including this most recently completed study, would indicate that there is a greater chance for long life when the marriage is between an older man and a younger woman. Be it 5 years, 10 years or 15 years, it still seems a key for a long life.
Whether or not all of these people are happy the whole time wasn’t specified, that I recall.
That’s why I also say age may not equal happiness.
The key for happy marriage is the skills of a wife, i.g. how she manage herself, her husband, and family.
But this kind of women are rarity in our world….
Shame they don’t say anything about the life expectancy for those women who married older men.
When CNN reported the findings of the study, they actually did say that the younger women in those marriages increased their life expectancy, as well. Of all of the categories mentioned in the findings, it was only older women marrying significantly younger men who were seeing shorter lives. I don’t know for sure why the numbers fell the way they did, but it is a good study to pay attention to because of the inordinate length and depth of the work that was done. It is by far the longest and most detailed study of its type ever undertaken. Even considering geographic and cultural variations it still has some very resounding figures.
Thanks, Richard. There was nothing about it in the article so I had to ask.
Always knew it was best to go for the younger ladies
They keep you active . and really …. keep the blood flowing 
8 out of 10 women by the time they are 30 are no longer cooking with virgin olive oil. Some for good reason i.e. they are married and the 2 of the 10 who do (cook with virgin olive oil) are either holding a vow of chastity or pure ugly. For most others the recipe is the same – experiment through your twenties having “fun” with Mr. Rightnow with failed relationships, children out of wedlock and STD’s then put on a WHITE? wedding dress and settle down temporarily with Mr. Alimony. Feminists want to have the same liberty as whoremongers but does this practice truly liberate? Why is the standard so low? The answer is how one defines freedom. Is freedom a path FROM or TO sin? When a feminist icon was asked why she posed nude for a magazine, her answer was feminism isn’t about virtue and from my perspective this isn’t freedom at all – this is slavery. This is why I desire a younger woman who has avoided years of indiscretion and understands freedom.
-Mick
Though it’s pretty disgusting, there is an article at NPR.com called “Sex Without Intimacy: No Dating, No Relationships” by Brenda Wilson. As far as human nature and human behavior is concerned, there is really nothing new under the sun, and sexual promiscuity is as old as we are. But it is demoralizing to see women proudly assuming the traditional role of male philanderer. If that is liberation, then count me a knuckle-dragging moralist. I’ll share a quote from the article: “Going out on a date is a sort of ironic, obsolete, type of thing,” says Elizabeth Welsh, who graduated from college in 2005, and now lives in Boston. She says that among her friends, dating is a joke. “Going out on a date to dinner, and a movie? It’s so cliche–isn’t that funny?” In place of relationships based on love, trust, and mutual respect, the article suggests that people are “hooking-up” for sex and nothing more. Have we come a long way or is degeneration alive and well? As far as I am concerned, sex outside a loving, committed relationship(hopefully marriage) is nothing more than another selfish, superficial act that brings on all the attendant misery and loneliness epidemic in American society.
With all of that said, isn’t it funny that these ‘liberated’ feminists still say that ‘real men’ no longer exist and if they did, they would be unwilling to make a commitment. What exactly does a ‘commitment’ to a one night stand look like? Staying for breakfast?
Here’s a statement on modern morals. When I was a hormone driven teenager, we thought that oral sex was something that only happened in X-rated movies. Now it is normal for NA high school girls to attend oral sex parties. They don’t believe that it is really sex and they don’t worry about STDs or their reputations. We can thank the ‘liberated’ woman’s movement for that attitude.
I recently read a report on teenagers and their general knowledge of sex. The results were so pitiful as to be quite hilarious. One comment from a doctor involved in the survey was, “It’s scary how little these kids know after decades of Sex Education in our schools”. But the scary part to me was the number of sexually active kids between 13 and 19. While NA is now home to possibly the most promiscuous generation of teens in history, they are also the least knowledgeable about their sexuality. What sort of adults will they become?
To be honest, I’m a bit worried about who will be taking care of me in my declining years.
There is indeed nothing new under the sun and without a change of heart policing morality is futile. I’ve heard great things about sex and hope to one day acquire some for myself. Marrying a virgin is my personal preference and I’m prepared to wait. I can’t even share a drinking glass let alone bear the grotesque thought of going where others have gone before. It’s not all about the physical aspect either. There are many transgressions in this world that are best left unknown. I am certain that Amanda Knox, who was out experimenting with the boundaries of sin, would give anything to gain back her age of innocence. Access to the concessions of sin is not freeing – it is consuming.
I don’t get this. Every time I see a man with a woman that much younger looking than him, I frequently mistake the couple for father and daughter. I think older men (and women) need to read the Emporer’s New Clothes.
I understand what you are saying, but here’s one man’s perspective.
I am mid fifties and a single dad with a 9 1/2 year old daughter. I am often meeting women over 40 who are into seeing their grandkids a few times a month but other than that are not very interested in kids.
Looking at a wish list for a single woman my age is like looking at an encyclopedia of what women don’t want out of life and that is all pretty much who and what I am.
On the other hand, I relate much better with ladies between 30 and 40 so that’s where my friendships are developing. The last date I was on was with a charming 28 year old who has never been married or had children. We had a wonderful time and we have common goals and desires.
Should we not pursue a relationship because it looks weird to somebody else?
Since I’ve never cared much about what others think of my choices, I’m not going to start now, and I think that’s what many people here are feeling, too. To each their own, right?
Marie,
My late father was born in 1917, and my mom in 1932. They had a great marriage, produced five kids and sent them all to college/universities. Though my mom is now a widow, and has been for several years, she would marry the same man again in a heartbeat. I could give you a dozen more examples. The point is that, despite some practical considerations, an age gap is of less importance than people would lead you to believe, and often is a real positive.
good for you Richard–I too am in a relationship with a younger woman – 28 years younger to be exact. She is of Ukrainian descent and it has been the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m sorry to all the women my age that I am not interested in – maybe you need to find someone older than me. We also have common goals and desires, and couldn’t care less about what society thinks of us. The American divorce rate is north of 50% (and i’m guessing that most of those marriages are among “normal age range” couoples, so marrying in your age range has nothing to do with success!
Will I die before her? probably – we have discussed it and have come up with a financial plan to protect her. I agree there is an elevated risk to the younger participant, but if you both acknowledge the issues and work through them together – it can work.
To each his/her own – exactly !!
I would rather be alone than to have a younger wife. Only men with complex, who dont understand anything – marry younger women! They will be unfathfull! they are unreliable! dont you understand it? they only want your money and your moneysupport for her future children ! The best for a man is a wife who is at sam age or older !
the most stupid thing a man can do is to marry a younger wife !
I wish you luck.
If a man can offer only money to a woman (any age), it is not a problem of woman…
I’m don’t think it is a matter of what the man has to offer but rather that most young western women are only after the money, not a true, loving relationship. The man can offer much more and still become the victim of shrewd, young gold diggers. At least that is the reality in NA.
(pardon my typo, I meant to say “I don’t”, not I’m don’t)
Romeo,
Please don’t limit yourself. Fine women with honorable goals live everywhere, many here in the States. I know several women who would take a bullet before they violated the trust of their husbands and children. Many single women (and men)are looking for spouses who will treat them with dignity, and respect, and are anxious to form true partnerships. I know countless couples here in my county who started out penniless, but by working in concert were able to do quite well financially and otherwise in due time. You are painting with a broad brush with your statements, and, fortunately, you are wrong about many men and women.
Interesting convo here.
She is 20 years younger than I am. We treat each other as equal. We are both intelligent, wise, loving and respectful. I am Mels age, just turned 55 and she is 35. We get compliments every time we go out in public. Perhaps I look some 5-10 years younger compared to my friends the same age. She also looks younger than her 35 years. Neither of us cares what other people think and won’t let it get to us. We are happy in love and doing fine. Will it last? God only knows. We are both divorced and starting our lives over again with very little finances. She is not a gold digger and knows well that there is no gold to dig for here. If she was digging, she would have left long ago. She was looking for real love, respect where she feels her man will not control her. She is free to be herself and not a doormat, not a slave nor bird in a golden cage to be toyed with. She is a giver, not a taker and she found a man who is the same as her in many ways. It can work. My dad married a woman 30 years younger and it lasted till his death 27 years later. Time will tell.
M.
Hello, Michael. I thoroughly enjoyed your post. Your honest appraisal of things, and the details you shared are helpful. Very helpful.
Ok, I’ve trolled this blogsite long enough. I suppose it’s time for me to chime in.
To be honest, I would have rather had a discussion on one of the other older topic headings, but as they are (some anyway) approaching 2008 as their last activity date, I suppose this one will do.
First, the boring details. I am in my late 30′s, caucasian male, no kids, and recently divorced from a stunningly beautiful Ukrainian woman. We were married 3 years.
She was 10 years my junior, and beyond that, she was so perfectly designed by God that she appeared 5 years younger than her actual age.
After several multi-year girlfriend/live-in-gonna-get-married-one-of-these-days situations, I just got fed up with my cirumstances and decided to start looking for someone online. At the time, I worked 60-70 hours a week, 6-7 days a week and since I did there was very little time for me to socialize outside of work and family life. Of course, initially it was the usual: match.com (home of the Whopper™), yahoopersonals (lol) , adultfriendfinder (great if you’re the type looking for a prostitute but nothint else), etc. In total, I spent hundreds of dollars on subscription fees, wrote endless profiles, answered tons of ridiculous questions and even had some pictures made that I could upload so I looked my best.
In the end, what was the result? Unbridled frustration.
In all the months I searched online, every person who possessed a combination of personality, physical traits and (of course) geographic proximity who I emailed had a consistent and echoing reply:
(Requisite pause for the cricket noise to play in the background as the stage goes silent.)
I was going nuts. I mean, honestly, I was 32 years old, nearly 6′ tall, in reasonable shape for a person who was strapped to a desk 10 hours a day, made 100k+ a year, had all my hair (still do and it’s not gray), my teeth were straight, and did’t have any foul odors that I was aware of emanating from my personage… I was just so damned pissed off you have no idea. What was so wrong with me that literally NO ONE that I sent an introductory email to would even REPLY to me?
The frustration level reached a boiling point. I decided that I was just doing something wrong. I went to some search engine–probably google–and started trying to find maybe another online dating service that was perhaps the “hidden secret” that maybe only the good women subscribed to, and was perhaps reserved for the really serious and worthwhile people.
I don’t know what came over me at that moment, but something which had ordinarily always made me chuckle at the “mail order bride” sites caught my attention, and I started reading. Then I read some more. Then I started browsing just out of pure intellectual curiosity at some of the candidates in the age, height, weight range (hell they even let you choose kids/no kids, married/divorced/widowed, religion, etc).
Six weeks later I had purchased airfare to Kiev.
A week after that I was engaged.
Seven months after that I was carrying my dream wife, the sweetest woman I had ever met across the threshold and helping her learn English.
For months I coaxed her through her adjustment period, all the crying nights missing family and friends. The drunken tantrums as I came home in the evening late from working all night to find that my sweet, lovely bride who I was so enamored with was in tears and on the brink of collapse mentally.
This woman held a law degree in her home country, was a Ukrainian master gymnast, and an amazingly fun girl to be with. She was able to turn my mood good or bad with just a facial expression.
Soon after she arrived and finished all the stateside paperwork I got her driving lessons and it was not long until she had her very own drivers license and of course, a nice new Toyota key on her keychain.
She needed to learn English, and I helped as best I could. I sent her to University ESL programs, public night school ESL courses, and always tried my best to help her learn the language.
Finally, she was not crying at night anymore. I did not come home to a drunken wife with tearfilled eyes who pleaded with me to help her.
Instead, after a couple of years, what I became more and more accustomed to was coming home to an empty house. No note. No phone call. No courtesy whatsoever.
My sweet angel who I had grown to love and feel so much tenderness for had used me. She used me to gain access to the country. She used me to learn to drive, get a permanent resident visa, and learn the language. Her English is now quite good. She got a job as a model for a company that sent her all over the country. That was her first job in America, and all during our marriage we had an open financial system. She had an ATM card to our only bank account, a pin code, and absolute freedom to get anything she needed. My only request was ever that she just let me know if she bought something expensive so I could manage the finances appropriately. I was not about to tell my wife who I loved and respected that she had an “allowance” or some other nonsense.
Unfortunately, when she started to make income her outlook was quite different. She (unbeknowst to me) opened a checking account at a different bank and hid that fact from me until I happened to check the mail and find a bank statement with her name on it. I had asked about her company that she was working for, and was getting quite irritated with them for dragging their feet in getting her first paycheck to her. Apparently, they were having no such issues, and were paying her via wire transfer on time, and in quite large sums. She came home after one trip to New York during the MTV VMA’s wearing a $15,000 Jacob the Jeweler watch. The exact same kind worn by Paris Hilton. She said it was a birthday present from her boss.
Soon afterwards she began sleeping downstairs on the couch.
Soon after that we were making plans for our divorce.
I am not going to say that I was an angel or that I was somehow a hapless victim and had no blame to share in the marriage. However, I will say that I was never dishonest with my wife, and I never cheated, nor did I give her cause to think that I was anything but faithful and concerned about her as both a person and as a wife.
The point to my story is this for all of you out there who are seeking refuge in the Russian wife arena.
Be careful.
If I could wave a magic wand above a crystal ball I would tell you what to look for, but we can never know that for ourselves until it is too late.
My only suggestion would be this after looking back at my relationship these past two years: listen to your gut. If your instinct tells you something is amiss, then it probably is. We in America are the worlds best natural lie detectors. We are trained by Hollywood, and through our observations of subtletlies in facial and tonal changes. Don’t ignore your gut, trust it.
In looking back, I knew within the first 6 months of our marriage that there was something amiss. Something not quite right. If I would have just listened to my gut I could have saved myself years of wasted time, wasted on a woman who had nothing but deceitful intentions from the onset of our relationship.
By definition, marriages to foreign women must be done using only quick decisions. We do not have the luxury of a long courtship to learn the ins and outs of a person. And above all, unless we’re bi-lingual Russian speakers, we have to rely upon the interpretation of a translator at the early stages of a relationship to know what is really being said.
My best advice to anyone seeking a Russian/Ukrainian wife is this–and yes, I’m not against the idea again for myself especially knowing what I know now–learn the freaking language. Take courses at your community college, buy “Russian Course” at Borders/B.Dalton (it’s black and it’s the best self-study Russian book I’ve ever found).
As I write this letter, I have been speaking Russian since I first went to Ukraine in 2003. I started with some CD’s that taught me basic survival phrases and numbers, etc. But it was not until last year, after I had already been divorced a year, that I took formal language training at the University level.
Next year I will be spending an academic year in St. Petersburg Polytechnic University in their language program. I am not going there with the intention of finding a wife, but in the land of Russia anything can happen. I am not going to have to decide to do something in a week, and not going to have to rely upon someone else’s determination about what it is that someone who I might decide to have for my wife is REALLY saying to me as she sits across from the table in a Cafe somewhere.
Yes, I had a lot to say, and I hope you didn’t mind reading my story. It felt good to finally say to someone, even anonymously.
Best Wishes.
I absolutely did not mind reading your story. I am sorry that you had such a bad experience, but grateful for all the information you shared. Please keep us posted on your studies, and your experiences abroad.
Thank you for your story.
Rather a sad experience leaving an uneasy air…
You know,there are always women of the kind who want to get better lives by all means.Same as men do…
No matter Russian or Ukrainian or any other nationality.
Personally I don’t want to move to the US where my lover lives.
People are different.
You seem a smart person.
Pls hold on and wish you luck in finding your happiness in the life.And love.
Best wishes from Russia
thanks buddy for sharing your story, perhaps it helps me in analizing the comunication with my beautifull russian lady friend, on the verge of falling in love with her.
Very good article as usual!
Melina x
I really love your website, I found it through google and have been reading it since.
This is not in particular to Mel Gibson post but I feel compelled to bring this up. You have beautiful ladies pictures on your site, and I do agree Russian/ Eastern European women are GORGEOUS, its rare to find and ugly one
But you only post photos of very young women in their early twenties. I would love to see the variety of women in all ages. Honestly from experience, although many russian woman are soooo beautiful in their twenties, they rarely age as well as women in Medeterainian cultures.
How about showing women in their 30′s, 40′s and beyond. I see they usually go down hill in their 40′s….
Im curious. Im not trying to be mean, its an observation.
By the way, I am a women in my 30′s living in USA originally from Eastern Europe married to Russian man.
Well Selma, if you think Russian women are the only ones who go downhill fast in their 40′s guess again. I’ve met a few around my age and they fooled me into thinking they were much younger than me. It’s very true among American women many decline drastically after 40, and some groups of people decline even faster. Maybe they are especially prone to be hard drinkers, heavy smokers and into all sorts of behaviors that make people age faster than they otherwise would be. Or they simply age faster due to genetics. Down here in the South, people spend so much time in the Sun, they can look like a well worn naugahyde sofa by the time they’re 30. The fact that many women in the U.S. have to have more tatoos than a squad of devil dog U.S. Marines doesn’t help either.
Taras
Slav by heritage, American by birth.
Actually, Taras, your right. It has a lot to do with the lifestyle, if they were “party girls” or not, “sunworshipers” or not. Thats a really great point.
American women, as lovely as many of them are, have horrible aging. Many seem to just give up or something like that, I dont know… I would still like to see Russian women represented on the blog in different ages, if really Russian is the way to go, then why not show Russian women married with children as well… THe girls on this site are comparable in beauty with all young twenty somethings all over the world.
Its not harder to be beautiful when you have a household to take care of, children and a husband to tend to. THEN when I see a gorgeous mother and wife, then I am impressed. 20 year old students are just as beautiful in many countries… Go to Italy, young fashionable, fit, and beautiful women everywhere…. that can be said in other countries too… It just doesnt work for me to keep posting pictures of such young girls and saying LOOK AT ALL THE BEAUTIFUL RUSSIANS>
Dear Selma,
Do you know what r the words of any foreigner to a Russian woman “What r u-Russians fed with?” ?
LOL
Do you understand?
Trust pls,
we have neither less problems then you do,nor less pain then you bear.
My Mom is 68,worked hard all her life and still does ,5 years ago we lost my brother…You should only see her eyes…her face is just like from the icons…
People think my elder is my sister.
I have a secret…It is a simple one and here it is-sharing with alot of pleasure: Iam trying to treat everyone the way I want to b treated. Those r not just words.It works.
Hugging you sincerely
I mean it is harder to be “beautiful” when you have family and home to take care of…
Persian girls are gorgeous in my opinion too, and if you go to Iran you will be flabergasted by all of the beauties:
http://mywomen.blogspot.com/2006/04/persian-iran-girls.html
While one can be beautiful on the outside, real beauty comes from within. I think that is a major reason why some people age well, and others do not. Mel Gibson’s girlfriend is a case in point. I’ve seen women a decade younger look older than her, maybe because they have the dreadful permafrown. Sometimes a smile can wipe years away. For a 40-year old, she puts a lot of American women her age to shame.
Taras
Sorry to keep posting, but here is another notable website of REGULAR Iranians:
http://www.skyscrapercity.com/showthread.php?s=2b79b08ac1af010276123402792adf4d&t=675568&page=85
selma,
While I appreciate what you are saying about young ladies being beautiful just about everywhere, the links you’ve posted look like pretty much all professional models in images captured by professional photographers.
I’m also one of the people that would like to see more age diversity but it may be that we will need to find those images on other sites.
Yes, you are right, the first one is professional models, but the second site is pretty much regular people.
It’s pretty hard to categorize American women when one gets out and takes a look around here in the States. While jogging at the local community college in my small town last week, I tried to be a little more observational than usual. Over five miles worth of laps, I saw women that appeared to be recent immigrants from India, Latinos, African-Americans,and women with the usual European features. Some had aged nicely, and some, like I, appeared to have been ridden hard and put up wet. Some were friendly, spoke and smiled, and some looked at me like I was the neighborhood axe murderer. In fact, I jogged along next to one fair-complected woman of perhaps thirty-five, and within a quarter mile, she abruptly left the usual course, and fled like a gazelle across a shortcut. Some young women raced me for a few short steps, laughed and returned to their friends and family, and, thank the Lord, one heavy set young woman said something about me looking good. Bless her heart, I say. America, my friends, is a melting pot. Your country may be, too, but I can’t speak about what I don’t know. I will be 49-years-old next month, and I have learned that if I look for the good in people, that I will find it. I have also learned that I have the same problem that everyone else has, and that is that if my heart is not right, chances are I will be part of the problem. Because as the wise say, “The heart of the problem is the problem of the heart.”
Wonderful observations Sam, and really well said. Especially the part about ‘the heart’.
Very insightful Sam. It really does come down to the heart and people’s attitudes towards others when we talk about real beauty in a person.
When I tell people that I could possibly meet and fall in love with a woman from another country, they all seem to think I believe there is something wrong with American women. In fact, I have met a good number of amazing American women, and I am only in my mid 20s. The downside is that most of these women are either married, engaged, or swear they belong to someone! Even saying that, though, I know a few girls in their early 20s who are not just very pretty, but highly intelligent and really kind to others. They do have boyfriends, but you get the point.
So, to me, it is not about a group of people (or women) being “better” than the others, but that good people in general have similar characteristics that make them more desirable. If I happen to find that in a Russian or Ukrainian woman, then that is great! But being a good person is not inherent to one specific group or another. Because, in reality, as we all know, external beauty fades. But what keeps a marriage lasting forever is the loving heart contained within.
And, perhaps, like Sam suggested, it is this loving heart that is the real “fountain of youth.”
very true.
being in my mid 30 I could never say better then you in ur mid 20.
thank you
These women (models from selma) are bodily beautiful but I highly doubt they would make good wives and mothers. Physical beauty is vain and fleeting. Truthfully, as men age they start to look like Sean Connery and as women age, they also start to look like Sean Connery. Show ponies are something to behold. However, when they get older, if the only thing they HAD to offer was good looks, they become useless eaters and it’s time to make a trip to the glue factory. What keeps a couple together when beauty fades?
Your posting made me smile big.
Nice sense of humour.Even if you were not intended.
Mick,
I’m sure your closing question was a rhetorical one but the pitiful truth is that many modern marriages are based entirely on looks and image. So we know what happens once the looks are gone. The marriage is pushed in the rubbish with yesterday’s coffee grounds. If any of the younger readers can take even one serious conclusion from all of this, it might be that for every young lady who looks like a fashion model, there are a hundred more average looking women who likely possess boring little characteristics like loyalty, respect, intellect and a kind heart. One might think that the choice would be a no-brainer, but we all know differently.
Loyalty, respect, intellect and a kind heart are being bred out of the population here Richard from what I can see. They’re being replaced with treachery, ignorance, disrespect and narcissism, which hardly encourage the formation of stable families. Indeed, they breed chaos, conflict and violence that is getting worse daily here in the U.S.
Taras
You are exactly right, which is one reason that I am so astounded by NA guys in their 20s chasing after these pretty little Bambi types, with their petty, little self absorbed lives. It’s as if they think that they are ‘man enough’ to make these snotty, arrogant NA princesses mysteriously transform into good, little wives and mothers. Guess what men . . . . . . . . IT WON’T HAPPEN.
It’s as Taras says, the characteristics you are looking for have been bred out of the girls here. Hang out in all of the nightclubs and beachside bars you like but those wanna-be glamour girls will NEVER be of any lasting value in your life.
I know it’s true. Every man over 40 knows it’s true. Trust the experience of others so that you won’t need to lose everything for yourself in order to gain the knowledge that already exists.
You simply reduce your odds and opportunities the longer you continue to think that what you’re looking for can be found here in any real numbers.
And let’s face it, if good wives and mothers were found in clubs and bars, WE WOULD ALL KNOW IT BY NOW. You wouldn’t walk through an apple orchard looking for peaches, would you?
I was one of them myself Richard, but by the age of 35 I was no longer any woman’s fool. I can barely stand being around many of them, and an icy look is enough to make them leave me in peace. When it comes to NA women, it’s all about “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” They’ve cheapened themselves to the level of prostitutes at best, and prostitutes by definition are incapable of being wives and mothers. That is why even many younger men, who are really little better than many NA women “pump and dump” them.
Taras
Here is a question I thought of that might spark some interesting discussion, relating to the topic of younger women:
What is your opinion of young women (usually 25 and younger) who post profiles on international dating websites with pictures of themselves in bikinis or otherwise “scantily clad?” Do you believe these girls to be serious in their search for a life partner?
Here’s my two cents worth. No matter how mature the claim may be, a girl of 18 to 25 years has no more clear understanding of a serious life commitment than anyone else at that age. A man who thinks he has it all figured out by then is also pretty much wrong. That includes me at that age and every other person I have ever met with only a tiny handful of exceptions. By the age of 25 most of us have attitude which is unsupported by experience. That’s no insult to anyone; it’s just how life works.
But for the sake of this thread, remember what it is we are claiming to seek; traditional values, maturity, respectfulness, honesty, gentle heart, and so on. Speaking strictly of NA girls and young women, they have had almost no opportunity to learn about the characteristics we are looking for. If they are posting images with a lot of skin to play on your natural male instincts, what makes you think they could possibly possess, or even understand, the value of relationship you would want to be involved in?
Historically, even in the most conservative of times, teases were out there in abundance. In today’s society where young women are being taught college classes on how to marry and divorce for profit, can you imagine these little tarts having even a sliver of a thought regarding how to be a supportive wife and loving mother? Even if they are using such ploys in a pseudo-serious (albeit misguided) attempt to ‘land a man’, you would have to conclude that they are never going to be able to fulfill their obligations to family for any length of time.
The girls you are talking about don’t know what ‘serious’ is but if they are seriously (in their minds) trying to find a life partner, I wish them all the luck in the world. Any ‘real’ man with any ‘real’ intentions of finding a mate wouldn’t even stop to check those girls out.
Open Arms,
GL and some of his female friends are more qualified to respond to your question than I, but I will share my personal experience.
A couple of years ago I began corresponding with several women from Russia, Ukraine,Latvia,and Moldova. I met all of them via a multitude of sites, and they all had posted pictures of themselves dressed in bikinis. Judging from what they wrote over a number of months, I would describe the majority of them as modest and conservative. I have queried natives of that region and a couple of guys that travel there frequently, and they insist that because of cultural norms, one should not jump to conclusions about a woman’s character or intentions because they pose in such attire.
Open Arms,
As I recall, you are a young man in your 20s. Is that correct? If so, I am aware of a number of women under 30 here in the States who are sweet, selfless, intelligent, and highly moral. Though I am 49 and have no intention of pursuing women that young, I do enjoy talking with them at every opportunity because they are a positive force in a sorry world. I would recommend frequenting restaurants around colleges and universities where a lot of fine girls work as waitresses, non-revenue sporting events, like women’s lacrosse matches, YMCA facilities, jogging trails, soup kitchens where compassionate women are found in abundance, massive metropolitan gatherings, church socials, hospitals, and similar events and places. I can assure you that they are out there, and they appreciate talking with young men like you. Ask some questions, show some interest in their lives, and I think you will be surprised at what you discover. I have continued to keep tabs on a number of young women who are now married and have children, and they are doing the good things that they aspired to. Please don’t be discouraged. The bad have probably always outnumbered the good, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find your dream.
Correction: because she poses in such attire.
Hello Sam,
Thank you for this insight, as the way different cultures see things can be very important!
Have to reply to this as a girl in her early twenties… I am on the lookout for a serious life partner and would never, ever dream of posing in next-to-nothing on the internet.
If I am being serious about my search for a man on a dating website (although i have never joined one, if i did…) I would just post a pic of me smiling or something, plenty about my interests, and wait for a conversation to take place between me and someone who wanted to get to know me.
Posing ‘scantily clad’ would send out the message that I am advertising my body, when I’d rather advertise my personality and interests. It must give a very bad impression to show your goods off to strangers on the internet and I’d guess a character like that would be quite immature, insecure and always on the lookout for something else. Those kind of pics should come AFTER you have gotten to know someone.
Thank you! This perspective coming from a young woman of character is more valuable to me than almost anything us guys can say.
I support Bella. I would never pose in bikini as well. For me it shows girls’ intentions.
Well I personaly wouldn’t post a picture of myself in a bikini or next to nothing on a dating site. It would not show I am serious. In point I agree with Bella’s view point. I personaly do not see that Bella or I are jealous. It should be noted the pictures of women posted on this website wear more then a bikin or next to nothing. Now for the ironic thing I noticed with my own eyes or on the tv or internet that there are skinny, good looking muslim women (and I am starting to think they are not in the minority). And they even cover up more strictly.
I can say it’s a common practice here to post such pictures in all social networks. So I don’t see what can prevent those girls from posting them on dating sites.
It’s not that everyone does it but I’d say it’s easier to say who doesn’t. So I’m afraid advertising one’s body is kind of ok. And the ones who don’t agree to it are *jealous* or there’s something horribly wrong with them.
Whaaaaaaat?
Are you serious Kisha? I am jealous because I wouldn’t post pictures of myself like that? I can only think of two on a social networking site I know who do pose in next-to-nothing in their profiles (out of 150) and those are both girls I’d never, ever touch if I was a boy. So, for me, and my particular cultural/social setting, it can be viewed in a ‘bad’ way (but as I said, I recognise maybe in other places it is fine, perhaps in Russia it is has different connotations)
But I’m certainly not jealous jut cos I don’t…! if you’re serious, I don’t see the logic here
Uh yea, apparently, if you don’t post pictures of yourself wearing something skimpy, and if you don’t really support the idea of showing off your body, and if you try to get this message across to them in an acceptible way (Like Darling it may win you some unwanted attention) then they would definately call you jealous of their erm (you decide).
There’s actually no logic here, but I’m dead serious.
I can’t say it’s fine here but as long as so many people do it, its sort of O.K. Maybe because the competition for women is tougher. Don’t know. But my mate dated a girl who had a pic of her in bikini as her profile pic, (which was primarily the reason he got attracted to her, as he confessed himself) and everyone later said she was a sweetheart.
I am fine with body advertising. It is their life, not mine.
Yes, in Russia now it is a common practice to attract guys by looking sexy. BUT! How long does this attraction last?
Russian women forgot another ways to attract men – the way that their chosen man will never be interested in others. And it is sad.
Happy women in our time are rarity. WHY???
Hi Open Arms,
I’ve been on the road so it’s been a challenge getting to these posts..
So here are my 2 cents..
Russian women (and also many Eastern European women) have a completely different cultural mindset when it comes to what “image” their clothes gives off.
In short.. A Russian woman dressing up in a revealing outfit doesn’t tell you anything about her overall character. Visit the riverside in the summer time in this part of the world and you will see heaps of women sunbathing in tiny bikinis or walking around in extremely sexy looking clothes.
The virtue of beauty here is just simply that.. There’s no 2nd guessing it or wondering if the girl has personality or ego issues. Women are simply allowed (and encouraged) to look their absolute best and sexiest at all times. It’s not considered a chore here either like it is in the west. Instead it’s considered to be a badge of honor as a woman.
And this is something we can all thank God for since there are places in this world where these values still exists..
GL
If a young woman posts pictures of herself like that, I would have to say no.
Taras
Genuine Woman,
In a way, I think your opening statements have answered your closing question.
There is a distinct difference between looking sexy and looking like you just want to get laid. Sexy attire has been an attraction tool used by women for about 2 or 3 thousand years. You’re right, it’s their choice. But looking like a tease or a tramp just to trick a man into writing to you is undignified, to say the least.
What seems to still exist in other countries is the belief that looking good will only get you an introduction but after that you need values and purpose in order to keep the man you’ve found. Over here the general train of thought is look like a $20 whore and then follow up with empty promises and a precise plan to get what you can before the guy wakes up and realizes how worthless you are to him. Men may want their woman to be a ‘hooker’ in the bedroom, but they don’t want to try to build a family or spend a lifetime with one.
As far as “Happy women in our time are rarity. WHY???” is concerned, clearly part of the problem is that their self image is such that they truly feel the need to advertise like a cheap piece of meat to get a man, then they find out that a real man would never love someone of that caliber. I’ve watched this phenomenon continue to develop throughout my lifetime and please be sure that men are none too happy about it either, which is why GL even exists.
Richard, thank you.
You are so right by pointing out that that men are unhappy as well! And without happy women they can’t be happy. As simple as that. I see so many wonderful men suffering from that!
Dear Ladies, let’s put things in harmony in our world! Let’s build our female happiness! It is in our female hands!
——
A woman who doesn’t develop harmoniously, she can’t attract men for a long time and she can’t be happy. I will explain it.
Let’s imagine a man who walks on the street with a lot of houses. These houses are built by women.
Some houses on the street look very sexy, beautiful and attractive – all men usually direct themselves into them (like flies fly toward honey.) But inside these houses are empty, or ugly, or dirty, or stinking – men can’t spend a lot of time within them. Men get sick and tired in these houses. Therefore eventually they ran away to look for another house.
Some houses on the street look very ugly. Very few men pay attention to them. Yes, inside these houses might be wonderful, charming, relaxing, and smelling nice – therefore, men loves to be there. But! The probability that a man can get into these houses is tiny; because a woman who built her house didn’t want to pay attention to outward beauty and attraction.
And very few houses IN OUR TIME are build harmoniously, that is they are attractive and beautiful on the outside + they are wonderful, charming, relaxing, and smelling nice inside. When a man gets into this house, he feels he came home and he wants always to be there!
Ekaterina
I love the house analogy. Also the way you high-lighted the part about ‘in our time’.
How do you suppose we could get men and women thinking the same way again? Do you think we ever can?
I am sure we can. I know we will. I can’t say definitely how it will happen for the western side of the world. But for Russians it will happen for sure when we will return back our original language – Slavic one. And with the language we will bring back our culture.
The wisdom of our forefathers is written in the images of every letter. Therefore, when boys and girls will begin to learn the structure of Slavic language – they will understand this wisdom as they understand that 2 + 2 is 4.
Without any instructions and dictionaries they will realize through the language the difference between men and women, what it means to be a wife and a husband, and how they can create happy and strong families.
—-
I wish all Russians to start recalling as soon as possible our original language which by the way consists of 49 letters.
Uh, Ekaterina, it would be quite hard to get back to proto Slavic language, cos it’s a dead language. So thats the major reason why people can speak it now. The other reason is you need funds to rebuild it, like jews did with Hebrew. Whos gonna fianantially support this long term linguistic experiment?( which can take 40 years at least) Definately not the goverment.
That’s an interesting thought. Where can I find more info about this proto slavic language? When did the transition occur? A friend I met in Ukraine mentioned that Ukrainian language is a language of romance. Is it for the same reason?
-M
Kisha,
Your mention of the funded reconstruction of the Hebrew language really piqued my curiosity. Could you briefly outline when and how this came about? I’d love to read something on this as well – do you have a book you’d recommend?
Doamna, can’t give you exact dates and sums, but it happened right after the state of Israel was founded. They needed a national language and the only sort of common language they had back then was Yuddish which we know is a pidgin of central European languages. So they rebuilt Hebrew from written sourses of ancient manuscripts of torah and the like. (It was a long and as I presume costy linguistic experiment cos they needed a whole gemeration grow with it as a mother tongue) I think you can find all the information you need about it online, as I don’t specialize in Semitic languages and really can’t advise on books.
Doama, I do not specialize in Israely history or culture and cannot give you exact dates, or advise on literature, but I think you can find the information about it in the internet.
All I know that they basically rebuilt Hebrew from written sourses of their manuscripts right after their state was founed. What they needed was a new generation for whom it would be a mother toungue to bring it back to life. It was a really costy govermental programm and it took years to make all it’s components work.
Kisha,
Slavic language did not die. 40-50% of it is still in our modern Russian language. We just need to start listening ourselves properly. In some villages you can find people who still talk in old-Russian.
Old-russian and Slavic language revives now. It comes not from government (because they will not do that – and there is a reason for that) – it comes from usual people who love our motherland and our mother-language.
Michael Zadornov is the one who contributes to that a lot. I am very proud that he is doing it. As well there are movies and books coming out on this topic. Movies: “Игры Богов” and a variety of resources you can find here: http://darislav.com/.
We will restore our origin language through usual people and families who realize what is going on now.
I personally began learning Slavic language and their culture by myself. =) And very happy with that because I began to understand my language and the wisdom of our forefathers.
—-
Manoah, I do not know if something is available in English. If I will find something, I will drop a note here.
Quite sufficient, Kisha, thank you. No need to be a specialist in order to have information.
Ekaterina, when I called it *dead* I did it from a linguistic point if view. Every language’s considered to be dead when there are no living beings who communicate in it. And all these ppl in villages don’t speak anything remotely close to ancient Slavic. They speak regional dialects of the modern Russian Language. The closes one can get to ancient Slavic is church Slavonic. But most self proclaimed encient Slavic speakers fail to understand it.
I adore Zadornov for his comic talent, but I don’t think he goes to far with his pseudoscientific conclusions about the origin of the Russian words. It most part contradicts the rules of word formation and sounds like an utter rubbish to anyone who’s got a linguistic background. Medved and Vedma correct but others are so far-fetched it’s almost ridiculous.
And you hardly can restore a dead language just by families and ppl who are interested in it. What you can restore a non-existent pidgin, because language (end esp a dead one) is a complicated system and it needs dedicated scholars to study it and only then spread it to the masses.
I’m glad you seek the wisdom of the forefathers, I’m only trying to say that there’s more bellow what lies at the surface.
Kisha, I agree with you. Zadornov’s conclusions of words origins are far away of the truth. As I see his strategy: he is not trying to educate masses, he is trying to arise the interest in our own language.
I might sound unrealistic, I am aware of that. But this is the way I am. I care only about the goal. And I have always achieved my crazy goals when others convinced me not even to try.
I believe in our motherland and I already see the change in a lot of people.
Good on you and best of luck =)
There is no shortage of men who want milk but don’t want to buy the cow and with nothing left for the imagination these days the honeymoons are over before the weddings.
I’m not buying the idea that women dress provocatively out of necessity because the competition is so great, i.e. there is no shortage of men who want milk. I believe it has more to do with power and holding sway. A woman who dresses this way thinks her pussy rules the world.
OMG, these conversations are the best!! You guys are so much fun to read. Ok, so my two cents since the conversation has twisted to image and dressing sexy…
I think dressing sexy is great but dressing like cheap woman is not good. Many women dress not for men but really to make other women jealous. To get another womans mans attention, this makes many women happy, trust me, i am a woman. (I dont consider myself like this, but I see it happen all the time.)
I think dressing overtly sexy, where it is obvious its for attention is so about control and jealousy. Trust me, I dont care if its Russian woman or American woman or woman from Japan, if the woman looks like they trying sooo hard its because they are desperate for attention, not because they take care of their femininity.
Women who care for their husband or boyfriend would be careful to be sexy to him only. Not to start fights in bars because they look like they are single trampping it up on top of the bar. This is so disrespectful for the husband.
I think many women in America is not about they are sexy or not, I think its about losing their traditional values. They work now, they dont need a man to take care of them, and you know what guys… When I was dating, many many many men said I want you to work, even when you have children. Ok, now in my culture, its ok to work, no problem but priority is your family, its taking care of house, husband and children, being curteous to family and friends. This is a lost art in America. Many women must work, and thier husbands want them to work. Ok, very well, but how to come home from work, take care of house and cooking cleaning and children. What you end up with is mess, is unhappy children and cheating husband…
Women from other countries still have this sense of family and not feeling as if they loser if they stay home, its not problem. Because priortiy is making ends meet with as much money your husbands make. Making best of everything…. Not admiring handbags famous people carrying or your best friends BMW… many of us eastern european/russian women can put on $20 dress and where it like it costs $200 because 1) confidence and 2) because we make the best of what we have.
America women little bit spoiled.
May I add that American women are not a “little bit spoiled” but very, VERY MUCH spoiled.
Richard,
I believe you can add quite a few more “very’s” to that last statement.
Spoiled is too nice a word for a growing number of American women. Crazy or even psychotic describes the likes of many of the ones I dealt with over the years.
Taras
I think there is a lot of truth in this. There is a lot of wanting what what everybody else has.
This actually makes me think of an experience I had a few weeks ago. I’ve started taking more interest in fashion and during Copenhagen Fashion Week my friend and I decided to go to a Fashion Week party at a fancy hotel. We’d never tried anything like that before, and I guess I’d always thought that that kind of thing would be tremendous fun. And it just wasn’t. At all. It seemed that people were there for the sole purpose of being seen. The music was way too loud to have any kind of conversation. There was even a tiny bit of red carpet for people to be photographed on even though it was an open guest list.
We left after an hour, and I have never been happier to just be little ordinary me! People (myself included) tend to think that everybody else is having so much fun all the time and it just isn’t true.
Hazel
)
(Now with a wordpress blog and therefore a new “name”
“When I was dating, many many many men said I want you to work, even when you have children. Ok, now in my culture, its ok to work, no problem but priority is your family, its taking care of house, husband and children, being curteous to family and friends. This is a lost art in America. Many women must work, and thier husbands want them to work. Ok, very well, but how to come home from work, take care of house and cooking cleaning and children. What you end up with is mess, is unhappy children and cheating husband…”.
—
I completely agree with this. I hope that if/when I settle down I can look after my children and the house and get a part-time job perhaps. But in this day and age I’m not too sure its possible to survive on one full-time wage. I couldn’t bear coming home to distant kids being shipped off to someone else, mess everywhere and microwave food. Urgh!
I think this really sums up why so many men are interested in women from the FSU: “still have this sense of family and not feeling as if they loser if they stay home, its not problem. Because priortiy is making ends meet with as much money your husbands make. Making best of everything…. Not admiring handbags famous people carrying or your best friends BMW… many of us eastern european/russian women can put on $20 dress and where it like it costs $200 because 1) confidence and 2) because we make the best of what we have.” Well put selma!
~~~~~~~~~
I ran across this article and was quite unsettled by it, and so I wanted to see how everyone else reacted to it as well. I do think it represents only a small minority, but it does speak to how Ukraine is starting to see more Western influence.
http://www.kyivpost.com/nation/47265
Wow, what an article.
Well, this is the second such class I’ve heard about in the FSU this year, the first being offered to women in St. Petersburg, Russia. It speaks volumes to everything an intelligent NA man is trying to avoid in his homeland.
Looking at a few particulars of the article;
“Do not cave in to her. Do not call her more than she calls you. Do not do more for her than she does for you. Do not pay for her more than she pays for you. Do not love her more than she loves you.”
Do the words, me, me me, ME stand out to the rest of you in this? One of the key points that the early feminists were spouting around was that men treated them like a piece of meat. Guys started coming up with little tid bits like The 5 Fs: find ‘em, feel ‘em, f*ck ‘em, forget ‘em, for ever. Men were ready to follow the path they were accused of even if they had never before prescribed to such degrading attitudes. This moron Golovnya is setting us all back about 50 years.
“The school thinks it is filling a void in the lives of Ukrainian women.”
Well, at least this one arrogant son-of-a-bitch thinks so. But then Saddam Hussein thought he was a benefactor to ‘his’ people, too. Too bad the Ukrainian women aren’t speaking for themselves on this topic. It would be nice to let the women of the region take this jack ass out in the country, slice him into little pieces and feed him to his own kind. (the animals of the forest)
“The best ‘pick-upper’ is called a guru. He has already found his one and only woman for life but can pick up any woman any time just to stay in shape.”
Yes, I think we should all get ‘training’ from this idiot in how to ‘find your one and only’ then go out and ‘stay in shape’ by picking up any other woman you want. Other than Jane Fonda, I can’t recall the last person who has ever spewed such totally ignorant bullshit and actually believed what they were saying.
Now how about the woman’s training?
“There are no special rules at women’s training. Rules are for men. We emphasize intuition and sensuality, and talk about the soft spots of men. Glance, voice, gestures, motion and sex are among those important things true women should play with.”
Isn’t this exactly why we are here? Isn’t avoiding this whole mentality the reason that GL exists? This is a real life lesson, guys, go half way around the world to find a woman who you could commit your life to only to discover that she’s been to a training course on how to dump men. Yes, indeed! There isn’t nearly enough of that kind of crap in the world today.
“I was counting those whom I managed to seduce up to sex and then refused them. I can name 19 victories in 2 ½ months.”
My God, it sounds just like the United States of Ukrain-ia.
“ . . . seduce them up to sex and then refuse them”, “ . . . 19 victories in 2 ½ months” She calls them VICTORIES, and some people wonder where violence against women is rooted.
Golovnya is teaching the absolute disenfranchising of feelings in the male/female relationship and extracting only the lowest common attraction known to mankind; pure animal husbandry. Kind of like breeding dogs for show or more like the donkeys screwing prostitutes on stage in Mexican sex clubs.
I would feel better seeing his name associated with the headline, “Self proclaimed pick up guru dies of AIDS”. His grotesque existence is proof that the worst of humanity has some strange ‘right’ to live despite what an insult he is to the rest of us.
If there is a better name for this guy than “asshole” I wish somebody would share it with me. I can’t think of anything else that fits at the moment.
I don’t know if it is something new for Ukraine, but in Russia it is not. I remember at least 3 years ago (when I lived in Russia), there were TV-shows teaching how to pick-up girls and shows how to get a man. As well, there were a lot of books and training courses on this subject.
I am sure that true people will take the best from it and will leave behind the bad.
The “shit” (sorry, for the word, but it express what I feel) comes from the western side for a long time and it touches absolutely every aspect of our society. Every year TV shows, education, language are going worse and worse – it is a shame to see.
Those who realize what is going on openly are trying to face those Russian who bring this “shit” to our country. But the answer is simple: TV businesses defend themselves by stating that it is what the majority wants. The word “conscience” was altered with rating and money.
But we are not fool, and there is a limit for everything. As Pushkin (our famous poet) said: “Russia will rise from the sleep.” So, my beloved Pushkin, – time came, we are already rising from the sleep!
—
I would like to share with a video in YouTube that uncovers a little bit what I am talking about: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4keHJCUHhy8
—-
Ekaterina
Unfortunately Ekaterina, western television is full of destructive messages and ideologies that have done immense damage here in western nations. However, it seems there are people in the governments of Eastern European nations who agree with you. Ukraine just banned pornography for example. As for the garbage spewing from the TV, there is one way to respond, turn the damn thing off and get a life. Vote with your feet, and from what I can see Russia and Ukraine has their own television networks anyway. You have some really good recording artists in your country by the way. But life is not about staring passively at the idiot box. Spend time with your family, enjoy hobbies, do something special for the special someone in your life, exercise or if you’re religious, go to church. I watch very little television myself and I can find lots of better things to do than stare at the idiot box. I would much rather look at stars and galaxies with my telescopes or improve my wood working than watch the shit that gushes from the TV like a ruptured sewer main.
Taras
That’s unfortunate Ekaterina, because it will lead to Russian women chasing creeps then wondering why normal men don’t want anything to do with them! Really, why would I want to marry a woman who lusts after murderers, gang members and worse, who then expects me to take care of her and raise her bastard kids too. That’s right women here have kids out of wedlock all the time, and think nothing of it. Fortunately, there is a thing you people can do. Turn off the damn TV. Spend time with your family, get right with God if you’re religious, learn a new song, meet new people or take up a hobby. I watch very little TV, instead I look at stars and galaxies, work on my wood working or lavish attention on my cats. Most of what’s on TV only angers and upsets me, and I’ve come to regard it as a negative force in people’s lives that must be unplugged. I think going to your church and government officials and raising objections to stuff like this is worthwhile. I’ve seen on You Tube how your TV puts TV programs here to shame. As for awaking, the same was said of the U.S. on the eve of WW-II, namely about awakening a giant and filling him with a terrible resolve. It seems the same is happening in Russia. I do hope in the end it will lead to a better world not just for Russians, but for everyone.
Taras
Taras,
I understand what you mean.
Personally I did not watch much TV when I was in Russia. Now I don’t watch it at all. I use YouTube and RuTube to find certain programs to see what it is going on there.
But teenagers and kids watch a lot of TV and they grow up on it. That’s my concern because they are our next generation.
It has been said that only when a man(or woman) knows and understands that he is loved by God, or someone, perhaps anyone, or ideally all three,that he is able to transcend selfish desires, and truly live and contribute to the health and wellbeing of the world around him. Despite the strong influence of our cultures, and the miles that separate us, our human nature is our common denominator, and love is what we all need to thrive. For the sake of all of us, let’s make an effort to communicate love to those that need it the most. Racism, bigotry, pornography, financial exploitation and all the world’s ills are sorry substitutes for the love that is needed to fill lonely spaces, particularly hearts. The USA has its problems, we have definitely lied and plundered, maybe stuck our collective noses where they don’t belong, and exported many undesirable things, but it grieves me to read such critical things about my country, particularly the women of my country. I know dozens of good, honorable American women. Hope remains in the land. Come see me, and I’ll take you to meet some fine ones. Some old, some young, some married and some yet single. Some are living in foreign lands, and I am confident that they are helping to assuage the bad feelings that have arisen.
So, let’s get back to the subject here. GL, more pictures and stories about the women of Russia and the surrounding countries please. Let’s celebrate love and marriage, hearth and home, good women and their good mates. Let’s celebrate the children they have, and the sacrifices their mothers make for their welfare. And, Russian women, if you are out there, please send some of those good ideals and those wonderful qualities our way. We all need the good influence and we thank you for it in advance.
Sam,
I agree that there are many really great women in the US as well as everywhere else. I also know that the more we build up, the better we appeal to those around us so our best effort should be to find that inherent good in everyone.
Now here’s the inevitable “but” to that. We must identify, understand and know the enemy in order to have any hope of defeating it. Be it some ultra-right wing military point of view or a purist Christian one, we are called by common sense to call a spade a spade and hold back none of our anguish at the sight of our disintegrating moral base. Silence poisons our belief and when our core belief has died, we become complacent and ineffective in everything we do.
Support the good that we see but do not remain silent about the bad. It will only be through continuously expounding the real dangers of modern relationships that we can help others to avoid those pitfalls.
From one who separated from his childhood sweetheart, after 26 yrs of marriage. My wife drove me crazy we “Money”. Even though we had it, she wanted more. She also forgot how to caress and make love to her husband. No!, she was not cheating on me. It was all about being in high society and feeling secure by going to sleep with a couple of million dollars worth in assets. At 49 yr/old, I met this lovely Half-Russian/Half-Cuban 28 yr/old.
I am not saying that she does not like the financial security. But, she has definitely brought new perspective on my life. I have found a woman who supports me,caresses me and knows how to romantically make love to me. Every morning is like taking a new energy pill (as well as a new mood pill). We find that we cant’ be outside each others’ site and our lives is full of simplistic desires. Being with each other is at the top of the list!!
“Rob”
Isn’t Mel Gibson getting owned hard by her with the divorce battle?
Correct.
I guess in some ways its good to know these things to remove the rose coloured goggles I get when I see this site sometimes.
I don’t know what to think about the Mel Gibbson deal. He is a hell of a director and a good actor. But I can accept that he isn’t a perfect man. Hopefuly he will still be directing movies and even acting after all is said and done. Hollywood only sees dollar signs so there is a high chance he will still be in the movie industry. Even his two movies that were in subtitles if I remember right did real well.
One thing that has always been uncomfortable to me is how easily the public steps in to judge and condemn entertainers for their personal lives. It shouldn’t matter in the least what star is dating what other star or who is sneaking around the set with whoever. I can’t say it loud enough; WHO CARES? My times in music, radio, comedy and acting were all a mix of enjoyable and tiring and frustrating but just part of the life I was leading. It never crossed my mind that being friends with or dating someone of more notoriety was anything different than hanging around with anyone else, yet it was always on their mind. Never because it made a difference to them so much but more because they were always trying to look out for the interests and privacy of people like me who were not used to that part of popularity.
I don’t care at all who Jennifer Aniston is dating (I know it ain’t me) or whether or not little Justin “Creeper” is on or off the market. I don’t even know who the Kardashians are, much less why their sex life is important enough to rate a TV show devoted to it. What’s more, I have never met anyone of real substance or position in life who cares any more about that stuff than I do.
I’ve met enough “famous” people to know a few things for certain;
1) most of them are exactly like the rest of us.
2) some of them are real *ssh*l*s.
3) none of them deserve to be treated like super humans.
4) their love lives are NO more important than our own.
Also, now that I’ve reached the point in life to have been married once for my relative popularity and once for my resources, it is a sure bet that any other opportunity for me to wed will be after much more careful planning and a long engagement, followed by one hell of a pre-nup.
Forget a Prenup. A judge will probably overturn it if it’s considered ‘unfair’. Learn about express trusts and how to manage them….
You’re actually right. I generalize when using the term “pre-nup” because it simplifies my feelings. But as I tell people now days, if the lawyers for Donald Trump didn’t come up with a bullet proof agreement, what luck will the rest of us really have.
I’m actually more concerned with estate planning to protect my daughter’s inheritance than anything else right now, and I’ve had some pretty good advice with regards to that.
The pisser is that as soon as we come up with a solid protection for our resources, the goons in government find a way to slip in and take it away anyhow.
All in all, there is a good argument for never getting married and breaking up serious relationships every 5 or 6 years to avoid common law and other hidden marriage penalties.
It’s too bad I am so old fashion as to believe that romance leads to love which leads to marriage which leads to family which leads to growing old together and dying in each others’ arms.
Then, putting all property into an express private contract trust is your best bet… You eliminate a whole score of problems at one shot… Vindictive ex wife cannot get any assets in said trust… (look for an article called ‘those who mistrust’) You can have people removed from trust property at any time. I court order for you to be removed cannot be enforced… She can have a court order for you to be removed, and if you handle it right, they will remove her…
Your daughter can be the beneficiary, and be made trustee upon your death. You have the use of all your property… Oh, ya, it’s exempt from statutory control… It’s based on Article 1 Section 10 of the US Constitution.
You may also want to read “USA The Republic:Is the House No One Lives In.”
If you want to know more, you can talk to me privately…
Had to split for some reason…
The trust is based on the laws of private contract. In the USC, private contract is supreme. I can’t remember the cite off the top of my head… Basically, it says, “No state shall pass any law or statute that impairs the fulfilment of a private contract.”
Oh, another advantage of the trust… It avoids those pesky grave taxes…
Richard,
You are not old-fashioned. As much as I am distressed and depressed by your experience with marriage and relationships, I have hope that you will find genuine love. Every now and then, I bump into someone who understands what really matters in this world, and, incredibly, he or she lives it. So, they are out there, Richard.
Tolstoy’s personal life was tumultuous, but his writings reveal his grasp of what true love is. He had a reverence for the joy of the simple things as well, and all the truly happy do. Who can forget his reference to the aroma of freshly baked bread wafting from an open window, or the flight of a dove above a running boy and new snow?
The quotes from Tolstoy below are for all who read them this Christmas season. The first is cutting, but all the more salient in the world as we know it in 2010.
“He remembered his mother’s love for him, and his family’s, and his friends’, and the enemy’s intention to kill him seemed impossible.”
Leo Tolstoy(WAR AND PEACE)
“He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began.”
Leo Tolstoy
Thank you, Sam, for the Tolstoy quotes! Few can touch my soul like he does…beautiful.
–Anna M.
You are welcome, Anna.
Much of my recent writing seems Tolstoy-esk to me, not because I put myself on that literary level; but rather because I am now able to understand and fully respect the deepest emotional human connection to what we call love while also acknowledging that it is in all likelihood something reserved for others. Some will know great skill or success in sports or business and be recognized for it while others will know great love and live a life which reflects that blessing. I will wait until my life is at an end to try determining what it was, if anything, that I had been given.
Good evening, Richard. Among other things, I can say that you have been blessed with a superior mind, fine writing skills, the confidence and patience to speak your mind eloquently, a healthy daughter, the good fortune to have been born and raised in middle America, and, most importantly, in my estimation, a strong faith. I know you will reflect on those things this weekend, and I know you will give thanks appropriately.
We believe love existed prior to the singularity that occurred 13.7 billion years ago, and that it will continue into infinity, so there’s time to work on getting it right, here in time and space and beyond.
Love is a plenty for those who know where to look.
Seek and ye shall find.
-M
Thank you very much for your kind words, Sam.
This is a week when being with people we care for sparks reflection and thanksgiving for all we have. My life has been a wild ride and merely surviving for this long has surprised many people.
A healthy and bright daughter, good friends and food on the table top a pretty long list of blessings.
You are so right about the good fortune of growing up where I did, as well as the value of faith. I think we are both very lucky in many ways because of the experiences we’ve had.
I greatly enjoy the perspectives shared here and look forward to a lot more in the new year.
Happiest of holidays to you and yours.
Good post, Richard. The fascination humans have with fame has overwhelmed our country. The industry that revolves around tracking and reporting on every move “these people” make must be a multi-billion dollar one.
Since I have an interest in the arts, and a now minor interest in sports, I can comprehend a strong appreciation for the talent some people have in those areas, but I am baffled by the desire to probe into the lives of talented(or untalented) people in the public eye.
I believe many people are trying to justify their existence or prove their value through recognition. This mindset seems to be prominent in people who are consumed with fame as well.
I have a friend who was the object of some ridicule and scorn in his youth because his family immigrated from Greece. Because he is extremely outgoing, sensual, and in dire need of approval and attention, he found exclusion to be extremely hurtful. I can sympathize with him, but we argue regularly about the excessive value we tend to place on those who have achieved fame. His son has made millions in comedy and ridiculous Hollywood movies recently, and, not surprisingly, those who once ostracized my friend or at best paid him no mind are now declaring him to be their hero. Calls are coming in from everywhere, literally. It’s a strange world indeed, Richard.
Its not really only just America, its like that in many places. Actually, everywhere I think, the fascination with fame? And money. Don’t you think so?
Hello Danyet,
Human nature being what it is, I imagine you are right, Danyet.
Middle-aged men around here can’t understand the fame part of it, though. Sometime back, a friend came to lunch and asked, “Could someone please get that blond lady off my television set?” The poor young woman had overdosed and died, and we were all respectful of the loss, but professed no interest in all the rest…. much less two months of it.
We old guys are enjoying the simple moment, but that expectation of something more fulfilling, lasting and meaningful has grown stronger. We’re engaged and happy but what some girl out in Hollywood thinks or does is irrelevant to us. Ballplayers’ comings and goings invoke the same feelings. We have more important things to do. Heck, we have dogs to slip snacks to, freshly baked apple pies to smell, jogs and walks awaiting us, old ladies waiting for us to open doors, and, furthermore, there’s talk of light snow for the weekend. I hope my dog, Sadie, is up for a walk.
Its not only old guys. -.-
I am only mid 20s but I think same way too, but it makes me a very boring person in the west apparently. hehe
Most of my friends are men in their 30s or 40s. of which a good portion of them have families and seem to care about things that really matter, so I have much easier time communicating with them and enjoying their company. When I tell others around my age group I think they are cool, most of the time they stare at me like I am the weird one. I guess its not normal.
I also know another guy like this, and he is younger than me. I also think he is cool!!!
Somewhere around the time between Paris Hilton’s sex tape scandal and her having to go to jail for a few days over a driving while impaired conviction, I pleaded with a radio station where some friends work to stop the constant gossip column banter about her.
Every day, at almost every news break they had to say something else about that little bimbo. I called in during the show a couple of times asking them to just drop it all because no one cared. I sent emails to the show, to the program director and even to the station management but it did no good.
Finally, I called one of the DJs that I knew off air and offered to make a $500 donation to the charity of his choice to try convincing his comrades to back off of the whole Paris topic. He told me there was nothing he could do about it because “it was news”.
There were real news stories going on at the time, as there always are, and all of those other stories were more important than poor, little, billionaire heiress Paris having to face a few days in a county lock up, but the obsession with our domestic royalty preempted it all.
I have to admit that I was a little star struck several years ago having lunch with a beautiful movie star on the set of a film being shot in Seattle. She was as exciting to meet as she appeared on a television series she starred in or the movies she’d made, yet she was also as warm and personable as any of my very best, life long friends. She prepared her own sandwich but only after asking to make one for me. She asked about my life and the things I did for fun and then she sat quietly waiting to hear my reply. When I asked about her other interests beyond acting she was quick to discuss other business ventures as well as pleasureful pass times. I left that lunch feeling as if I had spent time with an old high school friend.
I guess my point in adding that would be that these famous people are just people. Some are nice, some are not so nice. Some are friendly, compassionate and caring while others are disgustingly arrogant and self absorbed. And through all of this hidden normality among public figures, we as a people tend to allow our obsessions to gravitate to the most outrageous and least realistic of them. It seems that only the most audacious of them are what piques our interest.
Mel’s popularity would be greatly reduced had he not made those alcohol induced, antisemitic remarks. Mickey is better known because of his addiction than simply for his body of work as an actor. The same sort of thing can be said for nearly all of the biggest names in Hollywood or headlines.
We obsess more with the crashing failure of these people than we do with their professional ability or their human commonality. The paparazzi don’t watch stars eating a cheeseburger to see what they are eating but to see if they slobber mustard down their shirt. They don’t follow starlets to the beach to see them in swim suits but rather to see if the swimsuit comes off or to see who is with them when it does.
The morbid nature of the whole thing makes me less impressed with my peers who might be interested in such things than with the celebrities they watch.